Ayoola Hooks-Gibbs
Introduction:
Paper:
“I can’t hear you!”
“Girl, you need to break out of that shell, not gone get you no where”
… I’ve been hearing this phrase. All. My. Life. If I could, I would go back in time and speak up! I’ve lost opportunities for really amazing things and finding out who I am because of not speaking up. People won’t stop and listen to a person that doesn’t ever speak up. They won’t even take the time and find out whom I am. I wanted to become a model ever since I started to watch “America’s Next Top Model.” The girls on that show are loud, outgoing, and free spirited. One day, I told my mom
“Mom, I want to become a model.”
“That’s great, but you’re too shy, I won’t be with you on that runway or talking on talk shows for you. You’ll have to speak up for your self.”
She would say that every time I had an idea for something I wanted to pursue or something that I have interest in. Her answer would be ‘You’re too shy’, every time.
I tried…I really tried to speak up more when in front of strangers. Excect, my throat tighten up, my hands get clammy and I would start to sweat. Would I ever be able to break out of my shell?
My grand mom, my mom and I drove down to North Carolina in June 2011, to visit our cousin who’s 93 that we’ve never met in person. We drive up to a small house that was falling apart. “OH NO,” I said in my head.
“Are we sleeping over at her house,” I asked.
“Yeah,” my mom said.
We knock on the door and this lady opens the door with a welcoming smile. This is so not she! She looks too young. We walk in the living room, has a red carpet with a bunch of pictures and a couch rapped with plastic covering. Then, we walk in to the kitchen and I see my skinny cousin, with a bald cut, she actually looked healthy for a 93 year old. The house was creeping me out because it smelled old, and I was so ready to turn right back around and GO HOME! That night, my grand mom, mom and I were arguing about the sleeping arrangements. Who was going to sleep with our cousin and who was going to sleep in the other room where there was a pull out bed for two.
“Ayoola, you sleep with her!” my grand mom said
“Oh my gosh, No!”
“Well, I’m not sleeping with her, that’s for sure” My mom said.
We were laughing that whole night and making jokes about how theirs ghost in the house.
That night my grand mom slept with my cousin and I slept with my mom on the pull out couch.
A day has passed and all I’ve done was sit in the rocking chair in the kitchen and count the days and hours I had left.
It was the last day and before we left my cousin took me by my wrist and said, “You’re too quiet, you won’t get anywhere not talking, you need to speak up for your self, and you hear me?”
All my life people would say things to me, and they knew I wouldn’t say anything, but when I would go home I would reenact the situations where people would disrespect me, and I would act like their right in my face and I would go at. I would open up my eyes; there I was in front of the mirror. Things needed to change...I needed to change.
High school was a big leap for me, because I was at my middle school K-8, I knew everyone, it was like my second home because I wasn’t so quiet their and the teachers were really cool. When it came to high school, I was lost at first and didn’t speak much, out side of the class I was screaming, laughing, and wild...CRAZY! When it came to the class I was quiet, I’m only loud with people I’m comfortable around. This school is all about Presentation and Collaboration...why am I here? I’m going to die here! Their I was in front the class, and it was my turn to speak. As I pointed to my powerpoint on the screen, I would begin to stutter nervously, “Um, um, um.... here’s my part!” Was I really ready for this school?
I got a job -it was over the summer before my tenth grade year. It was a job with the Student Conservation Association. I honestly think that summer of 2011, I found myself and became more confident in front of people. We had to work in a group for my job - four boys and five girls. Out of all of them, I was the youngest, why me!! I was the only one going to the tenth grade, the rest of them were going to College or to the twelth grades. For the first two weeks it was okay, we worked in the woods, cleaning, we got paid and everything was going well... until people wanted to act so stinky towards me. They thought that they could disrespect me, just because I was the youngest and the quietist. For the rest of the four weeks, I was alone, I didn’t speak and who ever started to get disrespectful I would get in their face, the days were HOT. I was in jeans all day with boots I had to wear, and didn’t want to take anything from anyone. I started to notice my change, I was more confident. Every morning when we would all meet up at Broad and Girard and get in to the vans to head to the Wissahickon park, everyone else was noticing my attitude. I didn’t laugh anymore, I wasn’t smiling, I would have a kind of face that was like “Mess with me and we’re going to have a problem”
My personality did change a bit over the summer, so I thought that I should lay off talking to people that disrespect me, and arguing means that they’re getting their way, because people annoy you just to get your angry reaction.
“It was when I found out I had to talk, that school became a misery.” This quote is from the book Tongue Tied That quote is very similar to my autobiography because that’s how I felt, when the teachers told me I had to speak up all the time. it was hard for me to yell in class in front of 30 kids and a teacher that’s grading me. In the story “Tongue Tied” is about the girl went to Chinese School to get more confidence and when she was with her own kind she was loud and free. When I’m with my friends, I’m goofy and loud, but when it comes to a class, I become quiet, which is similar to the girl in “Tongue Tied.”
Tenth grade came around and I felt a little boost to become more talkative and outgoing. I saw a change within weeks. I was making new friends, but one thing that didn’t change was my presentation skills. I would still stand in front of the class and talk in the lowest voice ever.
I was presenting in Bio Chemistry one day, and my teacher was getting annoyed with me, after class, she told me that my presentation skills is a big part of her class, a big part of the school. Now that my grades can easily go down because I’m not loud enough, I feel as though I didn’t have time to gradually talk up and gain confidence. If I don’t, when will I? I have to start…
Now.
