Media Fluency

Google Slide

As you can see, this slide is about photography. Well how do you know this? Rhetorical question for you, I’ll answer it myself. I set up this slide to be glance media. What is glance media you ask? Glance media is a type of media that you can look at or pass by quickly and instantly know what it’s about. A billboard, for example, should be glance media; companies want you to be able to know exactly what they’re talking about or selling as you pass it by.


Well now that you know why it’s simple, you may be thinking, “Okay I know it has to be simple. But why does it have to be so big? [Gestures to slide, specifically the word “Photography”] It’s not an actual billboard.” Good question! It only needs one point because the slide is just an aid in speaking. If it only needs one point, why not make sure that point gets across thoroughly? Big font and little points are remembered.


“Why do you have that empty, blurry space on the edge, Sara?” [Gestures] some would ask. The reason for that is known as the Rule of Thirds. Imagine looking through the viewfinder on a camera. Have you ever noticed that there are faint lines going through the image? [Draws lines] The viewfinder breaks up what you see into thirds going horizontally and vertically. The Rule of Thirds makes things aesthetically pleasing. Think about if you had a picture of a flower or a person [Drawing] in the center of the photo. It’d be incredibly boring! I have this set up like this specifically to appease the Rule of Thirds.


As you can probably tell by now, there’s a lot of color in this slide. Did you know that color is the first things we see when we look at a picture? You probably already did, at least subconsciously. In this slide I used some subtle contrast. Contrast is when the subject colors are drastically different from the background colors. In this slide, the bright pinks, oranges, yellows, and whites in the subject [Gestures to flower and colors] are way different than that of the dark green hues in the background. [Gestures to the background colors]

Can, Can't and Will - Genero Accooe

Hey mom I’m home. Yeah my day was good. Okay let’s see what I have to do for tonight…What did you ask?... Sorry mom I can’t, I have a ton of homework. “Phew”. Feels nice to sit down after a few hours worth of walking, god I love my bed.

Man I can’t believe they’d assign me 3 projects, due all on the same day!?!? I mean c’mon man what the hell am I supposed to do all by myself. English is already hard enough having to write essays. I mean I have like… The worst writers block in the world. (Exaggerate)And I have to read on top of that, (chuckles) Nooo thank you. Jesus crisps cookies… why is this math so hard I can’t even look at it- (phone buzzes) Oooh shit, that new update for clash is up! No! I don’t have time to play it, ughhhh. This is exactly why I don’t like homework. What ever, I can’t afford to bomb these projects, not when grades are almost in. This is exactly why I don’t like homework.

(Phone buzzes again) Well... it’s only 7:50 so I should be able to get this done before the morning. No! Stay focussed!(Phone buzzes) Ohh but Idubbbz came out with a new vid- AND FRANK?!?!?!  Hell yeah boi aww! I gotta watch this real quick(Starts to type fast for two seconds) Hahaha. (Uncontrollable laughter, puts hand over mouth) (Maybe six seconds later, video ends) (Sigh)Ahh god that was too funny man…(raises wrist to look at his watch) Ok, ok it’s 8:30. I still got some time left to finish but god my eyes are starting to hurt just looking at the work. (Yawn!) Man, and now  I’m way too tired to do this. Fifteen minutes couldn’t hurt. (Yawn)… (Yawn) Jesus, 11:39? What the hell, I can’t believe I overslept, I KNEW this was going to happen if I took a nap (silent for a few seconds). I guess I gotta use my last resort.

(Starts typing fast) Dear - Mr. Dadadadada, with the mountains of assignments I’ve been given over the past week I have no other choice but to ask you for an extension. I know that I can’t get all of my homework and projects done before tomorrow. (Typing stops for about a second or so, Rich lets out a “hmmm”) If I can receive an extension that would be wonderful. (Mutters under breath)”hit Send”. (click) There, one teacher down three more to go. Alright (Breathes out).

Dear Ms.So’n’so…(typing stops briefly then starts back up) My apologies for not writing sooner but I wanted to know if I could receive an extension on the project that is due. I know that I have some fault in in this.( Quick pause) But you must understand, I’ve been given a ton of extra work that I know that I can’t finish in time on top of your assignment. I know that this could help my grade and myself personally if given the extension. I hope you have a wond-(Stop). (Firm tone) No. No, no, No! (Just a little quieter) Delete all of it.

(Fast typing) Dear Mr.Dadadadada and Ms.So’n’so. I’m sorry for not starting the project earlier but I have a problem… I’m not asking for an extension but to take it back. I never really needed it in the first place. I was too busy forcing myself into thinking that I couldn’t do the work when in reality, I just didn’t want to. I know that almost everyone gets writers block, or finds some of their work to be challenging but I can’t use that to justify my choices. I can see that receiving an extension would only damage my grade and my image towards you, the teachers. I can’t use all of these excuses to justify my actions, that would make me incompetent and hurt my grade and my education. I just want you to know that I will be trying my hardest form now on, no more waiting and no more excuses. Sincerely, Richard Bee. (Drawn out)And, send.(click)


https://www.soundtrap.com/playlink/9199a578-6a4d-40d2-924e-6450fd8e1480/



Suits Don't Come With Respect

What do you mean am I in the wrong store? I’m here to buy a suit. This is Brooks Brothers. That is the name on your sign, is it not?
Now, I was hoping to find a Fitzgerald Fit Golden Fleece® Suit for a meeting in the up and coming week. If you don’t have it, I’ll just browse your selection. That’s great. Can I try it on? Ok...that’s understandable, I’ll look around, and see what I like.
Hey...wait...my eyes must be playing tricks on me because you just let him try on the suit that I asked to try on. Were you afraid the color of my skin is going to taint the clothing? Don’t tell me to calm down! Where’s the manager!? I’m scaring the customers? If you would have just let me try on the suit that I asked for, I wouldn’t be yelling now, would I?
Yes, I’m aware that the suit costs $2,100 and I’m fully capable of paying for it. Oh-oh, now you’re quiet. As soon as you see that a black man can pay for an expensive suit, you want to act like there were no previous discriminatory implications behind what you said earlier?
Now, you want me to try on the suit? Well, you know what? I don’t want the suit anymore and I will no longer be frequenting this establishment. I’ve had to prove myself to too many people throughout my life: prove to my mother I wouldn’t become a crack head on the streets, prove to my school that I was intelligent, prove to my graduating class that I was worthy of receiving valedictorian without “cheating”, prove to the law firm I work at...I’m tired of it. I’ll just let people believe whatever the hell they want because I know who I am and that I definitely don’t need to prove myself to you.
Would it make you sleep better at night if you knew that I was a stereotypical black thug or that I’m a successful African American man trying to better society? As soon as we start moving up or as you call it “stealing your jobs”, you want to shove us back down to the bottom of the totem pole. A black man invented the equipment to dye the soles of those expensive shoes you're wearing, a black man invented dry cleaning, which you could use right now with that wrinkly suit that looks like it came from Overstock.com, and if it weren’t for a black man inventing the traffic signal you could have been in an accident this morning.
So please, ask me again if I’m in the wrong store because this time I’ll say ‘Yes, I am.’ By the way, Tom Ford is on 845 Madison Ave, right?

A Strict Parent Makes A Sneaky Child

Okay, so it’s 4 p.m. on a school day. I should be going home, I know. But, my best friends Sophia, Emma, and Ava just invited me out!

“It’s just a little white lie,” Sophia said. “Come on, tell your mom that you have a club or something to go to. Just hang out with us for one hour, it’s not like we’re gonna do drugs or anything Mia.”

I wish I could go! With different programs and work to go to, I get home late, even on the weekends. Therefore, there’s not much time that I’m at home and I don’t get much time to hang out with my friends either because of our schedules always clashing.

For some reason, they think that I wanna distance myself from them, or that I’m too busy for them. But that’s not true! In reality, it’s just because I have a strict mom so I can’t really go out as often as I would like to. I don’t blame her, I mean, I’m her youngest child so she’s probably afraid of letting the little bird go. Plus, it’s tough now since it’s the middle of Fall, and daylight savings are kicking in, because everything is getting darker.

I’m basically in a pickle. Nothing I would do could satisfy everyone in the situation. An option could be lying to my mom and hanging out, or not being able to do something outside of school with my friends. It’s like having an angel and a devil on my shoulders. At that very moment, the devil is more persuasive.

So, what am I gonna do?

Oh no, my mom just texted me!

“Honey, where are you?” she questioned.

