Advanced Essay #1: When to Step Away

Introduction:

My goals for this essay, honestly, were to just be honest and tell a story that meant a lot to me. Any other way I try to explain it, I fear that it’s seen as me complaining, so I tried to make it so it would be more down to earth instead. I don’t expect anyone to sympathize with it, but it’s still the story I wanted to share. I’m proud of how I took the time to figure out what I did and didn’t want to include, since I could’ve kept the topic the same but mentioned a different scene of memory. One way I’d want to improve my writing is by getting all my ideas down first and then going from there instead of trying to figure it out before I write. 

Essay:

My backpack made a sound louder than I had expected as I threw it off my shoulder and onto the floor of my room. I took two steps from my bedroom door and sat on the bed to unlace and take off my shoes. I didn’t think much of the sound my bag made until my mom stormed down the hall and pushed my wooden door open. “What was that?” she asked. I turned to face her and replied, “It was just my bag.” She shook her head and closed my door as she started to make her way down the hall. “Too many books in that bag,” I heard her say. I didn’t reply and continued to settle in after coming home from a long day of school. English, Rosetta, history, math, art. All this homework, I thought. So much to finish.

I laid back and sank into my bed. I reached across the grey bedspread over to the small, white nightstand to the right of my bed and grabbed my airpods. I put them in, listened for the sound to signal they’ve connected, and put all of my music on shuffle. The first song that played? “Buried Alive Interlude”. One of my favorite songs from Drake’s album Take Care. The long windows covered with white blinds were slowly getting darker as the sun went lower in the sky. I grabbed my phone off the bed next to me and put the whole album on shuffle. After placing my phone down again, I closed my eyes, and waited for the next song to play.

I care about a lot of things; My grades and homework are some examples of that. I remember being younger and wanting nothing to do with school. Everything required excessive amounts of thinking, and having to take part in that for eight straight months was unappealing. The stress, arguments, and having things not be as fun as they used to be follow me around every school year. Once mid-spring came around, things started looking up again, and it turned into a cycle. The only reason I wanted to go was for my friends, since they were the only good things about school. It took me years to understand that it would happen regardless of how easy or hard the work was. It was just up to me to decide to either fight against it and complain all the time, or do something about it to help get to the end of the year.

The situations that bring you down, like stress and overwhelming events, are the ones that you can’t change. They’ll stay how they are: negative, bleak, and eventually, powerless. It took me about five months to learn that specifically, and after that I could enjoy what I had, like my freedom, my music, and the weather. Over the past three months, especially, I grew. I learned who was and wasn’t there for me (sometimes through the hard way), what I wanted in life and what I didn’t, and what I liked and disliked for so many things. But mainly, what to focus on and what to leave behind. I was sad to see some go and happy to welcome in others. I had to remember it’s not really about them, it’s about what’s best for me.

I found that it’s important to step away and escape with what makes you happy. The feeling of stress from the loads of homework easily washes away when both headphones are in and I turn the volume up a little higher. You can forget the pressure of junior year in high school when you hang out with those you love most and only yards away from the beach. You’re not always going to be near a beach, but over the summer that was the outlet I used to help keep myself relaxed. I know that my situation won’t always be the same and things definitely will get rough. But as long as I keep what’s best for me in mind, I know I’ll be fine.