Advanced Essay: Bear

Introduction: My goal for writing this essay was to highlight the idea of fear and really simplify what it is that we are truly scared of underneath our imagination of ghosts and monsters. Before writing this, I never really understood what my fears came from but after so much analyzation and speculation regarding my experiences with the bears, I realized that it was really all about control. I think that one way I could’ve improved my writing process was if I had an essay plan that I could follow. If I was able to go back, I feel like this would’ve really made writing my essay a lot simpler.

Like many children, I feared many things as a kid. Ghosts, the dark, monsters, and sharks. Although, logically, these things could never hurt me, my imagination was bigger than common knowledge. Therefore, I spent most of my childhood sleeping with a night light on and avoiding the depths of the ocean. But every once in a while, kids are taught to face their fears. Sometimes a big revelation comes from it and sometimes these encounters will just allow us to paint our imaginations to be even darker than before. “Look at that!” my father quietly whispers in concentration as he stares out of our porch window. I rub my eyes trying to wake myself from my sleep as it had only been the early hours of the morning. I begin to walk up to the window, curious to see what my father had been fixated on. I stop in my tracks as soon as I realize what is waiting on my porch. It’s a bear! My eyes widen at the sight. There it stands, so large and intimidating, about 6 feet tall, brown and course furr, with black eyes that seem to welcome frightening thoughts that pass through my head. It slowly ambles through the deck on it’s colossal paws that flaunts it large, shiny claws. His head keeps low as he is unaware of his audience. I look up at my dad, helpless and vulnerable, desperate for security. As years built on my life, so did my fears. Seeing that bear, reminded me of just how random and unexpected, the experiences in life can be. Thinking back on just how close I was to the beast, made me think; “Am I in control of my safety or am I simply relying on fate?”. A few years later, I encountered yet another situation that made me feel even more curious of this answer. I sit in the back seat of my father’s old and run down toyota alongside my older sister and brother. We had been on a long car ride that had seemed to drone on for hours. It was fall. The leaves that were once green and in their prime of summer were now dull and brittle due to the inevitable transitioning of seasons. The subtle twists and turns of the endless Pocono roads seem to put me in a deep trance as I look through the depth of the forest that surrounds the black pavement we travel on. As I watch, I examine the many customs that it had to offer. The beautiful trees, the colorful leaves scattered on the muddy floor of the vegetation, marked by the coming of fall, and all the life the forest had to offer. I look deeper and deeper in, slowly becoming consumed in it’s quiet tranquility. My daze is broken when I see something big and dark out in the distance. It ushers slowly by the trees, head low and oblivious of its surroundings. It’s another bear! My stomach drops of fear and my heart beats fast. A hundred thoughts run through my head, all having the same dark ending: me ending up in the grasp of his big, shiny claws. I shudder at the thought but shake it off, knowing deep down that I was protected by the metal exterior of my father’s car. As I look back on both of my encounters with the bears, I begin to realize that they are both situations in which I encountered the core value of fear. In both situations, I found myself vulnerable and lost; unable to recognize reality from ridiculous thoughts I had conjured up by fear. Seeing these bears, brought forth panic. A feeling that for some reason, I couldn’t shake. No matter where I was or how safe I felt deep down, the thoughts in my head were so loud that I couldn’t focus on logic. I could only listen to my mind telling me that I will end up being a victim of the bear, that no matter how in control of the situation I was, I would somehow lose all restraint and find myself in a position of danger. Looking back on these experiences remind me of when I’m sitting on top of a ledge of a building and I suddenly think to myself: What if I lost all control of my body and jumped?. Fear is essentially the idea that we will one day lose control of our own selves and our actions. It doesn’t matter who the victim is or how their mind works. No matter how stable you think you are, you will never know just how vulnerable you are until you encounter what scares you the most. That one thought that gives you chills as you stand alone in the dark, unable to find that sense of control you once had. Your head gets foggy and your heart beats uncontrollably. And once you are brought to safety and the chills on your back had finally settled, you begin to think to yourself: was it the presence of the imaginary monster that scared me or was it the loss of control?