What do I do now? Casually say, hey mom, nothing, I actually lied to you and am hanging out with my friends. I can’t say that because we all know how that sounds.

I tossed my phone over to Ava and told her to respond for me. She told me that I wasn’t going to like what she was gonna say.

I was a bit concerned honestly. Like, what could she say? Oh, she said she would’ve been honest with my mom and simply say that I’m hanging out with her.

Well, in that case, NOPE. I quickly took the phone back because doing that would be equivalent to me asking my mom to be punished. Instead, I just told her that there were a lot of things to discuss at the club meeting today.

I know, lying is bad, and trust me, did I feel horrible. Even though they’re called little white lies, it doesn’t make them okay, but somehow, I just kept allowing them escape my mouth.  

Well, since I already decided to do this, I should just give it my all and not have regrets while hanging out. If I want to feel regretful, that would be something to save for my midnight wonders.

We all decided to go to Chinatown and it was honestly so fun. We explored little shops even though we bought nothing, ate some noodles from Terakawa Ramen, and even got some ice cream because the cold doesn’t bother us. Okay, that’s a lie, it was freezing, but we still ate ice cream! Suddenly, I looked at my phone and boom, it was 5:30 already.

This day was the most I’ve laughed this week, taking the stress from home and school off of my shoulders, temporarily at least. It’s time for me to start heading home, so my friends walked to me the bus stop.

As soon as we got there, I heard a riiiiing riiiiing riiiiing and without even looking at the caller ID, I could already tell that it was my mom summoning me.

“Mia, where are you? Tell your teachers that you can’t stay too long!”

My mind was saying "Uhhh, my teachers wouldn’t keep me this long", but what actually came out of my mouth was,”Oh, hi mom, I’m at the bus stop now. I’ll be home soon!”

Emma smiled at me and shook her head. I said to her, “Oh, the things I do for you guys, but I love you guys anyways.”

Later, I arrived home to a very worried mom. She was just relieved that I made it home alive. You know what, I think the devil’s done his deeds today and the angel wants her part. I couldn’t hold it in anymore, I told my mom to pinky promise to not be mad about what I was going to say next.

She hesitantly stuck out her pinky and as soon our pinkies collided, I blurted out the truth. I could definitely tell she wasn’t happy, but she couldn’t be mad after seeing how happy I was afterwards. She wasn’t as upset as I thought she would be, I guess she understood where I was coming from.

Next time, if I do something like this again, I might use the same tactic which is the don’t be mad pinky swear. I gotta say, a strict parent makes a sneaky child.




First offense

*Story starts with are main character in a car talking to his friends*


I'm ready yall do we really have to do this, you keep saying we do and i know Momma still doesn't  have enough for the little ones but no one's starving. Don't y'all know that little B got sick, we need this money. No one knows what he got but it's serious and we ain't got healthcare so it's gonna cost us.


(Pause)

Whatever yo let's just get this over with. Im acting white? What the hell do you mean by that. I'm down to do this because this is necessary, this is for little B it's just i ain't trying to catch my first offense like Pie did.


(Long pause)

Why we even tryin to hit up a KFC they won't have that much cash anyway. Really man we doing this for the chicken, that's the stupidest thing I ever heard. If I go to jail over some stupid ass chicken i’ll be really pissed. Remember what happened to Tank when he went to jail? That fool came out gay and remember what happened to Ricky? When he tried to rob that gas station a gang pulled up on him and shot him straight in the back. Dead instantly. I ain't trying to have that happen to me i'm just trying to deal with little B. What you mean that's a myth i ain't stupid, RJ back there was the one who told me…..whatever. But seriously chicken? Can't we at least rob like a liquor store or something, at least make it a Popeyes they are better  down here in Louisiana than a KFC, it's in their commercial. By the way what's the plan again man i always forget this stuff..


So you're saying that we just gonna roll up point are choppas at the clerk and roll out through the back alleyway? If you remember that's how Tank got caught. How the hell we even gonna escape if the ride is parked in the front. You haven't thought of that? Man I just wanna get this done, how bout we let RJ drive and park the car around back and then we go in and grab the chicken then we get the hell out. How is that a stupid idea? it's better than go in leave the car and run.


(Long pause)

We’ve arrived it's time to get The job done and put food on the table. And can we make sure we do this the right way, if I go to jail my family will really be in trouble. The only reason i'm doin this is because yall know I got laid off. I ain't out here to do anything gang related I'm just trying to make money for little B and quit it with calling me white.


(Semi long pause)

You know what? I don't need this. I got a job before I can get one now. Yall act like you need to do this but ya dont. This type of life ain't fun and it ain't for making money. I had to drop 300 for this damn gun when I could've spent it helpin B get better. It's time for me to go yall to slow for this crime game, peace.


McDoubled (Hours)

          Give me a second please, it’s been a hard morning.
          Hmmm. Well, I guess I’ll have the McBurger with extra pickles. Uhh, yeah I want cheese. Extra large fries, and a super sized diet Mountain Dew. That’s all, thanks. *Slight pause* Do you have change for a 50? Thanks so much. Ahh, this will do. 10 minutes? I’ll be right back then, I need to use the bathroom. No, you did not need to know that.

*Washing hands motion*

*Sigh*,

About 50 minutes left. I guess I can just stay for an extra 10 minutes, after all he’s made me stay overtime a lot recently. You could say that I deserve it then. I missed a part of my daughter’s graduation because of it too. And my wife’s anniversary. Yeah, I don’t think he’s ever treated me fairly at all. Thinking back on it, my wife’s being a struggle too. I need to say something to her. And I also need to say something to my boss. It’s time to stop acting like a pushover. I can’t keep letting him treat me like this.

*Walks out of bathroom and into seat.”

I will tell him. I will give him a piece of my mind. I will do it. Eventually. But what about my job? Should I just talk to H.R. about it? Well, Mr. Bossman is her boss too… No, I will do it, and even if I get fired, I’ll get my creepy uncle to hook me up with a pharmaceutical job. In the case he doesn’t fire me, I guess he won’t see me as a bitch anymore. *3 second pause*

Order number 79? Hey, that’s me.

*Walk over to stand and collects consumables.*

This feels a bit lighter than I expected. Huh. No pickles? No cheese? NO PICKLES?! NO CHEESE?! Where is the manager? I want to speak to your manager. Where’s my drink? Don’t tell me you forgot my drink! How am I supposed to eat this pizza without my drink?! This service is sickening! I am sick and tired. I am sick and tired of being treated like trash, like I’m some shitty burger found in the back of a McDonald’s, no offense. I demand to speak to the manager. You are the manager? Then manage things! I waited a whole twenty minutes for my food, and you only bring ⅓ of it. That ⅓ wasn’t even complete? Is everybody deaf, can they hear me? Do I have to scream? REEEEEEE!  You know what? I don’t need this right now. I deserve better. I deserve a refund at least. Yeah, I want a refund, at this instance! Yeah, you take those bills out. I’ll be taking that.

*Walks out of store*

Now it’s time to go talk to Mr. Bossmanson.

*Walks signifying leaving establishment*
Ummm.. Mr. Bossdudeguy, I-I-I think we need to have a little t-talk. No I don’t want to do more overtime. It’s about the way you’ve been treating me. *Pause* As in matter of fact, I do have something to say about it. I want a raise. I want a change of hours. I need a little respect. That was all I ever wanted. No, that was all I ever needed. I want all of that or I quit! *Pause* Yes, I have the statistics for the quarterly revenue stream. It is on your desk, I finished it a few days ago. *Pause* What’s that? I’m fired? *Distressed voice*

Chill, it’s just a prank bro, I was only kidding. I was quitting from the beginning. Yeah, that’s it! Catch you on the flip side!

Streetlights

Make sure you call me when you get home. I don’t know why you didn’t let my mom drive you, Said my friend.

It’s cool, and I’ll call you as soon as my foot touches my front step. I promise.

Before I locked my phone, I saw the red low battery at the top of my screen. 20 percent. Why the hell didn’t I charge my phone when I had a chance to. Now it’s about to die, and I need to get home. I just need to walk past the Mcdonald's on Oregon Avenue to get the G bus. The only thing is, I don’t know where I am now. This is actually my first time on this side of South Philly. I never stay out this late. Especially in unknown neighbourhoods, I should know better than that. At least I had fun, I haven’t seen my friends in a long time. They do say, time goes faster when you’re having fun, right? 18 percent.The street signs blended into the darkness of the night. I couldn’t even read the letters. It took me minute or so to realize I was about 8 blocks down from where I needed to be. Great. If I had charged my phone I could use siri, but I need to preserve as much battery as I can. I need to think more, mom would kill me if she knew I let my phone die like this. Speaking of, let me tell her I am on my way home.

