Advanced Essay #2- Confidence in Your Language

Writing this essay was a challenge for me as a writer because I have so much to say about this topic so it’s difficult to compress all my thoughts together. My goal for this essay is to show how important our native tongue is and how language brings us all together. Most people do not realize how critical it is to keep the language that you are born to speak with even though you may be struggling with another language at first when moving to a different country. I am proud of the scenes that I incorporated in this essay because that’s how everything started for me here in America. As a writer, I want to improve my use of imagery and my use of dialogues.

When people knew about the language that I speak their smiles would widen from fascination. Even though people do not recognize my language, mentioning the two Filipino languages that I speak thrilled me. The main language is “Tagalog” while my native tongue is “Hiligaynon”. I learned “Hiligaynon” at home while Tagalog and English at school. However, my confidence in my native language in the U.S. back then did not exist.

On my first day of seventh grade as a new student, mixed emotions filled myself as I entered the corridors of the school. The numbing winter wind passed through the windows down the hall causing me to tremble more from being frightened and cold. Then, a student brought me down to the rustic basement for my first class, Art. I stepped in the room as my nerves trembled. The teacher’s face lit up as she came towards me and introduced herself.

Out of curiosity, she asked, “Where did you come from?”

“I came from the Philippines.” I replied. Everyone gave me their attention as I stood in front of the class. I had a rush of excitement but, the uncomfortable feeling settled.

“Wow, you don’t have an accent at all!” my teacher delivered while my classmates gave their utmost attention to me. The heat crawled on my face while my ears felt as though it was red-hot.

I thought to myself, ”How do I respond to that?” I lost my words so, I gave my teacher a humble laugh while the sound of the heater and shuffling of papers filled the silence in the room. My look of embarrassment gave away to everyone how I felt. An uneasy feeling about my classmates knowing that I could speak another language sunk in. Since English dominates most languages, it put my language aside which gave me a feeling of being inadequate with the language that I speak. If you learn how to accept and use your native language, you will value your culture and heritage. One day, two of my classmates turned around from their seats to ask me if I can speak my language.

“How do you say hello in your language?” One of them asked out of the blue.

“Uhmm it’s just hello…” I responded as I raised my shoulders.

“How about good morning?” Excitement on their faces showed.

My face was covered with humiliation because I knew that “good morning” isn’t the same in my language. I hesitated whether I should say it or not. But, I rejected it.  

“No, I don’t want to!” I exclaimed. They bugged me and pleaded if I could even say one word in my language. As they continued, I ignored them until they would stop which they did. Even though my language fascinated people, I felt ashamed of it. No matter how much I wanted to announce that I can speak another language I only kept it to myself at school as I tried my best to pronounce words and speak in English correctly. Until one day, I pronounced a word in literacy class wrong. We were reading a story in our literacy books as we gathered in a full circle as a class. My heart beats faster and my hands were turning cold like ice as I was waiting for my turn to read. The words filled the room while the silence gave me palpitations. Everyone listened carefully as I barely payed attention because my mind was somewhere else. I was also eager to finish my part. When my part came I read, “I have plenty of time to beat that tawr-toys(tortoise)...” My classmates bursted out in laughs and I wondered why until my teacher corrected me and said, “It’s tawr-tuh-s.” Then, I continued reading as I tried to ignore the fact that I just mispronounced the fancy word for a different kind of turtle and embarrassed myself in front of my classmates. But, after that I realized that it really didn’t matter because I learned something on that day.

Language is not only important because it helps us connect and communicate with people but, it teaches us life lessons and help us value different cultures. Throughout the years, I realized that I did not have a reason to be ashamed of my language. So, I learned how to accept it and I gained confidence in my language. Each of the languages that I speak helped me flourish in society especially in two different cultures because I can connect with people through the words that came out of my mouth. “Ethnic identity is twin skin to linguistic identity-I am my language. Until I can take pride in my language, I cannot take pride in myself.” This quote was from the essay How To Tame A Wild Tongue by Gloria Anzaldua. It is very critical to keep my native language because it brings me to my culture and it is a part of who I am. If we accept our language we learn to accept ourselves. My ability to speak different languages did not only teach me to understand my struggles in a language such as English but it helped me understand the situations of others as well. It  does not matter if you mess up your words or your pronunciation because it doesn’t change who you are as a person. It will only change the way you speak because you learn as you go while becoming a better speaker. Language brings us all together therefore, we should use it wisely while we can.