The project is about me not speaking up, the project was my language biography. The process of my essay, was when the first time we got introduced to the topic me not speaking up popped in to my head. First I thought about things that happened to me that had to do with me not speaking up, and turn them in to scenes. After I remembered a couple of scenes that’s when I began to fill in my essay with details. Different things I learned when writing this essay was I grew from when I never really spoke up, to becoming sociable because people motivated me.
Paper:
“I can’t hear you!”
“Girl, you need to break out of that shell, not gone get you no where”
… I’ve been hearing this phrase. All. My. Life. If I could, I would go back in time and speak up! I’ve lost opportunities for really amazing things and finding out who I am because of not speaking up. People won’t stop and listen to a person that doesn’t ever speak up. They won’t even take the time and find out whom I am. I wanted to become a model ever since I started to watch “America’s Next Top Model.” The girls on that show are loud, outgoing, and free spirited. One day, I told my mom
“Mom, I want to become a model.”
“That’s great, but you’re too shy, I won’t be with you on that runway or talking on talk shows for you. You’ll have to speak up for your self.”
She would say that every time I had an idea for something I wanted to pursue or something that I have interest in. Her answer would be ‘You’re too shy’, every time.
I tried…I really tried to speak up more when in front of strangers. Excect, my throat tighten up, my hands get clammy and I would start to sweat. Would I ever be able to break out of my shell?
My grand mom, my mom and I drove down to North Carolina in June 2011, to visit our cousin who’s 93 that we’ve never met in person. We drive up to a small house that was falling apart. “OH NO,” I said in my head.
“Are we sleeping over at her house,” I asked.
“Yeah,” my mom said.
We knock on the door and this lady opens the door with a welcoming smile. This is so not she! She looks too young. We walk in the living room, has a red carpet with a bunch of pictures and a couch rapped with plastic covering. Then, we walk in to the kitchen and I see my skinny cousin, with a bald cut, she actually looked healthy for a 93 year old. The house was creeping me out because it smelled old, and I was so ready to turn right back around and GO HOME! That night, my grand mom, mom and I were arguing about the sleeping arrangements. Who was going to sleep with our cousin and who was going to sleep in the other room where there was a pull out bed for two.
“Ayoola, you sleep with her!” my grand mom said
“Oh my gosh, No!”
“Well, I’m not sleeping with her, that’s for sure” My mom said.
We were laughing that whole night and making jokes about how theirs ghost in the house.
That night my grand mom slept with my cousin and I slept with my mom on the pull out couch.
A day has passed and all I’ve done was sit in the rocking chair in the kitchen and count the days and hours I had left.
It was the last day and before we left my cousin took me by my wrist and said, “You’re too quiet, you won’t get anywhere not talking, you need to speak up for your self, and you hear me?”
All my life people would say things to me, and they knew I wouldn’t say anything, but when I would go home I would reenact the situations where people would disrespect me, and I would act like their right in my face and I would go at. I would open up my eyes; there I was in front of the mirror. Things needed to change...I needed to change.
High school was a big leap for me, because I was at my middle school K-8, I knew everyone, it was like my second home because I wasn’t so quiet their and the teachers were really cool. When it came to high school, I was lost at first and didn’t speak much, out side of the class I was screaming, laughing, and wild...CRAZY! When it came to the class I was quiet, I’m only loud with people I’m comfortable around. This school is all about Presentation and Collaboration...why am I here? I’m going to die here! Their I was in front the class, and it was my turn to speak. As I pointed to my powerpoint on the screen, I would begin to stutter nervously, “Um, um, um.... here’s my part!” Was I really ready for this school?
I got a job -it was over the summer before my tenth grade year. It was a job with the Student Conservation Association. I honestly think that summer of 2011, I found myself and became more confident in front of people. We had to work in a group for my job - four boys and five girls. Out of all of them, I was the youngest, why me!! I was the only one going to the tenth grade, the rest of them were going to College or to the twelth grades. For the first two weeks it was okay, we worked in the woods, cleaning, we got paid and everything was going well... until people wanted to act so stinky towards me. They thought that they could disrespect me, just because I was the youngest and the quietist. For the rest of the four weeks, I was alone, I didn’t speak and who ever started to get disrespectful I would get in their face, the days were HOT. I was in jeans all day with boots I had to wear, and didn’t want to take anything from anyone. I started to notice my change, I was more confident. Every morning when we would all meet up at Broad and Girard and get in to the vans to head to the Wissahickon park, everyone else was noticing my attitude. I didn’t laugh anymore, I wasn’t smiling, I would have a kind of face that was like “Mess with me and we’re going to have a problem”
My personality did change a bit over the summer, so I thought that I should lay off talking to people that disrespect me, and arguing means that they’re getting their way, because people annoy you just to get your angry reaction.
“It was when I found out I had to talk, that school became a misery.” This quote is from the book Tongue Tied That quote is very similar to my autobiography because that’s how I felt, when the teachers told me I had to speak up all the time. it was hard for me to yell in class in front of 30 kids and a teacher that’s grading me. In the story “Tongue Tied” is about the girl went to Chinese School to get more confidence and when she was with her own kind she was loud and free. When I’m with my friends, I’m goofy and loud, but when it comes to a class, I become quiet, which is similar to the girl in “Tongue Tied.”
Tenth grade came around and I felt a little boost to become more talkative and outgoing. I saw a change within weeks. I was making new friends, but one thing that didn’t change was my presentation skills. I would still stand in front of the class and talk in the lowest voice ever.
I was presenting in Bio Chemistry one day, and my teacher was getting annoyed with me, after class, she told me that my presentation skills is a big part of her class, a big part of the school. Now that my grades can easily go down because I’m not loud enough, I feel as though I didn’t have time to gradually talk up and gain confidence. If I don’t, when will I? I have to start…
Now.
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