Hey mom, everything is all good. I am heading home now, ttyl.

I hope she replies before my phone dies.

Where are you? Said my mom, her text message lit up my phone. Almost as a beacon, for my journey ahead.

I'm heading toward 12th and Oregon to catch the bus now, I have to walk through a few neighborhoods.

She replied, Ok be careful. Please call when you get on the bus.

11 percent.

Oh wow, I walked four blocks already? This isn’t so bad. The streetlights on this side of the street are getting dimmer though, so I should probably cross over.

Hey you nigger! Get out of our neighborhood, before we have to force you out. Your kind isn’t welcomed around here.  

Who is he talking to? He isn’t talking to me right? Is there anyone else walking besides me? I turned a round, and saw a group of tall men on the corner of a pub. They’re probably drunk.

Yeah keep on, somebody watch her and make sure she doesn’t disappear into the night.

Are you serious? I would have never thought of hearing this outside of a Hollywood Movie! I thought of saying something, but my body kept moving forward. He really just called me that. So much for times have changed, “We Are the World” bullcrap! You know what, why don’t I say something back? I’ll shut him down real quick. I tried to gather the words to say, but my mind blocked me from putting them together. My brain was like an intense game of scrabble. Why couldn’t I twist words off the tip of my tongue, and hurt this man’s pride like he did mine? The word kept repeating in my mind, like a broken record in a way taunting me.  WHY COULDN’T I SAY ANYTHING! I realized, I could never stoop down that low. To judge someone for something they cannot change, is not who I am. The difference between him and I is

Ignorance.

I’m not even gonna give this racist the time of day. The bus stop is right down the block. To avoid this, I’ll just hurry along before this escalates. I hear a commotion, are they following me? I’m already on my way, Leave me alone! There goes the bus, I need to run. Running seems like the only way to escape the harassment. I ran to the bus, swiped my pass and I smiled to my bus driver. I pulled out my phone to text my mom, 5 percent.

Mom, I’m on the bus. Man do I have a story to tell you.


English Monologue-Master of Self Doubt

Ok, today is the day, I’m gonna talk to her, I'm not gonna wimp out of it anymore. I want to meet her and get to know her so bad, I just haven’t had the courage to talk to her yet. She’s just so… perfect, there’s no other way to describe it. I mean you guys understand right, that one special girl that you just lay your eyes on and you are already on cloud 9. That’s who Anna is to me, that dream girl. I always see her and have classes with her, and I’ve always wanted to say “Hi,” at the very least but I could never build up the courage. Well, that all changes today! In about 3 minutes lunch is gonna start and she should be walking out of her History class. That’s when I make my move and just go up to her. No.. no I can’t… no there’s no point, she probably won’t like me or wanna talk to me anyways, I mean I’m a boring person and I’m sure as hell not funny. The only reason she would laugh is probably out of awkwardness. GOD WHY AM I LIKE THIS. Why do I have to be so self-conscious and put myself down so much… oh, wait I do know why it’s because my standards are too high. I don’t have a chance with her…. *bell rings and door to history opens, Anna is one of the first people to walk out*

*Whispers- Oh no there she is, it’s now or never.” Hey, Anna, what’s up? Oh, you’re going to lunch, nice, nice sounds like fun. What me? Oh, I’m just chilling you know, I’m probably gonna go get some lunch in a little bit but for now, I’m good. Yea it was nice talking to you too, we can definitely grab some lunch together sometime. *Waving towards the distance as if she was walking away* That was easier than I thought… or was it. No that was a good little conversation… oh, who am I kidding she probably thought I was a weirdo. I probably made that so awkward…. UGHHHHH GOD WHY AM I SO CRINGEY?! Why can’t I be like any other guy and be able to talk to a girl in the snap of a finger, no hesitation, no nothing?! WHYY!? Why do I have to be so weird? I just want to be able to talk to her, nothing more, and I can’t even do that. Mannnn… how can I expect to one day maybe get her to like me enough to give me a chance and go out with me if I can’t even talk to her? I should just give up right now and accept that I’m going to just be alone forever. *Looks over and sees Anna coming back towards him smiling* Hey Anna *nervously* Wait.. you want to go grab lunch right now? Yea sure that sounds nice, let’s go, I just need to grab something from my locker really quick. Yea I'll meet you downstairs. *Waves at Anna again* Did you guys see that!? I talked to her, this is amazing. I’m gonna finally get a chance to hang out with her. I mean seriously this is awesome, I’m going to go eat lunch with...Anna...by ourselves… that’s almost like a date. OMG! NO WAY! I’M GOING TO GET LUNCH WITH ANNA! WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!? *Begins to walk away from the camera/ audience* Oh right, gotta get my coat, almost forgot about that with all this excitement in me, haha.

Voice Reading: https://soundcloud.com/marcinc-413191176/voice0060

A Day in the Life of Esther


Hi, the name’s Esther. Here’s some stuff about me. I’m age 68, and I live in my own house, alone. It’s just me and my dog, Feefers. All my kids moved out, so now I’m an empty n-ESTHER! Ha, get it? Like an empty nester, right? I’ve been perfecting that joke for 15 years... We live an elegant life, Feefers and I do. Today’s just like any other day. Me and Feefers are enjoying a breakfast meal: I’ve got my oatmeal, Feefers has her dog-meal. Everything is always very calm at breakfa-- OH FEEFERS, OH NO, FEEFERS, WHATSA MATTER, GIRL?

Is there someone at the door?

Oh goodness, well he’s in the wrong spot. I wasn’t expecting any very large, intimidating visitors.

(opens door) Hi sir, I think you might have the wrong hou-MMPPHHHH

(sound of a person falling to the ground)
W-w-where am I? Where’s Feefers? Where’s my breakfast oatmeal?

Oh, there’s a familiar face, it’s the large intimidating man from earlier. Where the heck am I?

Prison? What’d I do?

No, I haven’t heard of any “Giovanni”. My grandson named his fish “Giovanni”, if that’s what you’re talkin’ bout.

Owe money? To this “Giovanni”? I’d never give anyone money! Who do you think I am?
You’re testing my patience here, pal. So listen, I’m gonna count to ten, and if I’m not home in front of my morning oatmeal, I’ll slap you silly! I may look frail, but I pack a mean punch!
1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9…

9 and a haaaalllllffffff…

9 and 3 quarters…

Listen, bucko. You don’t know who you’re messin’ with here. I’m about to say 10, and when I do, you better be moving.

….and 10!

Well kiddo, you asked for it. Take this!

Ow! Okay, you’ve got abs, I won’t deny it.

Whaddayamean, “give me the money back and it’ll all be good”? I didn’t give noone no money to begin with! (to herself) the darn youth these days, with their extortion and their silly games.. I just wanted my morning oatmeal.

Hey, what’s goin’ on? What’s that earpiece?

My name? Esther! I’m surprised you didn’t ask before! (to herself) goodness gracious, these kids are rude! Oy gevalt!

My house? I’m on 7001.

You were looking for 7002? Oy vey! I can’t believe the kids today!

Well, I’m going home. Have a nice day, and good luck with your Mafioso-ing!

Pink

Dear Mr. President,


[should all be read quickly and eagerly, like a small child, sad parts slow down like a little kid too]

My name is Lexi, and I am 6 and 3 quarters. My birthday is February 15th and that’s one day after Valentine’s Day which is the day of love. My teacher asked me to write about something I love. But I love a lot of stuff. I love pizza and swimming, but I hate pink. Pink is for babies and I’m a big girl now. Never wear pink, Mr. President, because I won’t like it. My mommy likes pink though, especially when the sun rises and the clouds turn into cotton candy in the sky. I love my mommy. I also love my daddy. They love me too. They love me soooooo much that they’d do anything for me. They tell me that every day just so I’ll remember. I think that’s silly though because I’m smart, so I’ll remember it anyway. My teacher wants me to write about how much we love you, Mr. President. I think I can do that.

My mommy really loves you. She said that she voted for you a whole 2 years before I was born. Two years is pretty long if you ask me. She said that the White House was in serious danger because some really bad men were trying to live in it, and we needed a hero to come protect us. She said that you were different from all the other Mr. Presidents that came before you, and that you were the one who could save the day! You were the one who could change the world and keep our country happy and safe forever! When you won, my mommy cried big happy tears. In 2012, I went behind the blue blanket to help push the button with your name on it to make you win again. When you won, my mommy told me our country was still safe from the bad guys. The big tears happened all over. This year was really different. We didn’t get to push your name.

