Afraid To Tell Because No One Listens _Katherine Hunt

Sweat glistened off of my forehead and dripped onto my t-shirt as I ran home. Half of my shirt was now partially damp from this sweat, considering I had just run home from my job. Ugh, I just got laid off. I knew my mom wouldn’t be happy with me. (From here on the character is going on a mental rampage) Then again what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her right? Or should I remember that honesty is the best policy? It was neither. Either way I was trapped.

  Not telling her about work wouldn’t be the first time that I’ve hidden something from her. Last week I hid the fact that I had the money she wanted me to get, but I didn’t get it the way she expected me to. Standing on the corner was not apart of my ideal expectations for myself. I mean I had a job at McDonalds getting paid 5 dollars an hour. I had given her my 4 years earning for college, but that wasn’t enough. Working over time for her wasn’t getting the money in. It was giving my body up, sneaking over time without my mom knowing or selling drugs.

Money is the only thing that satisfied my mother. She expected me to sell drugs because she claims it brought the most money to the table. Out of everyone that I seen do it I just couldn’t sell drugs, although I knew someone who could, It was my uncle Tito. My mom still doesn’t know that my uncle has been back to his old ways, cigarettes, weed, guns, and cocaine. That was my uncle’s way of life, and he wasn’t planning to change it for anything.

I felt like I knew my uncle’s darkest secrets and one was what he did to me. The image of what he has done to me has been running through my head for a long time now. Ever since I felt his skin touch mine I was never the same. I remembered it like it was yesterday. 

 I felt his bare skin touch mine. I screamed out howls of despair as his cold flesh made my burning flesh become room temperature. I remember that moment like it was yesterday, I’m just aware that my mom wont believe it. She wouldn’t believe that her own brother decided to put his manhood into my delicate flower and take away my innocence. I was scared and I still am.

 My innocent anatomy wasn’t pure any longer and won’t ever be again. I know I need to stop doing all of these things and stop letting these things be done to my precious body. So, how could I please everyone and myself at the same time? It was a simple answer, I couldn’t. I wanted to come out clear but the dark shadows lurked behind me.

 I could imagine my uncle’s voice as he would slam my body down onto the bed and say to me “ Don’t complain, ain’t nobody gonna give you sex besides me anyway. No nigga wants ya, they never gonna.” This image burns in the back of my head, as my mind wanders in to the starry night.

 There was one thing that stopped me from living my daily life like a “normal” person. It took all my life to figure out what it is.  It is Fear (Character makes fear seem like a person*). Fear stopped me from telling my mom the truth and fighting off my uncle. Fear was beside me as I ran home to tell my mom I got laid off. That was until it caught up in front of me and blocked me from telling the truth. Fear keeps me awake every night and lurks behind my shadows. I am that little piece in my own mind, watching the world from a distance.