Advanced Essay 2- The Difference In Our Words

My paper is about the ways in which we speak differently around certain people and why. I hope to shed light on how society has expectations for how we act in public and how we bend those unspoken recommendations around the people with whom we are closest. I am proud of how I believe I gave people an insight to who I am as well as what I believe is expected from me. I wish that I had included examples of how I deviate from societal norms with my friends in addition to just my family.

The Difference In Our Words

I change how I communicate when I interact with different groups of people. In particular, I speak differently. I change what I say, when I say it, and how I say it. This is true for most people, because we learn when it’s important to follow societal norms and when it’s acceptable to push those boundaries.

Cursing is something that most people do only in particular circumstances. While I am the same way, unlike many others I curse around my parents, who are mostly ok with it as long as I do it with a smile on my face so that they know I’m not serious or angry. Many other times, though, I know to hold my tongue and speak properly and with decorum.

Back in September, my Dad and I were at our friend’s house watching the Eagles game. As school had just begun, the group -- mostly made up of forty-something year-old Dads -- was discussing the pleasures of kids being back in school.

The host explained, “It’s nice to have them in bed at a reasonable hour. All summer, they were just banging around the house at all hours of the night.”

My Dad, sarcastically pretending that I wasn’t sitting right next to him, stated, “It’s amazing to have Leo back in school. I believe we had more than enough time to bond this summer.”

My response was already at the tip of my tongue. It would have been so natural, and so satisfying, to have released the words, “Fuck off.” It wouldn’t have been anywhere near the first time that I had said it, and I don’t believe that’s a bad thing. As Robert Klein explains, “I’m not against profanity. It’s an important part of the language when used properly.” Cursing is not just a way to express anger towards someone, but a way to strengthen a bond between people and to add humor. While I would have been comfortable saying these words to him with a smile if it were just the two of us, I restrained myself due to our present company. Some people might not have understood my sarcasm and would have taken it as me not respecting my Dad. Society creates expectations about how we are to act, and while we all strive to be our authentic selves, we also have to learn about the importance of operating inside society’s norms and therefore when and to what extent we should express ourselves in different ways sometimes.

Jokes are one of my favorite ways to express myself, but I have to be careful about what I say depending on to whom I’m talking. There is a fine line between what is funny and what is considered offensive. Many times it is hard to know where that line is, because it is different for each person based on how well we know each other.

For the last five years I have only rarely called my sister by her name Rebecca. Instead, I call her Tubby Bear Junior or some variation of it such as TBJ, Tubs, or Junior. Now while the Bear and Junior parts of her nickname are acceptable for all audiences, Tubby is a name that refers to someone who is overweight, which in a nickname would normally be thought of as derogatory. In this case, though, due to my closeness with my sister and our common understanding that not only is she not fat but in fact is fit and athletic, the nickname is just an ironic joke. It reflects how close we are to each other.

This is the type of joke that you can only make to someone with whom you are very close. I would never call any of my friends by a nickname that referred to them as overweight or anything related to body image, which can be such a sensitive topic. But with my sister it is ok because she is in on the joke and interprets it as the affectionate nickname that it is.

Just like many other people, I conform to society’s norms most of the time. The only times that I feel comfortable stepping outside what is considered typical is when I’m with people that I am very close with and who know my personality. It is not typical for a child to curse in front of his parents or to have a nickname for someone that contains derogatory language, but due to the bond I have with my family and also with my closest friends I am able to push society’s communication norms with that limited group of people. Pushing these norms not only allows me to express myself in the way I sometimes like to, but it also helps create and strengthen the bonds I have with these people.

“Robert Klein Quotes.” BrainyQuote, Xplore, www.brainyquote.com/quotes/robert_klein_678411.