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Sara Nesbitt

English

Poem

9-6-11

 Who am I?

Since I’m in a new class, a new environment, I’d like you to get to know me.

I’m Sara Nesbitt

My favorite things are my friends and softball.

I work hard in school always trying my best.

I have amazing friends to spend my time with, and a great family to come home to.

I love winter; it’s my favorite season.

I used to be a competitive gymnast.

I’m an only child.

I care way to much about everything.

I don’t like pictures.

I’m only 14.

And, my biggest fear is spiders.

But don’t worry my life is much deeper than that.

I love my life, and I wouldn’t change a thing.

Friends? Couldn’t ask for better ones

School? Best in the world

Life? It changes everyday.

I have many memories I will keep with me forever.

One memory I have is when my parents took me to gymnastics competition and I ended up winning first place. It was such an accomplishment; an amazing experience and it only pushed my determination more to work harder.

Also, one of my favorite memories is meeting one of my closest friends. It was first day of freshman year, I was a tiny little freshman that people mistaken for a shadow, I didn’t know anyone. But when I go into the bathroom I meet this tall blonde girl that hated Justin Bieber. Now, I can’t go a single day without talking to her and she’s the best friend you could ever have. We understand each other, relate to each other and I couldn’t ask for anyone better.

All of those things make up me,

the loves, hates, memories, and fears.

I’m Sara Nesbitt, and that’s who I’ll always be.

Sara Nesbitt

English

Poem

9-6-11

 Who am I?

Since I’m in a new class, a new environment, I’d like you to get to know me.

I’m Sara Nesbitt

My favorite things are my friends and softball.

I work hard in school always trying my best.

I have amazing friends to spend my time with, and a great family to come home to.

I love winter; it’s my favorite season.

I used to be a competitive gymnast.

I’m an only child.

I care way to much about everything.

I don’t like pictures.

I’m only 14.

And, my biggest fear is spiders.

But don’t worry my life is much deeper than that.

I love my life, and I wouldn’t change a thing.

Friends? Couldn’t ask for better ones

School? Best in the world

Life? It changes everyday.

I have many memories I will keep with me forever.

One memory I have is when my parents took me to gymnastics competition and I ended up winning first place. It was such an accomplishment; an amazing experience and it only pushed my determination more to work harder.

Also, one of my favorite memories is meeting one of my closest friends. It was first day of freshman year, I was a tiny little freshman that people mistaken for a shadow, I didn’t know anyone. But when I go into the bathroom I meet this tall blonde girl that hated Justin Bieber. Now, I can’t go a single day without talking to her and she’s the best friend you could ever have. We understand each other, relate to each other and I couldn’t ask for anyone better.

All of those things make up me,

the loves, hates, memories, and fears.

I’m Sara Nesbitt, and that’s who I’ll always be.

For my project, I researched a lot of different aspects of Dr. Seuss, such as his books, his background, and his style. I collaborated with both my mentor and a daycare teacher. I, then, created a book of SLA and how I grew through SLA in the style of a Dr. Seuss book.

(to see the rest, email me: sbeattie@scienceleadership.org) 

English Journal #49:

Respond to the quote: 

“If memory helps us to survive, forgetting helps us to go on living.” - Elie Wiesel 

This quote really makes you think. I think that forgetting bad things can help us move on and not dwell on the past. However, remembering may help us survive because you will not want those things to happen to you. If you forget, you will be happy but may not survive long. If you remember you may survive but not live. 

History Journal #10: 

~What is religion? 

Religion is where someone believes something that has to do with something spiritual. 

~Has religion helped the world more than it has hurt it, or hurt the world more than it has helped it? 

I think that religion has helped the world just as much as it has hurt it. Yes, religion can make people not like each other and even start wars, but it has also helped many people personally. For example, the wars in Iraq have been caused by religion as well as other things. 

English Journal #6: 

Write a paragraph starting with this phrase:

“I am always seeing…”

I am always seeing the wind blowing things all around me. My hair, the leaves, the branches, and the birds soaring in the wind. I am always seeing the clouds moving. I am always seeing the people walking. I am always seeing the world around me… but what do other people see? Do they see the world the same way I do? I am always seeing. 

