One World Vs. The Other

Introduction:​
When thinking about what I wanted to write for this essay, I was clueless. Writing an essay about yourself isn't so easy as it seems. I wanted to write something that was meaningful but different. I wanted to show people not everyone is different from each other as it seems. I feel that I really got my message across in this essay about how it doesn't matter about what others think. What matters is how we accept ourselves as the individuals we are even with all the negativity that can be portrayed on the culture we come from. In my next essay, my goal is to expand more on my ideas to give the readers a deeper understanding. 

Essay:

When I hear the word “culture,” I picture a big gathering of people all coming together to celebrate their similarities with one another. I see colors, lights, dancing, singing, rituals, etc. To me, it is something to cherish because it’s where you can find belonging. It’s where you have almost everything in common with the people surrounded by you. It’s home. I was sent out into the world where there wasn’t only my culture. There were hundreds more and it’s when I realized I won’t always belong wherever I go. Stereotypes are put on many cultures, putting people to shame about the culture they come from or are apart of. Being a part of two cultures is when things can get very complicated. I am stuck between the Puerto Rican culture and the American culture and it is like I am stuck between two worlds. Two worlds that cannot interfere, it is either one or the other or even sometimes neither. But I believe that there is a world where the two can coexist because both are who I am.

I love being Puerto Rican but being Puerto Rican in Philadelphia is completely different from being Puerto Rican in Puerto Rico. I pick and choose when I want to show the Hispanic side of me since it isn’t something that’s normal to people in Philadelphia. English is the main language and speaking another language is a “cool” thing when it’s really the same as knowing English. We all make each other feel so different just because we don’t come from the same culture or ethnicity or especially when not all of us are the same skin tone.

The stereotypical Puerto Rican is being “too ghetto” or “too loud.” In a way, I can see this being true but usually to me, it is taken as a joke until I notice it out in public.

“Mom, can you please stop?”

“Stop what? Come on Nani, lighten up.”

“But you are being loud, and you got people looking at us like we crazy.”

I look around after saying this and instantly see all the eyes that were on us. It was kind of awkward and uncomfortable because I do not like to attract attention to myself.

“Man f*** them, la gente son presentao (People are nosy). And that’s not my fault.”

“Ooooookay,” I said rolling my eyes. I can sometimes feed into the idea of the stereotypes. I try so hard to not seem like a stereotypical Puerto Rican, when deep inside I know I am not. I do not care about what others think but when it comes to being judged because of my race and culture is when I take it seriously. For this reason, I tend to change myself depending on where I am at.

The main character in The Hate You Give, Starr Carter, experiences the same feeling of what it is like being stuck between two worlds. The author, Angie Thomas, talks about Starr’s desire to fit in when she wrote: “That means flipping the switch in my brain so I’m Williamson Starr” (71). “Flipping the switch” is something I do a lot especially when being in a place that represents the definition of professionalism or being somewhere where someone considers me as a stranger. “Flipping the switch” is like changing your whole demeanor. Many people say I tend to give off the idea that I am always mad or upset so in a way I try to do the opposite by changing my facial expressions and giving good first impressions. We all want to be viewed or noticed a certain way when in reality it won’t always work that way. In some situations, people can be seen as the target depending on where they’re from or what they look like and at times I can feel like this person.

Being around my family is when I don’t have to worry about how my culture affects anyone else, but this changes when I visit Puerto Rico. The people in Puerto Rico are much different than the Puerto Ricans here in Philadelphia. Since Philadelphia is filled with so many other cultures, I tend to shut myself out from my culture so people will see me and not my culture. In Puerto Rico, I don’t have to do this since everyone is mostly the same over there but it’s when I feel out of place or an outsider because I am not from Puerto Rico. I am from America and a part of the American culture. They have different traditions that I never learned or heard of and I speak more English than Spanish. Knowing more English is where I feel out of place the most, especially with family around my age.

Ta-Nehisi Coates, author of Between the World & Me has similar experiences to my life with the people around his age. He tries to understand a series of ideas he has developed about his body and the generation he comes from by saying: “Now I felt the deeper weight of my generational chains” (124). He digs deeper and understands why these “generational chains” have such a significant meaning. The generations we come from, are apart of our identity. We all want to feel accepted by the people we’ve grown up with and can relate to the most. When we don’t feel comfortable around these people, we can often tend to question who we are and our belonging. I remember speaking to one of my cousins and she did not know any English. I was able to communicate with her to the point where we can both understand each other pretty well. After our conversation, it really hit me that I don’t fit in as much there as I do here in Philadelphia. It made me feel good about where I’m from but also put me in the position that it doesn’t matter what culture I am apart of.

Being a part of two cultures can make someone wonder who they really are as a person. Being aware of the person I am can help me rely more on myself. I listen to my own opinions more often than others. I have an inner connection with both of my cultures that I have learned to use as an advantage, like being able to communicate with people who speak both english and spanish. I’m learning to fight the stereotypes that are chasing after me. I am learning to accept myself for the person I am and not care about those around me. I am learning to live in a world where both of my cultures coexist with each other and not having to shut one or the other out. Knowing who I am is a relief because I know how to face the challenges of who I am when the time comes. I know me.


Macbeth: Into The Modern Age

I worked with Fudayl Hopkins. http://​scienceleadership.org/people/fhopkins22 


Our Macbeth creative project is about the both of us pretending we are filmmakers who want to pitch our idea for a PG-13 modernised adaptation of Macbeth. We chose the idea because we like movies and it’s interesting to come up with an idea for that and think of how The Tragic Story of Macbeth would have played out if it was released now which is the reason for our title, Macbeth: Into the Modern Age.
 The plot is how Macbeth works at a big company and he’s always wanted to be president of it. When 3 fortune tellers come and predict that he will become president of the company, with the help of his wife and his vaulting ambition he becomes convinced to kill President Duncan so he can become president automatically since no one else could president on short notice.
We chose only three important scenes from the play to adapt. There are choices that we changed from the play because it could never happen now like for example if Macduff just killed Macbeth he would go to jail. This project shows our understanding of the play because as long as you get the general message of the play across you can adapt Macbeth into anything. Even having the main cast animals in an animated film. Our script shows our understanding of the characters in how they would talk today and that was inspired from their personality. The real life actors we chose to play the characters also reflects our understanding of the characters. We like to think of our project still as the Tragic Story of Macbeth but it’s from a 2019 or 2020 perspective as if Macbeth was written in 2019 without changing the characters’ name or personalities.
Screenshot 2019-01-17 at 9.42.01 AM
Screenshot 2019-01-17 at 9.42.01 AM

Finding me

​Intro: This essay is about finding my true identity. I struggle with two identities my school identity was agreeing with everything. Monkey see, Monkey do whatever you like I like. My school identity was not really me and it would spill over into the house which caused conflicts. I start off with a reflection of a scene that paints a picture in the reader's head and gives you an idea of the environment I was in. 

Sweat drips, drips, drips when I walk into my new class. My legs are shaking to the point where I can’t lift them up to walk so I drag them. Once I walk in and I’m met with 19 unfamiliar faces. Left, right, left, right. The teacher points to my seat, I go to my seat without an answer. I’m next to a blonde haired kid with thick glasses. He introduced himself as Aaron disregarding the teacher talking in the front of the classroom. I introduce my self. Aaron saw I was the only black fifth-grade kid, and he asks a question: “ Since your dark do you taste like chocolate?” before I could process this question I turn around to a tongue to my left cheek. Aaron licked me to see if I tasted like chocolate. I knew then that I would have to figure out who I was as a person. 

  My mom went to law school in Harrisburg and attended Penn State University. That means we had to move from Philadelphia. I didn’t really care because I was in second grade but I was also unaware of the possibility that the move would change my identity and make me veer away from my culture. Beast of The Southern Wild it shows, Hushpuppy and her people were taken from there way of living. Hushpuppy was use to catching their food and going out into the wilderness to a place where they were contained inside all day. It was a big change from Philadelphia. We went from a big city to a small town named Carlisle. Carlisle was so small, everything was next to everything.  



“ The self that I attempted to take out into the world was rejected over and over again and my panic at not having a self that fit and the confusion that came from myself being rejected created anxiety and shame”  This quote was stated  from Thandie Newton an actress. I tried to give the real me to the world and it seemed the world didn’t want to accept my real self. I dealt with this by changing the way I spoke, the way I laughed, and even the stuff I used to like I would change them to other things.  For three years I didn't have any diversity which changed my identity at home. All my friends were white there was no variety in my school which I think every kid needs. My grandma would cook some Spanish food and I wanted some cheeseburgers and half the time I didn’t like Spanish food because I couldn´t understand why my friends weren´t eating that type of food. I felt like I couldn´t be my true self in middle school at all. 

