Dear Diary,

Sunday I realized that I have a fear of success. It's not so much the idea of not wanting to succeed, but the idea is the complete opposite of what my reality has been. For as long as I can remember theres been countless unkept promises (hence the reason promises mean little to me now), and many goals that have never been fulfilled. Now to me it's not who to blame for this being so. But it's more or less how to rid myself of this horrible habit, feeling, and restraint against my success. Usually my motto is like Nike, "just do it," and sometimes it works, but most times, not so much. But that ends up being a never ending vicious circle of a little something that then turns to a little nothing. For instance one of my goals is to spend everyday doing something constructive and not sleep my day a away. Constructive being writing, reading, practicing guitar, even homework. Instead I come home and say "I'll only shut my eyes for five minutes." Five minutes turn into twenty, then thirty, an hour, then three hours. I wake up in just enough time to walk my dog and go right back to sleep. Epic fail. I need to get out of this rut, the only problem is, I don't know how. 

Helpful and Loyal

 ​I just recently saw a video that was filmed yesterday in one of the towns effected by the earthquake a tsunami. A reporter was walking through one of the areas that was just in ruins. They spotted a brown and white dog looking around for food. He had a tag on his collar and looked into the camera. The dog was shaking, you could see it was frantic and scared. After it bark then turned heading away. It went to another dog that was laying down. The other was barely breath and couldn't move. When the dog laying down tried to lift its head, the sitting dog simply took its paw and put it over his head. Like trying to get him to rest and he would watch over him. The pair stayed together, the healthier dog watching over the other. Eventually the two were rescued and taken away to be cared for. 

 For me it was heart breaking. Not just cause they are dogs that are alone (I am a animal lover) But it was because of the loyalty that was there. In this world sometimes you don't see people practice this themselves. They tend to block others in bad situations out and simply go about their life. They don't care to help. With this disaster in Japan following the many we had had so far I just hope it opens more peoples eyes. But then again I know you cant change people in their ways or get everyone to get along. Still I can dream that people can feel loyal enough to stay with one another through out time of bad to help. Just like the pair of dogs. Because working together actually does not only help one another but keep us going in life.
Screen shot 2011-03-16 at 9.47.36 PM
Screen shot 2011-03-16 at 9.47.36 PM

how not to sleep

When the thoughts racing through your mind that prevent you from wanting to breathe in again after letting out a deep breath stop screaming at you so loudly, you will be able to sleep through the night. However, you will be left with no motivation to get out of bed in the morning. 

The Boy

​He didn't know what to do. There was so much pressure on him. He was consumed with stress. His girlfriend just broke up with him for another guy. He just finished a fight with his best friend but sad to say he accidentally killed him in the moment. A week before now he was walking his dog and someone he got lose, ran in the street and was hit by a car. He even loss his last and only refuge, his ipod. He was jumped on his way to school and in the process of escaping, he fell and it broke. He lost almost everything he cherished. In his mind the only thing he can here is "now jump".

uhhh....

Once upon a time...The End...haha i wish stories could be that simple. Anyway, the story im gonna tell you is recent i guess...kinda awkward but bear with me anyway.  So I was recently introduced to to this thing called Idousing. Its basically music tht makes you feel different emotions. and using it i was able to ease the pain in my fathers leg (he broke it) anyway thats it for now

Annoying Habit

I have this annoying habit of correcting people when they say me and somebody else, when instead they should be saying that person and I. For example if somebody says,
"Me and Susannah went to the ice cream store." I correct them and say, "You mean Susannah and I." It's awfully annoying. I know this because people use to do this to me all the time. It always really bugged me. It makes me such a hypocrite for constantly correcting people, but I am helping them improve their grammar. Anyways, i think the past people in my life who always corrected me should really be the ones to blame. They made start this awfully irritating habit.

THE ROAST

Today, my boyfriend and I are attempting to put on a comedy show similar to the stand-up specials of "The Roast of (insert name here)".  He has written a script and we are even inviting guests over to watch the presentation.

Guess who we're roasting"?  Yeah, you guessed it...his dad.

"JOIN US TODAY FOR THE ROAST OF KARL BETTERIDGE".