"The White Man's Burden" response:

Take up a woman's burden by Maria Latorre

Take up the White Man’s burden.

With there self seen world

That no a woman can take away

Show no woman love

and spit on there face

because they an't smart

so better then a white man's burden

Take up a woman's burden.

Take up a woman's burden

who are strong but weak

how slaves over a stove to cook for her family

who works and go to school

while taking care of a kid

not like a white man who only can start a war

Take up a woman's burden

no of a white man

cuz weman don't care about skin

but about heart

cuz weman know how to love

and show kindness

even if they don't want to.

Take up a woman's burden

one that cleans all do

one that baleaves in freedom

one that know that all types of man

are dangerouse.

Who will never try to burden other

Or be Judgment of their peers.

Throughout the year mr. Block has constantly introduced me into themes I would never have looked into. He has made me realize that the world’s problems aren’t so easy to solve and that everybody is a little responsible. For example I would always ask why do things like sweatshops still exist. Mr. Block brought it to our attention that there is a system built around these horrible acts and that the honest answer is because you cant give it up. So I looked towards the workers and came to my own conclusion that ”The only way was to stop the process is if the whole country committed to not working at these places. But the reality is that these horrible, long hours, and low paying jobs are all they have.”- Sweatshop trial. 

I have also learned to look at people more equally and understand that freedom is a state of mind. In Finding Freedom by Jarvis Jay Masters it is easily arguable that he was more free incarcerated then ever before in his life. He found himself a new man and a buddhist while in prison. Upon meeting a lama of his religion he said to himself “Here’s a guy who can take me out of prison even as I remain here.” He also began to separate himself from his environment by meditation, as he attempted in “Seeking Silence” a chapter in the book. A negative example of this is the story “Wildwood”. Before she ran away, the girl lived with a mother who she couldn’t stand. In reality, she was free to do whatever she wanted but living with her mother she felt imprisoned and not free todo anything. 

I also learned about leaders and responsibility needed to maintain such a role. I found out that a title means nothing if respect isn’t held in that title. When studying the “Lord of the Flies” unit I theorized that “Authority doesn’t always depend on who is labeled as a leader, but more who is respected the most.” based on the leadership problems in the text. That theory is constantly proved with protests around the world. Those protestors(the people) are being lead by those who they respect and agree with as opposed to who is labeled as their leaders(their government). I was able to reflect on how responsibilities in my childhood can change my character in the future. “Certain responsibilities as a young teen can further Impact your life once you understand the values incorporated.”. 

This course has also taught me the importance on being able to view a situation through multiple vantage points, or “lenses”. We did a project on the book “Their Eyes Were Watching God.” where we took a scene out of the book and portrayed it through either another character’s point of view or a general lens(feminist, marxist, etc.). This skill that I acquired has not only helped me with other assignments in school, but also helps me to understand other people’s feelings and ideas. I found multiple units interesting, and a few of them topics that I would research myself. I feel as though I learned a lot this year and acquired a few skills that will continue to help me throughout life. 

• Ignore Natural Needs
• No Caring About Pollution
• Unlimited Resources
• Respect Everything
• Manipulate Environment
• Not Talking About/Shoving Down Throats

           Throughout the year, with both Copper Stream and Mr. Block, I have created many things that I thought I wasn’t capable of. When I look at both the History Class and English class, I can say that the things we did in here reminded me of kindergarten because the projects showed who we were and what level of creativity we are at. It also showed that we had no limits when it came to writing and Mr. Block just sat back helped us along the way. This whole year he guided through our projects but Mr. Block used a new sense of guiding….he never really told us the answer that we were so used to getting. I think that led me to all of my ideas because there was never really a limit. But I wasn’t always like that, I was always shy with my work, I think its really when I finished my descriptive piece, I saw that Mr. Block’s way of teaching. I was always scared to talk to him because he would change up my ideas but now I see that he has helped me finalize everything and anything from my papers to my podcasts to my ideas. Also, Copper Stream did a lot of collaboration work inside and outside of school so we were never cooped up into a room. We had freedom and learning mixed in together. There are three main things that I have learned about how I can tell my story, the different perspectives that are out there, and how the world isn’t always fair. All of these general understandings helped me become a better writer and helped me have a whole new point of view on how the world will see my work in the future.