One question that I look back on, is when did I start reclaiming my true identity?  I didn’t start finding my true identity until I moved out of Carlisle. Carlisle was made for a small town and farm raised a family. We were a city family. So my mom and I moved after she graduated and I didn’t want to move because I was already comfortable. When I moved I finally experienced diversity where I was with all kinds of races which lead me to communicate and have more things in common with some of the kids and that's what started to bring out my true identity.                                                                                          

In conclusion, I always think you're a product of your environment. I had an Uncle that went to Jail for three years of his life and he was never the same. Jail changed him in ways I don’t even know today. Imagine going to your family everyday eating what you want, sleeping when you want, go outside to being told what to do at 40 years old. My Uncle had to adjust just like I had to when I moved back from Carlisle to Philadelphia. I wasn’t the same person coming back it took time to adjust to my environment and know I can proudly say I found my true identity and I’m proud of the journey I took to find my identity.  

Scotland High by Iris Peron-Ames Josie DiCapua

In order to demonstrate our understanding of the play Macbeth, we chose to create a mockumentary-type film, following the efforts of the yearbook committee as they interviewed the students of their school.  These students were all characters from Macbeth, and the project thus allowed us to take a deeper look at the characters themselves. By including the interviews, we were not only able to reflect the soliloquies and such from the play, but it also allowed us to predict what the characters would have been like in a modern school environment. This demonstrated our understanding of the text and the characters as we had to mold the speech, the actions, and even the body language of those in the film based off of the play. We also created a few yearbook pages to reflect the video and the characters. The yearbook depicts the graduating class of 1022, which is both a reference to the year that we will graduate, 2022, but would also have been the year that the characters would have been seventeen or eighteen years old. In addition, on each of the pages, we chose to add a small symbol that would represent each character. For instance, for Banquo’s page, a ghost was added. This is both echoing the supernatural theme throughout the play, but is also due to Banquo’s presence as a ghost that haunts Macbeth. We also picked quotes from the text for the majority of the characters, to show the reasoning behind the selected character traits.

The purpose of this project was to take a closer look at the characters in Macbeth, and to use the text to apply their characters to a more relatable setting. The film follows the work of the Scotland High yearbook committee. In order to gather the information needed to create the yearbook, they conduct a series of interviews on all the students of the school. The yearbook is a compilation of the information gathered in the interviews. It not only records the information gathered, but also provides a deeper look into what their personality is meant to be like, and shows some of the evidence supporting these conclusions is from in the quotes.


Here is our video: Scotland High


Here is a link to Iris's page (My project partner)


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Advanced Essay #2: Social Class in the Classroom

​Introduction: My advanced essay #2 is about the effect of social class in the classroom. The effect it can leave on children can be long lasting and very impactful. Feeling like you are being judged by your peers can dramatically effect the way you learn and the way one grows as a person. I am proud of the points and opinions I take a stand on in this essay. For my next paper, I would like to improve on leaving notes fro myself while writing my paper of things I can improve on or just good point from discussions with peers I would like to include. 


Social Class In the Classroom


Part of growing up is finding where you belong amongst the people around you. Many children experience this first through school. As a child, most of the time you are categorized in a classroom by your social class. Once you get to a certain age, the other kids around you begin to realize where your from and whether your family comes from money or not. Then, for many people, you get judged for having, or not having money like the other children around you. I had this experience in grade school. Many of the children around me were much wealthier than I was and it definitely affect the way I learned in the environment. Teachers often tend to tune out when it comes to social class even though small things like these can powerfully impact a young person’s life.

In many instances, we see people push aside social class as an issue in classroom scenarios. Race and religion are the main focus of many people’s concerns with equality in the classroom. In an article written by Adj Marshal, he discusses the effect of bringing social class into the classroom and touches on how the weight of this on children is sometimes overlooked. He says, “Compared with race or gender, class is less obviously inscribed on the body and more poorly understood, with more gray areas and fewer shared terms for social categories, making identity development a slower and more fraught process.” In many cases social class is a large part of a child’s identity, so not making it a larger part of the discussion in the classroom, like Marshall says, it could potentially damage a child’s image of themself.

Personally, I have had social class affect me negatively in a classroom environment. I was in the second grade when I realized my peers were not raised the same way I was. I attended a private school on a partial scholarship while my mom had to scrape pennies to pay the other end of my tuition. Meanwhile, many of my classmates never had to worry about not being able to go to school the next month because their parents couldn’t meet the tuition deadline, or if they would be able to pay for the newest pair of uniform shoes.  They took these things for granted. The day after after winter break I walked into class wearing my new winter coat that my mom had just bought me for Christmas. All of the other children were sitting playing on their new Nintendo DSI’s that they had received over the break. One of the kids asked, “Louisa, where is your DSI? Don’t you wanna play with us?” I didn’t know how to reply at first. As the nervousness settled into me, I said, “I didn’t get one for Christmas, I got this new coat instead.” Just as I could get the words out of my mouth another kid said, “She didn’t get one because she’s poor.” Immediately, the tears streamed to my eyes. The feeling of shame and embarrassment welled through me as the other kids just stared.

This is an important point to be noted not only because the children used this as a form of bullying, but because it made me feel uncomfortable to participate in the class. Social class is much more important than it is viewed as by most teachers. In an article on social class in the classroom, written by journalist Meghan Smith, she discusses a series of tests performed on a class of children to prove the effect of social and economical class on children. When discussing the results of one of the tests she says, “This can lead to students in lower social classes, or with lower familiarity with a task, to perform even worse than they would have. In other words, highlighting performance gaps with no explanation for the gap can make the gap even wider!” The gap she refers to is that of the gap between children in different social classes. Even though children don’t quite understand what kind of stress and embarrassment child of a lower class feels.

Even though social class is generally looked over now, in the future teachers should be more aware and even create an approach to avoid tension in the classroom. A good solution may be to begin teaching children about social and economic classes from a younger age so that they will have the information they need before they judge someone.  Teaching young children about social class could also allow them to view the world around them in different ways and avoid them creating future prejudices. Social class is something that causes children to learn differently and feel uncomfortable in some learning environments, but it never should be. My hope for the future is that someone will break the chain, so that children will never have to feel too embarrassed to learn.


  

Advanced Essay 2 + Zeniah Navas

Introduction: 
My essay is based on the craze of Instagram. How instagram is shaping men and women to believe that they have to be in a certain catergory to fit. It's a hole that people get sucked in for hours trying to find different ways to change themselves or be popular. I'm going to prove how it's not only all good that we see from the outside. This essay touches on teens who are looking at those Instagram Famous people and thinking negatively of themselves. Now, I am not innocent of this either which is why it touches a special place in my heart. I am confident. Be you. Thank you.

Essay: How to Become Instagram Famous 101. 
How to Become Instagram Famous 101.  Step 1: Look at what other famous people are doing. Step 2: Change your wardrobe to match the fashion craze. Step 3: No matter what you do, do not give up your front. These are steps are all, but none to finding your identity. The pill people have a hard time swallowing is how much we allow categories to define us as well. Just as in social media. While we scroll, swipe, or post, we fail to realize how we are also categorized others on social media as well. The more followers, the more likes, the more popularity, and the more steps to trail away from your true self.
Step 1: Look at what other famous people are doing. Celebrities have thousands, sometimes millions of followers for being famous and known outside of their social medias. With the value that we put into social media, people often become famous in it. There’s relationship goals that become viral and with the couple gaining thousands of followers. For example, Chris and Queen, they began posting small clips of their relationship that then went viral. Them going viral allowed them to create a Youtube channel and gain income from it. They went from lower, to middle, to upper class in months. Now, Queen is a star-singer with lots of recognition around the U.S with her income flowing. This idea of becoming famous from social media created the term Instagram Famous. Instagram is a social media app that is allowing people to do things to become famous.
Step 2: Change your wardrobe to fit the fashion craze. Find celebrities, find models on what are they wearing, where are they shopping, and what stores are tagged in their post. All of this matters. Not only does this tie into what they're wearing, but also on how much they're spending on their clothes. Typically, we see this more touched on females. Women believe that to be accepted they have to have the latest fashion, the latest shoes, their hair has to be on a certain type of criteria, and their bodies as well. Being natural is not always accepted. Yes it may be accepted from time to time, but that's not what the craze is about. It’s not what Instagram has told us is accepted. 
Thandie Newton gives a Ted Talk on how she attempted to be open on who she was while being a teen: “The self that I attempted to take out into the world was rejected over and over again. And my panic at not having a self that fit, and the confusion that came from myself being rejected, created anxiety, shame and hopelessness, which kind of defined me for a long time. But in retrospect, the destruction of myself was so repetitive that I started to see a pattern” (Thandie Newton, Ted Talk). As she says, people weren’t always accepted as themselves. Since social media is such a large part in society, it pressures people more to change. Just to obtain likes, people change their personalities and even alter their wardrobe or physical appearance to gain. 
Step 3: No matter what you do, do not give up your front. Now began 6th grade. I’m a pre-teen now. I’m growing up and getting more privileges. Hence came social media. 
“Be careful with what you post. Don’t stick out your tongue. Don’t show too much,” the lecture goes on from my parents. 
I shrugged them off as any normal pre-teen would. It was my time to shine and show myself. Little did I know that the world would be watching. I saw older girls posting pictures with prerogative poses; butt on sink, shirt down just enough to see boob separation, etc. When you’re a young girl, you believe doing what the older girls are doing will make boys like you more and there I went. Post after post, like after like, now the followers came. The increase in followers increased my confidence. I thought that with boys telling me I was beautiful that I was the best of them all. 
“No matter what you do, do not give up your front,” my best friend told me.
With the years going on and my maturity level continuing to increase, I realized that I had to subtly show I wasn’t the little girl I once was. I wasn’t looking for boys to like me anymore, now I was just me. With the confidence I had already gained, it was easier to know that I was going to be accepted. No matter what I did, I did not let others know my front.
Thandie Newton continues her Ted Talk and states, “It's more a reality than the ones our selves have created. Imagine what kind of existence we can have if we honor inevitable death of self, appreciate the privilege of life and marvel at what comes next. Simple awareness is where it begins” (Thandie Newton, Ted Talk).  The idea of us having to address what we love the most is what’s holding us back. Social media, especially Instagram, haYove ties into our day to day lives that going against it or what it holds would be wrong. Regardless of who is in reality knows you, the world that is watching may have a different perception. The concept she throws out of it being more a reality is chilling. It’s what we believe is truth. If Instagram said it, it’s true. If Twitter said it, it’s true.
Instagram is not going to give you money to find yourself. That’s not how it was created. Instagram does not have emotions floating around so that it can have sympathy with you. You will be who you are or be who you’re not, no ifs ands or buts around it. Now I am not saying being instagram famous is negative or there aren’t people who aren’t their true selves. In reality, it’s a sacrifice. Whether to be accepted for yourself is the choice.

