Birds Eye

Journal Entry  May 5th, 2050 Age: 9

The Flash People, that is what I see when I wake up. Only for a few seconds though, before they fade away into nothing, but what do they mean? What do they want? Do they have others to speak to? I told my mom about it once and she said that its all in my head, or it was just a dream. Can you be asleep and wake up into a dream? If so, does that mean you were in a dreaming about sleep?If not, then was I then that means in my dream, I wasn’t dreaming at all, but thats means I couldn’t be asleep. I don’t know. Maybe she’s right, maybe it is in my head, but that doesn’t explain the zaps I always feel. I learned in school that when you rub your feet against a rug that you would create static electricity, but even when I’m not rubbing my feet against the floor. Maybe I’m a superhero, like Static Shock. I can’t tell anyone though, can’t let my secret identity be discovered by my enemies. I need to make a name… how about... Lightingbird. Yes! Because I have lightning powers, and my name is a bird, genius! I will defend New York City and rain lightning down on all evildoers.

From the new hero,

Eagle Waynes aka The Lightningbird       

Journal Entry March 2nd, 2058 Age: 17

I wake up to the typical engine sounds and birds yelping back and forth to one another like an endless conversation held by the beloved. It wasn't until my eyes reveal to me the world that I am reminded of my divergence. The beaming flashes that pulsate in and out of my peripherals seeking attention before I can understand them. After a few blinks I come to terms before fear takes its hold. Then I begin to sense the world around me. Energy surrounding me in hope that maybe I may provide a purpose to their meaningless endeavors. The visions, the senses, all branches to the tree of my existence. I can control electro-magnetic impulses within myself and the world around me. The pulses of electricity that freely go about our bodies control our movements, however, its more than that for me. My body works like a generator, greatly increasing these pulses to god-like levels. I’ve learned to control such energy, but as far as the vision, I’ve yet to decipher their meaning or relevance. I cannot make out any faces, except one. A man, maybe in his late thirties, he says something, before everything fades into my current existence. I do not speak to my mother about this, I’ve heard what they do to people like me. A life of hiding, fearing imprisonment and the sacrifice of my own humanity. I know this because they wouldn’t consider me human, therefore a non-human doesn’t deserve humanity. No one must ever know of this.

Journal Entry March 2nd, 2058 Age: 17

School today was much of the same, much isolation without much conversation. I understand that it is for the good of me and my family but I wonder how for how much longer. The one girl, Jennifer, is the only person I consistently find myself conversing with. She is an extraordinary individual, strong, smart, and beautiful. But bigger things are at play at the moment other than lust. I walked in the door to find my mother, crying in a corner with a picture in her hand. On closer inspection, it was the picture of a group of people. I ran to her side and asked, “Mom! What’s wrong?”

Sniveling, she replied, “Nothing sweetie I’m ok.” My mom had shown me the picture before, her and my dad were both in it, everyone was smiling and celebrating but my mom never told me who the other people in the photo were. I asked, “Who are these people?” My mom then took to the kitchen in such haste not even the the new sound speed Lamborghini's could keep up. I evaluated the image some more and have taken it to my room, what does the picture mean, who are these people in it, and why is my mom so upset about it? My mom has been acting very strange lately but why? I only wish I knew, maybe I could do something about it.

Journal Entry March 7th 2058 Age: 17

These past few days, these visions have seemingly become more vivid. I can almost make out faces to these Flash People, as what I called them once before. Men, women, and children all seem to be the people in these visions. The visions also becoming less broken up and more detailed and sensible instead of halting randomly. I see people tripping over each other, running, falling, dying. But what chills me the most is… I feel like I can feel what they feel. Fear, desperation, pain, and misery. I’m not sure what is going on. Am I going crazy? I feel like I’m in a large box, conversing with my own echo to provide the illusion that I’m not alone. Maybe that’s the case, maybe I am in this mental box with just my journal as an echo. Can I even really control electricity, or is that yet another trick I’ve fooled myself to believing? I don’t know, I’m so confused, I’m so lost, and no one seems to be able to help me.  

 Journal Entry March 9th 2058 Age: 17

I’ve hit a bit of a crossroad these last couple day. Jennifer and I have gotten really close recently. I don’t know, there’s something about her that hibernates this ravenous animal I feel inside. Why just yesterday I used the holographic facetime app on my phone for the first time to talk to her. I may not be a normal person, but who ever said that I couldn’t try to be normal. All my life I’ve been expecting the worst but hoping for the best, maybe its time for me to stop sitting around hoping I find my purpose and go out and create one for myself. With any luck, I may no longer need to write in my journal to cope with this longingness. Hopefully, I may finally find peace within myself. then in helping myself, I can help the world around me.   

