Advanced Essay - Monolithic Masculinity

Monolithic Masculinity

For centuries, the interpretation of what it meant to be a man has been altered to fit the time period. Expectations of how they behave, speak, and interact with one another can be whittled down to a formula for what society depicts as the “ideal man.” We set the expectation that men are supposed to be emotionless and strong in all aspects, suppressing their true feelings for fear of scrutiny from their peers. Of course, this doesn’t apply to all young men. Some go against this fabricated normal, but what do can they do? It is through no fault of their own that they do not fit this mold. However, when we compare them there will always be the question, “who’s the better man?”

Young men who are living behind this facade are subject to seeking approval of their masculinity. They are being forced to be someone they are not or don’t want to be so that they can be accepted. We see this in schools and in our outside communities. This causes them to reject their true selves. For many succeeding in life is being able to express who you are and not conforming to the straight path that is given to you that was formed so that you are what society wants you to be. It’s beneficial to be true to yourself in spaces where a monolithic form of masculinity is only accepted because of the fact there are expectations of what a true man is.

During the early stages of adolescent development, we are not fully aware nor do we choose to acknowledge how much influence our surroundings play into our lives. We see them in cartoons, movies, literature, the list goes on. We always see the classic scenario of the damsel in distress and the big macho man saving her. This is a basic claim to an adult looking back on their childhood. It is something that they reflect on and says, “oh yeah…” But as children, we are living our best lives unaware of these outside influences. Leanord Sax, a practicing physician, writes in an article about Masculinity in America, “As a result, many boys today define masculinity negatively: Being a real man means doing things that girls don’t do.” From this, we see that young men as a result of having an idea of a what a man should be, limit themselves to one form of thinking that puts them in direct competition with not only themselves to try and prove that they are masculine enough. But as well as putting themselves in competition with the opposite gender unknowingly destroying the unique sense of self that some value because of its’ important relation to self-identity.  

For young men trying to find themselves during this time of confusion, how can we expect them simply put themselves out there but at the same time have them think that who they are isn’t accepted.  In the same article “Masculinity in America,” Leanord Sax continues to argue that young boys are, “....reveling in their supposed masculinity but disengaged from the real world.” Looking at it as a young man myself, I see this type of behavior on a daily basis. I remember when there was a time where I was one of those boys who was so worried about being a “man.” But then I realized I was never going to get anywhere if I kept thinking the same way. Looking at this from above, having an out of body reflective experience I saw that my actions, words, thoughts, and habits, were all heavily based on what my males peers deemed fun. Their jokes that were misogynistic and sexist to me seemed normal because that’s what normal guys talk about, right? It wasn’t until later that I realized that the people I surrounded myself than were not helping build my idea of what a real man was. Having the ability to have an honest conversation with myself about what a man was proved to be beneficial in the end. That is what some young men are missing. As they grow up, they have no idea how expansive the concept of a man, and with that comes confusion leading away from the path of acceptance.

These ideals leave our young men short-sighted and lost. We cannot say that these ideas will simply disappear, what we can do however is begin to accept those for who they are not who we want to be. As a society, we need to learn to accept the children for who they are, especially our young men. Dismantling gender roles is the first step, but bringing up the next generation to accept themselves and others is the only we can truly tell kids to be themselves. Masculinity isn’t a formulated thing. You can mold it, shape it however you like. But if we want to produce better men, we have to let children define masculinity for themselves.