College English · Pahomov/Rhymer · B Band Public Feed
Reconstruction of Memory - Vivian Pham
Anna will never be able to erase this memory, kicking it aside like it doesn’t bother her is her best solution. She lives her everyday life being happy over walking throughout the streets, that makes her skin crawl and her head drop to look down at the floor. She says hi to strangers pretending like she isn’t terrified of anything happening to her. She wants to be better, she actually does want to be genuinely happy, she doesn’t understand why she can’t but she always hears in her head, “I forbid.”
She was 17 years old, she felt like she was going down the right path,
“I love you.”
“I love you too. I hope you go wherever I go” He said.
She was head over heels, she felt the happiest with him, they would spend the last 2 years of high school just being within each other’s comfort. Her family never supported her when it came to him, they didn’t trust him and believed that he was going to be a bad influence. Anna was enraged, she would come home every night and lock herself in her room, not feeling happy or safe under her family’s roof. She could never forget this conversation, little did she knew, it was going to be the conversation that changed her life forever.
“Hey Ann.” Her dad walks into her room.
“Hi.” Ann said, looking down at her phone.
“We need to talk about your friend.” He says.
“My boyfriend? The person I love?” Ann says, putting down her phone.
“Your friend. I forbid you from seeing him.”
Anna gets up. “You will not forbid me from doing anything.” In a matter of a few minutes, Anna had her important items packed and she was out the door to be with her supposed love of her life. She never looked back and never cried.
Five years have passed since that day, that one day, now she shuts down, she sits in a small apartment, the walls are stained yellow, she sits lonely on a short bed. She looks around and does not feel happy, her belongings don’t feel like home, nothing she has feels like home. She finally understands why she’s not happy, she tries so hard to cover up and hide the most life defining moment and denies all of her emotions.
“Forbid”
The one word that drove Anna over the edge, the stuffing of her suitcase in rage and force. Her footsteps heavy as she leaves her room forever, remembering how many nights she spent angry, despising everything her family stood for. She moved on and believed this was her only way to be happy, little did she know, her being afraid of her own thoughts costed her a life that was not full of regret.
Author’s note:
In this reconstruction of memory, this was a story that highlights a memory that I have experienced and feel like a lot of teenagers have felt during one point in their lives. It’s hard to identify and stay in tune with the emotions, when anger takes over one person. This story is about a girl who regrets something she has done, but one wrong move and she goes wrong. To convey this memory effectively I wanted to reveal the character’s emotions to the memory using Kesey’s technique on being super descriptive and using descriptive language to tie the character’s emotions with the scene of memory. As well as revealing the character’s relationship to this memory and its significance using Atwood’s technique by repeating a certain moment or word that’ll point to its significance.
An image represents Anna in a spherical ball with holes it in, the air is leaking out of the ball and she is holding her breath, to symbolize that reality is hitting her, this memory is still stuck in her head, it’s not her choice to forget, this memory is not allowing for her to forget. She tries to build up this strong force around her and the image shows pieces of tape just attempting to patch up the holes and the damage.
Scene of Memory - Andrew Rodebaugh
Crawling around in my room. A monster... I guess you could call it that. It’s a quiet creature. It’s large but yet hard to see. And makes a statement without making much noise.
I guess that’s why I was the only one who noticed it. The fear it caused me was not the fear that makes you scream or fear for something or someone. But just the fear that shuts you down and makes you cry. That’s all I could think of doing.
I told my parents and they were upset. Not at it but at me for being silly.
My father yelled at me “Excuses and lies. Ever since you got that C. But out of all your lies this one takes the cake.”
“There's a lot going-” I was interrupted.
“Bull crap. Absolute bull crap.”
I look over and creeping around was it again. Knocking around objects and making a ruckus. No one noticed but I was scared. I remember running to my room and slamming it. Of course, my parents thought it was because of them but I was hiding from my fears. The door gave me protection from it. Whenever it came I went to my room to hide from my fears. Until I was banned from my room causing it to follow me around my everyday life. I had no safe space in my room to wait till it left.
People started to notice that I was not the same. The ruckus caused by it was blamed on me and caused me to slip. Doing worse and I had no support.
I wanted to get rid of it. Get it out of my life once and for all. There were solutions to getting rid of it but I was blocked access from them. They didn’t see the reason why I needed them because the problems caused by it was me.
Now because of that time I am stuck where I am now. It grew bigger and started to hurt me. There is no way I can stop it now. Because of me.
Authors Note:
This piece is something I put a lot of time thinking about how to convey my memories of the lack of support and the pain caused by my “monsters.” It is a depiction of my depression and anxiety that has followed me around. My first draft was a conversation between a therapist and the main character but, it was suggested that I make it more of a monologue. The image is one I found online that I think represented the "controlling nature" of depression.
KGK Memory Reconstruction
Turmoil in Orlando
Reconstruction of Memory
No I don’t believe it. What would Ramone be doing in front of my job in Orlando? Oh shoot, he looked at me. What do I do? Smile? Wave? Stupid. What if he doesn’t remember you? Or worse, what is he does?