With in the first week of school, we had to write our descriptive piece. We had no limit to what we could write about. The next day after writing our pieces, we gathered up into a circle and shared our story. That was when I realized that everyone has a story, it is who we are and the way we chose to tell it is always different. But in the end, it always defines us as people. I saw a whole new point of view on my class and the different individuals learning a long side me. The first project we did was the descriptive essay and we had many mini lessons leading up to the final piece. In this piece we had to write descriptively, using our senses and we had to make sure that the reader not only read our piece but also felt it. When it came time to writing, I felt that "all moments in life are important, but not all are special" (Revised Descriptive Essay Post). I felt as if I could describe at least one thing from each of the years that I was living, in detail but I didn’t know what to focus it on so I chose to write about my camera because it caught all of the emotions, actions, and moments from my past years. After that project, the language unit came next and I felt that I had a strong connection to this unit because my family speaks multiple languages and I act as if a translator. Until I wrote everything down, I didn’t realize how much I could help my family and what I am capable. Language has changed my life so much. When we were asked to talk about what language meant to us, I said: "I think that the language and the way you use it depends on how you grew up and self choices. Your speech is a part of your identity and your identity is what people will know once you have the power to speak. That's how I see it" (Worksheet Scene: Your Language Identity).

While growing up my parents would use words that weren’t real but I would say those words like they were real. "I’ve grown into those words thinking they were real and usable but they weren’t. They were only to the “fresh off the boat” people because that’s the slang they spoke" (Q2 Family Dictionary). In the end, "I struggled with my reflection because I had so much to say but there are so few words to describe it with. This is a feeling hat I can never describe. That's how amazing it is. I've learned that what I do is not necessarily a common thing and that putting it on paper makes me feel proud and happy of what I can do. Writing this autobiography was a blast" (Language Autobiography Reflection Sheet).

Language isn’t the only thing I learned in this class, I’ve learned that I can speak my mind in this class and discuss my ideas with others. Throughout the whole year, I had problems with sticking to one main idea. I would get a bazillion ideas and become sad when I couldn’t use them. During the Art in the Open unit, my group and I concluded that "We had so many ideas but we couldn’t portray it out correctly so we just had to drop them. It came to a point where the deadline was coming up and we had nothing" (Art in the Open Reflection). But when I finally got my ideas together, I had a work of art! An example of this is the podcast about my father’s journey and the boundaries he had to over come while making his way to America. "I tried my hardest trying to pull listeners into my dad's journey and life. I made sure he described everything" (Podcast Reflection Sheet).

During the whole year, my personal ideas have allowed me to impersonate, create, and be the person I probably would never be. We started off the year with the Spirituality Role Play unit. In this unit, we were given a role to research, answer questions too, and impersonate as we sat in a circle. I was given the role Karen Armstrong. It was the first time I got to act like some one I wasn’t. I always thought that role plays needed scripts, a stage, and actors…like Broadway but we didn’t. All we needed was our research and a big circle. For our next role play, I chose the role of King Louis the sixteenth. In this role, I had to act like a spoiled king. I often said during the role play: “All men are born equal to their estate. Nothing more, and a lot less. That's how it was when I was King and everything was fine. Also, if a man needs to be killed, then so be it…what does it have to do with me? I am living. I do not need to worry about any of the peasants. They barely do enough as it is” or I would be carefree and say: “I am royalty so don't worry…you can worship me as you please. People called me the wishy washy king because I satisfied neither the royalists nor the reformers.”