Why did you take your name away, Mr. President? My teacher told me it’s because you have to give someone else a turn, but you’re doing a great job keeping out the baddies, so it’s fine with me if you just stay. This year, Mommy wasn’t so happy to watch TV with me anymore. She would turn it off sometimes when this one man came on the screen. He had tiny little eyes and almost-gone hair like Daddy’s that was always rushing away from his face. Kind of like it was blowing in the wind but all the time. When he talked, his mouth got really small like he was biting a lemon, and he would move his hands around like he was my music teacher. The weirdest thing about him though was his orange skin. It was almost as orange as my friend Crissy’s hair, except by his eyes. Sometimes this man was hunched over behind a tall table, talking to a blonde haired woman that made Mommy smile. Other times, he was just talking to the screen. He was always yelling at Mommy through the box. He always looked angry. He always said mean things. I asked my teacher about the big orange man one day, and she told me that he was trying to get your job, Mr. President! Can you believe that? When my teacher told me that, I got really upset and I threw my notebook. She got stern with me, but I told her that you can’t just take someone’s job like that, especially not a hero’s! She still told my mom. Luckily my mommy agreed with me, so she didn’t get too angry. Mommy says the orange man has none of the experience that you need to be a good president for our country, and that he is mean to all of the people who don’t look and think like him. She said he would break our country. That sounds bad. Daddy doesn’t hate him like Mommy does. He says the orange man will make more jobs, and he needs one. He says he will run the country like a business, and make us all rich! I want to be rich too!...But Mommy says he’s a bully. Sometimes we watch the TV all together. Sometimes it’s not fun. Mommy gets upset and Daddy tells her she’s being stupid because of course the orange man can’t actually do anything that bad to the Mexicans, but Mommy says it doesn’t matter, it’s the fact that he says it at all, and I just sit there. Mr. President?

Last night, Mommy made Daddy and leave our house for the night. When I asked Mommy why he left, she said it was because the nice old woman didn’t get picked to take your job. She said the mean orange man did, and Daddy helped him. She told him that he was just as bad as the orange man himself. My dad threw something at the wall. I could hear it from my bed. I heard the door slam too. My mom crawled into my bed last night. This time she wasn’t crying big happy tears. These were blue. They were the ones that leave a big line on your face because they don’t stop for a while. Like when a boy takes your toy while the other kids are watching, but when you tell on him, they all shake their heads. And the teacher gives the boy the toy. And the kids walk away with him, laughing. And you know you’re all alone. Those kind of tears. When I woke up next to my mommy this morning, the sky outside was gray and still. The birds weren’t singing. Cars barely honked. The world was stiff and tired. Mommy didn’t smile today.

Mr. President, I know you aren’t going to have your job for much longer, but if you can do one last thing for us, can you please make the birds sing and the sky pink again? I think that will make Mommy smile.


Love,

Lexi


Scattered Thoughts

Recorded Version

Scattered Thoughts

Do you think it could, or.. do you think it should be okay if I were to transfer schools.  I am just tired of the whole environment, it's too much for me. I have no free time, it is impossible to be able to focus on personal interests and still succeed. They care too much about each student. you have to contribute part of yourself to each assignment. It’s almost like every paper becomes a personal realization that I strongly do not want to share with these people. I feel guilty for seriously considering it, I feel a lot of pressure from all sides to stay. I haven’t told anyone directly, but I know that my family’s whole routine is centered on the fact that attend this school. I don’t want to be a nuisance. I don’t think my friends would mind terribly, but it would come as a shock, because to them it is a perfectly lovely school. I just don’t have the experience they do.

They care too much about each student, I need to go somewhere that I don’t care about, and does not care about me.

I know that sounds worse, but I feel like I constantly have to pretend that everything I do is of legitimate interest to me. The only reason this is seriously eating away at me, is because despite how fed up I am with it, I don’t have any passion or interest that would replace the effort I have to put into school. If I just stopped going to school altogether, it wouldn’t be to find more time with my friends. I never go out of my way to find interaction. I’m even confused at what I want. I find it weird that I want this big of a change, even though I have no motivation to do literally anything with my life-during high school and even after. I’m a dead end.

You're my therapist, tell me what I want. Sorry, I know that's not how therapy works.

Maybe I just need room to find my way, and not be so suffocated by this school’s demands. I think if I were to ask my dad he would say that I wouldn’t find anything if I have total freedom. Yeah, I think I agree with the imaginary response of my father, but that's not what I’m after. I’d even prefer a school that would just make me do hours of busywork. I only want to not be terrified of what new thing I’ll have to do tomorrow.

I'm too vulnerable at carver, I don’t want to let that much of my personality and work to be able to collide. Just think, If I had went to any other high school in Atlanta, maybe I would suck this much. Who tries to analyze themselves this much? I doubt I would even think this way if I wasn’t alone so often.

I’ve really just messed up all of my relationships. I think that's why I want I want to leave, just to forget about everything that bothers me here, try to start over. Even if I were to leave, I’d probably still think about the scattered relationships I’m escaping.

I guess I’ll have to just have to try and hold out and drive myself into madness, or try my best to stop avoiding myself and these people.


To Read or Not to Read by Harlem Satterfield

It should be around here somewhere...is it here? No...there? No….ummm...AHA! Here it is! I’ve been looking for this for so long.  I can’t wait to read this. I bet this’ll be…oh…hey Dad. What are you doing here?

What do I have here? Oh, umm…it’s a book. I was going to start reading it for class. I need it for English this quarter.

What book is it? It’s uh…it’s called “War of the Skeletons.” I’ve been looking for it for a while.

Uh, yeah, you can see it. I know it’s not something you’d want me to read, but-

Wait what? Why!?!

B-But it’s a good book! I actually want to read it! Ms. Vomohap said-

Are you seriously bringing this up now? Of all times?

...

Why are you being like this dad, you never let me read what I want! You’re always telling me to read harder books and now that I have one, you won’t let me read it! And for what reason? It makes no sense!

Why are you always so critical? This doesn’t even affect you! You never let me have any fun whatsoever! All you do is criticize me! You always think I’m playing video games when on my laptop! And it’s not like you do it to everyone, either. If my brothers we’re to make a mistake, they’d just get a slap on the wrist! You don’t even yell at mom that much! It’s always me! Why do I always have to get the lecture? It’s not fair! Now, I really need a book to read for class. My teacher said it could be anything as long as it’s something adequate for a 10th grader to read! And this is!

I don’t want to take any of YOUR books. I want to bring my own! Besides, your books are so boring!

Why? Because they’re so long! I don’t want to spend my time reading a 50 chapter book! And there always about the same thing! I know how they all end! There’s some kid who’s a nobody, they find out they some secret or superpower, then they meet a girl and ends up dating them at the end. I know!

...

It’s because of the subject, isn’t it?

...

The book is set in a famous video game, and I know how you feel about them. You’ve always hated video games. Always.

...

Ok, let’s say that I had a book about World War II. It’s exactly like this one, a lot of chapters, no pictures, everything. Accept it’s a very violent book and goes into full detail about the war. It’s gory details fly through your head and never come out, resulting in endless nightmares and such. Would you have let me read that? Have you?

I thought so.

....

Look Dad, I know you’re upset, and I know how much you want me to read. You want me to be better, and I do too. So I started by picking out a book about something that interests me, because then I’ll have a reason to pick it back up. I really want to take a look at this book. So can you please, please let me read it?

….

Really? You’ll let me? Seriously? I actually convinced you.

….

Thank you! Finally I can read something!

….

You won’t be disappointed, Dad! Not at all!

(Dad leaves, character looks at book)

I better make the best of this. If I’m going to change, this is a good start. I remember when my brother read this a few months ago, and he said it was awesome. I think it’s awesome, too. So, yeah, I’m going to read this, no matter what anyone says! I now have something to read!


If video does not work go here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwshJIYsxV0&feature=youtu.be

English Monologue: For Him

(Does the sign of the cross)


In the name of The Father, of The Son, and of The Holy Spirit.


(Proceeds to pray as her hands are in prayer position)


Oh Lord, I ask that you watch over my family and friends. That you guide us in the right direction and help keep us from harm. I pray my grandpa is watching over me from Heaven, but can I ask? Ask why you would take him away from me. Why you would take someone who had so much faith in you away from their family?


