Me Slide-Carolina Ortiz

Untitled presentation
For my slide I wanted to keep it a bit simple but still have it be aesthetically pleasing. I chose my colors by making sure that they had good contrast with each other. I used the rule of thirds to separate my things evenly and made it so the audience would mainly have to focus in the left side of my slide. I decided to make my pictures bleed off the page so that I could make my font big so that people would understand the meaning of the pictures. Lastly the empty space is there to give nice contrast to the rest of my slide.
I chose to write "DARE TO DREAM" on my slide because I believe that dreaming is a very powerful thing and it is something that no one should stop doing. The girl in the corner is thinking great things so that's why I decided to put a pink explosion cloud to show how big her dreams are. 

Who I Am in One Slide...

This project was to challenge our knowledge and expertise of creating and designing slides and presentations by directing us to create one slide and explaining who we are on that one slide...
I made my slide colorful and contrasting so others can clearly see what is on it. I decided that it should include a word cloud for creativity points and also- if you make something harder to understand, others will try harder to understand it. So, I made mine a little complex, so you'd have to pay attention to understand it in a glance.
I made my text big and smaller so others could understand what was text and what was a title or something like that. Of course, I went over it like, five times and still don't think it's perfect. But then I thought, "Well, what is?" and promptly checked it one more time as a final copy.
I hope you understand it and get the message!
Leah Bradstreet- Who Am I- (1)

My Slide, Kendall

Tech Sign

This slide is used to represent what I cherish in life, music and animals. I choose to make the words the my main focus, so they could start from the left and look to the right sort of allow their eyes to go in that direction. I made the heart a dull red so that so that it would blend well with the rest of the sign and the letter a light green to allow the letter to contrast well with the bright red heart. The picture was to show how music and animals can relate to each other. I also choose this one to choose a life situation instead of an animated version to allow a connection with the person seeing it.


Miserable McDonalds

*plunges toilet* I can’t believe I am cleaning this damn toilet again. I come in here day in and day out, and tell myself I am going to quit this god forsaken job. But who am I kidding, I know I need the money and don’t have too many options here. Why can’t people just have the decency to do this crap at home, it would make my life a lot easier and I’m sure be a lot more comfortable for them. Now on to the urinals which believe it or not are worse to clean, you would understand if you knew what it is like to clean poop from a urinal. I’m not dealing with this right now, I’ll let Randy do it when he clocks in I don’t got time for this. *exits bathroom*

Now I have to clean the rest of the mess in the damn restaurant. *Grabs broom* Look at all these french fries on the ground, it’s like a whole order of them. *Sweeps* They actually don’t look half bad *eats one* mmm, it’s delicious. *Whispers* Oh crap. Hey boss I was just uh cleaning up here. What I didn’t eat those french fries off the ground, what do I look like eating fries off the floor. What are you talking about? I what? Wait a min.. Okay look I know that I am not the best worker at this McDonalds but you can’t fire me I really need this job. But I do actually work around here. I’ll admit I… But I’m not making excuses. Okay I will get all of my stuff and never come back then.

Who ever needed a stupid job like that one anyway huh? All they make you do is miserable, degrading work just to make freaking minimum wage, it’s totally not worth it. Fine I will show the world that I am better than that sorry excuse for a job, and that I could make it perfectly fine without them. Well at least if you look on the bright side, I won’t need to almost kill myself everyday after work. I also now have experience with a job that I really don’t like, so I know moving forward what to look for in a job so I don’t make the same mistake twice. So I guess it wasn’t a total lose after all. Now it’s time to go make my ex-manager's’ job living hell as a customer.


White Canary

Sara and Raechel were best friends since 2nd grade. They had just came back from seeing Straight Outta Compton. When Raechel and Sara had went through an alleyway Raechel came out on the other side leaving Sara bleeding out on the freezing dirty ground. Our main character is Laura who is Sara’s older sister. (You are Laura in your writing)I am a rookie detective who has a nice family and a rich husband. (Laura is speaking)I was talking to my brother Tommy since I was scared that Sara hasn’t called or texted in 3 weeks. “Where in the world could Sara be. I miss her” I said. When I was walking down an alleyway I had noticed had saw a hand hanging from a dumpster so I wanted to see if it was real or not so I opened up the dumpster and she had saw Sara there laying with a stab wound right in her heart. I had screamed in terror and then she called the cops for help. My husband Oliver had showed up at the crime scene and then he said “what happened why did you call and then talk really fast.” I could not even face Oliver as he saw the paramedics carrying Sara’s body on the stretcher. “We have to tell our kids later about what happened to Sara”. Oliver told Laura “ I- I didn’t want to leave them in the house alone when you called they are in the car right now”. As we turned around we had saw that our kids. Slade and Roy saw their aunt laying down on a stretcher with a blood stain on her heart they just looked at their parents and they family had grieved together. Two days later it was Sara’s funereal, I had looked around to see who was present and who wasn’t. Everybody was there except the reserved seat in the front row. Laura had remembered that she had specifically reserved that seat or Sara’s best friend Raechel. After the funeral I had asked Oliver and their kids if they saw Raechel they all had said no. Laura had went to an abandoned club and went to the basement finding her hidden cave. I was actually a vigilante who helps people and does not kill. She has a white costume and fights with two nightsticks. Her vigilante name is White Canary, she travels the night to find out who had killed her sister. One night she had saw thugs robbing a liquor store near Sara’s death site. White Canary tries to fight all of the thugs by herself and leave one standing to interrogate him. She is getting pummeled by the thugs, When she looks up she sees a masked hooded figure in the night. He beats up all of the thugs and then interrogates one of them and he says that he saw a red headed woman about 25yrs old, and also a knife in her right hand. White Canary stands up and says “ Who are you why are you investigating the exact murder i’m investigating. “I am investigating a death of my wife’s sister’s death”. Shocked Laura had said “Oliver is that you”? Soon after their reunion they both had put together all of they had found out about Sara’s death. Both of the leads they had lead into dead ins.They chose to have Tommy take the kids to Spain to keep them out of trouble. Tommy, Slade, and Roy checked into a hotel called Nanda Parbat. Laura had called over to Tommy and the kids to check on them. Oliver kept trying to figure out why Raechel hadn’t answer her phone or e-mails. Slade and Roy were watching tv when they heard glass shattering in Tommy’s room; they rushed into his room when they had saw Sara repeatedly stabbing Tommy in the heart. As the teenagers watched in fear as their uncle died of blood loss, Sara was looking strange when she was walking closer and closer to the boys White Canary came through the window and knocked Sarah out cold. “Mom”, the boys yelled as they gave her a hug. As Oliver was coming up the stairs he saw his best friend dead on the bed.



Can You Guys Hear Me?

(Phone Rings, picks up the phone) Hey, Ashley! Yeah I know (pause) did you see her trying to sit at our table like she was one of us?! (pause) Right, like that is sooo unacceptable. (pause) She was what! She is not taking Jaden to prom, he's my ex and he still likes me so he´s obviously gonna ask me. (pause) What kind of girl asks a boy to prom anyway! (pause) Right! She's such a loser. Anyways I was hoping Jaden would have a grey suit because I just got this pink dress and it has hints of grey in it and it would be soo cute with a grey suit. No, Ashley, he def is going to ask me, just like how Jake´s gonna ask you. Don't be scared, it's going to happen, who else does he have? (pause) Exactly… Yeah so… (gets cut off) Oh okay, yeah imma show my mom my dress too, see if she likes it.