the Death of King Duncan



 When ​
Nyree Newton and I worked on the Macbeth project we were trying to find a more intriguing way for viewers to read Macbeth. That being said, we were hoping that our project would allow readers to find Act 1 Scene 3 easier to understand and would have fun reading. For our project, we created a comic strip that showed the scene of King Duncan deaths.

  In the scene, Macbeth is told three prophecies. They consisted of becoming Thane of Cawdor, Thane of Glamis and eventually become King. Macbeth thought that the witches were lying and he had high doubts. Eventually, one of the prophecies came true. He became Thane of Cawdor, which then gave him hope. Too much hope causing him to rush his prophecies which eventually ended with blood being shed and bodied being dead.

To reenact this scene Nyree and I found a website that helped us make the comic strip. The website is Storyboard Creation. It let use have lady Macbeth and Macbeth go through their plan to kill king Duncan. Storyboard really helped me and Nyree make a good project. You should use use Storyboard to make your next comic strip





 

Advanced Essay #2: Success for Muslim women

Introduction:

The purpose of my essay is to connect my own personal scene of memory with an outside source. I chose to write about this topic so I can be able advise Muslim girls that we can be able to fit into society and become successful like everyone else. I am proud of my quote analysis because I related it to myself. I followed a format taught in class which helped me to improve. From writing this essay I learned many new creative techniques; how to analyze quotes, and how to connect with outside sources. I want to improve my essay by being more descriptive and by focusing more on a specific event.


Hijab, is something that most Americans had questions about. Everyone would ask me what is the hijab, why do you wear it, what is the purpose. I loved answering these questions because being able to explain  the significance of this headscarf made me feel proud. On the other hand, there were always ignorant people that were rude and asked me, “Do you even have hair under that? How are you not hot?” Different emotions would run in and out of my head. As I put on a fake cheerful smile on my face hiding all the anger,  I would take a deep breath and be respectful like what my mother taught me and I answer, “I wear this for god not to cover my bald head. In fact, I have a lot of natural, real, long, thick hair.” I would always describe what my hair looks to give them a visual picture of it

Most people would sit there in shock. I loved leaving people shocked and I loved emphasizing how real and natural my hair is. The satisfaction inside of me felt surreal. If only people understood what the hijab represented. I would keep asking myself, why couldn’t it be taught in schools these people need to understand and respect other people’s culture. “Forget Samera you teach them,” I told myself. I tried to remove this envy inside of me and started to thoroughly and passionately explain to them about my hijab, what it represent, how this is who I am, and I love it, instead of bragging about my hair. By doing this brought light into my heart and slowly turned my fake smile into real emotion.

These kinds of questions most frequently happened in school. The school was the hardest place for me to find a way to fit in. I’ve always asked myself why is this so difficult. My personality isn’t bad, I am a nice person. As the years passed by my knowledge started to grow. I started to realize why people would rather be around other girls than a hijabi Muslim. It had nothing to do with my personality, it was all about my identity, the stereotypes, what people saw first, my hijab.

In 7th grade, during history class, I was told that I’m going to be a terrorist when I grow up. I didn’t say anything to stand up for myself. The pain from hearing those words caused me to have a breakdown in class. When your fellow classmate says negative comments to you about your identity makes you feel bad about who you are. It made me lose hope in becoming a doctor, I started to think well now it just looks like I am going to be an ordinary housewife nothing more than that.

Another time was when I was in the park. I was with my siblings when a lady burst out of nowhere and yelled, “go back to your country.” The anger built up inside me and I just wanted to yell, “how the hell am I supposed to go back if I am already in my country.” Instead, I stayed calm and ignored but deep down my siblings and I were terrified. These words that were said to me caused me a lot of emotional and mental pain. It made me realize that I am nothing in this country people would never acknowledge my success because of my religious background.

Being a Muslim woman in America is extremely difficult. This is because the society and the media have built these hateful stereotypes. For example, Muslims are known to be terrorists, women are trapped and are meant to be in the kitchen. This causes young students emotional pain. Not just me but everyone. People set low expectations for us, gives us fewer opportunities to become the best. Societies expectations and negativity not only shut us down from great success but also affects us personally. Most Muslim women who want to be successful are afraid to be judged by society.

Halima Aden, the first hijab-wearing fashion model, explains in a Ted Talk about not being afraid to make herself visible: “It’s about using yourself as a vessel to create change and being a human representation for the power of diversity.” The significant idea Halima demonstrates about taking risks and changes and how this is what being a minority is about. Putting yourself out there making a change is a way to make a difference in society.  This quote exemplifies that the hijab isn’t just a piece of clothing that stops Muslim girls to become something successful. It is a way for me to show other people that I am more than just a regular Muslim girl that won’t be able to do anything in life. I am someone just like everyone else; achieving dreams and exceeding societies expectations that are set for me.

It all started to grow in me and affected me. Not being able to fit in, being pushed around because I am a small Muslim girl. Negativity surrounded my head. I’ve started to follow people’s footsteps to satisfy myself and them. It wasn’t just the hijab stopping me it was also the stereotypes that people used that stopped themselves from getting to know me.

Amal Kassir, a Muslim pre-law student, explains in a Ted Talk about what society portrays of her: “On the news, it’s ISIS, Jihadi, suspect, radical, my name is could your Muslim neighbor be an extremist.” Amal explains how hard a Muslim woman works for success but at the end of the day to society think you are nothing. This is because of what the news, social media, and the society depict of Muslims. This quote exemplifies that society has a way to put Muslims down. The stereotypes toward us have had an effect on me

This society has a fixed mindset that Muslim Women are meant to “obey” men and are nothing more than housewives imprisoned in their home with children. Halima Aden and Amal Kassir are two role models that represent all Muslim Women. They proved to society that Muslim women are capable of being successful in life. They justify that we are just like everyone else and have a right to be able to step into the American society and carry on success and better change.  

All these negativity toward Muslims causes us to go down and think negatively. It puts us in the wrong mindset and makes us wonder, what is the point of even trying if others are always going to overpower us. I want to prove everyone wrong and show them hijabi Muslims are much more than what society has fixed for us.


Advanced Essay #2: A False Identity

Introduction: 
The purpose of this advanced essay was to combine creative components (scene of memory) with analytical components to create a piece analyzing a moment of your life. For this essay, I decide to write about my eighth grade experience, and the feeling of having a false identity to "fit in." 
Through this essay, I was learn the writing technique of properly writing a creative piece with thorough analysis while finding the balance between the two. I am proud of my quotes and analysis, which strongly connect to the topic. I also am proud of my quote integration. I used the context-quote-analysis format to the best of my ability, which helped the essay have good transition. 
Next quarter, I want to focus on creating better descriptive scenes. I want to focus on being descriptive without having to create a list of everything that happens.

Essay (A False Identity):

The beginning of eighth grade was a stressful period. I was ready to graduate, but I also wanted to perform well. Every year, our school would split the group of 80 students between four different advisors. I was given the advisor I had hoped to receive, which made me even more excited to start the school year. The previous few years I had spent at that school were a large period of discovery. Since I was still considered a new student, I was struggling to come to terms with my identity and personality, so I often attempted to hide these qualities to be more liked. This year, I wanted to show more of my true self.

When I first saw my classroom, I immediately noticed that the room was spacious. Desks were lined into columns which made it easier to move throughout the area. However, I could not focus on examining the room because my concentration shifted to my classmates. They all had wide smiles plastered on their faces, but their nervous eyes revealed their insecurity. We were all afraid to begin a new year, despite eighth grade being regarded as an easy experience.