(Remove hands from prayer position and intensifies tone of voice)


Haven't you seen what I’ve been through? Don’t you remember how much faith I have in you or had I should say. I … I just can’t do this anymore. I’m done believing.


You’ve failed me. After everything I’ve done! After everything I’ve been through, all you do is put me through more pain. You said that Jesus died for us. That he died to prevent us from the pain he went through when he was nailed to the cross, but if that's true then why did you leave my grandpa helpless in a hospital bed dying from cancer!


(Runs her hands through her hair and starts to pace/walk around the room as she talks)


I’d spent an integral part of my adolescence in a hospital. Fox Chase Cancer Center to be exact, and even though it wasn't me who was sick, I would have prefered that compared to the actuality of the situation. My best friend was in the hospital with stage four cancer.


He was such a happy person. Not even being diagnosed with cancer could dull his sparkle, but the chemotherapy did. It made him weak. Tired. I could see how the pain affected him whenever I’d visit.


(Pause and look up)


He was the matriarch of our family. Yet the chemotherapy made him weak when we needed him most.


(Look like you’re about to cry)


All we wanted was for him to be okay! We’d be excited when they’d tell us that he could come home, but we’d be distressed and depressed when we’d have to bring him to the emergency room no more than 3 weeks later.


(Look like you’ve had a train of thought and then smile)


I visited my grandpa everyday after school hoping he would get better. It put a smile on my face to see how his eyes lit up when I walked into the room. “Hola Ava” he would say. “Hola Abuelo” I would reply as I walked towards him to give him a hug.


For the rest of the afternoon, we would watch tv with our family, and tell corny jokes until it was time for us to go home. “I love you Abuelo” I'd tell him before I left.  “I love you too” he’d say with a cheesy smile on his face. It made me happy to see that he was happy. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.


(Look towards the ceiling)


God, during his treatment I stopped believing. Believing that you would help the situation, that you would make everything better. As he continued to get worse I continued to wonder why you would do this to me, to my family, to our family. I was on constant alert fearing that one day you would take him away from me.


(Short Pause)


Every time I saw him the last sentence I would say to him was I love you. I said I love you because was I so scared that I would lose him at any moment.


(Intensify the urgency as this sentence is said)


Do you know how emotionally unstable that makes a child? To know that her grandpa, her best friend, could die from esophageal cancer at any minute.


(Pause)


And then it happened. On an early afternoon in August he died. My dad hadn't told me until we got home, but I could sense that something was wrong before then. I tried to prepare myself, but I wasn’t ready to hear the news. I don’t think anyone else was either. His death affected me deeper than I could even fathom.


(Start speaking in a slight whisper)


It made me lose faith. Faith in you, your religion, and I’m sorry.  Saying all of this has helped me realized that it isn’t your fault. My feelings of anger and betrayal were out of distress, despair. I was trying to find someone to blame the situation on, and you just happened to be the target.


You were the only person I thought could help him and seeing how he hadn’t gotten any better I took that as you failing, but (Sigh) I was wrong to blame you. I mean you did help him live four and half years longer than the doctors said he would. In fact they called his survival a miracle.


(Slowly does the sign of the cross)


And with that being said, I’m sorry.


(Slight Pause)


Amen. (She says as she bows her head)


English Monologue -Cripple Struggles

Hey, what’s up. I haven’t seen you in a long time. What?What is it, What you mean, Ohh, this? Heh.Yea It’s a pain in the butt. What do you mean how this happen?


Well, long story short, I was at practice during Ultimate, and while sprinting to block someone I was bouta run into a freshman, and I didn’t want to hurt him so I jump to the side and when I did, I was running extremely fast and when I jumped I had a misstep and I twisted it pretty badly.Man I should’ve just ran him over(jokingly). I’m too nice. But now I been stuck like this for a while now. At, first I didn’t think it was that bad, I just needed to get an Xray to make sure. Then I was told I have a fractured, had an appointment set for them to look into it more and then it turned into also having a dislocated tendon. And then it was recommend I had surgery which turned even more crazy, my mom started freaking out saying nonsense and stuff.


Well, I can’t blame her, she is my mom, and she did have her experience with surgery which went pretty ermmm. But that doesn’t mean the same thing would happen to me. I’m not going want to walk around with a messed up ankle and never run again. I would rather take the surgery and have a normal ankle again which they said I would have if I do it because there was low risk chances. It was all crazy, all my mom did was tell me how it was going to be painful and blah blah. Like I knew what I was going to go through, and I’m willing to do it. But all she did was complain and get on my nerves. After appointments and appointments we decided we was going to do it. My mom was out of options so she couldn’t really avoid the surgery. But I was prepared, I wasn’t planning on throwing my reputation on the team away. And I’m still young I need to stay active yanno? But woooo, that surgery was a pain in the ass after. You can say there was a lot of needles, and then after the surgery It was painful the first few days. Pain meds didn’t really help. I couldn’t really sleep because It would feel like my wound was reopening itself, it would feel like I can feel the stitches pop one by one as it slowly open. Oh boy.Well I was in a split, but after one of my appointments they took it off and put me in a cast.Man you should’ve saw my leg, it was interesting you can say. Like it became so skinny,and wrinkly, it just wasn’t nice to see it. The aftermath I guess. I’m going to be stuck like this for a little more, but after it’s all over I’m going to work in getting back in shape. Going to have therapy to help with that too.

But I want to come back strong this spring. My mom doesn’t support me still playing sports and etc tho. Especially after what happen. I’m not sure If I would be allow to play, I hope I will be able to. If i do I have to be more careful next time, because your arms and legs and a valuable part of your body. It was a good first experience in a way.Can wait until, The Return of Michael. Well shit, long story short turn into me telling you mostly what happen haha. I can’t wait to be out of this. Until then, a positive mindset is good.


-life-2

English Monologue - Thunder He Cries

Thunder He Cries

Silence You’ve lost all but one, me. rain drizzling sound

It hits me when you’re hurt, when you’re drowning in deep sorrow until you’re yet to hit rock bottom. thunder sound, continues to rain drizzling You seek a light so bright, yet you’re stuck in the dark. You blame yourself, but it’s not you. You’ve made mistakes, but you’ve learned from them. You had little from the start, not much to spare. It meant everything to you, everything. You’ve lost it though, all of it. The little you had is now nothing. How do you feel? another thunder No don’t cry, don’t sob. Because you were wrong. I was wrong. You have me. I’m worth more than everything you once had. What you’ve lost, it was never there to stay. It was on a joyride that came upon you. You enjoyed it then, but now it’s gone. There never was a permanent commitment. You don’t know what it feels like to have a permanent commitment, but you do have one. One you do not realize until that point in life you will stumble upon, and when you do you will lose it all. Me. pauses Do you not believe me? thunder sound, silence There has been many points in your life where I have been with you. I helped you. I lived those moments with you whether they were good or bad. I was there. Me. thunder, rain drizzles continues You were never alone from the moment you met me. It may have not seemed like it, but that’s not because you didn’t notice my presence, it’s because you were not comfortable enough to throw your issues at me. You choose to leave me out and expect me to be there? How? I’m not a magical being, I’m human, just like you. You make mistakes, I know, I do too. Everyone does. BUT quick thunder a mistake takes more than one person. You’re not alone.


I can’t believe you were going to let this happen to you. I don’t care if you don’t love yourself or if your parents can’t find a reason to love you, because I do and I will teach you how to love yourself. storm gets loud You have to know it wasn’t your fault that your parents are always fighting, it’s not your fault that they do not believe in love.


No, it’s okay. I understand. Do you? Pauses, rain drizzles continue I know it’s hard to believe. I’m not God. I can’t save you. But whatever you go through, I’ll go through WITH you. It’s hard. I understand, but hey, you’re most certainly not alone. You’re most certainly not the only one that cares. sighs as if his message did not get through to the significant other You don’t have to believe me. It’s your choice. Everything you do is your choice. There may be a lot of significant others that influences your choices, but in the end, the choice you make is yours. The consequences you get are yours. This doesn’t mean you deal with the consequences alone. You have me. I choose to be with you. I choose to drag my life through all that you need or want me to be there with you for. Like the many times your dad left your mom for a few days and she was always drinking and causing problems with you, I was there. Just like how you would tell me good news that we could celebrate together. Like that time you got your first college acceptance letter with full scholarship, I was there. You can also tell me not-so-good things that you wouldn’t want to be alone for. Like that time your mom kicked you out of the house and you had nowhere to go so you called your brother and I had to find out through him weeks later. quiet sob over the rain drizzle


Do you? Do you know? If not just let me know and I’ll go. No, I know. I know you love me. I love you too. But it’s not that easy. Love is a four letter word that crashes just like how life is a four letter word that would always burn you, scar you. Love is meant the same way. Oh… No, you know I didn’t mean it in that way. I’m exposing this to you so that you can realize what is here for you. Me. pauses Why is it so hard for you to understand? Why is it so hard for you to believe?! bang/thunder I’m sorry. No, I didn’t mean to…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNHQorBIHJI

English Monologue:Better Days

audio via google drive-https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B4o7xZVa6WS1TFBkN1A1WUhITjA


You bonehead! Why do you have to say something like that?  For once can you shut your mouth and be respectful, not everyone has to be your sex toy.


