There is nothing scarier than my epilepsy. Most people don't understand what exactly epilepsy is. To lose control of a body part is one of the most terrifying things that ever happened to me. My first seizure was the scariest since it was what would be classified as a Grand Mal Seizure which is the biggest and worst type of seizure known to humans. Through my epilepsy I have lost all fear of other things in my life.
To witness and/or experience an epileptic seizure is something that can scar you for life like it has for me. My first seizure I ever had was a Grand Mal seizure, the worst and biggest of all three types of seizures which go from smallest to biggest: Partial Seizures, Complex Seizures, then Grand Mal or sometimes referred to as Tonic-Clonic Seizures. Grand Mal seizures include the loss of consciousness.
The night I had my first seizure, I was sleeping and my mom suddenly woke me up panicking. In my head I was asking, "Why is she waking me up and freaking out?" Then I realized I felt something wet on my bed and I looked and I had thrown up. When I realized I had thrown up I tried moving my right arm to get up out of bed since my left arm was broken but I couldn't move my right arm at all, it was like as if the nerves in my right arm weren't receiving the messages from my brain to move and help me get up. As I realized I couldn't move my arm, my mom was telling me, "Tyler get out of bed so we can go to the bathroom and clean you up." I tried talking and telling my mom, "Mom whats going on? My right won't move no matter how much I try moving it." but all that came out of my mouth was gibberish since I wasn't able to put words together right, it was like as if I was a baby again saying random words. While I tried talking I realized that I was drooling and I couldn't focus very well like as if I was still sleeping.
My mom realized that I couldn't move my right arm and that something was very wrong since I couldn't talk and was drooling so she said, "Tyler hold on let me get your dad. MICHAEL COME HERE QUICKLY, SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH TYLER, I THINK HE HAD A SEIZURE." My dad came rushing and helped my mom get me out of bed and change my shirt since it had throw up on it. I was still out of it at the moment after my parents changed my shirt, they brought me downstairs to the living room and laid me down on the couch and then my mom said, "Michael go call 911." My dad went to the phone and dialed 911 and told them, "My son just had a seizure and needs to be taken to a hospital." Within 25 minutes the ambulance came and took me to the hospital and doctors were examining me and when they were done they told my parents and me, "Your son has Epilepsy, specifically Benign Rolandic Epilepsy. From how he was drooling and couldn't put words together, his seizures seem to be focused around his mouth."
That is all I remember from that night. But since my first seizure, I have never feared anything besides the fact that at anytime I could lose control of my mouth and it could start twitching out of control. Just the thought of losing control of my mouth and not being able to talk for at least 20 minutes terrifies me. One good thing that came from my epilepsy though is it made me stronger emotionally and mentally. Thats why I no longer fear death or any other kind of fear people have.