I was looking in my google docs trying to find something to read and give me inspiration to write a poem (since I haven't written one in a while), and I came across this poem which I remember performing at Barnes N Noble. I was nervous out of my mind and ran through the lines so quickly I barely her the words leave my mouth. I was so shaky and absolutely hated myself after performing for not doing a better job. Nontheless it's one of my favorite poems, I think. : )My Soldier
Never let a soldier see you cry
Not even from the eyes of death itself
Not the correlation of deprivation of life itself
Not even through the diagnosis of pain and suffering
Tears and Fears
Never let a soldier see you cry
I can’t say this to you when your conscious
So I whisper it to your subconscious
“You’re my baby
My sunshine kiss
And if we get through this
I promise I’ll be the daddy you’ve always wanted
I’ll take you to the park and slide down the slide with you
Swing the swings with you
No longer allergic to a smile
I’ll put little bows in your hair and play dress up
Because you know I care
And I’ll watch you sleep and caress your beautiful soft hair
And whisper to you the advice you’ll never forget.”
Never let a soldier see you cry
When you dream of the sweat and blood dripping down your stomach
And fingertips
Because you clawed at your chest
Trying to find the superman sign
You’ve been dying to hide
And when you wake up
You’ll see the superman suit hung up because
He retired form saving the world
Retired from saving my baby girl
Never let a soldier see you cry
When you and your wife have been fighting
Because you’ve lost the meaning of love
Or lost the meaning of life
You can’t tell the difference because they both feel the same
You argue because you can’t fix the unfixable
And change the changed and unchangeable
You argue because you blame yourself for not replacing superman and saving the world
Saving your baby girl
You argue because you
Never let a soldier see you cry
Not even when you’re in the hospital
Waiting and listening to the beep beeps
And the heavy breathing of your baby girl
And you watch the shedding of her hair
And you let the time past
By counting the number of each hair from the beginning of the diagnosis
Of cancer
And every blink
Every breath
Feels like death
Never let a soldier see you cry
Nights past and the beeping slows
And your prayer speeds
But your faith leaves
And you wife grieves
Pacing back and forth becomes old news
And the cars passing by outside
And fainted chitter chatter in the alleys 4 miles away
Feels like murder
Because the whole world doesn’t stop to check on your baby
Never let a soldier see you cry
Her days continue to count down
And the rounds of whiskey make him immune to relief
Immune to life
And your wife sits outside of room 111C
With your baby girl inside
Because she can’t bare to see the red and purple rings grow around her eyes anymore
But you sit next to her in he last grateful breaths
And beep.
Though the beep never completes
And as painful as death itself
The tears flow like rivers
But it’s ok
Because
My Soldier has never seen me cry