You weren't always like this you know, you used to be nice and most of all respectful. I know you don’t want to talk about this especially not here, where we first started when we met where we made something more out of ourselves together.  Before falling apart really seeing the face behind the mask.   I thought I loved you! Boy, I was wrong! you're nothing but a disrespectful whore.


I know you know exactly where this is going to go but this time is going to be different, this time you're going to listen or were done, if you F this is like you always do then goodbye I'm not talking to you again, you do this then look at me like you did nothing wrong, and then with a quiet voice that almost just almost makes you sound like you really actually care, then you squeak out, I'm sorry if that offended you?


I'm Sorry if that offended you? Well if you were really sorry you wouldn’t do it F every day.  You won’t, rate women by how hot they are or act like the only reason they exist is to fuck them.    


Almost every time you open your big ass mouth, something stupid comes out.  If you're really sorry then show it, I used to be proud to be your friends now I don’t want to be seen with you.  Pointing and laughing at like it some kind of joke, it’s sickening I don’t even want to be around you, put myself through this every day.  When you stop and look at me with your eyes almost crying and say it was only a joke. I can’t keep letting myself take this torture it hurts. To hear and see James, I used to look to look at you and see someone so kind and so compassionate and now I see a jerk who covers it up with thier huge smile and big wide eyes.   


I want to laugh also so explain it to me please, I don’t get it why the hell you think this is  alright. If you think this is some kind of joke it not funny. I want to be your friend, your best friend like we used to be. When we knew each other and our conversation had an impact, when we mattered to each other.   You're making it kind of hard if I have to put up with this, every day.


(pause waiting for a response)


You're an ass and you're mad at me for pointing it out.  I’m saying my honest opinion about what you do. You're saying I’m the ass for telling you what I think instead of standing there agreeing with you, the way women are supposed  to right?!


(pause waiting for a response)


RIGHT?!


I don’t even know what to say any more to you,  I look back and it magic and I stand here and it’s hell, washing over us.  I thought we were perfect. (crying) If I had known it would come to this I don’t know if I ever would have tried. We had so many good times. But looking back they were only full of cruel jokes and lies. I honestly cannot forgive myself for being a part of that.


So, go ahead and say whatever you want me to believe, try and use you tilted head and big eyes to make everything ok. It’s not going to work this time, I can’t keep doing this, forgiving you and forcing myself to forget what is really happening.  


I tried and kept trying, watching as you point as laugh like it no big deal, pointing out every single flaw someone has, when there just walking down the street, I can’t anymore after all that you have done.  You final pushed to my breaking point rubbing me off, treating me like a servant, like a slave to your every wish.   I nothing to you anymore, nobody is to you we're all just there for sex when you want it.   


Well I'm sorry then that it had to come to this, but I can’t put up with this anymore and You're not going to change, for me we both know what your happy the way you are, with or without me, you know what I'm glad, You can have your fun and I can have new better friends, it a win-win situation,  Nobody is on the bottom.  


Don’t bother saying you're going to change, I don’t believe you. I tried it all with you, you're not going to change so don’t bother lying to me or yourself, someone will be ok  with it  just not me. We were once so strong, now here we are barely holding on to the sight of each other as we walk away.   


Bye I guess, there nothing really else to say.


I'm Coming by Majd Bostani

“I’m Coming”

walks into room with flight book in hand, opens up book, and starts crying

What the heck does a runway guard light look like?

I really don’t know anymore. This summer hasn’t allowed me to focus on anything. I already had to drop out of summer Geometry, and now I can’t even remember what I worked so hard on for flight school. My life was flipped around like it’s some kind of aerobatic thrill ride without any gravity.

“Go flying. You’ll be closer to him… then you are now,” my pilot buddies told me.

They’re just trying to get money from me. I’m not feeling good, both emotionally and physically! I have been like this for a week now. How am I supposed to get all better on Wednesday?

It’s not like he has any superpowers to get us back to normal in two days.

The worst hit I could probably take would be to go to my flight lesson and have my instructor take the controls from me because I forgot how to respond to whatever kind of situation he tests me on. If I want to fly, I want to fly. I’m paying for the plane, not my instructor. I don’t want my instructor to fly the plane for me.

“You leave it all on the ground when you fly”, they say. All of the stress of day-to-day life.

Well, the struggle is getting off of the ground. If I want to fly, I don’t want to cry for 20 minutes after all of the airport people offer me their condolences. I don’t want to embarrass myself during the ground test and have it feel like a setback to my progress.

My dad wouldn’t have wanted to see me cancel a lesson out of pure stress. Being a pilot himself, he would always stress not being stressed when flying.

“Fatigue is what kills most pilots. Always sleep for two extra hours, eat something nutritious, and make sure you are at your 150% when you fly.” My dad would remind me the night before a flight lesson.

Oh man, how much do I miss seeing my dad everyday? I’ve spent all 495,239,400 seconds of my life with my dad. That’s 6732 days. That’s better than any Snapchat streak will ever be. My dad has never steered me wrong, and I think that I should cancel this flight lesson out of respect for him and what he would say.

“You need to fly, Majd. I want you to escape from this depressing state of mind.”, my aunt told me.

Well yeah, I do need to get my mind off of stuff, but suppressing the loss of the most important person in my life… is unreal. That’s like not reacting along with a nose dive, and not trying to correct it.

“You still have it, Majd,” my aunt told me.

If I still have it, then why couldn’t I remember a page of the Airplane Flying Handbook? I don’t want this lesson to be the thing that ruins fourteen months of hard work. I want to feel ready for this lesson. The problem is that I don’t feel ready. I’m not sure if it will take me a month, a year, or a century to get back to feeling my best. But when that does happen, I’ll start doing what I love again.

(really excited tone) You know what, screw it. SCREW IT! It will be a lot more worthwhile if I go up and have fun. My depression is bad enough! I know I will be closer to my father in the air, then here, sitting on my ass in bed crying. Who cares if my instructor has to take over? I’m sure he will understand and respect everything I do. Heck, I could even take cousin Riley, who has been there for me every step of the way. Dadio wants to see him as much as he wants to see me. I’m sure my instructor is going to understand what I’m going through.

“Dadio, I found a better way to get up there and spend time with you!” “Let’s fly! Riley’s coming too!”

starts crying once more

English Monologue: Coffee Break

I came back home, it was maybe like, uh, 6 o clock? Yeah, something like that. I got out a little late and traffic just wasn’t on my side. Something else that day wasn’t on my side too. I opened the door, and dropped my bag.

What do you mean why am I late? You know that I can come home whenever I want right?... Oh, I have the attitude.

You know what? I can’t it hold it anymore, I need to address this now.

Oh gosh, my throat is starting to swell up, like when you’re crying or about to cry you can feel it get like really puffed up and it hurts to talk, well that's what is happening. Aghhh, the pressure in my chest,  it feels like I’m getting crushed by air, either that or I’m getting crushed by my emotions.

I know exactly what you were doing today…

Pause, everything stops. She isn’t moving anymore, my hands, they are getting very cold but wet.. She wasn’t like this, she really wasn’t. She was the good girl. Maybe I got her mixed up.

What do you mean, you just went to get coffee with Carl? What, were you drinking it out of his mouth!?

I try my best not to shout, but it’s not always easy like that, anyway, I have to try my best not to have tears rolling down my eyes, that and well controlling my voice, I need to remain neutral.  

Oh, you were just friends too I guess? Well that’s how it always starts, doesn't it?

My heart feels so soft, so vulnerable, how can I just be standing here every single day with it open to her just to stab it. How could I have let all my guard down and not pick anything up for so long? Because I trusted her. Yeah, that's why.

So for how long? Huh? Just answer me, at this point, it doesn’t even matter, I know what was happening and it's over…

No! Why would I give you another chance? You have to be out of your mind.