Throughout the next few months, the class environment was extremely positive. Since the entire student body was focused on graduating, there was little drama and a large amount of kindness. Because of this, I began to feel more optimistic. I was able to act the way I wanted and still feel like I was fitting in. I was confident that things would stay this way until the end of the year.

Eventually, the class became more restless. The days until graduation felt like they were increasing. As a result, the environment speedily shifted from constructive and accepting to negative and cold. The friendliness disappeared. False identities began to fade, revealing true colors. Meanwhile, my identity hid behind the same false one from years back. I was afraid of the consequences of my identity, as students were belittled for having personality traits similar to mine. I thought that changing to fit the school’s new norms would make me happier.

As the year progressed, I wrestled with the idea of having to lie about myself. I was unable to realize if I felt truly happy or not. I was still making friends because of my false identity, but at the cost of my character. Despite this, I still pushed my new self. To many, the idea of having a fake identity is reassuring because it is a survival tactic. However, the human desire to create false identities creates an imbalance between the real and the false characteristics. Real identities become altered by artificial personality traits.

In F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby, the main character, Jay Gatsby, lies about his identity to fit in with richer society. He dons a new name and alters his entire past to create a new personality for himself. Further in the book, this new identity is exposed as a front, and the narrator, Nick, discusses Gatsby’s lies with the reader. He claims that “Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that’s no matter…” (The Great Gatsby, 180) Throughout the story, the green light is constantly utilized as a representation of Gatsby’s hopes. He chases after his hope because it allows him to feel fulfilled. Growing up in a poor family, Gatsby always dreamed of fitting in with the upper class. Thus, he lies about his identity to connect to those he thought he had a relation to, as he had always been chasing an high-class life. However, this desire becomes maleficial to Gatsby. He is viewed as an entirely different person from his past self because of his constant attempts to alter his character. Thus, Gatsby’s change in identity allowed him to fit in at a cost of losing parts of his prior self.

Like Gatsby, I began to realize I was acting differently, even when talking to teachers or at home. This insincere personality was beginning to affect my life in major ways. I was disconnected from others and myself. Impoliteness became a regularity; apathy made me seem compelling. I would pretend I was uninterested in conversations for a few laughs. I would sit in my same classroom, but it felt different. The space became limited and the room felt smaller. In an attempt to fit into my environment, I had lost my identity.

From this point onward, I struggled to redeem my true identity. I worked constantly to remove new negative habits. I attempted to connect with classmates who were willing to be themselves. I changed my manners at home and with teachers. I was afraid to be remembered as a person I did not want to become.

In the film Beasts of the Southern Wild, Hushpuppy, a child who lives with her father, experiences life in an uninhabited area. While Hushpuppy describes her life, she tells the listeners that she is “recording [her] story for the scientists in the future.” She then tells us that “in a million years, when kids go to school, they gonna know: once there was a Hushpuppy, and she lived with her daddy in The Bathtub” (Beasts of the Southern Wild, Released 27 June, 2012). In this quote, Hushpuppy is showing the human need to be remembered for our identity. She wants to be remembered as Hushpuppy from The Bathtub, and not an unnamed child from an unknown place. Hushpuppy’s desire to be remembered stems from her living conditions. She was afraid of being forgotten because she inhabited a closed off society. There are no scientists in her community, proving that her fear is real. The creator of the movie uses Hushpuppy’s struggle to represent society’s fear of not being known by those outside of their community.

In this instance, I felt like Hushpuppy. I was afraid that I would be forgotten, and forget myself, because I was not showing my identity to those around me. I was closed off from the rest of my class because I feared that I would not be remembered for my character. I created a fake one to counteract this, which eventually made me fear being remembered as somebody I was not.

By the end of the school year, I was able to reestablish who I was. The students I attempted to connect with became close friends, and I passed through the last weeks of school confident in myself and my new relationships. By graduation, I was excited for high school. Instead of putting on a facade, I hoped to create genuine connections by not losing my individuality again.




Advanced Essay #2: Be Lost

Introduction: The purpose of my essay is to share the idea that people need to be lost to learn how not to become lost again. From this experience, not only will people find themselves anew but they will discover new options, opinions, point of views, information, and beliefs that can help them make choices of their own. Their new understanding of what used to confuse them will guide them away from the hole that they once knew and into the world as a better self. 

One thing I am proud of in this essay is that I can truly share what I feel when it came to my scene of memory. My self-discovery is self-love and writing it in a essay made me believe in it even more. 

One way I want to improve my writing technique for my next paper is to have a clearer analysis. I don't want to keep repeating the same ideas but rather learn how to expand on them. 

My Essay: Be Lost

At some point in our lives, we go through a difficult phase. A phase where we don’t know who we are or why we matter, a phase of questioning our existence and motivation to keep progressing. This phase doesn’t creep up on us and, it can really hurt from where it began. Losing a loved one, dreams crushed, failure, poor health, pain, stress; the list goes on for eternity. It hits us just like a snap of a finger and we had no way of knowing.

When we are lost, we have no feelings, we have no opinion, we are empty. A clean slate. One may think this could be the worst thing in the world because it doesn’t make you human. Thandie Newton had a TED talk on the value or non-value of having a “self.” She quoted, “I always wondered why I could feel others' pain so deeply, why I could recognize the somebody in the nobody. It's because I didn't have a self to get in the way. I thought I lacked substance and the fact that I could feel others' meant that I had nothing of myself to feel. The thing that was a source of shame was actually a source of enlightenment.” If you have no feelings, you’re perceived as damaged, but this is an advantage in life because we get to see and learn more. Newton was able to see others’ emotions and understand them because she was lost. It’s “a source of enlightenment” where we can discover new things in our lives. Being lost is like not having an identity and no identity means no judgment. You can see all the options from the different point of views and from there, you can make choices of your own.

An example of someone who feels like they have no identity is Ta-Nehisi Coates, the author of Between the World and Me. In his book, he talks about how school was one of the ways that made him lost. As stated by Coates, “I did not master the schools, because I could not see where any of it could possibly lead” (115). In many cases, students wonder when the information they are given will apply to the real world hence Coates stating “I could not see where any of it could possibly lead.” The idea of not knowing what to do leads to the sense of one being lost because they do not understand the purpose of it all. He became lost because he was confused about the options that were just handed to him.

But this is where Coates was able to see everything as it is. At first, he believed that the world was cruel for people of color like himself and that it was almost entirely impossible to change that. However, when he was lost, he was able to discover more  opinions that he hadn’t thought about. He observed how people like himself and people who are completely different from him behaved. He saw individuality, selfishness, fear, confidence, and much more. Through this, he was able to re-accept himself in his own ways while understanding the choices and behaviors of others even if he doesn’t agree with them. From understanding more of what confused him , Coates was able to grow more as a person and still have the advantage of an open mind.

Times when I went through this dark phase was when I’ve lost people who I thought couldn’t live without. I’ve had a recent experience of being lost when I was peeling green beans. I was annoyed by the task but it didn’t matter because I had to help cook if I wanted to eat. My mother walked towards me as she walked out of the kitchen. “What happened to Nasir? You guys haven’t been talking much lately,” she asked concerningly but casually.

“Nothing happened,” I responded monotony. I blanked out because I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t thinking about him before but now I am, which  put me in an off mood. She continued to ask me random questions that I didn’t know the answers to. Did I do this, did he do that, did he get a new girlfriend, did you guys fight? I didn’t really know why or what happened. I already accepted that it was okay for humans to change their feelings, but I questioned why it was always them to change their minds. Was it me? Was I not enough or am I just someone who eventually becomes unwanted? It was my third time going through a relationship and they all ended the same way.

But now looking back, I can prove myself wrong. I discovered that for me, love from another person is never enough because true love comes within. Other people may need someone to show them love but, it’s different for me. I only looked at love in one direction, one image, one meaning, one way but the state of being lost showed me otherwise. It forced me to open the doors that were behind me, the doors that I ignored and found unappealing. But the new doors were what I was missing. They were the perspectives that I had never even thought about yet they were the ones that I learned the most from. I picked and chose what I didn’t like and what I do like. I chose me.

Life hits us like a snap of a finger because it’s carving the right path to ourselves. It forces us to be at our worst so we can discover what makes us feel best. But the idea of being lost has more purpose than to smash us down and then rebuild. It’s to break down the walls that narrow our horizon of the things we ignore and don’t know, and then rebuild. The state of the lost phase is truly when we can become the better versions of ourselves because not only can we find ourselves again but we can also understand others. Understanding other beliefs, opinions, thoughts and ideas more will prevent ourselves from becoming lost again.  


Advanced Essay #2: Disability doesn't define you

​Introduction
The purpose of my essay is to inform people that having a disability does not define you. It makes you stand out from others in society. I am very proud of my thoughts in my essay. I was very passionate when writing each and every word. To improve my writing process I would work on connecting my ideas so they match up. Also i would make the flow of my essay makes sense.


Disability doesn't define you

People with disabilities tend to stand out more than others. In today's world people are quick to judge and talk about you. They assume you are incapable of doing everyday things. We are doubted the minute we step outdoors. The most annoying thing is the stares, whispers, and gossip. I experience this everyday. Having a disability will always be challenging. They can shape me into the person I am today.

