Do you remember?

I’ve never had much structure in my life, I’ve never had someone to sit me there and tell me about the ways of life, telling me how to do my chores, I never had anyone to tell me to sit down and do my homework.. Hell, I don’t even think my parents would have known what grade I was going to every year if my school wasn’t constantly sending progress notes about the trouble I caused in class that day. Frankly the only thing that I remember of the days were waking up in the morning, and falling asleep at night. It’s never been something that I wanted to think about because when I was younger I didn’t think I lived the childhood that all kids lived, I’ve always had the feeling like something was different than others. Not believing that I was ever better than others, But.. Just different.


I’ve always told myself that if I were to die tomorrow, I would be content with the state that I’m in, I’ve seen everything that I want to see, lived everything I wanted to live, felt everything that I wanted to feel, Ah shit, I don’t want to turn this into one of those stories where I’m going to express my suicidal thoughts and shit like that, Because that’s not me at all actually.. I don’t want to die, and I don’t have the balls to take my own life. But I feel like I’m ready, like.. I’m not scared.. ya feel me? I don’t feel myself either. Yeah it’s whatever.


Well let me get the hell out of feelings and hop out of this bed, I can hear my grandmother’s footsteps coming upstairs because it’s 10 minutes past my alarm clock and she doesn’t “Hear my footsteps”.... Aw shit, I hear em coming.



“TREEEEYYYYY!, you awake? get it moving, pick it up, I don’t hear my footsteps up there!!” Grandmother said



“Yes, I’m AWAKE! Jesus christ”  *As I say it under my breath*



What’d you say?” Grandmother said



“Oh nothing, I love you!”


Grandmother walks back downstairs into the kitchen to finish breakfast



One thing that I’ve never understood is the way my grandmother tries to teach me “Responsibly” but always feels the need to baby me. Jesus Christ I’m eighteen years old. Maybe if she was too to stop babying me, you know? and start treating me like an eight year old, but then get on my case when I start acting like one. It’s like I can never win in this dreaded house. I hate life, Ard.. I don’t have the worst life when you see me in person and you if you didn’t know me.



I live in a pretty financially stable family, my neighborhood is filled with million dollar houses where you can’t see the faces of neighbors without walking up to their front door. We have three cars.. Three cars that I can’t even DRIVE! But ... O take deep breaths to calm myself down, Okay... Let’s breath, that’s beside the point. But yeah .. it’s okay. I live with my grandparents, my grandmother works for a federal judge, while my grandfather owns his own law firm.. Yeah I live with some stuck up people, but I love them.. I think? Guess I’ll find out when they die.


You can say I live the best of both worlds.. My mother lives in West philly, down at the bottom where you can’t see the sunlight.. She used to live in Germantown before my father took her house from her in a nasty Divorce, eh, that’s a whole other can of worms. But anyways... yeah I don’t see her to often.. she’s always busy and when she’s not, I’m always busy. We make phone calls to each other when we can, but it’s mostly phone tag. But when we do get on the phone, that’s okay.. But it’s a celebration every time we link up. Haha, Speaking of the devil




My phone started to ring and immediately I knew it was her. I picked up.



Hey mom!


“Hey son, how are you?” Mother said


Oh I’m fine, I’ve been thinking about you, I miss you, We never get to see each other anymore, I wanted to know if we could hang out sometime, If I’m not busy like always.


Oh that’s fine with me, just give me a time a date” Mother said


Okay, I’ll talk to you later mom, I love you!



It seems like those plans.. never plan out. I actually don’t remember the last time that I’ve seen my mother longer than for a hour. It seems like it’s ALWAYS something that comes in between us that stops us from hanging out, almost like something is watching me. FBI agents climbing in the trees and keeping their close eye on me as I try to make these plans and they’re like “Noooo nigga”. Whatever.. I should probably get ready to wake out the house, I look over at my phone



LUNCH TIME AT SCHOOL




When I walk into the lunchroom, I see a bunch of people that I'm really not friends with. I seem to have trouble making the friends that I actually want to keep around, or do they want to keep me around? I actually don’t know. It’s 11:30 and I have to leave early to go to the doctors, I don’t usually go and I don’t remember making an appointment but my grandmother called me to tell me that we we’re going at 1:30, well I guess that this day is cut short. Remember when I said that I didn’t wanna live anymore? I just hope that the doctor will tell me that I have some type of cancer or something.. Like Lung cancer? Nah fuck that.. that’s a slow death.