(Looks out bedroom door and screams) Mom! Dad! Ha, like they would answer. (Mocks mother) Yes, Amber that dress is so pretty. (Acts like father) Oh no that dress is too short for you to be wearing. (Turns back into herself) I don't know what I was thinking. Seventeen years of my life and only talked to my parents for about ten of those. Ha. (Holds dress in front of her as if she was looking at herself in the mirror), Hey, mom don't you think this would look cute. (pretends to be mom) Yes darling, you are gorgeous. (back to herself) Hey dad, you know Jaden´s gonna take me out to prom. (mocks dad) He better get you home by twelve. (disappointed look, stomps hard like tired) Maybe i'm just hoping one day they’ll finally answer back. Sike… (small giggle) Maybe I just keep forgetting my irrelevance to existence. (sarcastic voice) For some reason I keep thinking i'm somebody special. But it’s so crazy; in school, EVERYBODY knows my name. Most popular in my whole school. (does a little snobby pose of herself in the mirror) but when I get home it’s like I’m completely invisible. (looks sad and goes to sit down on her bed)

Fourth grade,(pause) mom I got an A on my science test! (biggest smile slowly fades from her face) Oh, after you finish your phonecall? Okay... Fifth Grade,(pause) Dad this dumb teacher.. (cuts herself off and pretends to be her father type on the laptop) NOT NOW AMBER! (goes back to herself) Oh okay. (plays around with her fingers as she slowly walks back to sit on the bed). (Big sigh as she plumps onto the bed) And lets not forget how you used that same line six grade through the rest of my current life. You know, I get it now. I understand you not wanting a daughter and the pain of having me anyway. I understand I am not what you wanted. One joyful night turned into your biggest mistake. I know.

Everyone at school always says, “Amber has the cool parents” or “ Amber gets whatever she wants from her parents.” But I don’t! I want their attention. I want their acceptance. I want to be that child they don’t regret. I just wanna be something they care about. (starts crying into her hands) (knock knock on the door) (she looks up at the door) Mom?


The End
Better Version

The Pleasure and Pain In My Neck

(Kneels on floor) What's this I feel? A sharp pain in my neck, flashbacks of mine (foosh). My mind sounds something like that. My friend that I hold dear, clinging onto my body, holding me like prey on his bed. His name is Nick. I'm trying to move back, but I can't. I am stopped by his forceful arms and thirst for my blood. The fangs in my neck are so pleasurable and painful at the same time. But it all hurts. Not just my neck, but the pain in my brain is arising. I see a light, that keeps flashing, as my memories are flowing by. My memory is coming back, people who I cannot recall until now; my parents.

I'm Mei, and no, I am not a vampire, simply human, but I am very difficult to understand. I remember nothing from my past. The only person in my life was Nick, the vampire, and that's all I can recall. I sought him for answers, and for years he refused. I want answers, now that I am 18 years old, I think I can handle it.  Except I wanted to talk about it, not become someone's meal. Why now, in our home, did he give into the temptation, to bite me. I wish he told me instead, but I don't want him to let go, because, this is the only way I can look into my past, without lies. (sighs)

I see my parent standing, at the edge of a cliff. Answers answers, I need the answers! “Mommy, Daddy, where are you going.” I hear groans and moans, from the people who I seem to reach my hand out to. Long fangs comes down from their face and.. “ow OW!” the friend that I love, is clenching my neck even harder. Knowing that I am about to witness something painful (grabs neck)

The past begins to lead me to, wearing something sticky red. Blood, its blood. My white nightgown is stained in dread of red. The taste and texture do not tempt me, it's gross. (closes eyes and shakes head) I want it to go away. But my parents seem to enjoy it. As I reach out my hand, I notice the long teeth, and the major blood stains on their clothing. “WATCH OUT” says Nick in my memory. But why is Nick here. I hear the sound of gunfire, and I drop to the floor. I sat up, but my parents never did. (puts hands on face)

(sits down in chair) He took my parents away, without giving them a chance to redeem themselves. Lights, I am seeing more lights! MY head, oh my head...it spinning and it wont stop. Nick's fangs hurt, but these memories are killing me more. (stands up quickly and clenches hair)

My brain is playing like a record player. The Nick in my memories raises and protects me. I feel hurt, because, how can the person who killed my parents, raise me without showing any shame. He lied for so long. Experiencing both good and bad memories at the same time is difficult. I don't want to see them, good nor bad, they still traumatize me. I am afraid to lose the people I love again. Nick, my parents, the fear , the pain, the love and the blood. They all won't stop spinning around me.

His teeth are so painful and pleasurable I am losing consciousness. My mind is nonstop. Now that the bad things are over, I see him, only him. Caring and loving me. Before my mind stops playing like a cassette tape, I feel the tears that I have kept in for so long, run down my face. And I hug ?”
7ike a want something to come back.)

This feels like a dream. It's harder and harder to register all of this. Even though I know Nick is still at my neck, he will eventually let go. He will leave me, just like the rest everybody else in my life. Lights lights, flashing bright lights! I'm falling….Somebody please catch me! (pauses, and puts hood over head) Nick catching me, is the last thing I remember. He erased...my memories. (sits down from 3 seconds with eyes closed, then opens eyes)

(Jumps up) I'm awake and unafraid . I have everything I need. Now a new life begins, with a sweet and bitter kiss, from the 18 year old man whom I love.
Mono

Soaring

Yeah, the needle hurts a bit. You’ll get used to it. Don’t worry about it, it’s your first time. Here, let me do it for you. Bite down on the belt, okay? Sweet. You got it. Alright, close your eyes. And, there. You’re done. Does it feel like you’re flying? That’s what it felt like for me. Yeah, don’t worry about it. Just relax. Flow with it.

I barely remember my first time. It was pretty great, though. I was fucking soaring. Just riding the moment, you know? You just hit the switch and every day’s a good day. Everything’s beautiful.

Well, define ‘problem.’ Everyone’s addicted to something. That’s my motto. Take a stockbroker: take away their money and they’ll withdraw, just like a priest if you take his faith. Everyone has something that they can’t live without. All we have to do is make sure we don’t run out of it.

You’ll learn to love it, though. I know it hurts the first time, but you’ll get over it. Some people even get addicted to the sting. Can you imagine? I wonder if they can get their fill just by sticking themselves with a needle. That would be much easier, huh? Yeah, just lie down, I’ll be there in a second. Do you remember when we were fifteen, and none of this had happened yet? When the worst thing we’d done was a little weed and some cigarettes? We used to get drunk together, and it meant the world. Man, that was a long, long time ago, huh? I felt so old.

Do you ever feel like the world is so far away? Like, time is just a thing, or something like that. You ever feel so quiet, so gone that everything just moves around you, and you’re frozen? Stuck to the moment? Can you hear me? Wow, you’re gone. Have a nice trip! *chuckles* Gimme a second… I’ll be there soon.