Often times people tell me your beautiful. When I am outside there are people with ugly stares and rude comments. The comments are basically dismissing me. They see a disabled girl and automatically believe she doesn't belong here. Nicola griffith once said “ it took me years to feel the sting of nondisabled peoples dismissal”. Everyone has the thought of not being wanted. At times i say I am a burden to my family. Always having to ask for help is annoying for them at times. Even if they don't say it I know they think it.      

Sometimes it is hard to accept that I am pretty even with a disability. Trying to brush off the stares and, gossip the minute I walk outside is hard. In December I dealt with an incident with stares and gossip and let those people get the best of me. I went to church with my mom and siblings. A group of students from her job were performing “he's able”. After service we attended a mini art show. One of the choir boys looked at me and continued staring at me. Then he told his friend to do the same thing. The first boy whispered he’s scared of me to his friend. I pretended to not care and walked away. Unfortunately, the boys found me again and asked “are you ok”. Again I walked away, this time was different though. I started crying and let my emotions get the best of me.

Shortly after this incident I was reminded of my worth. My friend told me “ You were made to stand out and be different, and you are great and beautiful just the way you are”. This helped me feel better about who I am as a person. I knew my true beauty with my disability included.  Nowadays, I try to not let what people think of me affect me. The more I don't care about what people think, the more I begin to love myself. I have accepted that life will always be a challenge. However I will stay true to myself no matter what people say.

As a disabled person, we choose to either be a victim or live our life to the fullest. I watched a buzzfeed video titled Always live your best life !. In the video she says “ you can conquer everything that they told you couldn't do and be out here winning”.  Having a condition does not mean your exempt from being your best yourself. You are pretty and special just like every other human being. We are able to do things we have always wanted to do. Also we have our own way of doing things.

In our society people like to categorize each other. They singlehandley group people together and label them. Disabled people are silently judged all their life.  We get the ugly stares, gossip about our looks. People are not mature enough to ask about why we look this way. Instead they judge us and believe we are unable to be pretty without looking like everyone else. As a community we should be more welcoming to compliment one another. Especially anyone who stands out and has a disability. We are not exempt just because we have a disability. However we tend to stand out more than others.

Some people may see disability as a weakness. Its like society thinks less of us because we have a condition. When people whisper and stare they do it for enjoyment. I pretend to do my best to ignore them. Ignoring them helps me become a stronger person. My confidence within myself grows after each stare and comment. Nobody should be singled out because they look different. When we categorize ourselves it gives people the power to single us out.

Having a disability does not mean your less prettier than someone else. Your disability will always a part of you. Never forget your true beauty no matter what you experience. Each little annoying stare and gossip will  make you greater. Every incident I endured was for the greater good. Those incidents gave me power to know my true worth.


Advanced Essay #2: My Journey to Self Acceptance

Introduction

The purpose of my essay is to explore the impact of identity labels, and the significance they have for individuals in the process of self-discovery. There is also a focus on the role that community plays in self-acceptance. The communication of these concepts was accomplished through recalling my personal journey to understanding and accepting my gender identity. Within this essay, I feel that one of my strengths was integrating a metaphor that supports my main point. I used the idea of a journey to represent the process of self discovery, and a canyon as a metaphor for the barrier between living without a sense of self and existing within a community as an individual defined on their own terms. It serves to define the vast difference between self-realization and self-acceptance. Additionally, I am proud of my success in completing tasks on time. In my next paper, I will challenge myself to clearly establish my main point earlier on in the process. Additionally, I would like to work towards communicating my ideas in a more concise and powerful manner.


Advanced Essay #2: My Journey to Self Acceptance

For much of my life, I never bothered to reflect on who I was. I accepted what other people told me about my identity, whether I liked it or not. I assumed that any individual’s identity was not self-discovered, but was determined by those around that individual. However, I have learned that my identity, and the process of existing as my truest self, belongs entirely to me.  I will not sacrifice my sense of self just to appease society, nor to lessen the resistance I face as a result of my existence and expression of self.

For the past several years, I have gone through an exploration of and acceptance of my genderqueer identity. The first time I thought about it is a memory from when I was in 8th grade. The moment when I learned what the word cisgender meant, something clicked for me. In conversation with a friend, the word came up. I asked what it meant. “Cisgender refers to anyone who identifies as the gender they were born as. That's you and me,” my friend explained. My brain instantly went, “That's not me… is that me? I am not sure.” And then I went on to dwell on it periodically for a significant portion of time, in between long periods of denial.

During those long periods of denial, I often felt that I did not know myself, that I had not yet been given the knowledge of who I truly was. I knew people existed on the other side of the canyon, in a land of understanding themselves and being who they truly were. I did not understand that one could travel from one side to the other. The truth is, everyone has a canyon to cross. Everyone has a part of who they are that they must discover and move towards. The moment we must make a change, we are tempted to deny the journey that has brought us to the moment. We cannot unlive the journey. To sit at the barrier is to waste away into nothingness, to resign oneself to a confused, empty, and meaningless fate. To bridge the canyon is to find validation within. Once having reached a pivotal point in self-discovery, we can connect where we are and where we want to be. It is to build a bridge and pass over the canyon, rather than jump into the abyss.

One of the steps over the bridge for me was to share my thoughts with one of my mothers. I told her that I thought I was genderqueer. We were in a car. I spent the whole ride, on the way to see a dentist, getting up the courage to bring up the topic. Finally, as we got back into the car after the appointment to go home, I told her. Her response crushed me.

“Just promise me,” she said, with a clearly disappointed tone to her voice, “that you won’t turn into a man.” She slid into the car, and slammed the door behind her.

A cocktail of sadness, disappointment, anger at her, self-doubt, and self-loathing welled up inside me, sloshing around. I was either going to cry, or going to explode: her words, now fading into the tense silence, were the smoldering match to my gasoline. “Who ever said that I wanted to be a man?!” I sputtered, “I just want to be me. How is that the first response you, a self-proclaimed trans-ally, have. It’s like you are supportive of everyone, no matter what, until that person is your own kid.”

“Yeah. I guess so,” she unashamedly agreed, as if she saw nothing wrong with it.

We sat in silence.


Many people will cross this bridge with you, and many will try to hold you back. Many people will cheer you on from the other side, and many will demand that you turn away, or else jump. Belonging is not guaranteed. Turning back is to make more difficult the path for the next traveler; to desecrate the faith of the folks across the canyon. Continuing forward is tearing yourself away from the arms that have cradled you and embraced you since you were young. But everyone has a place where they fit in, even if they must travel far to find it. I may not fit exactly in with the puzzle I was packaged with, but I fit in with my community. The more people like me I have met, the more I have learned to accept myself. As I have gained confidence through embracing this community, I have found my place. I have claimed my right to exist shamelessly as I am. I am genderqueer, and my existence is mine. Identity is for an individual to define. To sacrifice one’s well being just to appease others is to peel away and discard the unique meaning of that individual’s existence.

As explained by Jill Soloway, film director and writer of the television show Transparent,  “The category of nonbinary or gender-queer feels like a relief to me. It's sort of a safe home, a place in which my self wishes to reside…. I know it’s awkward and hard to understand, but all we have is the language. These words are attempting to catch up to something that is a question of how one exists inside one’s mind or one’s soul.” (Glamour interview, Ann Friedman, 9/14/17)

I knew who I was, but had trouble accepting myself. I had internalized so much of the negative responses and resistance I had been met with. It would be so much easier if I could just be who they wanted me to be. It would be easier if I had never discovered my identity in the first place, but that was impossible. Having a sense of self is a part of the human experience; an integral part of existence. It would be so much easier to opt out of the human experience, but that was clearly not an option. As I struggled with myself, figuring out my identity, I replayed many of the responses of people close to me:


“I never knew you weren’t happy on this side of the canyon.”

“You seemed to fit in so well when you were younger.”

“We would miss you. Just promise me you won’t go.”

“You’ll regret it. I screwed a lot of things up when I was a teenager.”

“I accept that you wish to be over there, so long as you stay on this side.”

“This is just a phase. A trend.”

“Fake. Liar. Special snowflake.”


Where I see my journey to happiness, they see the withering of an image they had of me. They see an imposter killing off the person they thought they knew, wearing the skin of their loved one, asking for help to irreversibly change it.

Am I really a monster? A fake? An imposter? A special snowflake, just begging for attention in a way that is guaranteed to cause me agony and make my life significantly more difficult?


No. Because voices also echo from the other side.


“Change what you cannot live with. Learn to love the rest,” advises a more experienced traveler, already trod on the path I follow.


Among them, is a quote from queer activist Kate Bornstein: “There’s a bunch of people who used to think ‘I’m a terrible person for changing my gender’ or ‘I’m a terrible person because I’m f**king same-sex people’ and people are now understanding that, no, trans is not mean to anybody. Queering up your sexuality isn’t mean to anybody.” (Huffpost interview, James Nichols, 10/10/15, updated 8/10/16)


The open arms of those who have traveled this path before me, cheer me on.