But my personal ideas didn’t stop there, the class and Mr. Block soon explored the Keystone Pipeline and how it affected everyone. We had to look in the point of view from a tiny fish to the big CEO man overseeing the blueprints. I chose to do three monologues…one was a girl that was saying good bye to her tree, the other person was an actor that was protesting a long the White House, and the last one was a conflicted worker building the pipeline in Canada. For this project, I had to keep an open mind to all of the point of views, Personally, I hated the idea of the pipeline so I wanted to focus on that but there are so many different point of views on hate like sadness, confliction, confusion, or anger. All of those things could apply. My first monologue had a girl named Janie talking to her tree, Bruce. Bruce was a tree that she grew up with and now that her family has chosen to move away from the pipeline, it meant Janie had to move away from Bruce. Janie starts to tell Bruce his expected future: "Everything will be gone but we’ll soon be gone before it" and "I tried to argue back saying we’re leaving you, our view of everything, and our memories" (Janie, Monologue #4). The next monologue was based off of the protesting in front of the White House about the Keystone Pipeline. I involved an actor into this scene because I wanted to shed a light that regular working class people aren’t the only ones with a say in what goes on. Many celebrities protest and stand up for their rights. Daryl Hannah, an actor, did that and that is why I placed her as a main character in my monologue. “With that one cry for change, the U.S Park Police zip-tied a nylon cuff restraint onto my writs and threw me into the back of the car and I was brought to the slammer“ (Daryl Hannah, Monologue #1). As I said above, I can be someone that I am in when I write. When writing “The Missing Chapter 26” to the book, Things Fall Apart, it was no different. I could say things like: “I am a man, a man of my tribe and family. But the man inside of me is now gone.”

                   Throughout most of the year, we had the honor to work with Kate McGrath. She helped us create a play with her creative ideas and different techniques of writing. At first, I didn’t know what I was going to write about…what struck out to me…I didn’t want to write about family problems, or friendship and their dramas...I just wanted to write something that no one would know about so I explored the websites that Mr. Block gave to us and crossed a video…”Heaven’s Border”. This video struck me at the heart because my family came from a different country with nothing, legally and it was already hard enough for them. I wanted to show people what others will do to pursue their dreams and I wanted people to try to understand the hardships people go through for freedom. In my play, I had three main characters, strangers that would come together to make a make-shift family. Together, they flee North Korea by entering China, Laos, Thailand, and then they must finally seek asylum in South Korea. The journey is not easy because of the abusive smugglers and heartless border officials. At the end of the journey, only two of the main characters make it out of the three that started the journey. During the whole play, I was the minds of all of the characters from the cruel smugglers to seven year old girl trying to change her life. I was everyone and anyone in my play. I would either say: “Nuna, nuna, wake up! We’re all going to die!” (Dong Dong) to a receptionist in North Korea: “Thank you. Respect the general! Long Live the Sun of the 21st CENTURY! - Kim Jong Il. FIGHTING FIGHTING!” One of the reasons I was so interested in the play is because I got to create everything and bring in all of the work and my creativity together. I worked day and night on the play, finding info and watching more videos…and when I finally understood how the officials could treat the defectors so badly, I wrote the last part of the play. I had the main character who was caught, shot, and beaten say: “There are guards watching me until I can walk again and when I can walk, I will have to wear this weird monitor thing around my leg so they can find me. I have to keep it hidden too. But when I am done this torture, I will get out and find you guys. My mom has money for an airplane ticket so I don’t have to revisit any of those places” (Ji Yong, Breaking Borders).

            Throughout the year, with both Copper Stream and Mr. Block, I have created many things that I thought I wasn’t capable of. When I look at both the History Class and English class, I can say that the things we did in here reminded me of kindergarten because the projects showed who we were and what level of creativity we are at. It also showed that we had no limits when it came to writing and Mr. Block just sat back helped us along the way. This whole year he guided through our projects but Mr. Block used a new sense of guiding….he never really told us the answer that we were so used to getting. I think that led me to all of my ideas because there was never really a limi. But I wasn’t always like that> I was always shy with my work, I think its really when I finished my descriptive piece, I saw that Mr. Block’s way of teaching. I was always scared to talk to him because he would change up my ides but now I see that he helped me finalize everything. Also, Copper Stream did a lot of collaboration work inside and outside of school so we were never cooped up into a room. We had freedom and learning mixed in together.