New World

                      


Omi! I missed you a lot today. (silence, mother asks question) Oh… my first day of American school was interesting. (Looks uncertain to continue) Oh, I’m fine,  just a little tired from today. (silence) It went well for the most part. Like, when I first got to the front doors, it was so good to see everything so far was going smoothly. The bad men seemed nowhere in sight…(silence mom asks who the bad men were)  You know the bad men, that have ruined our home, the reason we ran to here in the first place, but let me continue you to tell you mommy. Everyone was safe and whole, but many people also looked very glum and tired.This still confuses me because who would not be excited to attend school in a place where students only have to worry about school, whilst at school! Back in Damascus, I would sit in Mr.Hasan’s class and the numbers reminded me of how many people we have lost, and how our numbers are exponentially declining. I figured the numbers and signs should have made me think of equations, however I only would think of equations that would include something of a miracle, variable “x”, plus ourselves, equalling a better life for you, Amina and I. Ms. Aisha’s class reminded me of misery and sadness instead of actual literature itself. (silence) No, no ,no. I loved Ms.Aisha, but I will never forget when she glumly walked into class, with tears streaming down her face. We didn’t know why Allah would make someone so beautiful and kind sad. And when she told us her house had been bombed while her husband and her son were still inside, I just lost it (silence). (Wipes mother's tears away) Oh, mommy, do not cry, all we can do is pray that they are in Jannah (heaven). Why do these things happen to innocent people, including a beautiful man, who had been married to his beautiful wife for only two years, and his beautiful son that had only been alive for a year. (holds and looks down at mother’s hands). Anyway… before I went to my first class, a loud bell sounded throughout the school, surprising me at first. It has been the first time in months that a frightening sound has not been followed by a painful, bloody event. After 30 minutes of roaming around, I eventually find my first class, debate.“ Hello,my name is Shariah Abdulla”, I told the teacher, who looked to be kind, Alhamdulillah.  “Oh! the new girl, of course, of course, Welcome!”, he replied enthusiastically. After a little introduction to the class, telling them my age and favorite hobby, I sat down behind a girl with a crown of golden on her haid. She turned around and sort of snickered and pointedly observed my hijab(headscarf). “Where are you from?” she asked like there was something up her nose. When I told her I was from Syria, she said something like, “Yup, I figured. Well...this class should be interesting for you. Have fun”. And with that she turned away, not without giving a sickly smile first(silence, mother comments). You think that was suspicious! Wait till I tell you what happened after that. The teacher announced that the topic we would be debating this month was… I forget what it exactly said...but it was mainly about whether or not Syrian refugees should be let into the United States. I didn’t know much about debate, but I knew there were always two sides to anything. The side that would reject Syrian refugees was harder for me to understand. “Yesterday was all about exploring the pro side, now today we will explore the con”, he said something along the lines of that. Before you know it, the girl who sat in front of me shot her hand in the air. “ One argument against syrian refugees is that they could most likely be terrorists, and we should not let terrorists into our home!”.  Oh mama, I wished I had been brave enough to tell them we were running away from these terrorists, that we were the ones being hurt the most by the type of people who planned the Paris attacks. I wanted to tell them that my religion has taught me to be peaceful, and not violent, but It was my first day after all. I didn’t want to stand out. (silence, mom says something comforting) I know you think I should stand out because I’m special to you, what a mom thing to say (speaker smiles, then let’s go of mother’s hands). I have some debate homework. I’m gonna let it speak for me, because God knows it’s too early on to speak for myself. But that day will come, when my words will reflect my opinion even more than my schoolwork does. I believe in myself because you believe in me.
rec_190s

Maybe One IS Enough...



Maybe One IS Enough. . .


Mom! I’m back! School was great today, and I really liked it! I got an A on my quiz today, I’m student of the month, and there’s a report card conference tomorrow. Huh? Oh no! You don’t have to go! I told them that you wouldn’t have any available times already, since. Y’know. You’re such a hard worker. *Laughs* Don’t feel bad! It’s not your fault. I’d love for you to be there so we could go talk to my teachers about my grades, and so they could tell you that I’m awesome. Yeah! And afterwards, you could drive me to GameStop, and tell me “not to go over 60 again, like the last time!” Then after that, we could go home and put a frame around my report card and put it on top of the fireplace, y’know? You could be proud of me and feel so ecstatic because I’m your son!


*Turns around* Hmm? Oh, yeah, I know. Visiting hours are over at 8. I heard you when I walked in. Don’t worry. I’m finishing up here anyway.


*Turns back* Y’know, we haven’t done anything together in a while. It’s been a really long time since. I mean, I’m 15 now. I’m not all laid back in a diaper, smearing my poop all over the walls and drooling on my stuffed animals while I sleep now. I’m past that. We’ve moved on! At least *pauses* At least, you have.


HEY! Do you want to go on another drive together when you’re back? No no, there won’t be another crash this time! *Laughs* I mean, there’s not gonna be another drunken asshole that will hit us and make your head smash against the windshield, am I right? I mean, can you imagine if that we’re to happen again? That CAN’T happen again, right!? That would just be SO unlucky of us! I mean maybe the drunk bastard would die this time? I mean, it would make the world a better place without people like HIM! *Pauses*  Oh. I-I’m sorry. I’m going off again, Ranting. Maybe we can *pause* skip the drive. Yeah. Save that for another time.


Did I tell you about dad? It’s gotten pretty quiet without him around. Where is he, you ask? I don’t know! All I remember is seeing him sleeping on the couch, so I brought him a blanket and tucked him im. After that? I took all the empty beer cases and used syringes out to the backyard. Just like he told me to. What!? You think he left? No! He wouldn’t do THAT! I’m his son! I mean, I’m his son! He wouldn’t leave me all alone. I mean, sure he has 5 others with 3 other women! He’s still human! He doesn’t think of me as a nuisance, right? I’m the best! He’s told me that multiple times! Oh shush! He wasn’t talking about the beer!


*Turns Around* Hmm? Yes, I said I heard you already! Hospitals can’t fucking close. Just give me a second!


*Turns back and breathes* It’s all becoming more and more worse now. Please mom, I need you here. I don’t want to face this alone. You weren’t supposed to do that! We both would’ve been hurt if you didn’t try and save me,  We both would’ve been fine. Honest! I don’t want to keep fighting this alone. Now that dad’s gone, everything is shit without someone with me. You have to come back. You have to!


Ending off my freshman year without someone here will be devastating. I don’t know if this is how every teenager feels at some point, but I want to die right now! Call it puberty or me beginning to understand the world, but it sucks! And I don’t want to be here without you, or SOMEONE for that matter, beside me. And you’re my only option.


*Turns Around* SHUT UP! I’M NOT DONE! GO AWAY! What if it were you? Hmm? No no! Go on! Answer me! *Pauses* Five more minutes my ass, just get the hell out!


*Turns Back in silence* I’ve become a shell. Everything that used to fill me up is gone. And now? What do I have to show for it? A bunch of empty beer cans and a bag full of used needles? What am I gonna do with that? They’re empty, just like me! How does that help me? How is that gonna fill me up? Every time, I would step on a needle while walking down the stairs. As it pierced my foot, I hoped that nothing got into my bloodstream to make me feel like the asshole that left me two years ago to fend for myself without any worry or compassion whatsoever! And you know what? I would fear that more that I would fear death itself! He’s nothing! He’s worthless! I refuse to call him my dad! All he is going to be known as is the insensitive addict that doesn’t know how to take care of a family without making mistakes, and doesn’t know his own definition of life! Instead? He lets the advertisements, bartenders, and drug dealers do that for him! He can’t make the right choices for himself. He has to make me clean up his trail because he wants to believe that he’s been walking down a path that’s clean and drug-free, rather than one that already determined his fate from the very beginning.  One that is filled with problems and no real way to solve them.


Mom, you have to listen to me. You have to try and stand up. Okay? I want to wake up tomorrow and see your precious face and radiant smile greet me with a “good morning”  from now on. We all don’t have this kind of chance. We can start over! As much as I hate to say it, we can get dad back and help him with his little “problem.” We can track down the person who did this to you and we can even help them too! We don’t have to suffer anymore if you just come back!