Self-discovery is a process. I am constantly evolving; growing as a person. For a long time, when I doubted myself, I thought that this made my understanding invalid. Now, I feel that doubt is inevitable. It is a landmark along the trail of self-discovery, just before the point of making a decision. It would be so simple to stop, to never cross that barrier.

But if we do not carry on, what are we to do? We must continue forward, as we cannot turn back. Since my first moments of questioning my identity, I have learned to reflect on all aspects of my identity on a deeper level. I am now self-aware in a way I never would have thought possible.

Where do I go now? Many people see a genderqueer identity as highly politicized. It is true that identity in the context of society is political and formative of the present moment, as well as the future of humans as social beings. Labels can be used to create both division and community. But identity on an individual basis has a more fluid meaning. For me, I exist in the way I have always existed: as myself. Now, I put a label on it because that label fits and that label creates a sense of community for me. Identifying as genderqueer connects me to the community that I have discovered myself in. This sense of community so powerful and necessary. My genderqueer identity is made up of me existing and putting a label that fits onto my existence. This has been a long journey for me, and I know it is one that will last forever. I know who I am in this moment, and look forward to continuing to discover myself. I will not sacrifice my sense of self just to appease a society that claims I do not exist.




Advanced Essay #2: Blinded by Belonging

Introduction

The goal of my essay is to tell people about the pros and cons of belonging and how belonging can be blinding. I'm really proud of my scene of memory because when I wrote it I really saw the growth from then to now and how I found people I can say I truly belong with. I want to improve on grammar and using more detailed descriptions in my next essay. 


Advanced Essay #2: Blinded by Belonging

Scene of memory

Shhh. Silence. I told myself throughout my middle school career.

I barely spoke I don’t know why I had so much fear.

From my head to my toe, silence was my only solution.

So I barely spoke all the years of middle school that was basically my conclusion.

My peers asked,” Why don’t you talk.”

I responded with a shrug of my shoulders

I never spoke and my silence was tough like a boulder.

I still got work done that wasn’t even an issue.

I got all A’s man but the silence I still continued.

I was too nervous to speak I didn’t know what to say.

I go to bed and wake up and do it again the next day.

That all changed when I went to high school and track came along.

My voice became clear and my courage became strong.

I felt like I belong


I’m no longer afraid

to talk to my peers without the shade

Sun light the silence will fade

Spray the silence away with the raid.

Two sides of the same brown penny

Silence or not my courage is now plenty.

In the U.S. there is always the constant idea of belonging. People are always trying to find a place, group, or even gang to find where people share the same ideas you share. That’s why when people are in a group they feel more comfortable because they feel like they can contribute to their group. That’s why we connect with family because we’re with them for the majority of our life. When we leave the house we need to have the sense of belonging again. This belonging can be a blessing but also a curse and blind people because of belonging.

In a news report from, CNN written by, Amanda Enayati, called “The Importance of belonging” talks about the science and psychology of belonging and it states, “‘Belonging is a psychological lever that has broad consequences,’ writes Walton. ‘Our interests, motivation, health and happiness are inextricably tied to the feeling that we belong to a greater community that may share common interests and aspirations.’The idea that this quote demonstrates is everyone experiences the idea of belonging that when they don’t have anybody they’ll start feeling lonely. They start being taken advantage of if they’re desperate and will face “broad consequences.” It’s because we all share “common interests” that we think people wouldn’t want to take advantage of one another but in reality people don’t always share the same “aspirations”. It’s because belonging is a “psychological” thing that sometimes it can cause us to be blind to even the most obvious forms of  being taken advantage of.

On the other hand, in a article called “On Belonging” by Marianna Pogosyan Ph.D., she talks about good and bad things about belonging with researchers to back her up and it states,” Belonging, thus, offers "reassurance that we are not alone," says Ms. Hattaway. That it’s not just us, even at times of loneliness and isolation (whether as newcomers to a college, or a foreign country).” From this point of view you can see how belonging can make you feel at home. It helps you understand you “are not alone”, no matter where you came from, no matter you’re identity, you’re never alone and you don’t have to be. When you try to recieve belonging it can make you vulnerable for the first few stages but when or if the people accept you, then you feel happiness and comfort. Being isolated and not being around others can be unhealthy and can have consequences if you’re alone to long but, when you have people that support you the pain, the joy, the sadness, can be shared so you don’t have to go through life alone. You have “reassurance” that people (or rather friends) have your back especially when you’ve been friends for a long time. Time can play a huge role in belonging to because if you’ve been in a group, partner, etc. for awhile you’ll view them as more trustworthy compared to a first encounter with a person because with the first encounter you haven’t had enough time to even get to know the person so you wouldn’t be sure if they even share you ideas or not. That’s why time and belonging also go hand and hand.      

Also in the Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, a character named Jay Gatsby was looking for belonging with a girl named Daisy and found it but had to leave because of his duties as a soldier so Daisy ended up being married to a man named Tom. Around 5 years later Jay found Daisy again. In this quote it talks about how Daisy has to choose either Tom or Jay and it starts off with Jay saying,”’Daisy that’s all over now,’ he said earnestly.’It doesn’t matter any more. Just tell him the truth-that you never loved him-and it’s all wiped out forever.’...She began to sob helplessly. ‘I did love him once -but I loved you too.” This quote demonstrates the idea that Jay is really pressing on Daisy to make her be with him even though she has a husband. The thing is that Jay and Daisy had a history together in the past and that relationship, that belonging has stayed in both of their hearts that they both yearn for something like that. The problem is that Daisy found that belonging with Tom and Jay is stuck by himself still yearning for that belonging and love. You can tell Daisy still has feelings for Tom when she said “but I loved you too” and it’s an interesting choice of words there because Daisy says loved like she use to love Jay and too meaning I loved you in the past which probably made Jay feel hurt that the person that he was looking for after their first encounter ended up loving another man. You can see how obsessed Jay is while trying to get back with this woman, and he is trying to make Daisy say she never ever loved Tom. Jay is probably thinking that only he belongs to Daisy and only Daisy belongs to him.

As a recap when you yearn for belonging it can be your best friend. Knowing that others share what you feel can be a really good feeling. It helps you go through life without the world on your shoulders. On the other hand, searching for belonging blindly can be very dangerous and can come with consequences, like being taken advantage of. This is why you need to be careful if you searching for belonging and look for signs to see in you’re being taken advantage or if the person/ group your with is legit.  



Advanced Essay #2: Being Black in America

The purpose of this essay was to explore the ideology of African Americans in society. There are generations all teaching the next generation that they are obligated to code switch and tolerate the limitations set on their race. I am most proud of my scene of memory and how I shared a personal experience. In my next essay, I would like to improve on bringing forth more agreeable ideas to the audience.

Being black in America is a fight, a long and hard battle to be treated humanely. The stereotypical idea of black people is often portrayed as loud, ignorant, and thuggish before anyone can see the true image of African-Americans. It is often not seen as beneficial being black, being in the shape that society shapes black people into. Every black person is an individual of their own background and experiences, but being black causes a stress factor on succeeding in America. The fear of white privilege devaluing your success is one of the many things African-Americans as a whole can relate to. 
Being mistreated, enduring prejudice and unjustifiable murder can deconstruct and create oblivion to who African-Americans truly are. The psychological and cultural barriers that were made by centuries of racism and segregation have caused African-Americans to accept that they might never succeed their white counterparts. That ideology will and has been passed down through generation hence the disbelief of self. It is the alternative routes of acquiring recognition in society, that not only impacts their image negatively, but in the end the person does not feel any fulfillment. In the instance that an African-American does succeed without alternative routes, society doubts and discredits their success.
African-Americans were forced to abide by the constraints of society. Freedom was not real freedom in reality. Minor infractions were followed by baseless consequences. Whites were far more superior and the court of law was almost always biased. The case of Emmett Till is still very powerful to this day. Till was an African-American and a victim of racism and unjustifiable murder. On August 28, 1955, Till was tortured and beaten brutally, one of his eyes gouged out, and his body thrown into Tallahatchie River tied to a large fan used for ginning cotton. His body was so badly beaten, the only way to identify him was his initials on his ring.  Till’s murder was fueled by the accusation of flirting with a white woman in a grocery store. Neither of the men who murdered Till was sentenced, instead they were ruled as not guilty. In an interview with Lebron James, he was asked what it meant to be black in America, in response he brought forth the case of Emmett Till. “I think back to Emmett Till’s mom, actually,” James said. “That’s one of the first things I thought of. The reason she had an open casket was that she wanted to show the world what her son went through as far as a hate crime, and being black in America.” Under no circumstances should the murder be justified as not guilty but in the court of law against African-Americans, it will be made possible.
African-American parents often have to teach their children that they have to tolerate prejudice and discrimination or else they can be harmed. This is not a mentality someone is born with, this is a mentality someone has to be taught. The double standard has to be destroyed, there should be no tolerance of racism. As a parent, teaching the children that being pulled over by police is a life or death situation is imperative. It is strongly planted into their minds that these are not lessons to be ignored, police are to be feared because of the complexion of your skin. Ernest Owens stated in an interview, “These are the respectability politics of how black people are often forced to conduct themselves in society. It's not by choice, but by obligation. It could in many ways be the difference between being free or imprisonment, of staying alive or facing death.” It is not a secret that there are limitations on what African-Americans are free to do, there are a myriad of unspoken rules on how to behave in society. In this country, African-Americans have been coerced into accepting that the obligation to code-switch is inequitable but must be done to survive here. Parents preparing their black children for the reality of America consist of explicit instruction to avoid being a target, and act accordingly or it may lead to serious consequences.
As a child, I was educated on what being black in this country meant. I was warned that I am female, which meant there would be a more intense competition for me in this society. People around me told me how I should work even harder because I am in a society that does not value me because of my race. On a trip to the beach, my mother warned me and my siblings that we had to stay moderately quiet in the beach house all week, “You all need to behave and be quiet, we can’t be out here looking like the loud, crazy black people.” Her words resonated with me, it wasn’t fair that we couldn’t enjoy the trip as much as we wanted. At night, we cooked and laughed and played but continuously warned each other to remain quiet. I could hear our white neighbors yelling and drinking from their balcony. The thought of my family being the target if we were to do the same had angered me. In life, I hadn’t experienced much discrimination and reality until that vacation. I questioned why our society still allows a double standard, in addition to the limitation on how I enjoy my life and grow in America. Most importantly, I questioned this ideology of African-Americans and how teaching the following generations to feel obligated to code switch for the satisfaction of society had been so normal.

