McCarthy Unabridged 'The Road,' Page 151

This is my interpretation of what might've been cut from Cormac McCarthy's The Road before the final edition of the novel was printed. 
~~~

He reached over to make sure the boy was still breathing, as he could only find reassurance in the gentle rise and fall of his chest. He counted each, as if it were the last thing he could do. His own were far too staggered, too protean, as the last phrase he uttered rang out in his mind.


What else could he possibly manage to lose? What else was worth losing in this world?


He had a purpose. To protect the only thing that held purpose to him. His own flesh and blood. But in the end, would it matter?


In that moment it happened, thoughts colliding too quickly, much like the rise and fall of his own breathing. He couldn’t keep doing this on his own. He was only one man. And he’d lost everything. She was gone. He was drifting away from the boy. His mind was losing him. And he couldn't take it anymore.


He couldn’t always keep looking over his shoulder. He couldn’t keep him safe, because he himself, wasn’t safe. There were dangers around every corner, but the biggest threat was his mind.  Maybe he should’ve taken his life right then and there. Let his son carry the fire. Things were too much and he was tired. He couldn’t always be the one looking out for everyone.


Looking down at the boy sleeping beside him, he felt himself tense.


I'm sorry I cant do more.  I know I'm not the best but I'm trying.

~~~

Below is the rationale to explain the choices I made for this project.


The Man is a very complex character. We don’t get to see how he’s thinking and feeling, considering the fact that he’s always focused on survival, and the safety of his son. There’s no time for him to think, because, in reality, there’s only one driving force in this world, being survival, and moving on, even if it seems impossible.

The connection to the plot comes in the form of foreshadowing. The man knows that without his help, he and his son will eventually die. The growing problem for him is being unable to predict what might happen next, because of how impossible it is to come to the next point. He’s scared, and he has no way of showing that, because he has to be the adult. The cycle continues, and the Man’s caught up between keeping himself and his son safe, while at the same time, trying to keep his sanity.

This follows through with the theme of survival. What sets apart the line between living and surviving? Should one’s mentality be a correct guideline? The easy answer depends on the person, but in this case, the Man’s physical survival literally meant the difference between life and death, which is why, in moments such as the one written, are hidden from the Boy. He can’t know that the world is finally breaking his father down. His father has to be strong and power, just as he sees it, regardless of the price it has.

Interestingly enough, the Man’s thoughts are constantly contained, and even the smaller bits we hear from his perspective, are very one-dimensional. His experiences have shown a very darker past than what meets the eye, and as he internalizes it, it makes the reader question what his actual motives are in this world, aside from the overall goal of making it out alive. The Man’s life is already challenging, we see this throughout the novel and through the choices he has to make, however, does he ever stop and try reflecting on what he’s done to bring him to certain points in his life? The Man is very complex, even at his highest points. That, however, doesn’t make him completely indestructible.


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