*Gets Pulled Away* Mom! MOM! Stop! Let go of me! Mom! No. Stop. I want her, I want my mom back! This isn’t fair. This isn’t fair.
New Recording

She's Been Sick

(Is coming in the doorway)*Laughs* Yeah, exactly, that's what I said! (Takes bookbag off) Hey, you know how those rumors have been going around the school about my mom and all that? I swear, they just start talking about whatever they can get their hands on. Personal or not. She just hasn't been feeling well, that's all. This is my first year as a sophomore here and i'm greeted with accusations already! You're probably wondering whats up...well….My mom was pregnant with my little brother. We were all so excited, even Addie. You'd think a seven year old would be throwing a tantrum about wanting to stay the baby of the family, but she just really wanted a little brother. Oh what happened? Yeah, I don't know. They both left for the hospital and Addie and I were at the front windows looking out, thinking about when my parents would walk through the door with a new addition to the family. We planned to stay up all night till they got home, but we were asleep when they came home apparently. The next day, my dad said my mom and Joseph were in the basement. (Starts walking to the kitchen) Like, why would they be in the basement? Our basement is so creepy, I'm telling you. The lights don't even work right and it's damp so there's mold down there. I asked my dad if I could go down to see them, but he just said no. That they weren't ready yet. I didn't know what “ready” meant, so I assumed they both had to rest. But still, the basement is the last place they should be. I told my dad how it was dangerous down there, but he was weird about it. He was pale and his eyes were glazed over, but he was smiling really wide… I just ignored it. I understand now, though. She's been sick, so she has these cravings. (Motions to walk to basement door) But, I never denied the rumors. (Opens basement door. Friend walks inside, the main character slams door shut). They're down there. My mother bled out while giving birth and my brother had heart problems because of it, but me and my dad are trying to make it right. I’m so sorry. My mom needs to eat. I really am sorry. Just know that we appreciate it a lot.
She's Been Sick

Hard work never pays off


All I want is more money from my manager. I work 5 days a week with 8 hour shift, even work on the weekends and still get paid 8.25. I go to school for 8 hours then work til 11:30 then have to get home to eat shower and clean then sleep .

(looks up at customer)

‘’Hello how I may help you’’?

‘’You want a 20 pc nugget with small fries’’ ?

‘’Ard your total is $5.25’’

‘’Thank you your number is 323

(looks back at audience)

I am a good employee i’m nice to the customers I give them what they ask for , I give them extra sauce when they need it. I just don’t understand. Mcdonald's is a corny job but like I mean i'm 17 so i'm cool just want money. My employees are some weird ass girls. All I do is go to work get my money and get my grades up at school. These girls be coming to work 1 hour late then be flirting with the customers like OKAY.

‘’Hey Riah”

‘’When is your shift ?

‘’Same.”

‘’ Did the manager give you more money?

‘’ No he didn't give me more money I was just arguing with him. He gave clarissa more money like that's not fair.

‘’ Exactly but i'm about to go on break so I talk to you later

Riah was the only person I really liked at work. She just real blunt and that’s what I like about her.  One time Riah was working on a shift with one of her co-workers who name is Ria and she never comes on time and she decided to take Riah shift and Riah just told her off.

I just got off break and I have only 30 mins left before I clock out.

‘’ I still want that raise’’ I said

( Walking up to the manager)

‘’ What do you mean you can’t ‘’ ?

‘’ If I don’t get a raise then your just going have to lose me’’

( Walking away with anger)

This dumb ass manager don’t wanna give me a raise. I come on time and do what I need to do and he can't give me a raise. Ard bitch.

‘’ Riah I have 10 mins left If Mark doesn't give me no raise i'm blowing this popsicle stand up ‘’

‘’ So serious he can give these bitches all this money but when I ask its I cant’’.

‘’ Jessica , Ria and the rest of her ugly ass group never on time , always flirting like I mean we not in 6th grade we are in 11th grade working at Mcdonalds’’

‘’ I know i'm right all these ass whoopins my momma set me straight’’.

‘’ Its 10:30 my shift is over now it's time for my raise’’

( Walks outside to wait for the manager at his car)

‘’ It's cold ashit outside’’

‘’ Mark Mark you know what I want right ?

‘’ Ok good so let's bring the checks out and give me a raise’’

‘’ All the fuck you keep saying is no all you can say no like the fuck

‘’ Hell no i'm going to get my raise heffa ‘’

( Marks keep talking to Danielle to calm her down while a crazy car is coming)

‘’ MOVE OUT THE WAY!’’ I said

( BOOM)

‘’ Yo mark really dead yo he dead’’

( Cops questioning danielle)

‘’ I would not kill no old head he was boutta die anyway he was like 50

‘’ If I get arrested mark i'm coming after your dead ass’’

( Walking into the cop car)

‘’ I swear I didn't kill the old head I swear’’

‘’ Mark left me a will ?’’

( Reading the will)

‘’ Danielle my vanilla ice cream , I left this will for you because you was my favorite employee which I could marry you but you was 17 and you know I was your old head. On the back of this its a raise of what you wanted.

‘’ Now I feel like a bag of bullshit’’

English monologue

Scrap Metal

“this always happens, everytime i get a new rider something horrible happens to them they always get into accidents.I was really starting to like this owner, I was starting to think that he would actually stay this time. he was really nice and he took good care of me,he got my oil changed I never had less than a half tank and I was always kept squeaky clean and shiny. I never stayed with my owner for more than a year, and then we got into an accident and then i went to another owner. it did not always happen that way though sometimes I was gifted away, sometimes I was bought off of people and I remember that one time I was stolen from my owner. That time was crazy because after that I got a new skin put on so I wouldn't be recognized as the stolen bike, this really weird for a while cause I was not used to it but after a while I started to like it but then we got into an accident and my skin got scratched and they had to peel it off and I was back to normal.


after that I went to a dealership because my owner went to jail for getting into an accident and hitting someone, while on me, that was also a really sad moment for me because I felt partially responsible for the person's injuries. After that I remember going to a different owner he was about 19 years old in college and he was trying to impress girls with “his new shiny motorcycle”. our time together did not last long because he actually did not know how to ride a motorcycle, so him and a girl got into an accident he was trying to merge on the highway and braked to fast and the car behind us rammed into my back and sent all of us flying. although i got a bit banged up they both went flying and they had to go to the hospital. while he was there his parents took me to an used car dealership and they sold me. I Stayed there for a while collecting dust in the back with the other cars and bikes that everyone at the dealership. gave up hope of selling. then one day a strange man walked in and he asked if they had any bikes for sale, he looked kind of weird standing there in his late teenage years asking for a motorcycle. He was wearing khaki skinny pants a tight t-shirt and a pair of running shoes. They brought him over to my area with all the other bikes, at first he didn't see me but eventually he came over and he said this is the one and he asked the person helping how much and i was and the man asked how much he had and the boy said about 3500 and the man automatically took him up on the great offer, I was actually quite flattered given the fact I was not worth that much in my current state. After we left the dealership he immediately took me to an auto shop. On the front it read “jim’s auto” and we both went in and he stood me up strait and started taking me apart cleaning me up and putting my pieces back together and fixing my dents. I heard one of the other mechanics in there calling him a “ greaser” so that is what I started calling him. as soon as he was done cleaning I was all shiny and he filled up my tank and we went out on the highway at first I got scared that we would crash so I did not get clingy but at first we did not crash for days then days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and by then we were good together and I thought this is the time that we are not gonna crash. Then it happened we were just going out for a cruise in the neighborhood and a drunk driver was speeding down the street and blindsided us and he flew 50 feet and I went under the car. I heard him hit the concrete, he fractured his pelvis and broke his back and got paralyzed from the waist down and as for me I went under the car and this was finally it for me I got crushed my engine got ran over, my handlebars got bent in two different ways and my rear got torn from my front. and that brings me to now I am laying in the junkyard waiting to be melted and turned into something new. But until then I am still the same piece of scrap metal that I started out as.