If there is anyone that I would want to talk too in this world right about now. it would be Dovi, See .. she’s this girl that I have 2nd period with everyday, we’ve actually never even spoke, but I don’t know why I haven’t talked to her anyways.. Every time that I want to talk to her, I just start folding and my stomach reaches toes and I just want to run away.. Shit shit.. She’s coming up the hallway and I have no where else to turn.



*Scares at Dovi walk by*



Hey Dovi! *Says in his head*


*She looks at Trey like a weirdo*



Shit shit, ahh it’s whatever. she was never going to notice me anyways. I’m just glad that I’m leaving now,


*Calls on the loudspeaker*




Trey Harper, COME TO THE OFFICE FOR EARLY DISMISSAL



Welp, I guess that’s my cry for help. I’m out of this hell hole, only for the day.



As I walk out the front doors of the school, I can see my grandmother in the car with a smile on her face, but I know deep down that she’s a bitter woman, but anyways that’s beside the point.. I get into the car and we say nothing to each other, I ask her why do I have to go to the doctors again. She kinda just ignores me for five minutes then tells me.



“It’s just a check-up on your surgery” She said



Ah, that dumbass surgery.. I remember it like it was yesterday. Well I actually don’t remember it at all. It was the summer of 10th grade when I spent a week a christian camp, It was some overnight camp in the middle of bubblefuck PA, the people were too nice and the food was nasty. I remember I would wake up every morning at Six O’clock on the dot to go into the bathroom and wash my face, brush my teeth and workout.. but anyways, I was playing football with a bunch of other kids and I slipped and hit my head on a rock that was in the park, the only rock that was in the park..


I was rushed to the Hospital that day on a helicopter, I barely remember the ride, I barely remember anything that happened before the day that happened, I had lost all of my long term memory, well there goes my childhood.. I was 17 years old and I didn’t even remember my 5th birthday party. I didn’t remember where I went to school and I didn’t  even know who I was. My family tells me that I came out a different person once I got out that hospital.



When I got to the doctors to have a check up on my post surgery, I didn’t have much to say, I didn’t have anything to say at all actually. I never like talking about it because I start to think about my life before the surgery, and I don’t even remember my life before the surgery. The doctor just gave me a short talk about how I can get through it and how everything will eventually get better, and that I might be able to get my memory back, ah shit.. don’t get me excited.



After the doctors appointment, my grandmother and I got into the car and drove home, quiet as usual. I started to think about my past, like .. what if? I’ve always thought it was weird that my family never really tried to tell me, or let me know about my childhood.. It was just something that I learned to let go, But what if I found out about myself? the things that I got into, Hell.. I don’t even know if I’m a virgin or not.


Once I got home, sitting on my bed,  I don’t know what to think about my life anymore, I think that I pretty much went over how I’m done with life right? I just want to know my life again.. Damn I have this crazy ass headache, this is the worse that I’ve ever had in a while, or just in my life, period. I think I’m going to grab some advil or something to take the pain away.


Oh I can feel that this advil isn’t working.. I’m going to need something more powerful. I don’t think that there is anything that’s in the medicine cabinet. Maybe if I just take a nap, when I wake up, I’ll feel all better and It’ll just wash away.. hopefully.











Whoaaaaaaa; what the hell? where am I?  why does everything look so different?! HEY HEY!



I look around and I don’t see anywhere that looks familiar, I woke up in a car style bed, like when did I get this? where the hell am I? I don’t think that I’m home anymore, this is some crazy shit. I don’t even know where my phone is, I turn around to my left and I see a little ass boy laying in bed next to me, Aw shit, I’m not in pervert in this dream right? this is a dream right? I keep asking myself these questions when I know damn well I don’t know the answer too. I fell to the ground as I just jumped off the bed as fast as I could, I was frantic and worried like shit. I just want to get home, I hope I don’t end up in jail. I hear the door knob moving and I just know it’s someone’s parents rushing in, aw shit.. shit shit shit..




“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR TREY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!” Random parents.


“Mommy! Daddy!!!!! Thank you!!!” Random boy laying in the bed.



“Come downstairs, we have something waiting for you baby!”