·       Everyone has a story, it is who we are and the way we chose to tell it is always different. But in the end, it always defines us as people.

o   Art In the Open:

§  "We had so many ideas but we couldn’t portray it out correctly so we just had to drop them. It came to a point where the deadline was coming up and we had nothing" (Art in the Open Reflection).

o   Descriptive Essay

§  "All moments in life are important, but not all are special" (Revised Blog Post).

o   Language Auto Bio

§  "I’ve grown into these words thinking they were real and usable but they weren’t. They were only to the “fresh off the boat” people because that’s the slang they spoke." (Q2 Family Dictionary)

§  "I struggled with my reflection because I had so much to say but there are so few words to describe it with. This is a feeling hat I can never describe. That's how amazing it is. I've learned that what I do is not necessarily a common thing and that putting it on paper makes me feel proud and happy of what I can do. Writing this autobiography was a blast"

o   Discussion

§  "I think that the language and the way you use it depends on how you grew up and self choices. Your speech is a part of your identity and your identity is what people will know once you have the power to speak. That's how I see it" (Scene: Your Language Identity: http://moodle.scienceleadership.org/mod/forum/discuss.php?d=1583 )

o   Podcasts

§  "I tried my hardest trying to pull listeners into my dad's journey and life. I made sure he described everything." (Podcast Reflection)

o   The Some bodies:

§  “Goals passed around like secrets, and the dreams of for filling the idea of becoming some bodies. Stories being passed down from generation to generation, spreading like the obligation of following the latest trends on the stands. But none of those things are ever forgotten. Just placed somewhere else other then the top of the mind.”

·       My personal ideas have allowed me to impersonate, create, and the people I want to be.

o   Role Plays:

§   

o   Monologues

§  "Everything will be gone but we’ll soon be gone before it." or "I tried to argue back saying we’re leaving you, our view of everything, and our memories" - Janie, Monologue #4

§  With that one cry for change, the U.S Park Police zip-tied a nylon cuff restraint onto my writs and threw me into the back of the car and I was brought to the slammer.  (Daryl Hannah, Monologue #1)

§  https://docs.google.com/document/d/1suPBJiZMJCzFjTaoWDRhkIQo4CSAmnTiyM_2adX8RcY/edit

o   Discussions

§  Things Fall Apart https://docs.google.com/document/d/19uKxAJYz6bWwvgDwqN2Af00iQAG8ZHLAzBhCnjmFy6A/edit

·        

o   Plays:

§  https://docs.google.com/document/d/16AMTojiVy9nAJB_LAvESmHDAb0YT1_0Fh_yWRNoZ1ec/edit

§  “Nuna, nuna, wake up! We’re all going to die!” (Dong Dong, Monologues)

§  “Thank you. Respect the general! Long Live the Sun of the 21st CENTURY! - Kim Jong Il. FIGHTING FIGHTING!” (Telephone lady, Breking Borders)

§  “There are guards watching me until I can walk again and when I can walk, I will have to wear this weird monitor thing around my leg so they can find me. I have to keep it hidden too. But when I am done this torture, I will get out and find you guys. My mom has money for an airplane ticket so I don’t have to revisit any of those places.” (Ji Yong, Breaking Borders)

·       Inequality is something seen all around the world. However, we have the power to change that. 

o   Play

o   “Rich and Poor. Rich get richer and poor gets poorer.”

§  In response to question two, it asks for my opinion of the statement: “Poor countries need investment, so it’s a good thing when transnational companies invest there.” I do not agree with the statement because poor countries don’t need transnational companies to invest into them because if it was like the way our class portrayed it, then that would mean the transitional companies are abusing the country’s people and harming their environment. To make the situation better, the poor countries should work with the respectful companies instead of trying to make a quick buck that isn’t even worth that much. The poor countries should know that they don’t have to be abused for their land in order to make money. There are other ways when it comes to making money while keeping the people of the country and the environment healthy and clean.

§   

o   The communist manifesto

Dear Seniors,

Laptop turn in is Thursday, June 7th starting promptly at 10:30. Please come with your laptop and charger, if you no longer have a charger there is a $25.00 fee.  

During this time you will be cleaning out your locker and turning in all materials issued from the school. If you are missing any issued materials please check in with your teacher about the cost of those items. 