Conor's song

My Slide

Me Slide
While it seems like the slide is only covering a little bit of me, it actually shows several things. As it's labeled, the guy represents me and the unicorns represent everything that I do in my spare time. At first glance, you wouldn't be able to tell what the guy's interests and hobbies were. With the unicorns representing my interests, this idea is similar with me. When people learn more about me on a personal level, some are shocked or think I'm lying. That's why the main picture in the slide is the picture of the guy holding two tiny unicorns. 

I made the size of the picture as big as possible so people really focused on it. The picture behind the text is made up of darker colors, so I made the text bright green to make it really stand out. There's the big picture, then there's the text so the reader can know how the slide explains me.

The Hardest Part About This Is.....

Ugh, I can’t believe I have to work with him again. Why does this always happen to me?

I just walked into my class and the teacher was making everyone change their seats. I was fine where I was sitting and all of a sudden, we change seats. Now I’m working with him, the person no one wants to work with because every project someone has done with him, ended up with him doing nothing and the other person doing everything.

(to the chair next to him/her) Okay, so we’re doing the Renaissance as our topic for this project and you’re going to find pictures about the Renaissance. I’ll give you the links where you can get the pictures from. So really, you don’t have to do anything.

Wow, I can’t believe he took my offer.

So, that’s everything you will be doing. After you finish with that, you can be done and leave me alone.

I’m making him feel useless, aren’t I. Listening to myself, I sound bossy and controlling. Why am I always trying to control situations? Am I making everyone feel useless?

I don’t really mean to, sometimes I can’t control it. Sometimes what I’m thinking just bursts out of me and I end up hurting the people around me. The hardest part about this is trying to apologize, trying to take back all of the hurtful things you said, with no intention to hurt anyone.

I know that bossing people around isn’t really who I am, it is just how people see me. I guess that I’ve always been bossy because I was always being bossed around by everyone that I knew. Maybe now I want to boss people around and see how they like it, make them see what it was like for me and make them feel the way I did when I was being bossed around. That’s not right; I don’t want people to see me as someone who is just bossy and controlling, even though I don’t want them to see the real me either.

Just control yourself right now, Ash, so that you don’t hurt anyone. Stay calm and just focus on your own work and maybe let him find the pictures on his own. If he needs your help he will ask, so just focus on your half of the project right now. (breathes in and out deeply)

I was trying to focus on my work, but I couldn’t stop looking at what he was doing every 5 seconds. I knew that something was going to burst out of my mouth, asking him what he was doing, but I was trying to control myself.

Hey, what are you working on? Oh, you’re still finding pictures? Ugh, sorry I didn’t mean it that way.

I can’t believe I just said that to him. Here comes the hard part; trying to apologize to him, but I don’t know what I should say to him. This time try to be yourself, be nice and you’ll figure out what to say.

Look, I’m really sorry for the way that I have been over the past hour, I just wasn’t myself. Wait-it’s been how long? Only 5 minutes, really?

Jessica's song (1)

Typical Monday Morning Thoughts........

This scene takes place in the bathroom in a mirror

While the scene is taking place the actress will be doing her hair, brushing her teeth, make up etc. to get the feel of her getting ready for school.

(Yelling) Yes mom I’m up

I am so up

I don’t have an attitude I just.. Ok whatever. (rolls eyes)

I’m so sick of this shit, I can’t wait to go to college (says under breath)

(Repeats loudly) I said I can’t wait to go to school and get this knowledge

Everyday is the same thing. Wake up, go to school, come home, do homework, go to sleep.

Ugh I really don't want to go to school today. I hate it there. All you see in school is a bunch of fake bitches you don't like, teachers who think you don't have a life outside of school, couples who think the hallway is a bedroom and a bunch of work that you won’t do until the night before. I wish I was sick. (feels face) Please someone give me the flu or chickenpox or something that lets me stay in bed all day today.

(Yelling) Mom (cough,cough) I’m sick

I am so sick

I am not full of shit, I’m sick I really am

Ok mom ok whatever (Mocks mom with hand)

Why doesn’t she understand that school is hell. I have to sit for 7 hours and watch a bunch of kids act like they are going to do something with their lives after high school is over. They talk about their big plans to go to Paris and China when the closest they will get to there is google maps. I mean don’t get me wrong some of them are perfectly capable of actually make their dreams a reality, but only the ones who actually care about their future. But I’m not talking about them. I’m talking about the kids who buy 300 dollar shoes and get a 30 on a test. The kids who forget that school is for education and not just to meet people to have sex with.They will be the ones who end up being the neighborhood drug dealers, hoes, addicts, golddiggers and people who still live in their mom’s house at 35.”

Huh?

You're leaving?

Oh ok see you after school

She’ll never understand what it’s like for me at school.She is getting paid to be miserable my misery is 100 percent free. Getting talked about all the time for no reason. Teacher’s failing me because they’re “stressed” and need something to take the stress out on. Weird looks in the hallway, all of it it’s just exhausting. I just wish I could find any reason not to go to school today. A snowstorm, a sudden fire anything that would prohibit me from going. I just need a day, one day where I’m not stressed the fuck out from test or projects. One day where I don’t have to be around a bunch of people. One day where I can sit in my damn house in my pj’s eating Chinese food and watching movies. Put no I have to go to school. Honestly school is helping me do nothing. I’m just their everyday wasting time being taught things I’ll never use. I want to be a dancer and ya know that’s what I need to learn about if that’s what I want to do. So I really don’t understand how y= mx+b will help me do shit. School is so pointless. They teach us a bunch of crap that is useless in the real world. Now what they need to be teaching is how to pay taxes cause that shit is confusing.

(Brushing teeth and talking) I mean I would like to learn something useful for once.

(Spitting out toothpaste) Ya know I could always drop out. Be a drug dealer or a stripper maybe. That’s where the real money is. Naw I couldn’t do that I’m not slick enough to sell drugs and I’m not thick enough to be a stripper. (Laughing)

My mom would kill me if I did either of those.

(Mocking mom is annoying voice)  You have to stay in school and get an education and go to college and do this and that and blah blah blah.

(Pauses for a moment for a realization) I guess really we go to school for our parents. If it was up to kids we would drop out really. We bring home our grades that makes them happy or sad, either way they expect more. Seeing their child succeed brings them joy. They’re basically living through us. So in a way school isn’t really for kids. I mean I guess we benefit from it in the long run but really it’s for our mom’s and dad’s to see us become better people.

(Pause) Hmmm I never really thought of it that way. Well I guess school is kinda important. It’s our parents way of holding onto us as kids. (Checks phone) Wow it’s 7:45 in the morning and I already discovered the secret to life. (Chuckles)

(Face changes from laughing to frightened) 7:45 fuck I’m going to be late.

(Grabs phone and book bag) Great just great I’m going to be late to school on a Mon..