The Jash Episode 3

It’s catchy and fun it’s not boring.   
The Jash
by: Sydney Rogers, Israt Jahan, Avi Cantor, Hamidou Doumbia
Episode 3:

In this episode of Jash we will discuss the author intent. we going to have a fun and exciting last episode. We hope you enjoyed The Jash podcast.

Evidence:

Chapter 12-25

Link:

https://youtu.be/e2nPtX7IBgc

Laughterhouse 5- Podcast #2

In the second podcast of the series, the Laughterhouse 5 team discuss the book through the Historicist Lens, making comparisons to World War 2 and the Holocaust. Check it out here: https://youtu.be/w6_YIWZ0UA8

Marcin

Noack, Rick. “Photos: 70 Years Ago, Dresden Was Destroyed. Here's What It Looks like Today.” The Washington Post, WP Company, 13 Feb. 2015, www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2015/02/13/photos-70-years-ago-dresden-was-destroyed-heres-what-it-looks-like-today/?utm_term=.2f02b14978b4.

The article talks about the city of Dresden which was bombed during World War 2 and was the cause of 25,000 deaths. The city was almost completely rebuilt since this, mostly financed by American funds, however, the city is still haunted by the event that leveled it almost 74 years ago. The article talks about the Neo-Nazis that march through the city on the day of the bombing every year, proclaiming how proud they are of the event. Recently protestants have formed barriers standing arm in arm in order to stop them from entering the city. Their message through this protest is "Your predecessors caused the destruction of this city and we will protect it against you. Don't dare to abuse this day of commemoration for your racist goals." Our novel largely revolves around this historic event and describes scenes from it multiple times across the book. This article provides a way of viewing the horror the city faced back then, as well as background information about the event that the book doesn't provide. It also gives an example of how this historic event is still affecting the city through the march which is in support of it.

Matt

Washington Post. January 1, 2019. February 13, 2015. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2015/02/13/photos-70-years-ago-dresden-was-destroyed-heres-what-it-looks-like-today/?utm_term=.273706bede96 (Links to an external site.)Links to an external site. 

The article was written to remember the 70th anniversary of the Dresden Firebombing. It talks about how the city was destroyed and how it left many people confused and scared. For years, a lot of the city was left in rubble. Like Frauenkirche church, which was only recently rebuilt. Now, Dresden is a very beautiful city. On February 13th, almost every year people stand together to remember what happened to their city, and they protest neo- Nazi's blaming them for the destruction of their city. We can now, look at this through the lens of the people of Dresden. We have been seeing it through the eyes of the Kurt Vonnegut.

Messele

https://www.nytimes.com/1969/03/31/books/vonnegut-slaughterhouse.html

Article about the author Kurt Vonnegut and his life history as well as information about his participation in the war.

Lucien


http://www.openculture.com/2012/07/kurt_vonnegut_writes_home_from_world_war_ii.html

This article featured a letter that Kurt wrote back home from the war. it gives a lot of information about his time in the war as well as his beliefs regarding war in general.

Jason

https://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/27/travel/36-hours-in-dresden-germany.html

Article talking about the city of Dresden which was bombed during World War 2 and is an important location throughout the book.

Advanced Essay #2: Former Homophobic LGBT Community Member: Not Clickbait

Introduction
The purpose of this essay is to describe the experience of self-acceptance after discovering your queerness as opposed to the infamous story of the journey of internalized homophobia. I have seen and read this story so many times, and regardless of how important and representative the story is, I wanted to be able to relate to someone’s coming out story for once. This essay is representation that I am creating for myself, and for any others that have had a similar experience to mine. I’m proud of my essay. It’s very insightful and analytical like most of my work tends to be. However, I wish I had gone in and drafted my essay multiple times because I think that would have improved the overall polish of my paper. In my next essay, I hope to become even more analytical and make the essay as best as it can be.

Essay

Many people’s coming out stories have tales of shame, guilt, and lack of self-acceptance. For my personal coming to terms with my sexual orientation story, none of that showed up. I sort of just one day said to myself, “Wait a minute” and realized that this feeling of infatuation towards women and those female-presenting alike was not jealousy or admiration, it was attraction. I didn’t feel any shame, even though a couple years prior same-sex couples really freaked me out. Sure, it was unfamiliar and strange to imagine my future with a woman having never considered it before, but it didn’t scare me or make me feel bad about myself. I figured, similarly to Ellen DeGeneres’ coming out experience, “Oh well.” In an interview with Time Magazine, she demonstrates an underlying acceptance that some LGBTQ people carry within themselves. It’s a concise statement in its nature, but a self-affirming phrase that allows LGBTQ people like me to move forward with their lives and keep moving regardless of struggles that may arise out of realizations about sexual orientation.

I wasn’t always so accepting. As a kid, although I had a gay father figure, gay teachers, gay family members whom I all loved, (and was a soon-to-realize queer person myself), I had a hard time being comfortable with queerness.

My family and I were meant to be meeting up with my godmother, Kim, and her fiancée for lunch. I was sat in a booth squished between my parents in a hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant that white college boys went to for Margaritas every Monday night. Needless to say, I was already fed up. But nothing could have prepared me for when Kim and Sophia walked in.

My parents had already told me that Kim was marrying a woman, but I still squirmed in my seat upon glancing at Sophia’s hand around my godmother’s waist. They said their hellos to my parents and to me. I smiled awkwardly, trying my best not to show how uncomfortable I was.

The meal was frankly unbearable. I picked through the mountain of chicken and various toppings on my plate and tried my hardest not to stare as Sophia rubbed her partner’s shoulder. I felt as though I was watching a scary movie - it was awful but I couldn’t help but keep watching. I watched, and watched, and watched.

Contrary to popular belief, I personally think a lot of your acceptance level comes from how you self-identify. When I thought that I was straight, same-sex couples were hard to swallow. Although not immediately afterward,  I began to realize I wasn’t as straight as I thought, my capacity for tolerance began to shift. That’s in no way to say that straight people aren’t capable of being accepting of different sexualities, just that in my experience my queer identity had a direct correlation to my acceptance.

That being said, if being LGBT causes you to broaden your horizons when it comes to tolerance, why do so many queer people struggle with accepting their identities? I think this is where your background, culture, and upbringing come into play. I’d like to quote a TEDx Talk by a stand-up comedian, Mike King: “How we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.” As I mentioned earlier, I was surrounded by LGBT people and their allies alike all of the time growing up. I had no reason to think that my identity was wrong once I realized I wasn’t straight. I figured, “If I’m queer, then maybe people like that aren’t scary and gross, they’re exactly who I was raised to think they are.” I finally began to see LGBT people in the light that I was raised to see them in.








