Advanced Essay #1: Kaitlyn Petroski
Introduction:
My main goal for this paper was to describe the confusion of a relationship with a parent that is separated from the family. My main tactic for achieving this was showing two scenes that completely contrasted with each other. In the end, I definitely could have improved on my reflection. This was the most difficult part of the essay to write, simply because I struggled a lot with how to write out my thoughts without rambling. I am, however, very proud of my scenes.
Advanced Essay:
My mom is a single mother who raised me and my half brother almost entirely by herself. Since I was 2 years old, we have a system where I only see my dad once a week, on Saturdays. My dad missed a lot when I was growing up, so to me, it seems like he doesn’t really know me at all.
On one average Saturday, I woke up, got ready for the day, then texted my dad to ask if he was picking me up. My mom reminded me to ask about a program at UArts. The tuition is $300, with a scholarship, and we wanted him to help pay.
A few hours later, my dad knocked on the door and we left. After chatting for awhile and catching up on the things that happened that week, I suddenly remembered the program.
I explained the whole thing and eagerly asked, “ So, can you help pay for it? You would only need to chip in a bit and pay like half, probably less.
“I don’t have any money.” he replied bluntly.
“Dad, I’m serious.”
“I am, too! Ask your Aunt Sharon, she’s made of money,” this is a tactic he’s been using since I was a little kid. Whenever he wanted to get out of buying me something he would say that.
Irritated, I said, “Okay, but she’s not my dad,” with finality, turned the radio volume up, and opened a book. It felt as though I shut a heavy door between us, even though he was sitting right next to me.
The ride felt like it would never end, but an hour later, it was over. I didn’t say a word, not even singing along to the radio like I normally would.
It may seem like I was overreacting, but my dad has been trying to get out of providing for me for my entire life. When my parents first split up, it was because of an argument over money; instead of buying groceries, my dad bought a car.
Situations like this aren’t uncommon between me and my dad, which is something I’ve noticed between other kids who have separated parents as well. The relationship with one of the parents is always weird, it feels like it should be one way, but it’s actually the other way. I’m always told to respect my elders, which includes my dad. In my case, I find it difficult to respect someone who doesn’t take me seriously to the point where we can barely have conversations, but I still look up to him and have fun when he picks me up for the day.
The first time I went on a roller coaster was with my dad, and it is one of my favorite experiences ever. Sounds of summer filled the air, and I wasn’t paying attention to any of it.
I turned to my dad, “I have to use the bathroom,” and started to walk down the steps.
He grabbed my shoulder, turning me around, “No, you don’t, you’re just scared.”
I huffed, crossed my arms, and stood there. By this point the last ride was over and the line was moving again. When we got to the top, we chose a seat. After the safety bar lowered, the ride lurched forward and began it’s trek up the first hill.
We got to the top and I looked out over the whole amusement park. We were so high up, it felt like we were observers of the world, rather than a part of it.
The split second when I forgot that I was 110 feet off the ground disappeared almost immediately. When the ride started barrelling down the hill, I gripped my seat until my knuckles turned white, while my hair was whipped around my face.
A grin spread across my face and I turned to my dad. As soon as he looked back his signature chili pepper bandana flew off his bald head.
The ride threw us around, went up and down hills, and through loops. Everybody around was screaming in excitement, but I was just laughing.
The ride stopped and we got off,
“I guess your head is gonna get a tan, too, now,”
He laughed and touched his head, he started to speak when two people ran up to us. One was holding chili pepper bandana.
These two experiences are drastically different, but both display the interactions and the complexities within them. It’s like a rollercoaster in the way that one week can be completely carefree and fun and the next week is extremely tense and difficult to understand.
Whether your parents are together or not, there are always going to be good moments and there are always going to be bad moments. When it comes to separated parents, however, the bad moments are amplified. The negative interactions are much more intense, more is at stake when it happens in a separated family. The system of relationships within the family is so bent up, shaky, and twisted to begin with that when something goes even slightly wrong it seems like everything will go crashing down.
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