(Pauses after staring at phone) Saturday. I’m going to school on a Saturday… wow

(Facial expression is annoyed) ( Lights dim, Scene over)



Remedies for the Fatally heartbroken


“ 17 years I been doing this...17 long years. Having four kids, spending everyday at home picking up Lego's, organizing lunches, cleaning rooms, cooking, being the cool mom, the devoted mom. Perfect wife. Making sure his clothes were laid out in the morning, having his breakfast on the table before 7, dinner hot on the table when he got home, minding my business by not asking questions. Letting him be the man. I did all these things for Mark and our family...my family just to get a text three weeks ago saying...oh Caroline I think we should get a divorce. Just like that. I knew he was seeing that little hoe at his job Amanda who was barely able to buy a drink or smoke a cigarette, but I didn’t think he would throw the family away. I thought if I just kept doing what a good mother and wife should do that everything would be okay.

It wasn’t too long ago that I seen him cuddling that bitch at that cozy little bar “Cush” on 52nd South street. I was on my way to pick up dinner for the kids when I glanced over and saw them through the eerily romantic glass windows. Shock, Panic, and anger all ran through my mind, but at the same time I knew I couldn’t leave my life. Being the somewhat strong woman I once thought I was I just turned a blind eye thinking he would eventually get his fill of her and come back home. Now I guess not. What did I expect tho, I mean all men want the cutest, hottest, blondest piece on the market to take home and show off to their friends. My father did...Mark did it. Guess I should have known. What middle aged stud executive wants a good wife and mother by their side. They want the new, the wrinkless, the dumb who can’t pee for themselves without asking for assistance. Me...I’m not going down like that. He can have his little fling, but I’ll get my laugh to.

You see, I’ve done way too much in these 17 years to be flushed out of a life, sulking in tissues in some no name town trying to figure out what I was or who I was before I achieved my so called american dream. I need something to give me joy, give me happiness. Mark wants a new life...but I..want to take it away. I want to make him suffer, make him scream, make him wither away for being the coward he is. Maybe I’ll write a book called how to kill your husband, and say it’s realistic fiction. Killing might be extreme, but who cares. A deep part of me wants to take his life, but at the same time his life belongs to my children as well. Despite our lives Mark has always been a good father to them, they love him. At one point he used to be good to me, he used to love me.

I remember the days when we used to take random trips to Santa Monica just to have fun and get away. Those days we used to go to my favorite Italian restaurant “ Annamarie” where we would share the Fettucine shrimp alfredo, slurping the same noodle until our lips met as if we were in “ The Lady and the Tramp.” A piece holds the gun down as I don’t know if I can rip and essential part of me and more importantly my children away from the world forever. But I can’t live with myself knowing this man gets away with murdering my life. I don’t want to think of it as me or my children because what mother would be that selfish, but I do everything for everybody and this time something needs to be done for me. He’ll be home in five minutes, I’ll be standing here in five minutes( long pause) he’ll be gone in five minutes(wipes away a single tear).





Monologue Recording

The Definition of Identity

(sitting in a chair, typing)

What are you? What makes you unique? Particles make up cells, which are strung together into tissues. Those are layered into organs, which get categorized into organ systems that make up an organism. Organisms like you and me. We all are made up of the same basic building blocks, put together in various structures that cause the differences from person to person. The only difference between you and I are the atoms that make up everything within us. If I could make myself into you, everything structured exactly the same, then what would be the difference between us then? The logical answer is that there isn’t. But then the question persists: what makes you unique?

When I decided to major in quantum physics, this wasn’t a question I thought it would be necessary to answer. Everything was supposed to be theoretical, and it didn’t matter how long it took you to come up with answers. You took as long as you needed so that the answer would be as close to the truth as possible. But then things began to advance. The theoretical is now so close to being possible. This paper I hold in my hand- (stops typing, sighs, trying to calm himself)

(continues typing) I’m sorry, this is a lot to throw at you all at once. I guess I should explain myself a bit. My name is Carl Williams, and I’m a quantum physicist. I know that an online forum is hardly the place to go looking for advice, but I’m at the point where there’s nowhere else to turn for help. So, this project I’ve been working on is a bit complex. Without getting too technical, it began when we essentially found a way to take one particle and turn it into another particle while destroying the original. It’s pretty much a complicated form of teleportation. As we continued experimenting, we were able to do this with an arrangement of particles, eventually being able to move larger and more complex things. This was a great discovery. We were finally able to transport objects instantly over any distance. But then the Project Manager decided to take things a bit further when he came up with the (sarcastically) brilliant idea of transporting organic life. At first it didn’t seem like such a big deal. But as we got closer and closer, philosophical questions began to be thrown around the lab. What if we can get this to work? I mean, transporting a mug or car is one thing, but a living organism? Isn’t that basically murder? And what makes you so special if we can simply destroy and recreate you in the blink of an eye? Would you still be the same person? Seriously, the definition of “identity” gets thrown out the window when you’re working on a project that’s practically cloning mixed with murder.

As the research continued to advance, I began to have second thoughts. This is all going way too fast. I haven’t been able to sleep for several nights because this keeps on nagging me. That’s why I’m still up this late. I just keep thinking about it. Am I doing what’s right? What if this causes changes in human rights or something? What if a formula or calculation is flawed? There are any number of ways that this could all go terribly wrong, too many for me to mention them all here. If only I knew what to do. If only I had more time. If only human trials weren’t starting tomorrow so I had more time to sort all of this out. (distressed sigh, stands up) (speaking aloud, without typing) Once human trials start it won’t matter what I think. It’ll be beyond my control. (sits back down, continues typing) So please. I don’t know what I’m expecting, or if I’m expecting anything. But if you have anything, any help, advice, or even just something that would help me sleep tonight. Because honestly, I’ve run out of options, and I don’t know what else to do.

monologue

Store Struggles

Xavier's song

(Standing at the front counter of the store) Every day is exactly the same. Wake up, take a shower, eat breakfast, walk to work, walk back home, eat dinner, go to bed. Wake up, take a shower, eat breakfast, walk to work, walk back home, eat dinner, go to bed. Wake up, take a shower, eat breakfast, walk to work, walk back home, eat dinner, go to bed. It’s the most tedious and mind-numbing thing I could even imagine. And for what? It’s not like I have anyone that depends on me to do this. No wife, no kids, nobody.

(Starts pacing around in front of the counter) I mean… what’s my purpose? People just come in here to get their milk or bread or eggs or whatever the hell they need… and leave. No-one pays me any mind. I feel like I’m nothing. I could be so much more than this. Getting laid off at my old job was the worst. I actually liked the people I worked with. I felt like I was known there… like I had some value.

(Standing behind the counter again) I could be a somebody and not a nobody. Maybe I could be up on stage singing or acting, instead of the same old (in a mocking voice) “Hello, sir. Did you find everything okay? Okay sir, $7.25 is your change. Have a nice day sir.” I sound like a robot saying that stuff every day. It’s like I’m inhuman. I could’ve been so much more than what I am, but instead I’m just a co-owner of this boring old store.

(Hears the phone ringing) Ugh… who could this be now?