The boy next to me, jumps out of bed so excited.. runs out of the room to go downstairs, The only thing that’s going through my mind right now is that, HOW THE HELL DID THEY NOT SEE ME, WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!! and those parents look really familiar, familiar to my own parents. I’m so confused right now.. what is happening. I’m going to just walk out of this slowly and try my best to get out here.. As I’m creeping out the little kid’s bedroom and I take a quick peek out the hallway and I see a group of little kids rush past the room.. I slammed that door so hard because I didn’t wanna get caught. I peeked my head back into the hallway and I didn’t see anyone. I walked down the hallway towards the front door steps. I see shit load of people sitting down, kids running around the place and I didn’t know what to do with myself. Still, STILL.. Not one soul noticed me, it’s like everyone is just looking through me like I don’t exist, what is happening right now? The only thing that I see are a bunch of people screaming happy birthday to that boy with the same name as me.. man this shit is getting weirder and weirder.  



When I was weirded out in the background, I noticed that the boy was wearing the same socks that I have in my drawer at home, My grandmother use to always tell me ”These were you were favorite socks when you were younger” she always told me to hold on to them that maybe one day, They’ll help me “Remember” I never knew what she was talking about ....


Until now.



Holy shit, it’s my 5th birthday party...


Is this a memory? dream? what’s happening.



The crazy part is that I don’t think that I’ve ever seen this memory, I don’t remember being here, I don’t remember my parents ever being together.. my family being happy.. I notice that I had a smile on my face and all of these people around me who I didn’t even know, knew me.. where are all of these people now? I swear after this day, I’ve never seen these people in my life again. After the accident, I don’t remember seeing these people at all.. this was really weird. But really the only thing that I remember is me... living life after 10th grade. When I look at this, it doesn’t look like I was on the route to where I am now.



As I sat down and watched all of them play and have a party... I took one blank and I ended up in my bed at home.. I woke up .. but didn’t I already wake up? I’m so confused, what is happening right now? as I got out the bed I turned to my phone to tell who texted me, I had got multiple calls and messages from my friends asking me to come workout with them.. I was only asleep for a night? it felt like forever. I have to tell my friend Shawn this when I first see him.



As I got to school the next morning, I had to run and find shawn to tell him that I think I had a dream about my first memory. When I walked into first period I saw him sitting on the other side of the classroom by the window, I walk over there and sat down with him




“Yoooo Bro” I said


“Yo, what’s up bro” Shawn said


“I think I had a crazy ass dream last night, I don’t know if it was a dream, bad nightmare or both”


“What do you mean bro?”



“ I just had a dream that I woke up in the bed with my younger self.. It was my 5th birthday party and I walked through the house and saw everyone cheering for the little version of myself” it was weird as shit.”


“Damn that’s crazy”



I decided to let it go, thinking that it was just a dream.. maybe it was nothing important.. but I felt like I was in there forever, I couldn’t leave, and that headache though? why did I get a headache and thought about that before I actually fell asleep?



When I got home, I just went to my kitchen table and I sat down and looked for advil and other pills to secure my headache. I didn’t know why I was started to have these headaches more and more often and didn’t know what to do. I think that i'm going to go to bed and just hope that nothing happens, I'm going to sleep.



I woke up in a dark room where I didn’t know what was happening. I just got straight up and looked around. I walked out the room and I was at a school.. did I just walk out the cleaning closet? The first thing that I hear on the the loudspeaker is.



“TREY HARPER, PLEASE REPORT TO THE OFFICE”



I didn’t know where that was so I just walked aimlessly around the school and I walked up a staircase and I saw this little light skin kid walk past me, he looked really sad, like he was about to get into a lot of trouble that he knew was coming to him. He walked into the office, so I followed him into the office and again.. it was like no one could see me. I saw that light skin kid sitting on the chair in the office and waiting to be called into the Principals office, I was just in the cut, watching him look like he was waiting for his death sentence..



As I was sitting down and watching everything progress. The principal called him into his office and I slipped into the office as he walked in there. Once we got into the office, he sat down and the principal and him started talking



“You have been being disrespectful lately, I can’t keep fighting for and standing up for you” said the Principal


“ I just .. I just don’t know.. I’m sorry” Trey


“ I’m sorry Trey.. but you’ve been expelled from Cedar Grove christian academy.”


As I was sitting in the background, I was thinking.. I didn’t know that I’ve gotten expelled from private school.. When I would ask about what middle school I went too, she told me that I went to Henry, she said that I transferred from some little school because I didn’t “fit in” whatever that meant. Was I always a bad child? I didn’t know what to do next.



I woke up the next morning wondering why I was going through these memories, it’s like I was jumping through. It seems like I’m getting my memory back.. every night I get a new memory every night and I get to re grow my past, to see why I’m the person I am today.. Ah man this is going to be a long ride.

