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Storytelling - Chase

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Morning Routine

Every morning I wake up at 6. It's only a 30 minute commute from my house to school, but I don't like to rush in the morning, so I get up extra early. After I eat my daily slice of bread ( no butter, no jelly, not toasted) and change into my outfit, and do my hair, I then walk out the door around 7:00 and wait for the 5 bus, which comes at 7:05 am. Shortly after my 10 minute bus ride on the 5 I then catch another bus, the 48, which comes at 7:15. This is about a 15-20 minute bus ride and I arrive to school around 7:30-7:40ish. I like arriving at that time because I do most of my homework in the morning at school. I have a very planned out morning schedule, however this if often disturbed by my mom. Who always asks me to wait for her. I want to wait for her, but she always takes so long to get ready, and throws my morning schedule off. I hate that. Despite my schedule being ruined I always wait for her. I used to be pissy by my morning schedule being thrown off by her, but I finally accepted it. I no longer care about my morning schedule being ruined. It took me 3 years to be okay with that, but at least now I am.  I think it's because I know next year there will be no more morning commutes with her and I'm just trying to savor the moment now.
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A Daily Dose Of Perspective

Today I was on the El going home from school. I always sit on the very back car of the El train. I know it's not really the safest place on the El, but it is by far the most interesting and it is always very good for my daily dose of perspective. So when the train pulled up I went in the very last door on the train and sat in the very last seat in the back so that I could survey everything happening in front of me going on in the car. There was a guy sitting in front of me when I sat down with his daughter who looked about three or four years old. He looked like he was probably some kind of manual laborer, he had a blue Dickies jumpsuit on which was covered in primer and what looked like black pitch and caulk and he also had a tool box with him. I liked these people already. The girl kept turning around in her seat and waving at me, it was really cute.
Then at Eleventh Street a woman and what I assume to be her boyfriend or whatever got on. The woman sat down next to me and the guy sat across from her, he was playing with her phone. They started to get in an argument and it became instantly clear to me that they were both heroine addicts. It is really easy to tell an addict, they always talk really slowly and in a whispery type voice and it always seems like they are putting every bit of energy they have just to finish their sentences. They usually also repeat themselves multiple times and if someone tries to reason with them the only response they seem to be able to muster up is to repeat it again. I also notice that if they are really high they tend to keep almost falling over, stopping themselves, then almost falling over again, and stopping themselves all in slow motion and all in a never ending cycle. They remind me very much of zombies.
Anyway these two people were having an argument, she started telling him how he was going to drop her phone and he was going to have to pay for it. He didn't really put up much of a defense to that other than "Naw... naw." She then proceeded to tell him how "They were fucking right all along, you can't be fucking clean and be with someone who aint shit clean, it don't fucking work. It's just not gonna work... fuck. This wont work. They were fucking right all along... didn't wanna fucking listen... I'm always so fucking stupid... this wont work, cant be clean with someone fucking not." He just stared at her and then back at the phone. I could tell the dad in front of me was on edge about the lady swearing so much with his kid on the car, but he didn't say anything except for a little "Come on man!" quietly to himself.
Then it started to get worse though. She started talking about things that were inappropriate in content and not just language. "They always fucking do this... boys... all the fucking tricks who do all the bad things and never fucking try to work on themselves, that's who you boys fucking take out to nice dinner and buy nice things. Never is it the good girl... fucking does what she's told and tries to follow the rules... sits in her fucking house no friends at all never fucking goes out, she lives for you and fucking always will love you but that's not who you buy shit for. You take out the slut who doesn't give a shit about you and is fucking all your friends behind your back... I'm trying to give you a fucking chance to be clean and you just wanna fuck tricks and treat them better en you treat me."
His response: "You tryna say you fucking gave me everything? Like I wasn't shit without you?"
"Yeah... that's exactly what it is..."
Nothing, blank stare. But at this point the dad in front of me was really fed up and he turned around and pointed to his daughter and told her to have a little respect. "Aw... don't fucking worry mister your girl is so pretty... I know you love her... you gotta tell her this sometimes... these things... are the truth for women in this world... She needs to learn it... maybe it's better now she knows that them boys just fuck you over and leave you... and fuck up your life. She still has time if you teach her now... she could still have time to turn into one of them dykes and not fucking... deal with boys ever."
Then the dad just picked up his kid and walked on to the next car. "See Tony (I guess that was the name of the guy she was with) see we made all the people move away from us on the trolly... you're fucking making them move away... all the people around us... I don't want them to hate us... I don't want them to fucking move away from us... cause of me."
Then at Fifth Street Station a guy came on the car trying to encourage people to register to vote, telling him how they could do it at any post office or library. He didn't know anything about the situation so he asked the woman next to me if she wanted to register. She then proceeded to tell him how she tried to register to vote once but such and such happened and the city is so unfair to poor people and all this other crap.
When it was time for me to get off at my stop I said "Excuse me miss," got up and left. I thought about it the whole walk home. That woman was ridiculous, and I would have hated to be that father and I would have taken my kid to the next car as soon as those people first sat down. At the same time, she wasn't actively trying to hurt anyone or be a horrible person. In fact in her own insane way she was trying to give some type of advice. I felt really bad about it, it was the saddest thing that happened all day actually. What she said was her own reality and that was depressing... but, it made for a good story for my storytelling class so... thank you last car on the El. I definitely got my daily dose of perspective.
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she told me " you stink " im sixteen , so im offended


i went home, with the same intentions everyday.