(Answers the phone with short pauses between sentences) Matthews Brothers, how can I help you? Oh, hey Larry. No I’m fine… what do you need? Sure, I can take over your shift tonight I guess… I’ve got nowhere else to be. Wait… why do you need me to take over? Oh… I thought your wife wasn’t sick anymore. Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Okay well I’ll talk to you later I guess. Alright. Bye. (Hangs up)

Get yourself together Mark. Maybe... I was looking at this all wrong. Larry depends on me. That’s someone at least, and hey… he’s all I’ve really got. My brother’s the only person in the family that doesn’t drive me to complete insanity. In fact, I was the one that gave him this job in the first place. Hm. I guess I do have a purpose in this world… even if it is on a much smaller scale. After all, I could be in a much worse situation right now. I should be grateful… but I can’t help but feel like things could be different. Maybe it's for the better that I'm here... at this corner store.

Outgrown

Well, tomorrow’s picture day for your freshman year of high school. The choice for ensemble seems almost as if there’s really no competition for-um...what are you doing. Ha, I think there’s a mistake…That? You’re choosing that? Over me? But it doesn’t even go with what you’re wearing, and besides, that’s not even your favorite!

I guess I should’ve taken you not wearing me in the past five months as a warning that you wouldn’t have use for me anymore. But why? We had three amazing years together. It seems like yesterday when you first saw me hanging right there on the clearance rack. I was the perfect match for you, just the right blend of chic and casual but still quirky with a great splash of vintage.  When I caught your eye, it was like a match made in thrift-store heaven...well, your mom didn’t think so since I reminded her of the top she wore to her senior breakfast in 1987, but we were able to convince her to buy me. The first 15 times you wore me, you got compliments every time, and not even just from old people! When people asked where you got me, you would proudly explain that I was a one-of-a-kind vintage original and that they’d be lucky if they even find it from an eBay seller. In only a few short weeks I was promoted from just a mere occasional conversation starter to being worn almost everyday, sometimes without trips to the washer & dryer.

Remember when you won your first spelling bee, or got an 100 on that test? I was right there! I mean...I wouldn’t consider myself lucky or anything, but you can’t ignore coincidence. Besides, who else had your back (literally) when those bullies were talking badly about your fashion choices? Oh don’t go flaunting off that cheap department store top in the mirror like it’s a 30+ year old 100% silk designer authentic. It doesn’t flatter your skintone in the slightest. Teal? Never a good choice for photos, especially with khakis. Oh, a scarf? That doesn’t make that disaster of an outfit better one bit. Wait...you’re putting it back in the closet. Oh, okay...maybe you’ll make a good choice this time. [isn’t chosen] A sweater? You’re wearing a sweater? You might as well wear a beanie and an eyebrow piercing! How dare you even think that a flimsy sweater will suffice as a decent garment for one of the biggest days of your high school career? Don’t tell me...you’re actually reaching for a beanie aren’t you.

Okay, what is going on here? You treat me like your favorite outfit one day and then the next you decide that you’re too good for me? You used to be this girl who didn’t care what people thought of her, who was just shamelessly unspoken and proud to stand out. I remember when you bought me, you just had to have me to wear with those amazing sapphire blue bell bottoms that were stunningly authentic and every bit antique. For three years I was the literal garb of your personality; bright and unique but still subtle and light. There was no special event that you went to without me as a plus one and I was your go-to for birthday parties. So what exactly happened? Did you...outgrow me?



tragic

Just One More Time

I love you Wait,.. Wait... Please just give me a second.… I just want hold you .. Let me be yours again, .. No don’t go …I’m Sorry, I just want to talk , don’t go please. Just take a seat with me.. all I want to do is talk,that’s all nothing more. I just want to know how you’ve been, I miss you. I really do. I’m not lying. I’m a little hurt that you think I would lie about missing you. I care about you. You’ve been out so much lately, it’s like you completely forgot about me. I’m sorry if I was so controlling before. Sorry if I yelled at you. Sorry if I hurt your feelings and pulled you away from things that use to be important to you, I didn't mean to , it was just that I was afraid of loosing you, like I am now. I thought we would be soul mates, we would spend until death do us part together. but I guess you had other plans. I’m not here to make you feel bad about leaving me behind. That’s the exact opposite reason why I am here. I’m here because I want you back. Please don’t say anything yet. Don’t say it’s too late until you heard what I had to say. (sigh) Remember when you called me at your friend’s house because her sleepover was crazy boring, when you told her you had to go home early and I was there outside the house waiting for you. You were so happy to see me. the twinkle in your eye, the smile on my face, to see you so happy made me ecstatic. Man would I kill to see that smile on your face again because now your smile when you see me looks like a frown. I know that’s part of my fault but it does not have to be that way. I could make you smile like that again, if you gave me the chance. Please just let me finish. After that we took a stroll through the park and danced near that big fountain under the moon. You said it was the best time you ever had.Have you had any times like that since we broke up? Exactly. You won’t. I’m the reason you had good times like that. I gave you that sense of freedom and don’t tell me I didn’t because you told me that I did. That I made you feel amazing when I was around. Did I not? So why not come back to me? I could make you feel that way again. I could do so much more this time, I promise. It won’t be like the last time when , I mean if you come back. No, of course I’m not counting on it but it would be nice if you did. I said I was sorry. I didn’t mean to turn you against your mother. I just wanted you to myself more often and she was getting in the way. No, I didn’t mean that. Wait, please don’t leave me. I’m not done, you know that’s not what I mean at all. She didn’t get in the way. I liked your mom a lot, it’s that she didn’t like me. She kept saying I was going to hurt you pretty bad one day, and we both know that’s not true. Remember, she wanted you to stop seeing me and you were actually starting to listen. It was heart breaking, to see you pick sides. You didn’t even try to compromise. I’m in love with you and I thought you were in love with me. You never showed it. You would leave me all the time to be with your friends after school. You didn’t even think about me. I called night after night but you started to stop answering . You stopped all together after that one incident. I didn’t mean for it to get that bad. I really didn’t . I wish it had never gone that far. I tried to see you in the hospital but they said family only. I’m sorry. Do you forgive me?(small laugh) I knew you would. Being cigarette and all gives me the gift of being pretty persuasive. Actor: Imani Williams
Take 3

Spare Any Change?

(Main character is scruffy and sitting down behind what appears to be a city background / backdrop that is dimly lit)


(Softly while jingling a cup) Spare any change? Change. Please Ma’am, anything you could spare?


(Sighs and puts down cup) How did this become my life? Sitting on the streets and begging for scraps.


I remember when I was a baseball player. Man, I even had the best swing of my league.


(Looks remorsefully at his still calloused palms) Still have proof too. The callous never really faded.


I could've been a national player if not for people’s ridiculous opinions.


When my teammates found out, they were uncomfortable around me. Before I knew it, I was shunned. The guys would turn away from me in the locker room, some even refused to change with me there. They treated me as if I was an alien based on my preference.


I never asked to be like this. Were they uncomfortable with my sexual status or just me? What did I ever do wrong?


I was harassed for things I had no control over. (Mockingly) “I guess he bats for the other team. Ironic he picked this sport.”


I finally acknowledged my sexuality, but I guess not everyone could. I was looked down on, thought of as ‘weird’ or ‘disgusting.’ I was viewed as different, incomprehensible, some people just couldn’t understand and so I had to become a victim.


What makes me the most upset is that I tried really hard. I wanted a career in athletics, it was what I loved doing. I practiced to points of exhaustion sometimes to make sure I was fully connecting with the ball, that my stamina was good, or just catching exercises. I could’ve been so good, successful even. If only I was the modern society’s view of ‘normal.’


I was kicked out. Fired. Terminated. My coach gave me the spiel of how my personal life got in the way of my fellow team members’ productivity and how the teamwork shifted to a place that wasn’t up to par with the competition. How I was responsible, how it was my fault.


