Better Kept A Secret
I can’t believe you would do that to me when I trusted you to keep it a secret. Why?? Why would you do that?? I don’t wanna hear that you did what you thought was best for me. I knew exactly what was best for me. You might have thought that I was scared and too young to handle the situation, but I kept it a secret not because I was scared; that way, it was better for every one. It’s not like I was going to let him get near me ever again. (Pause) (Brief hesitation) Yeah, but even if we live in the same house, I still would never let it happen. I froze in place that time because I used to be scared. I didn’t now how to react, but I’m not anymore. That happened so so long ago, back when I was 13. (Pause) There you go again saying that he deserves to be locked up. Maybe reporting him was the right thing to do, but it definitely wasn’t the best thing for me. If you really cared about me like that, you would have set aside the fact that you’re my teacher and did the best thing for me no matter what. (Pause) But I do know! I’m mature enough to realize that you did what you did because you really care about me and think that you’re protecting me. But you should have never took my matters into your own hands. (Pause) I know what he did was wrong, (pause) sick, and disgusting, but my family was already falling apart and the last thing I wanted to do was add onto the drama. You have no idea what I was going through.
For the past two years, I tried so hard to forget every thing that happened. I wanted to move past it and never look back. But because of you, I had to recall every one of those dark memories. It became a much bigger part in my life, which was the complete opposite of what I hoped for. Did it cross your mind that I would have to stand in front of him, a judge, my family, and all of these strangers and tell them every detail of how he harassed me? Do you know how humiliating that felt? (Pause) Honestly, I don’t give a shit if I stopped him from violating other girls. To you, what I did was brave, but I don’t see myself as a notable person and neither did my parents. (Pause) They don’t think like you do. In their eyes, I made a mistake by not keeping my mouth shut. I only brought more trouble to them. It was hard for them to believe, he has lived with us for years, and has been a great family friend. I brought shame to my family because his relatives started spreading word about what happened to other people we know. I had to go through it alone. You should have never said anything, it was better kept a secret.