Contribution and Honor

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Screenshot 2019-01-15 at 9.46.44 PM
Screenshot 2019-01-15 at 9.49.26 PM
Screenshot 2019-01-15 at 9.49.26 PM
Track List

 What If... 
This song is dedicated to MG’s imagination. This is how we feel the play should’ve ended.
The Death of Macbeth
This song is dedicated to the main character in the play Macbeth, named Macbeth. Our contribution to him.
Unreliable  
The guards in Macbeth whom were supposed to protect King Duncan, and failed miserably. Its sad how unreliable they were and how much trust was put into them. 
 Betrayed 
Banquo, Macbeth’s best and only friend was murdered. He was murdered by his friend Macbeth. This is MG’s Contribution to Him. R.I.P Banquo.
 The Story of Lady Macbeth
Lady Macbeth was Macbeth’s wife. She was his partner in crime and had endured a lot and changed dramatically. We think you deserve to know how.
 Lil Duff
Lil Duff was Macduff’s son and very young. He was murdered by some murders Macbeth hired. This is G from MG’s favorite song on the whole album, and is written, and intended to be sung to the tune of Gucci Gang, by Lil Pump.
  Fly boy, Fly 
Fleance is Banquo’s son. He was present when his father was being murdered. Before his father died, he told his son to run for his life. That Fleance did. This song is MG honoring that tragic scene.
  All hail Malcolm 
Malcolm became the rightful King. After Macbeth was slay’n by Macduff. I feel he deserves some honor and contribution. People were hoping he’d become king and were super happy when he was promoted. -G from MG
 It’s Macbeth
Macbeth’s actions led him to become a cruel tyrant. This is MG’s take on this, written and intended to be sung to the tune of I’m Upset, by Drake
I know things you don’t
When Lady Macbeth starts to become very stressed out and can’t sleep. Her hand maid and  a doctor observe her sleeping. The doctor tries to ask the handmaid questions but she refuses to speak. Then they see Lady Macbeth unnatural actions in action. This is MG’s interpretation.

Click below to see Miles and I final Benchmark project.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1gNFDVgf8NnlN83NWx-zIcRxpL1_NQ6stjKMyif71g6M/edit?usp=sharing
This album Contribution and Honor is a poetic and musical twist on shakespeare’s Macbeth. We decided to do an album, because Macbeth, the play was music content rich. Plus music is fun and entertaining. The name contribution and honor came to me in a dream. The meaning is to contribute to fun learning, while honoring shakespeare. The My teacher Ms. Giknis taught us about Shakespeare, while keeping us entertained. When writing the songs, we thought that dedicating each track to a character would bring out the highlights of the story, and the compelling characters within it. Hence the name honor and contribution. By providing you with sample song Lil Duff. MG hopes to educate you and entertain you! Enjoy!!!


Click here to see our final creation. By my partner Miles and I.
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Screenshot 2019-01-17 at 12.11.59 PM

I am > I was

I am > I was... 1.15.19 @ 11:58
I am > I was... 1.15.19 @ 11:58
Macbeth shall bang...
Macbeth shall bang...
This video was from one of our very talented fans! I remake of MACBETH SHALL BANG! It was a heavy metal song that got remade into Beyonce. 
Lyrics - Duff dreams

Uh

R.I.P to my boy Duncan

Classic stuff

I'm looking for Macbeth Who killed my babies

a handful of England

Sprinkle of lil’ Scott land

Man, I don't really care I'm rockin with lil Malcolm

But if he backs down when we fighting then peace

Im tryna get Siward to join us in the war

All he want to do is get is kid perform

I want to beat Macbeth up make sure its a K-O

Cut his head off I aint playing no more yo.


Somebody go and make sure Lady ok though

I heard she telling doctors that Macbeth aint do it isolo

I know Macbeth want to kill me now, then come get at me

Man maybe I should let him think we about let him free


All he ever want to do is stay lying and stuff

Man I need his people to know he turned my whole family to dust

Banquo’s son is worth a hundred milli, he better buy me some stuff

But ion know is he hitting the throne or if they ready duff

It's too late to say sorry I'm ready to whoop him

He really killed my whole family now revenge is coming for him

Man fife was my baby, I didn't want an L

But i'll be back when it's time to take Macbeth to hell

Used to mess with him now I ain't addressing him no more

Caught him plotting against Duncan I aint accepting it no more

I always knew that he was shady that's why I moved to England

How he feeling bad for Duncan?

He killed him by hand.

Dreams of killing Macbeth..

I'm not playing because Im slaying (4x)


Lyrics - Be Careful

Yeah

Be careful, be careful, be careful with me

Yeah, look

I wanna get married, be a queen stop playing

But I want this more than you really do

Gave you a plan to that kill that old man

Now we aint really bout to go out like this

I tried to show you all you need was water man

But you went out and found a sea to wash your hands

I guess its fine now we both dead wow

What really was our vows?

I cant help but think about what we been

But now I figured we are just a trend

Macduff done came for your head man

Is this the end?

Tomorrow Tomorrow Tomorrow Tomorrow Tomorrow

What about today? You were so worried. Had your head stuck in the hay

Come on now I taught better than this

What about that old man he had so much blood down his hip-


Lyrics - Thou drip too hard

Gimme dat Duncan

I just copped the biggest gown in the castle

Cause I wanted it

Man, I took the drip, they sucked it up, I got it all now

I got a new crown, I have the throne now they bow down

Feeling these drugs, Im seeing banquo

I can't focus

That ain't your crown, you wish you had it, but I stole it

If I'm in the room, quiet down while i'm talking

The gold just came back in in all hundreds

Vibes galore, cute stuff, they all on me

I'm from Inverness where young kings run things

I know they hating on me but who got the crown now?

I can get anything I want

What you mean? I am king now

I shall drip too hard don't stand too close

You gon’ mess around and drown get off my wave

Doing all these meets, Macduff ain't been around

He don't want no smoke anywhere I go

Don't give me bad lil’ vibes, and don't be on my mind

As soon as I see it, you will get slayed

Do this all the time this ain't no surprise

Tragic hero? Man I am Macbeth!

Lyrics - Macbeth shall bang

I fought for you

The hardest, it made me unbalanced

So tell me your secrets

I just can’t stand to see you bleeding

But hell couldn’t wait for you

No, hell couldn't wait for you

Hell couldn't wait for you

No, Hell couldn't wait for you

So gooo on go home

They laughed at the darkness

So scared that you lost it

We stood in the castle

I showed you soap was all you needed

But hell couldn’t wait for you

No, hell couldn't wait for you

Hell couldn't wait for you

No, Hell couldn't wait for you

So gooo on go home

But hell couldn’t wait for you

No, hell couldn't wait for you

Hell couldn't wait for you

No, Hell couldn't wait for you

So gooo on go home

But hell couldn’t wait for you

No, hell couldn't wait for you

Hell couldn't wait for you

No, Hell couldn't wait for you

So gooo on go home


Advance Essay #2: Death in Identity

Identity is something very sacred to mankind as a whole. It's a way for us to separate each other and stand out proud and loud. It’s a way to make it that when we die that we did exist! we did live! we lived through pain, through sadness, through hardship, and when we die, remember the best and worst of our lives. But, the idea of identity in death would soon fade. You see, death was something that got overlooked a lot before technology came around. Newspaper and other sources would talk about it but it would just feel like a everyday thing with no true meaning. As time went on death had started to fade in thoughts through entertainment or just the busy bodies of the world and work place. But, with the rise of social media and online networks like facebook, twitter, snapchat and instagram as quoted from the New York times article ‘’Ghosts in the machine’’ by Jenna Wortham ‘’The near pervasiveness of social technology has delivered death back into our daily interactions.’’. Thanks to the these social media sites you are always reminded of death. It could come from anywhere a friend, family, love one or even a actor/actress you like.   

While others would not want it that way and would do anything to not be themselves. Some People sooner forget who they used to be and wear the mask of someone else or even live a persona they made up. No one really knows why some people want to do this or even what can cause this want, on the surface that is. If we were to dive deeper into someone’s psyche we would find that it could be due to some form of self hate, abuse or even pride. With pride it’s because of making up the idea of a greater person. Let’s use ‘’The Great Gatsby’’ as an example of using a made up person to get farther away from oneself. Using the main man of the story himself, Gatsby. Gatsby was a very smart, rich, cunning and outrageous character with many things making him the most memorable out of all the characters in the book. But, this was nothing more than a fake mask he wore to empress the woman he loved so much that his very mansion was right across the waters from where she lived. He made up this character so well and so mysterious that everyone just ended up making stories up about him like how one of his maids says this ‘’Somebody told me he killed a man once.’’ and for it to be followed up by another woman saying ‘’Oh no,’’ said the first girl, ‘’it couldn’t be that, because he was in the American army during the war.’’.

All the stories told were lies and over ex duration. He was nothing more than a poor man who built himself up rich and due to his building of the character people had never really got a description of what he looked like, only what he acted like. All they ever did was come to his house for his open parties and when he died not a single person from those parties came to his funeral.

Death in Identity is being completely forgotten from the face of the Earth. Something we all want to avoid at all times. Life is hard as it is and no one wants to die and just get forgotten like some lost toy. That's we try so hard to live our lives to the fullest and do the craziest things so were remembered for the outlandish things we did. That is the importance of understanding Death in Identity.  


The Club of Eden Podcast - The Garden of Eden by Ernest Hemmingway

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Screenshot 2019-01-16 at 10.41.17 AM
For The Club of Eden’s third and final podcast, our discussion focused on the theme of Author’s Intent. In this podcast, we dive into the details of Ernest Hemingway’s life and explore how the events he’s experienced in his life affected the way he wrote the book. Join us as we discuss the ending of the book, our thoughts on what could have happened, and so much more. We hope you enjoy!

Here's our podcast: https://www.soundtrap.com/play/fE5G2GdRRnCbdmniMxP39Q/the-club-of-eden-podcast-3/