Seniors should report to the following rooms:

D band Global report to 506 Latimer

B band Econ report to 313 Rami

B band Global report to 303 Dunn

D band Econ report to 308 Best 

Thank you,

Mr. Lehmann and Ms. Hull

 ​Before I was in Mr. Block's English and History class I never really thought that I was good at writing. Sometimes, as all writers do, I would get stuck. I never really knew what to do when that happened; usually I would just give up and try again another day. In Mr. Block’s class I learned how to get through those ruts and now when I am not in a so-called writing rut creative topics and concepts burst out of me like a geyser. When I think of the beginning of the year it reminds me of the first time I ever really noticed that I had the potential of being a good writer. The class had just finished reading a boatload of short stories and we had been assigned to write a letter to anybody of our choice. This letter had to have many different quotes in it from the short stories. I decided to write to my father and express all of the things that I had wished I could say to him if I was not so scared. I wrote, "I really don’t get to tell you how I really feel most of the time. I am usually scared to tell you because I am scared of you. Before I start I just want to say that I love you and what I say in this letter can and will change our relationship forever. Weather it makes our relationship better or worse I will not regret saying how I feel because I really want you to know. I want you to know how you have slowly started to destroy everything that I thought was my life." When I finally read my Short Story Letter I was astounded at how good it sounded. I felt a little bit better about my writing skills, but I still wasn't too sure of myself. Little did I know that would soon change.

In class we have had many discussions about many things, some of them would even last all class period. Discussions can change your perspective on things if you keep your mind open and really listen. In class we have had many class trials (almost like an actual court trial), we were all split into groups and had to find evidence to defend our group from the charges that were being pressed. We did two trials in the class one was the Cortez/Aztec Trial and the other was the Sweat Shop Trial. Everybody would go into the trial with his or her own set idea/perspective on what actually happened. But after the trial, after everybody heard what had to be said their views changed because interesting and reliable points were made. After the trial everybody had to write a trial response. When you read all of these responses and saw what different people thought about every single part of the trials.

            Over the course of the year we have also focused on freedom and deeper understandings of oppression. Hope can function as a support system. Just like in “Night”, in the holocaust all people had were hope and their families. But when their families had gone all they had was hope. To keep moving on they used the hope of being free and surviving carries them on. As well as in the movie “The Farm” these men are in jail and they have nothing to hope for, but to be proved innocent or to be free. It is interesting to see people’s stories and to try to understand how some of them feel. Another project that went with this unit is Art in the Open, we had to Pick a location 4 blocks away from the school and create and perform a creative piece to the school. The Leah Stein Dance Company helped us get in touch with our inner creativity.

            As I said before, I never thought that I was a good writer. But I realized when you work hard you can surpass your own expectations. It is very interesting how you can go from not wanting or knowing how to write a good essay to taking it on like it is almost nothing. I have written a couple essays for Mr. Block’s class such as The Lord of the Flies Comparison Essay to The Thesis Paper. I now understand how to do these things, it is important to have good grammar and amazing writing skills. Now that I have those things I can utilize them so they would work out in my favor. Writing essays for colleges and jobs is a skill that is needed. As well as you have to sound professional. All thanks to a great teacher and a great year of learning.

My point of divergence is about the killing of George Washington during the battle of Princeton, and the thought of us  losing the revolution, and the reminiscing on how that would have conflicted with the future of us as a country.

The future that I envisioned, was that most of the land in the Midwest would most likely be all Britain’s including the thirteen colonies, and Mexico would have taken over Texas because there was no Mexican American war, and the Midwest would have been shared between England, Mexico, and Great Britain, which is located in the UK.  I also said that because of Great Britain’s harsh laws on freedom of speech  when it came to the civil rights movement the rulers of Britain will terminate the proceedings. I also mentioned the Native Americans and how they will just become a part of Britain’s society.

         Overall, I thought this project was a very good learning experience, but overall I think the most difficult part was creating your own history and your own future of something you made up in your mind because there were so many events that occurred in history that could have been an extent to what could have happened but finding them deep within the context was very difficult.

Link to project: click here

• traveling different places
• riots
• protests
• connection higher people
• get alliances
• demonstrations
• conferences/gatherings
• campaigns
• rallies
• social networking
• speeches
• boycotts
• public awareness
• petitions
• marches
• getting laws passed
• propaganda
• letter writing
• violence

• 'Such a struggle leaves one stronger for it. Nonviolence is a weapon of the strong.'
• 'The perfect state is reached only when mind and body and speech are in proper coordination'
• 'The law of love will, just as the law of gravitation will work. 

