Advanced Essay #3: Society vs. Environment

Society is characterized as a person, a person who is a bully and a nurturer at the same time. Society constructs and deconstructs the person's feelings of identity and belonging. Society has the ability to mold a person’s identity and belonging through new environments, experiences, and interactions. These tools are also used to “deconstruct” a person’s identity and belonging. What I mean by this is that society can twist these environments, experiences, and interactions into something that makes the person feel unsafe and exposed. I grew up with parents who immigrated to this country and who went through many obstacles to succeed. I saw and have heard stories of how society had destroyed their feeling and sense of belonging. I have also seen society construct and build their identities. Immigrants tend to feel the effects of society’s judgement much more. Not being comfortable in the space you find yourself in, whether it’s not knowing the language, politics, or dynamics of the space you are in, aids in this feeling of aloneness and wanting to fit in.

My father was born and raised in Iran, he at the time had no idea that he would end up living the rest of his life in the United States, away from the rest of his family. Nor did he ever imagine the circumstances which lead him to leave his country. In the 1970’s Iran experienced a revolution, boys above the age 16 were drafted to war with no say. In hopes of saving their children, my father’s parents sent their sons to study elsewhere. My father studied in the United States and often traveled to Italy to visit his brothers who had relocated there. Although he had never seen my mother, he knew of her and they often talked. One day he invited her to the U.S., this was the first time they had ever seen each other. After many visits they got married and my mom made the permanent move to the United States.

I honestly do not know how she did it. She had no friends, knew no one except my father. She had learned english in school but being thrown into this world was not at all the way she expected it would be. It was a harsher place and very big, with no one to talk to who would truly understand what she was going through she felt society tear down her walls. Her sense of belonging was taken away from her. Life around her was completely different than what she had grown up to understand and assimilate to. In the Kite Runner Khaled Hosseini writes “You’ve always been a tourist here. You just didn’t know it.” She felt like an outsider, she spoke through a broken accent which identified her as an immigrant and acted with different mannerisms. Even though society decided to take her sense of belonging away, it aided in building her identity.

My dad had made many Iranian friends in college, which is not surprising because when a person immigrates to another country they tend to find others of their ethnicity. We see this in big cities, such as New York which has Chinatown and Little Italy. Here in Philadelphia we have clusters of one culture or ethnicity. Culture plays a huge role in the way that society affects a person's sense of belonging and identity. By surrounding himself with those of culture he was able to hang onto his country and his family. My mother had studied Farsi, the language people speak in Iran, in college and was fluent in the language. I often think that this saved her sense of belonging in this country. My dad’s friends had also married, however their wives were also from Iran. But because society had affected them in the same way as my mother, she was able to connect and finally find someone to go through this experience with.