Comments (13)

Nikki Adeli (Student 2015)
Nikki Adeli

I think your sci-fi aspect was really believeable since it derived from something real, the head injury. I was a thrown off a lot, due to the cursing, however, that being said, I think the cursing actually fit the person that was talking at the time so it wasn't as if you were writing curse words just to have them.

Anonymous

Wow. I really enjoyed this. I found myself laughing a lot at the Philly Street Slang that you used because of how well i could relate to it . I loved how his dreams are what helped him find out who he really was. You did a really good job with this story, and you didn't just drag it on and add unnecessary details.

Anonymous

Wow. I really enjoyed this. I found myself laughing a lot at the Philly Street Slang that you used because of how well i could relate to it . I loved how his dreams are what helped him find out who he really was. You did a really good job with this story, and you didn't just drag it on and add unnecessary details.

Anonymous

Wow. I really enjoyed this. I found myself laughing a lot at the Philly Street Slang that you used because of how well i could relate to it . I loved how his dreams are what helped him find out who he really was. You did a really good job with this story, and you didn't just drag it on and add unnecessary details.

Anonymous

Wow. I really enjoyed this. I found myself laughing a lot at the Philly Street Slang that you used because of how well i could relate to it . I loved how his dreams are what helped him find out who he really was. You did a really good job with this story, and you didn't just drag it on and add unnecessary details.

Anonymous

Wow. I really enjoyed this. I found myself laughing a lot at the Philly Street Slang that you used because of how well i could relate to it . I loved how his dreams are what helped him find out who he really was. You did a really good job with this story, and you didn't just drag it on and add unnecessary details.

Emily Jenson (Student 2015)
Emily Jenson

Also I don't really see the science fiction. Its normal for people with head injuries to lose and regain memories. It would've been cool if he had some procedure done to him at Church camp that would give him these visions. Still awesome though

Emily Jenson (Student 2015)
Emily Jenson

This reminded me a lot of Stephen King's books, how the mind can be so confusing and scary and mysterious. I think because you connected Trey to yourself, the character became a lot more realistic and relatable. Personally I think the cursing fits the narrative, Trey is angry and honestly just doesn't care. It would be weird if he didn't curse, I curse in my head all the time. Overall awesome I want to know more about the grandmother and her bitterness. Also I think the Dovi part could've been taken out, the extra love interest kind of distracted me from the plot, it would be awesome for a book, but i think it's just a bit much for a short story.

Alexa Eddy (Student 2015)
Alexa Eddy

his was really interesting! I can see you go back into his dreams and relive/resee them after you had lost them. I think this story could be super fantastic, but there is no science fiction. There is no explanation of why he goes back in time and that's what's confusing me. I can see that like, whoa he went back in time via-dream but why? Aside from that I love this story.

Sieanna Williams (Student 2015)
Sieanna Williams

I forgot to mention, I loooved the quote when you talked about the messed up family you had that you weren't sure if you loved them or not and that you'd "fine out when they die". I love that. It's always interesting to see in films and books a person realize how much they care about someone when it finally hits you that they're dead and gone forever. No matter how much you hate or love someone, your true feelings for them shows when they die.

Alexis Dean (Student 2015)
Alexis Dean

The science fiction is more than believable. People get lost in their dreams all the time. I personally enjoyed the story and how he got lost in his dreams. As well as being able to connect with it. There is a little too much cursing for me. However that is my opinion. The cursing helped connect the bad boy image the character was supposed to have and therefore it made complete sense of the placement. Good job!

Sieanna Williams (Student 2015)
Sieanna Williams

The science fiction is definitely believable. Many people lose their memories and have them come back to them in pieces, and in strange ways too. I was taken by the way you placed that into your story, Ron.

I think the story succeeded in the personal and natural thoughts of a young boy in his position.

I'm reflecting on my reaction to the story as I was reading it. I believe the profanity was too much, I personally do not like a lot of profanity in anything, even movies. I can't watch TED because the cursing is too much. But that's just my opinion. I think if this assignment asked for more than a short story, this could have turned out to be a very well, detailed and reflective book. Something many people can connect to.

Max Amar-Olkus (Student 2015)
Max Amar-Olkus

I think the science fiction aspect was his dreams? It seemed believable because of his head injury. I think this story succeeded in having realistic dialogue and following its storyline. I think it seems more like a script than a short story though. Otherwise, good work.