Morgan Taylor                                                                                                      October 11, 2011

Dear Mr. Darryl Taylor,

The first quarter of my school year is almost up. I have learned so much and part of that learning was reading short stories in English class. So far we have read 3 important short stories, but I only wish to share with you the two that really spoke to me and somehow related to our relationship at the moment. “Like a Winding Sheet” and “Wildwood” are the two. Brace yourself dad it’s about to get really deep.

I really don’t get to tell you how I really feel most of the time. I am usually scared to tell you because I am scared of you. Before I start I just want to say that I love you and what I say in this letter can and will change our relationship forever. Weather it makes our relationship better or worse I will not regret saying how I feel because I really want you to know. I want you to know how you have slowly started to destroy everything that I thought was my life.

Remember that morning; you know exactly the one I am talking about. The one when you were screaming at my mom at the top of your lungs. What time was it again? O, yes I remember now it was 3 AM on a Tuesday morning. Your yelling and screaming woke my sister and me up. We knew what was coming we just didn’t want to believe it. You then yelled at us to go into the movie room downstairs so we can have a “Family Meeting”. I would say it was more of a slow, painful murder of my life, or what I thought was my life. You did not explain, but expressed with anger and hate that you and my mother were not happy and that she wants you out of the house. You then explain with no regret what so ever in your voice that you had cheated. My mother cut in for a second or two and explained that she found out three years ago and decided to forgive you because she loves you. No not loved you LOVES YOU! Remember your two daughters that you are supposed to love and protect from harm were crying and sobbing for hours. It lasted until 8:15, I don’t even know why. Maybe it was because we were trying to comprehend how everything in our lives were and still are a lie. Do you feel bad daddy? Do you feel bad for ruining our lives? I asked you and what did you say? “I am a very cold man Morgan, so therefore no I don’t feel bad at all.”That did it for me and I just wanted to get away from you for however long I could.

       I remember from the short story “Wildwood” there was a quote that was probably one of the feelings I was feeling that day. The quote read "And at that moment, for reasons you will never quite understand, you are overcome by a feeling, the premonition, that something in your life is about to change" (page 76). Let me explain this to you. Now that you have practically ruined this family I will never be able to look at you the same way, my mom now has to pay all the bills and can’t really afford all of it, you don’t even understand. You know how your father left you and your family to provide for yourselves while he had a great life with his new wife and family. How hard it was for you having to get a job at 13 just to stay in an apartment. Why would you want that for your children? Our situation might be a little better but it is the same scenario.

Right now from me there is a lot of hate towards you. I just feel like I can’t do anything to express it. This reminds me of the quote from the short story "Like a Winding Sheet" "But he couldn't bring himself to talk to her roughly or even threaten to strike her like a lot of men might have done. He wasn't made that way." (page 200). I can’t say what I feel or think to you because you are my father and I love you too much, but at the same time I feel as if you were never my real father to begin with, I feel I know nothing about you or what my life really is. I want to not care if I talk to you with a stern voice or a little attitude because my life would be a whole lot easier.

       Then one day out of nowhere I just got really angry. I ran upstairs as fast as I could and told you off. I yelled and screamed, it just felt so good. I felt like I had power over you sad I could say whatever I wanted. I felt kind of bad, but I felt as if you didn’t care so why should I? In the “Wildwood” there was a line or two that said, "I almost felt sorry for her. This is how you treat your mother? she cried. And if I could I would have broken the entire length of my life across her face, but instead I screamed back, And this is how you treat your daughter” (page 78). I felt the same way when I was yelling at you to get the hell out of my family’s damn house. I want to break my entire span of my life across your face. Everything we have and had is a lie. You were lying to my face my entire life.  It was almost as if I didn’t see you as family any more. "Like a Winding Sheet" says, "The knowledge that he had struck her seeped through him slowly he was appalled but he couldn't drag his fist away from her face" (page 210). I felt almost like that. I couldn’t stop myself.
    Before you resent me for however long you live. I want you to know that I still love you. It will just take me some time to really love you like I did before all this mess happened. Like you said, you did failed. You failed to protect me, to protect me from the monster we call Darryl Thomas Taylor.

From the daughter that loved you most,
Morgan Ann Taylor