Journal Entry March 29th 2058 Age: 18

It’s my birthday today! Been a few weeks since I wrote in my journal. I’ve just been, happy for the first time in so long. I finally feel like for once in my life, I don’t view the world from a barren moon, decelent and alone. Me and Jennifer have been spending a lot of time together, both in and out of school. I finally ditched that one lonely table in the back of the cafe at school, now sitting with Jennifer and her friends Sammy and Brian. The Flash People visions happen a lot less frequently now. Even when I do see the Flash People, I don’t think about them as much and I can just continue my life. I feel like, maybe life doesn’t require all the answers, sometimes you have to just accept what reality and not question it. You’d think the world is perfect but… it’s still the thought in the back of my mind that if they knew who I was, they would reject me. I’m still not sure if I can trust Jennifer, or anyone at that to reveal who I am too. I finally feel like I’m actually a part of society, instead of an undercover agent among humanity. I’ve also gotten into poetry a little bit since me and Jennifer been hanging out. It helps me cope with the part of me that different. I fear that I cannot hide from who I am forever. Eventually someone will know, whether I tell them or not, and it will be my responsibility to bear whatever comes next.  

Poem: Day Time

Is the sun ever really gone?

At sunset,

does it set off?

In cloud cover,

does it cover up?

Even when stars dominate the sky,

the sun never dies.

Even the moon borrows its light to become bright and illuminate the night.

No matter what,

the sun cannot hide from who it is.

It is everything.

Poem: The Underworld

I lived my life in the underworld,

digging deeper and deeper like a mole,

trying to find a deeper meaning.

However, I am blind,

feeling my way through the darkness,

unaware of what I’ll find.

The world above is but a mystery,

a forbidden landscape for which danger lies like the stench of a dead animal.

Yet even in my sanctuary of darkness,

I long for the light.

what it feels like,

what it sounds like, What it looks like.    

Journal Entry April 3rd 2058 Age: 18

A dark cloud has been thundering in my head, lashing out on whatever bit of sanity I had left. The vision are back, but not only in my sleep, I see them constantly through the day as well. With every flash, it feels like another part of me is consumed, even in class today I had to shock myself a few time in order to prevent a breakdown. For some odd reason, I long for Jennifer. I haven’t seen her these last few days and that too is driving me mad. Is she ok? Did something happen? Could I have prevented it? Why? Why do I feel like this? We cannot be together, if she knew who and what I was she would reject me. Not only that but I will not include her in this curse I’m forced to bear, knowing someone could come knocking on your door and snatch you up to never be seen again. Yet, I feel like without her, I truly am a pariah. Forced to walk and stand alone in the emptiness of my mind. Anyways, whether I like it or not, my mom has to find out about this. I fear that without someone to tell, I will fall further and further into this pit of despair that is my mind. Maybe this secret I’ve been forced to pair all this time is why I’m experiencing this. Clearing my conscience may be able to clear my mind, and inturn, clear up this madness.

Journal Entry April 4th 2058 Age: 18

This morning, I told my mom everything. About the visions, the powers, and my own thoughts on it. I also showed her my journal, with everything I’ve wrote over these years about these things. She lashed out at me, “Why have you waited so long to tell me something like this!?”

I replied, “My own paranoia won out, I felt as though if you or anyone else knew, you’d reject me, or worse, I’d put you at a certain amount of danger.”

“Danger how!?” She said.

“You’ve seen the movies mom, even the nature programs. Whenever people find something or someone who’s different, that individual is destroyed either physically, mentally, or both. It’s just human nature mom, to destroy radicals.” Her face then went from anger and frustration to a great deal of sadness. She ran into the other room, leaving a river behind where she stepped. I feel bad now for dragging my mother into this. She has dealt with so much, having to be a single mother raising a child like me. Maybe I should’ve just kept this to myself but…

Journal Entry April 5th 2058 Age: 18

I think I finally understand. I understand what the visions are, what they mean. They are flashbacks of the last time I saw my father. My mom showed me a picture, the same picture she was crying about last month. She pointed at a man and asked me, “Did you see this man in your visions?” I I observed the man closely and then it hit me. It was the one man in the vision whose face I could clearly decipher. I replied, “Yes.” She took a hard sigh and said to me, “I hoped I would never have to explain this to you Eagle.”