“What the heck, Bash?” Ramone was yelling at me even though I was the one who just got hit with a football. I was distracted. What was I looking at? “Get your head in the game, the chip is this weekend. Prom can wait.”
That’s it. I was looking at the prom banner going up. I didn’t have a date yet and it was weighing me down. “Man shut up, ain't nobody worried about some dumb prom. Go long.”
“Sure. See the one in the pink shorts? That’s all me.”
“They’re all in pink shorts.” See, Jada, his new fling was on the cheerleading team. Fling is a nice way of putting it. He didn’t see her the way I did, couldn’t treat her the way I did. She and I never put a label on it so it wasn’t cheating, really, it was an agreement we made. Harmless. How were we to know it could cost Ramone everything? “I said go long,” I shooed him away and blew Jada a kiss. He wasn’t supposed to see.
“Man, what the f--” That was the last thing he said before getting by a truck. He didn’t make it to the championship game. Or to prom. Last time I checked, he was still Philly. I ghosted Jada at prom, graduated and never looked back. How do I bring myself to speak to him now? My best friend who I placed in a wheelchair. I visited him once in the hospital, didn’t even go into his room. I couldn’t see him like that. I turned to leave but I guess he could feel the deceit in the air. He yelled after me, “Bash? Bash. SEBASTIAN!”
“What man? What do you want from me? “
“Chill man. It’s me Ramone. Don’t you recognize me?”
“Oh hey.” Of course, How could I ever forget?
Reconstruction of Memory
“When I lose something, I always try to think back to the last time I saw it. When I go back to that place, I usually find what I lost.”
The last time I saw my father…
It was clear from the start that this advice wouldn’t be very helpful. The most recent memory Julia had of her father was years ago - only a few days before he went missing. This memory had returned to her only just last night - the first of her personal memories. Perhaps the others would return to her when something happened in the present to trigger it. There was only one way to find out.
She thought back to the day when she was young… five or six. She had walked into her father’s… study? Yeah, study, he was a scholar. Is a scholar. Why? She had a nightmare, and was in need of his company. Did she go to her mother first? No, she had no memories of her mother. She never knew her. He held her in his arms with a loving embrace for a long time. She remembered snuggling closer to his chest, feeling the soft fabric of his sweater on her cheek, hearing the beat of his heart, and feeling a wave of comfort wash over her.
Julia started to cry. As she stood there in the field, her own father was being held prisoner somewhere on this land. A prisoner of beings that would not hesitate to kill him if it would benefit them in some way. She had no clue where they were keeping him, or if he was still alive. But even if she would never see him again, at least she had something to remember him by.
Julia’s mind came back to the present. She wiped the tears from her eyes, and she and her companions moved on, even more, determined to find the one who could just be her only surviving parent. She had to save him. He had to see him again. And she will risk it all to do so. Even her own life.
Thank you for taking the time to read my piece. This is actually supposed to be a small part of a larger story, so that’s why it doesn’t feel quite complete or why some details aren’t quite as explained. If you are interested in learning more about the story, feel free to come talk to me. For my audio companion, I decide to use the song Hymn for the Missing by Red. Since the main character has a missing person in her life, it was kind of fitting. I can imagine one of them singing the song to the other.
Shamus Keough Reconstruction of Memory
I remember when the doctor told me I wasn’t going to live. I was an overweight man living in Detroit, living in an average house with my wife and child. While I was overweight, I still tried to get to the gym on weekends, and when ever I had freetime. I wasn’t the best with working out, but I always made sure I ran a few miles on the treadmill. I thought it would be interesting to try out running and see if I could lose some weight as well. The next summer after I started training I had already set up the idea to run a half marathon by some point in my life.
By the second month of training, I was starting to be really proud of myself. I had been doing some long runs, and at that point my farthest run had been nine miles. I was happy, and so was my wife, everything was going great. Until the doctor visit the next week.
I had gone to the doctor after work one day because I felt a little bit like I was starting to get the flu. I got to the doctor’s office and described how I was feeling to the doctor. The doctor said “Well… it might be a cold, but I just want to check if it could be something else. Would you mind taking an mri really quick?” I said sure, and got into the machine. The mri ended a few minutes later, and the doctor came into the room with a sad look on his face.
“I’m so sorry… it’s what I thought it might be. You have blood cancer.”
I later found out that I had only a few more months to live. I didn’t know how exactly to react, all I knew was that I was going to finish that half marathon I promised to my wife. I kept on practicing, every weekend, and any other free time I had. I had been practicing so much, I knew I was going to do his best, and even if I had to, make it the last thing I did in my life.Author’s Note
The plot of the story is partially based off of my first experience running a half marathon. My first time running a half marathon was pretty difficult, so I tried to have my main character also have a hard time training at first. I had Terry start out training and have some trouble at first, which I can admit I also had some trouble when I first started running. After Terry starts running, I added him being diagnosed with cancer because I wanted to make Terry have some extra struggle with his training. I had the idea of him being diagnosed with cancer because I also had cancer when I was younger.
ENG4-003
- Term
- 2018-19: 1st Semester