Advanced Essay #1 Falling Down
In my journal this year, I wrote that I sometimes struggle to get a story going. However, I overcame this by simply venting non-stop, and continuing to write even if I was not sure how it would relate to the theme of my essay. This allowed me to choose from a lot of content and organize it, which is one of the strong qualities I have and wrote about in my journal. Furthermore, to strengthen my essay I used some descriptive writing, which I am usually hesitant to do because I don’t feel that I sound deep. I am proud of the simile I created, using the elevator to describe how I felt. I want to be able to write more like this in the future, as well as other lines that were significant in my analysis. The most critical area for improvement I see when I read through is my scene that starts of the essay. I want to become a better story teller, so that the story is not only useful for my analysis but so it can hook the reader and they will understand even better.
I popped the cap off the side of the gun and twisted the knob on the faucet. Once the gun was filled, we ran out to the patio where a thick burst of heat hit our faces. We stepped outside and took our shoes off. The tile was warm on our feet so we squirted them with my water gun. It was the middle of the summer and we were living our eleven year old summer carefree. We walked to the edge of the patio. It was around a twenty foot drop to the bricks below, and the same distance between us and the side window of a bank.
“I bet you won’t shoot the window with your gun” I said.
“Are you sure?” said Phil. He angled the gun up and yanked the trigger down. GUSH! The water soared through the air and smacked the window. THUD! We ducked below the edge of the patio.
“Holy Shiitake” I said. “You are a maniac. If they catch us who knows what will happen.”
“I didn’t think the gun could reach. I’m Sorry.”
At the time, spraying a water gun at a window seemed so scary and out of line. I still don’t think it is a good idea, but it is interesting to see how my opinions on what is acceptable and what is not has changed. Today I feel more willing to venture into danger than when I was younger, and things seemed so crazy and scary they were unimaginable. Is it because I was brainwashed by my parents as a child and did not form my own opinions on what is bad or not until later? Maybe after going through enough dangerous things, the world has made me more numb to a lot today, and it seems normal.
I still feel I have a grip on right and wrong, but it seems to be changing as well. It is as if the bar is firmly in my hand, but I am in an up elevator so it rises regardless. I find myself going to boundries I did not even know were pushed yet. When I look back to the old me, I clearly remember not believing my future would hold what it does now. Am I falling into a trap of bad behavior, and my mind is too convoluted with changing ideas to see the immorality in my actions? I can justify most of it now, but before I could prove why it was wrong. An old history teacher once told my class a quote that I always knew was accurate, but I can now see in full effect.
Mr John said, “Boring people are the most dangerous people.” I see this conclusively in my life from the people around me and sometimes even myself. I am still a person with strong values. I want to be as positive as possible so I can spread happiness around me. However we all commit bad deeds, and sometimes it is because we have to, but other times it is because we are just looking for a thrill, and think what we are doing is cool. I try not to let this mindset control me and block out all negative peer pressure. When I want to I definitely can, but it is not always easy to remember in the moment that what you are doing is losing your innocence.