How was she still going to sit there and beg me for another chance? Once you break a heart, you can only tape it together, she doesn't understand that, though. But the crack will still remain there, on the inside, even though it’s not visible.

You already did the action, you can’t reverse it. Why, though? Like what did I do wrong?

Maybe it was me, maybe I just wasn’t providing.

I moved up the entire east coast for you. From Florida to Massachusetts. And you know what? This is my house. I pay for it, it's in my name.

I’m done, I’m heartbroken and I don't want to see her anymore. Just looking at her here pleading, no, I can’t fall into temptation. I want to have her out, yes that's what I want. I don't want anything else to do with her. I feel like my feelings are conflicting, a whole battle going on inside. I still love her and can’t face the fact of departure but she did this me. She destroyed me.

What are you waiting for huh?! Just leave, go to him.

She always knew better, I knew he wouldn’t want to stop at friends, it’s sort of a thing most guys can sense out. Just know the intentions of others, especially when it’s about a loved one.

He lives with his parents? Well, guess who’s gonna have be joining them.. You know what? You have until 8 to get out..

It pained me to see her with him, picking her up from work sometimes or just stopping by to drop off her coffee or the papers she forgot at home. You know, it wasn’t a good feeling.

What do I do now.. *Mutters*

She has become such a big part of my life, and now she is gone, or at least forced out of my life.

In the Life of a ¨No¨

          In the Life of a ¨No¨

Sweet heart you finally came, you really came, come sit next to me give me your hand I want to tell you some things today.  Why are you looking at me like that,  I know what you’re thinking, but that's not important anymore. No no you will not come here everyday just to watch me wither away slowly. Live life while you can be free. Look at me I am your living example. Physically I have the doctors standing over me watching every single one of my steps, very carefully telling me what I can and can't do. There is an invisible bondage of shackles. All around me from every corner all I hear is “No, that is harmful, no we can’t give you that, no sorry we don’t think that’s possible, NO, NO, NO!!” hearing these words is now a part of my daily routine. They tell me what to eat, do and wear. Even without them I still have the machines watching every one of my moves, from what I’m eating to the calculation of my heart beat.

My last wishes are nothing to them their only job is to keep me “alive”, alive physically but not mentally. The binding words of the doctors ¨no sugar¨ or you will have a fast death no getting up from bed, rest or you might feel weak. Listen to me sweet heart never let anyone tell you what you can and can't do. Your death is already written for you, when you're supposed to die you will die. Those small things that they say no to you for when they say “No, that's too dangerous, No thats gonna hurt” these are the the things in your path that stop you from getting to your bigger goal. Do you want your whole life to be controlled? If you don’t start to follow your dreams and heart now one day you too will be lying on this hospital bed alone, nothing but the orders of the doctors and your relatives controlling the rest of your life or in my case days. I sit and watch the sun as it goes up and then back down, every sunset counting the last of my days. My only movement from sitting up to laying back down, my whole life concealed in four corners of a room and my body connected to a machine, my bed is angled at the right direction so the sun hits my face right at dawn and then once it's gone I am left to stare at those dull blue curtains. I watch life go by and dream only dream in my bed, in my bed of sorrows. It’s as if though they all waited for me to get this weak and old so they could just place me here. Yes your father and your uncles pay for everything but that's not what brings me happiness. Sending me to this dull hospital bed isn’t what is pleasing me. My life consisted of starting out with the rule of my parents then settling down with a family of my own, raising your father and then your grandfather left me, now I sit here alone left with only my thoughts to accompany me, clouding over me and making me realize how it's all too late. Only I can understand how I feel the pain of watching everyone live on running, jumping, dancing, hopping and walking doing what they want while these wires and needles are the only thing binding me to this bedpost. They have my body here but my soul has already died and fled to another world.  Rather than dying a slow awaited stretched out death I wanted to die proud and accomplished. But that is impossible when you have so many restrictions that you are faced with. Even on your deathbed there is no escape you have every eye on you, mourning. These wrinkles and ripples on my skin are here to prove something I am your grandmother and I have seen and experienced a lot in my time, if there is one thing I can tell you with all my heart is to do what you want before it's too late never limit yourself, never let anyone tell you you can’t. Never take No for an answer.


https://soundcloud.com/aysha-siddiquee/in-the-life-of-a-no

Late night talks

Heyyyyyy
Are you my uber, Carl S-Sagan? Oh, it's Carlos?

My bad Carl, I'm Caesar.

Where I am I going? Um let's see the home I think yeah. Oh where yeah that makes sense um let's think 24th and Peridot I think that is where I live, My apartment is cool you should be able to see it from the street I forgot to turn off the light so you can see my fake plant and my poster of Nas, I like Nas.

Where am I coming from you ask? The bar isn’t it obvious? [lifts up up a bottle] 17th and Geno? At this rate it's gonna take foreverrrr.[Slides back in seat]. There was quiet for a second Tell me a story!.

A story about MY family afraid’ not Carlton closest thing I had to a family was my wife well except she wasn’t my wife she was my girlfriend.[Looking out the window dramatically] You don’t get it, Cole! She wasn’t your run of the mill dane, she was to kill for. Man, how old should she be now? [Pulls out fingers and starts counting] I’m twenty-four and she was a year younger than me so that would make her...yeah 23 something like that. [Pause] No you don’t *hic* you don’t get it, Comatose , she was my world my Mundo as the french say. [Puts head in lap], what was she like,um let me think. She was tough as nails a real never had to say it twice, always wanting to talk on late summer nights, bars! [Raised bottle] Kind of like this one [Looks out the window again]. What happened? I’ll tell you what happened?! I leave Brooklyn for a week One Week![holding up a finger]. Then she tells me “I can’t be with you anymore, I don’t love you, I’m sorry” I ask Why she gives me a whole spiel about “You never pay attention to me, you make me self-conscious about my body, and you don’t listen” I tell you, Cody, I’m the most concentrated man you have ever met, I turned my eye for a second then she’s gone she thinks I don’t look at her Instagram with a fake account to see she’s with a new guy a day later! I tell ya Christopher dating was so much easier when I was in high school! Empathy? What about me?!

HOW ABOUT MY FEELINGS CONNOR?! I spent all those years putting her feelings before mine I left my dog with my parents because she was allergic, I didn’t have to do that, I sold my motorcycle because she thought I’d hurt myself and I went with it. I stop cooking my grilled cheese sandwiches on the roof because she said it was “Unsanitary” and I battled her for that one but I quit. It sounds like she cared for me? What did she do for me that made my happy ABSOLUTELY NOTHING? “Buy me this buy my that, what clothes should I wear? Can you take out the trash? Eat spaghetti with me, Wait for me so we can watch Luke Cage together, Let’s take our picture together… [Reaches into pocket and pulls out picture] Clifford I feel like I really screwed this one up big time. It’s all too funny I guess you never really know what you have until it’s gone. Y’know Charley, she always pointed out on this you know my house is close because of the giant neon sign that says “Psychic” we went in there once I remember she called out the woman because she said she couldn’t do a kickflip on a snowboard in the middle of summer. Boy, where we all shocked when she showed us. Or that one time where she told me she invented concrete shoes and then slipped into the river we’re at the hospital for hours. Oh and that other time-

Oh we’re here already? Alright well um see you thanks for “this”[Car door opens and then leaves but immediately gets back in the car] . Hey, Carlos wanna go to a diner or something I like these little talks.


https://www.soundtrap.com/aalfaro.allah?

This is the day


Mama wants me to stand up for myself. Mama said that I need to stop crying every time someone gives me a mean look. Mama wants a strong boy, a winner. Mama made me go on that mat and look at the other boy my weight. I never win. Mama said it would make me stronger. She said it would make me not fear the bullies. She said that the second I saw another kid across the mat I would be fearless, and I would fight. She said it would make me the bully. Mama doesn’t want a scrawny boy. She wants a big strong boy, one that looks like you.


Every match I look up at the stands, I see Mama’s face. She’s happy when I’m standing. I look over when my head is on the mat, when the boy is pushing me down. That’s when mama’s mouth turns down and her eyes look away. That’s when mama looks sad. She tells me to look at you before I leave. She tells me to look at something strong and I will feel strong.


