She just said it’s time to go now. Dismissing me from the family I had lived with for 4 months, 4 month. I was done with them, this is it the breaking point. I had always been dedicated to them, I know I am in their debt. But why do I feel unloved? LIke I was just something they had do to feel good about themselves.You know like, it does not matter what they did but why. I felt used. Like a tool to give them happiness.
I’’m past Mrs.Slade now her face does this funny thing when she sees my face. She touches my arm asking “If I'm okay? ’How --- how could I be okay, everything was going and had gone wrong. I just shake my hands and head so, I---- don’t scream. My father had abandoned me and hid from me. I thought I was lucky when they decided to take me in. But now I have to go back to fim. To the person that left me. I pass the family the oldest holds out his hand and I brush past him.I don’t want to touch his hand. A hand offered in such selfish and hurtful help.
Walking out the door I remember how they never even asked if I wanted to leave,but my time used up along with their generosity. They had worked so hard to find my Dad but never even thought I maybe wanted something else. Something better I just know now I never mattered to them it was my situation, I was something needing help not a person needing love. So they never appreciated me as a person. As I get into my dads car I nod once and just say “go please go”. I look back at that family walking to the gate confused at my quick exit. I see him I thought one of my best friends yelling “what the hell dude”.
As I stared at the little compact two story houses, I decided I would always feel loved. People always treated you right when you're famous. I was going to be an actor. I had always been able to make people laugh with the way I acted. With my hand motions and smile kinda like Bill Cosby. Something they never appreciated. I won’t need their love any more I will be free at last. I can depend on me to get what I need, because I will work harder than ever before.Then i wil be appreciated. By everybody.