I understand that some people won’t just magically accept me for who I am. I’m not asking people to embrace the fact that I’m attracted to the same sex. I’m just asking for people to see beyond who I am attracted to. Who I love doesn’t affect my morals, my personality, or my foundations as a person. I am human!


Baseball ended there. I tried to transfer, but no one would take me. But, I realized, this could be good. I could make a clean slate, be who I am. Unfortunately, finances didn’t allow me this privilege. Money eventually ran short and I’m no good at other jobs. I tried moving a couple times and long story short, rent is a lot of money. Life is hard, and I do miss the past ‘normal’ me, but I would never want to go back.


(Reaches out and picks up cup again) After all, I rather be myself with nothing, than be a fraud with everything.


(Holds out cup) Spare any change? Change. Please Ma’am, anything you could spare?


(Lights fade and a distinct clink of a coin being dropped can be heard)
Dumb Monologue

loveme.net

I won’t let you love me, you can’t, you don’t even know me. I know me pretty well and I fucking hate myself. I don’t have the capacity to love someone, ok I sound like a robot, but you get it. You know that thing where people say you can’t love someone until you love yourself? That’s me with you. I know you say I deserve to be happy, you deserve to be happy too. I can’t let you waste your time on someone who doesn’t find a deeper meaning in a word. This is better for you and me. We’ve never met and I can’t love someone I’ve never met. Your baggage is my baggage and mine is yours. I don’t want you to have to deal with mine.

Belle shuts her laptop

That four letter word means nothing. I don’t understand how words can mean so much to people especially such a simple saying. I get that words like onomatopoeia or auspicious or idiosyncratic could have meaning because they’re so big. But love, l-o-v-e. According to Merriam Webster; To love: is to feel sexual or romantic love for (someone). But the top definition for love on Urban Dictionary is nature's way of tricking people into reproducing. That’s funny because it’s kind of true. Love is all chemical. And because of that, it’s too fucking complex. I don’t even think I have the capacity to love.

Opens laptop

Sorry I needed a breather. You’re perfect, you really are. You deserve someone that can provide far more for you than I can. You don’t even know my last name. All you know is Bellebeauty94. No, My last name is not beauty. It’s not like I don’t want to be with you. That isn’t the case at all. I’ve been trying for so long and so hard to bring myself to say that I love you.

Shuts laptop

I made a tumblr when I was like 13 and now I’m about to graduate high school. I don’t remember a time without the internet. Physical contact isn’t even necessary anymore. And I can’t really tell if that terrifies me or amazes me.

I guess if love is only a word…

It won’t kill me to tell me I love him. Fake it till you make it right? I can’t help how he feels.

Opens laptop

Hey. I love you.


loveme.net

Burst

Monologue: 

Why did you do this to me? What have I ever done to you? All I have done is help you! All I have done is try my best to bring this family together ever since mum left. I was the one who had looked for a job and tried my best to pay for the bills. You thought I didn’t notice that you sneaked money out of the safe for alcohol? How could you even do this to me? To yourself? All the work I have done to achieve that money and you were just throwing it out.

You're were using up our savings that we need. You can’t do this anymore. I won’t allow you to Dad. I’m eighteen and If I wanted to I could leave. I don’t have to stay here and watch us drown ourselves in debt. I don’t know why this whole time I decided to stay. I shouldn’t be sacrificing my time from school work to do work. I want to go to college, but I guess I won’t be doing that any time soon. If I do leave right now, we will fall even more apart and I’m sure that none of us want that.

The moment I walked into the house I knew something was wrong. I felt the tension in the atmosphere. You stalked towards me like I was your prey. It then got to the point where the alcohol was getting into your head and you were not thinking clearly. You saw red. You saw mum in me. Is that why you grabbed my arms, thinking it was her? You held me tightly and hugged me and whispered into my ear asking why she left, why would she break apart us apart, why she did this to us...

Then suddenly out of thin air, something must have gotten into your head. You violently started shaking me. Then unwrapped your arms from around me and shoved me, and I abruptly hit the wall, and I banged my head against it, causing a searing pain in my head. Then I felt something hit my cheek. I felt the blood rushing to my face. You slapped me, Dad. I was too stunned to move. How could you do that to your own daughter? Your own flesh and blood. I should’ve known you would do this even before you laid a hand on me. You were out of your mind! Then you started shouting. You started accusing me saying how I ruined everything, that I was behind the reason why we were in the position we were in now. How if she didn’t leave for another man that we wouldn't be in this position. How she broke your heart. Dad, you thought I was mum. You really thought that low of me?

I composed myself and then suddenly something clicked in me. I was fed up with what you were saying. It had already been six months since she left and we needed to get past that. We were stronger than this.

I bursted. I started shouting and shouting back at you trying to snap you out of it. I came face to face with you and said that I wasn’t mum. Then I saw the realization in your eyes. You finally saw me as, Stephanie, your daughter and not that monster. You were saying sorry over and over again. You were in tears. I said I was glad that she left. So what if she betrayed us? Sure, she broke both us but that doesn’t mean that we weren’t going to get up and put the pieces back together. She was the coward. She was the one who lost the most amazing husband and daughter. I promise you Dad, we would get through this. We would both have to try our best and get through these hardships, together. We would do anything in our power and stay positive to get back on top. But you have to promise me that you will never drink to solve your problems. Don’t worry Dad, I know what you are going through because I feel the same way too.
Podcast E2

Promise Me You Wont Go

(Picks up the phone and calls her boyfriend)

Hey babe … Yeah I’m fine, I just had to talk to you about something. Umm I don’t know if you’ll be mad but just don’t hang up on me…. So…  I took a pregnacy test and it came back positive. Yeah, I’m so serious I would never lie about something like that…. Don’t yell at me! You were the one who decided to crawl in my bed, it takes 2. No I haven’t told my mom yet, you’re the first person I told. A abortion is not an option! We are going to take care of this child, this is something we decided to do and we have to own up to it…. I’m 2 months already and I’m so scared. I should have never done it with you, you told me it would all be okay, you said I wouldn’t get pregnant! It’s all your fault and now you see what happened? …. No! don’t tell me to calm down do you know how much trouble I am going to get in... I know I didn’t have to do it with you but it happened and now we can’t take this back!.. No I’m not telling my mom first, you tell yours… I’m scared to, it’s okay just promise not to leave me all alone. I didn’t hear you say you promise … 

Hello? HELLO? You still there ? Oh okay, good! Now tell me you promise! …. promise that you’re not going to leave me alone with OUR responsibility… Why can’t you make this promise to me?... Are you serious !? If I LOVE you, I wouldn’t make you take care of this baby? If you LOVED me so much to get in my bed you’re going to LOVE this baby and take care of it! … I told you that wasn’t an option! This child deserves a beautiful life… I know, we are young, dumb and we aren’t ready but it’s time for us to grow up and get ready… Trust me, I can’t believe this either but life goes on and stuff happens, we all make silly mistakes… I know this is not a “silly” mistake! I don’t know how to describe it, I’m just trying to look at the positive side! I just need us to stay together and take care of our child.... WHAT!?! Did I hear you correctly, you said you’re breaking up with me!? What do you mean !? … No !! you can’t do this to me , you can’t !! .. Don’t go… This is your baby to !! 

Wait! Please! Don’t hang up we still have to talk about this ! Hello? HELLO? ( puts the phone down and cries hysterically)


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