Look at you. You are strong, you win. Every match I set up between you and Blue, you win. I need to be like you. Emotionless, yet strong. Mama wants a you. I am not a you. You wouldn’t cry every time Coach says to be stronger. You wouldn’t cry every time your head is hit to the ground, but your head would never be hit to the ground. I can’t be the bully when all I get is bullied. Looking at a stronger guy across the mat is bullying. Coach is a bully. Coach tells me to stop being a weak little boy. He says that the boys that beat me aren’t weak and they don’t cry. He says I need to be like them, I need to stop crying because it won’t get me anywhere. Him and Mama are right. I’m weak and worthless. I never win, they have nothing to be proud of. They make me do this. They all make me cry. They all make me feel weak. Mama just called up to my room, we have to go. Mama I’ll be down in a minute. I just need to get my suit on. Where are my ear protectors. Okay I found them. You are strong. I can be strong. I will be strong. This is the day I won’t cry. I will be like Red, a mighty and strong fighter. The one who wins. Plastic, but a winner. Mama doesn’t see how much I want this, how I fight, but she will see today. This is the day Mama’s mouth won’t be turned down. This is the day she will be proud. Maybe Coach won’t yell at me if I win. Maybe he’ll talk to me like he talks to the other boys.


I stumble down the stairs out of excitement for the day I will win. The day I will look at the other wrestler across the mat, not out of fear, but out of ambition. Mama asks me why I’m smiling. I tell her it’s because this is the day that I will make her happy, the day that I will win for her and Coach. She replies with a chuckle as she turns around and opens the door. She says to me, “We can see what you have in ya.” Seems like mama doesn’t believe in me, but I will prove her wrong. I will prove them all wrong. The boys on the team won’t recognize this new winner. Coach will be surprised. Best of all, Mama will be smiling as her little weak boy beats one of them to the ground.


Media Fluency

Tech- One Slide
The approach I decided to take was to find a common theme within all the elements of my Me Magazine. Because my magazine included things like death, isolation, bullying, and identity exploration I chose to pick the theme that whatever, or whoever, seems to be missing isn’t always the thing or person that “should” be there. I think this is very important. For this reason, I made sure it would be the first thing you saw on the slide. I went out of my way to choose very intense colors with a high contrast to really make the words pop. The palette choice makes a point to have a cool, as in temperature, feeling with a dark undertone to it. I also made the font bold and structurally sound so that it would not just catch the eye, but also be easy to read. This text box overall was very assertive but playful at the same time. You may have noticed that there was a 12px outline that was of very light value. I wanted this to help ease into the right portion of the slide, which is of medium value. This creates a smooth but also abrupt rhythm in the movement as far as the transition goes. At first I wanted there to be a lot of negative space, but research revealed it’s good to have big, full lettering, as well as different font sizes. I needed to make a decision about whether I wanted overly bold or overly mysterious. I wanted there to be some balance on the slide, but not have it symmetrical so that the quote would be more apparent. This brings me to the image I chose. I wanted an image that would make me seem vulnerable, but one that would also show seriousness. I think it leaves you wondering about the context, which could be nearly anything I wrote about in my magazine. The image itself is in black and white, not only to emphasize this itself, but also the period in time in which it was taken. You can’t tell, but I am a bit younger in this photo. It being in grayscale contrasts with the quote in the first half as well, drawing the eyes’ attention, but only after you see the quote. The blue puzzle piece that is sticking out of the side is a symbol of the theme, but also of a part of my identity that I am on the Autism Spectrum. In my personal opinion, it is partially the cause of why I demonstrated specific actions in the stories inside my Me Magazine. For this reason, it is an essential portion that I should point out. Lastly, I chose to put my name itself in the bottom right corner. The font in which it is in is relatively small, as well as the color not contrasting with the background behind it, but this was for a reason. This causes the observer to look at it last, which will leave it as the last thing they will hopefully remember about it. In this case, what good is it if the observer knows the gist of your piece but not who made it?

A Hidden Love


What are you doing?!?!? You can’t just let him walk out the door….Not after what you found out yesterday. I don’t want to hurt him but I can’t let him marry the wrong girl! I’d be a terrible friend for letting him ask her to marry him (extremely certain)RIGHT? (Increasingly uncertain)Right?!...right? God, why couldn’t it have been me? Why didn’t he CHOOSE me? Can’t he see that I’m madly  in love with him or maybe perhaps he doesn’t care. In all those years of our childhood a lifelong bond was created-one that would never be broken. It started out as a friendship that seemed stronger than any friendship there had been in history, we and everyone around us knew it. Usually friendships between a girl and guy tend to get a bit messy because one begins to fall for the other but not ours-at least...not at first. I don’t remember when it happened it just kinda did. I remember it was when we were in high school. My friends did the expected teasing. Ya know how it goes “Why don’t you guys date?” or “You two would make a cute couple”. I mean, all it would do at the time is make the situation awkward. But then, my heart and brain got to talking and nothing good ever comes from that. The feelings just sorta developed over time and day by day I just started seeing him in a different way.

Now we’re in our junior year of undergrad...and sure I’ve dated people here and there, (and so has he) but he’s always been at the back of my mind. But then he met her. I remember when he introduced to me. Said her name was Sofia. He was happy. It was all over his face. They’ve been together for about two and a half years all of them seemingly blissful and now...he wants to marry her. I had no reason to dislike her other than the fact that she was dating the guy of my dreams. But she made him happy and that’s all I wanted for him (even if the only thing I wanted more was for to be the one to do that  and I guess I do but not in the way I want to).

However, yesterday all of that changed and I saw her for the conniving little snake she really was.  I walked in on her and one of his friends making out half naked in his bedroom(I was there to pick up some papers he needed for a class and I wasn’t busy so I graciously agreed to do it for him). After I stood in the doorway  with a look of astonishment on my  face for a good five minute, she proceeded to explain to me that she never really loved him in the first place and she was only marrying him for the millions he was worth(I also forgot to mention that he comes from an extremely wealthy family). I didn’t have words, just tears of anger, so I simply left. I knew she was too good to be true. But the problem was then, now that I know do I tell him? And to some it might seem like a no brainer but he’s put blood sweat and tears into that relationship and getting that news would crush him and he had a presentation that day and I didn’t want to screw with his head, but...seeing his face when I gave him those papers-looking into his kind eyes that seemed to stare into the depths of my soul-that might’ve been the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do. But now-now he’s gonna ask her to marry him..I can’t let him do that, at least not without telling him the truth. Then I can admit my undying love for him and he’ll see that I’ve always been her waiting. Yes! I’m gonna do it, finally! But wait what if he doesn’t feel the same way...well then at least he won’t be with that gold digger and that’s all I care about right now...Okay here it goes….

“Wait!”

https://www.soundtrap.com/woneal? 

First day of school

Mom, I’m home!


How was my day? 


I woke up and thought today was the best day of my life because today is the first day of tenth  is the first day I study  my sister’s school  mov to my sister’s high school, the school that i study before is TRASH, cannot teach me anythings, the students are naughty, the lunch that the school give us are disgusting. It was a nightmare to study  my old school. ow, I am very excited  the first day of school, I can meet new friends. “Good morning, mum” I said, at that moments I still sleepy but my body make me wake up and move to the living room to eat my breakfast, “Oh, good morning, Zoro, what make you so late to wake up, Zoua is already eating her breakfast.” you replies, you always smile to me when you talk, make the morning much more better, even I have some bad things happen before, you always bring the smile to me, your smile make me relax and safe. After I finish my breakfast, I go to school with my sister. Is there has a food store? What does the lunch taste like? … In my head all the question are popping out from my brain about the things in the new school, at that moment i really cannot sit down because of my excited. We arrive at school at 7:16 am, the school starts at 8:15. So we have about one hour to do anythings we want I ask my sister to show me around the school, she nods. She explains every detail where we have walked in the school, she even showed me where my class and my locker are. Then her best friend Saly and Mercy came toward to us and say hello to me and Zoua, my sister always talk about their stories and things when she has free time with me, “Hey Zoua, I want to walk somewhere else, if you have somethings want me, call me.” I said “I will” she reply. on the way to my locker to put some stuff in it.  bullies  bullying a boy I thought Zoua’s school do not have bullies, I  just stand  not help the student who get bullied I  toward them and said “what are you doing here?” I said, “none of your business,” they push me  the floor like I am blocking the way, then a teacher come by. he teacher saw the bullies push me on the floor  call the bullies . “Thank, “ the student who just got bully said, “I am Kama, 10th grade,” “Nice to meet you Kama, I am Zoro, I am new here and I am 10th grade too,” That’s how I meet my first friend, Kama in the first day at school. Then the bell ring, which mean class is ready to start, “Hey Zoro, I think you are in my class, do you want to come with me?” “Sure,” He said


So that’s the first day of my new school, kinda fun, At least the lunch in the new school is yummy.