knock on the door hard, yell through the mailbox to yell at my brother to let me in, run upstairs, hang my coat in my closet , start up the stupid laptop with the bad battery, and finally TAKE OFF MY TIGHT JEANS.

now on a side note, taking off my jeans is one of my favorite things to do in the world. i literally feel free. i bet both my legs and thighs inhale and exhale as soon as i unbutton.  from 7:30 am to 4:15 i suffocated my legs, and thats exactly how i feel .
after doing the routine, i decided to jump in my moms bed. she makes everything difficult so the reason why i was in her bed in the first place was because she was making me call La salle University.
so im on the phone and the classical music is playing for what feels like 85 minutes , and im remixing it with "buy you a drank" by t-pain , meanwhile my mother is flipping through the channels , debating on whether or not she should watch what she calls " gillys"
(gilmore girls) what a stupid $%@! name right?
 THEN  FINALLY some lady from the admissions office answers the phone.
and my mom burst out with " you stink patricia"
 im like " huh " ,
then i switch to a more curious face and she repeats herself...."you stink little girl,you smell like the outside"

since i was little ive been trying to figure out what the "outside" smells like but i end up pushing my thoughts aside and i get defensive and , say " well you smell like the inside"

she goes on to say i smell like old people, like i haven't washed in a few weeks
now
 for one: she didnt have to bring old people into this because now she offending somebodies grandmom or grandpop that we dont even know.

for two: this is my mother, im 16, and this is usually the talk little 12 year old boys have with there mothers after a sweaty game of some sport

i dont immediately jump in the shower at all, i let whatever smell i was walking around with linger in her room, and seep in her bed since she had so much against the "outside smell"

after a few hours , maybe 2 hours . i jump in the shower and im scrubbin my black knees ALL CRAZAAAAYYY because prom daisy duke season is approaching

im just squirting and squirting this  pink stuff onto my washcloth .  scrubbing and slathering.....i take a second to look at the bottle because it smells so good , and
it reads

"suave strawberry shampoo" -_-

 now i dont know whether to be mad at the fact that i just washed up in shampoo or to be happy that smell like i just used my mothers favorite shampoo to wash my gluteus maximus:)


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Pondering

I am still thinking about yesterdays stories, the one's where students stood up and told stories for a few minutes on the topic of "Trust". The winner of yesterday's story telling, Alexis:), her story really touched me. I think she was really brave to stand in front of her class mates and express herself in the way that she did. I also really liked Freda's story; I really feel that she showed allot of who she was threw her story, and I liked that even though I know her, I got to know her a little better.
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Blind

Blind 

When I get to hold your hand,

I can barely withstand,

The colors that shape your mood,

I guess I’m blinded by your light, I guess I’m blinded by your light.


When my heart beats ten times faster,

I realize that I can’t help disaster,

The motions that cradle your desire,

I guess I’m blinded by your light, I guess I’m blinded by your light.

 

You, you take me there,

You take me anywhere that I want to be.

You, just don’t compare,

You’re all that I breathe for,

I love you endlessly.


Give me all that you possess,

I’m starving for a sense of accomplishment,

The things that make you, you,

I guess I’m blinded by your light, I guess I’m blinded by your light.


You, you take me there,

You take me anywhere that I want to be.

You, just don’t compare,

You’re all that I breathe for,

I love you endlessly.


 

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Spaghettios

Earlier in the week my mom had bought spaghettios so i'm excited that she had bought them cause i had'nt had them in a while. So i decided to have some for old times sake. the label said ?" Not with frank slices" so i go " Ohh that's new" i opened the can put it in a bowl and microwaved it. When finished i took it and happily started to eat. I took the first spoonful and my face twisted from happy to disgusted. those were nastiest spaghettio's i've ever tasted in my life. not at any moment did i recall spaghettios tasting the way these did. i look at the hot dog slices and slowly picked them all out cause they made the meal worse then better. 
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Intense AM Thoughts...

​i went to sleep way to early which threw off my sleeping pattern & the reason I'm up this time instead of cozy in the bed sleep. It actually is a good thing since I didn't do any homework so need i'm doing homework with tea. I'm excited about this tea its amazing like liquid goodness "peppermint tea" is a must have. I'm still waiting for Wagner to reply back which is so obnoxious come on people. There's nothing on tv at this time except porn which sucks so I guess music channel here I come. I finally saw the movie "Love & other Drugs" it came  OnDemand its an extremely good movie a little too much at times but good nonetheless. Well I'm gonna finish up my homework & then hopefully I'll get some more sleep.
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