“Explain what?” I said.

“(Sigh) Remember when I told you your father died in a car accident with an astroid on his way to pick you up from Cosmic Playhouse?”

“Yes.” I replied

“Well, that wasn’t at all true.”

I paused for a second then asked, “My father is the one I see in my visions, isn’t it?”

A single tear fell from her eye and she answered, “Yes.”

I paused again to take in everything, then I asked, “What happened?”

“Your father and I had were like many others, we opposed the law set by the Higher Family to send children of age to live on the new one of the three new planets chosen by government in order to graduate college. The idea is to use the carbon dioxide we excrete to fertilize the plant sanctuaries on those planets until the plants produce enough oxygen to support life on the planet. We formed a radicalist group called The Birds, to stop children from being sent to hazardous conditions in order to be a graduate and make a choice of will. Though our movement was peaceful, the Higher Family was notorious for opposing opposition with violence, therefore we were more than willing to exercise our second amendment. We marched, we rallied, and we occasionally had conflict with the Higher Forces, but we never needed fired shots. It even got to a point where your father sold our weapons and gave money to poor communities. Your father…  was such a great man, always putting himself last. Eventually, he lead us as far as a meeting with the Higher Family. We were overjoyed, finally, The Higher Family sees wrong in their ways on the graduation system and are willing to hear us out. But…”

“Let me guess, it was a set-up?” I asked. My mother chuckled a little. “You’re as sharp as your father you know.” Then she continued, “Your father was suspicious when it was requested that the entire Bird movement be at this meeting, however he didn’t want to risk losing this opportunity, so he agreed.”

“But what does this have to do with me?” I asked. She paused a minute to gather her thoughts, and then spoke, “Because you had to come.” My eyes widened like two ripe tomatoes. “Me? Why did I have to go?”

“Your father thought it would be safer, then to leave you at home with the hologram.” She said. “When we arrived, we were put in a room with a large stage and one door. The floor creeked from deterioration and there was a somewhat earyness to the place. I asked him, why have a meeting of this scale in a place of this scale. He answered back, I have a bad feeling about this. He directed us to the side of the where the floor seemed to be more stable. Then out of the blue, all you heard was a large boom and the crackling of broken wood. Your father then yelled, Birds to the door! As we made our way to the door we realized that the sound we heard was the floor exploding beneath us. Then we started hearing gunshots ring from the direction of the door. We stopped, the your father guided us a the hole. As we reached the bottom, we stumbled over broken wood and dead bodies. Your father turned around  and said that he needed to guide what was left of the Birds to safety. (Crying) I didn’t want to leave you, but I needed to get you to safety. As I ran, I felt a large burst of energy, then nothing.”

“So what happened after that?” I asked.

“We woke up in a hospital. The doctor said I was lucky to survive, but you… you were in surprisingly great condition. I asked where you and the doctor said you were in the playroom now. I always did ask myself, why weren’t you affected by the blast, but I never realized you absorbed its energy somehow.”

“I guess we know why now… Mom, can I ask you something?”

“What is it?”

“Why didn’t you ever try to bring the Birds back if you felt so strong about its purpose?” She paused for a minute, collecting her thoughts, then she spoke, “Because I spent all these years waiting for the day that he would come home and do it himself.” She answered as tear started draining off her face like a downpour in the forest. “Your father was so strong, and so devoted…. I just wish I could have him back.” She said. I sat silently for a few seconds and watched the emotion spill from my mothers face. “Mom.” I said.

“Theres one more thing.” She said while wiping her face clean. “Your father told me that you were destined to one day be a symbol, which is why he named you after the Birds. I never knew what he meant by that... but Eagle, you owe it to the world to use your gifts for good. That’s what your father would say.”

“Mom, I need to know, where is my dads grave?”

“It’s down on 55th avenue.”

“Can I go there?” She paused for second and replied, “Yes.” I left the house and walked to 55th avenue. All could think about was what my mom told me. The Birds, my father, this mysterious weapon, and me. What made me and my mom so lucky as to survive this weapon where others have perished to it. I arrived at the cemetery. It took sometime but I finally found the grave, Jonathan Waynes. The engraving was hard to read, but its message was clear. It said, “Fight for what is true, live by what is right, die for who you love.” I dropped to my knees and stared into the stars. I saw the Aquila constellation and then my moms words started to echo in my head, “You were named after the Birds.” Then I spoke, “I am The Lightningbird.”