I am very ready to be an adult. I am able to make educated decisions and have a lot of the characteristics of being independent. I am sure that I will be perfectly fine when I go to college. I am sure that I will enjoy it. I am going right down the street from my house.
This doesn't change the fact that I'm fucking terrified.
I'm excited... I know this is how it should be, and I would not have it any other way... But I am so damn scared and also so incredibly sad that I am leaving this school that all I've wanted to do recently is spend time with friends and sleep it off so that I wont think about it. The one thing that sucks about having something that is actually good is that it has to end eventually, and when you leave something good, no matter whether it is for the right reasons or not, it fucking sucks. I am definitely going to be "one of those kids who wouldn't stop crying at graduation."
I think that's just me though, it took me until this year to realize I was that kid. There were some missing pieces of being an adult for me last year, namely insecurity. I have that piece now, and am going to continue working on it. Of course I'll have lots of other pieces that have to come together too, but that's the one I needed to be ready for college, and I'm there now.
It's funny how older people are right sometimes... They tell you the pieces will come together as you get older as long as you work at them, whether it's stage fright, battling procrastination or figuring out how to fill out tons of stressful, "adult," government paperwork for your taxes and job. You can't picture what they mean when they say you'll figure it out as you get older. How could you? You've never had that piece, how would you know what life is like any other way? But it just kind of happens all of the sudden. I hope I never stop learning. I know I wont.

PS. You are all invited.

It's about damn time.
I love my life. <3​

I hate trivia i hate with all the vile in the world. TRVIA IS EVIL!!! IT MAKES ME ANGRY  it's the type of contest where I start getting pissy when i'm not winning. I really don't like to play.

"I don't feel like reflecting much more or talking about things that I cannot even describe."

I love that sentence, Megan.  I don't know why, but it's very poetic and it basically explains how I am feeling most of the time.

& I agree. I kind of feel numb right now.  It hasn't set in just yet that I am actually graduating.

I don't know how to snap out of my "stress-over-schoolwork" mode.  My brain keeps drifting back to moodle every few minutes just to remember that I literally have NOTHING left to work on.

Holy shit.

It's really over.

I just finished my last benchmark of my high school career. It feels pretty damn good. And tomorrow is the last day of classes. Time flew by this year. 

It's weird how everyone is upset that they are leaving highschool and some are just super excited. I'm just dumb. I feel like I've always walked around highschool half brain dead anyways. Maybe I'll realize that I'm really move on to another stage in life once graduation is closer. Who knows. 

I must say highschool has been one hell of a ride. I've made many memorable memories and even more that I could do better off without. I don't feel like reflecting much more or talking about things that I cannot even describe. Hope that makes sense. 

I have the weirdest sunburn. There are burnt splotches all over my body. I look like a burn victim. It's just awful. I need to get better sunscreen. This one sucked.

I can hardly believe it, but I have finished my last benchmark project EVER! I just had my last advisory EVER, and I'm about to have my last full school day tomorrow. This is really happening??!

Last grade recovery... also need to to finish english bm..... *sigh* gotta rewrite the whole stupid essay. ..... ..... DOTS EVERYWHERE!!!!!! 

So... Temple finally has me listed as living on campus... and I was under the impression that this would mean they would give me more money than they did when they thought I was living at home. But apparently they already had me listed as on campus, and the one they sent me just had a typo... and therefore... I'm not getting any more money. But I really kinda need more to live on campus so... I don't know what the fuck... fuck. College is such a ripoff... I don't think there has ever been a bigger scam in the whole world. "Don't call it financial aid, if you're not helping anyone!" Seriously though... what the hell?

With next week?

I want a full layout of what we're doing & when I can sleep in late.

lmao.

Working late sucks on school nights.