A journey that everyone goes through is figuring out who they are or in other words figuring out their identity. Identity is made up of many different things like experiences , people around you, and social medias. Identity is a combination of many things. And it’s not just made up in one day. There is inputs by different people about who you should be and what you are meant to be , but the most important thing is being your true self.
As stated by Bonnie Tsui in the article “Choose Your Own Identity” I hate to admit it, what they choose to be won’t necessarily have to do with me. Because my sons are going to be the ones who say who — not what — they are.” The idea Tsui brings to the attention of people is that the identity of other people is not something that you can decide , even if that person is someone that you really care about. In many different families people disguise them creating someone else's identity as wanting the best for them. Wanting the best for someone you care about is a normal thing, but what is not normal is creating an identity for them is something that is detrimental in the long run. Figuring out who your own identity is a form of being your best self and staying true to who you are and not who people want you to be. Family can have an huge influence on what you want to be put it should never be what your family wants you to be over what you want to be.
As you get older you feel more obliged to figuring out your identity. A major process that you figuring out parts of your identity is the college process. Eleventh grade is where things really start the process. A distinctive memory I have is going to my first college fair. The college fair was after school so I made my friends get tickets with me. As we get to the fair before we walk in we see a lot of kids. Instantly stunned because I didn’t imagine all these kids my age wanting to go to college. Moving through the crowd trying to stay connected to my friends who are somehow more concerned about who is at the college fair and not the actual colleges that are there. The lines To talk to the colleges were so long, but we figured it we just wait the line would go faster. Being in line all I hear are other students being excited about getting on cite acceptances. I never did anything like this without my mom, so I wasn't sure how things like this work. When it was my turn at the Hampton table the first thing the representative asks is if you know what you want to major in. My usual answer when my family ask me is “something with math” , but I knew I had to be more specific. When the man asked what I wanted to major in the first thing that shot out my mouth was business and financing. I always think about what I actually want to major in but there is so many options I get really overwhelmed. So many different options make me feel like it very easy to choose the wrong one. Never in my life have I been pressured to decide what I wanted to be and now that it was happening so quickly it feels as though my timer is running out.
Like stated, identity is not something that could be made up overnight. In a big world where you can be anything and anyone it’s overwhelming. As said by Hush Puppy, the main character of “The Beast of the Southern Wild”, “When you're a small piece of a big puzzle, you gotta fix what you can.” The world is a big place and finding where you belong is a huge journey. The journey of finding where you belong can be very long because there are so many different places you may think you should belong but actually don't. Belonging is when you can be your true and honest self, while feeling comfortable. Though you may think that you belong in one place your true ambitions may tell you that you belong somewhere else. Your identity and belonging go hand and hand. Your identity directs you to where you belong. You decide where you belong by finding things that you most relate to or categorize yourself under because it makes you feel like you have a place. Having a place to belong is what people yearn for. Even if that means belonging to a certain social class, college, or culture. In a sense having so many different things that you belong to or identify to keeps things in order. People are afraid of being lost and not knowing things. For instance when someone gets lost there is a quick panic because they don't know where they are going and don't know how they will find their next destination. Luckily when someone gets lost on the road they have the gps to help them find the way, but there is no life gps that can tell you how to get to your next life destination. Early on in life the responsibility of figuring out what you want to do as a career, or what you identify as is placed so that when you get older you have a sense of where you are going.
The bigger idea to this is that no matter what you choose to identify as or belong to it should be the most honest things about you. Pretending to be something you are not just for the satisfaction of your loved one will make you a miserable person inside. Life is about living your best life to the fullest extent and the people who lo9ve you should love you for who you are and not for what they want you to be. People can not live your life for you so they should not dictate whom you have to be. A big issue that people struggle with is impressing the people around them to seem as though they have everything under control but the hard truth of everything is at one point of time nobody has everything figured out and there is no rush on your story because it only belongs to you. You and only you should be the main character of your story and everyone else should be supporting characters.