Birthday

I never really understood why some people don't care about their birthday, or don't want people to know about their birthday. But I think I kinda get it.  See Tomorrows my birthday, and the closer it gets the less I care about it. Now normally I have a countdown to my birthday and I make sure everyone knows when my birthday is. I constantly tell people about it because I'm so hype for it to be “my day.” Sometimes my birthdays don't always turn out that well but I always look forward to it. This year is different though. Its my 16th and that's supposed to be a big one. I was making it big. A few months ago I started planning a sweet 16 with some of my good friends. I wanted to go all out. But as it go closer, we were rushing everything. We had to do so much last minute. Like the food, decorating, music, lighting, I even invited people late. That wasn't even what was really getting on my nerves. I don't really like people spending money on me and my mom spent a lot. So whenever we would talk about what needed to be done she would get really upset. It was just hard to deal with. One thing that really hit me hard though,  was what she said after I told her I didn't want her boyfriend at my party. She told me she wasn't going to go. If he didn't go she wasn't going to. I was so confused. Because your boyfriend doesn't go you don't want to? But I'm your daughter and if he's there i'm not gonna have the fun i could without him being there. But I knew that if she didn't go I was gonna get hell after. She put alot into it and if she missed the party she would be pissed. I'm not having another sweet 16, it's only the one. It just hurt hearing that she chose someone she hasn't known nearly as long as her own daughter. And that she didn't really care about missing my sweet 16. I knew my decision was hard, but if I wanted everything to be ok I would have to let him come to the party. I cried so much because of what she really said. I was shocked and hurt. The next day was hard I wasn't really looking forward to the party I kind of just wanted it to be over. But surprisingly it was pretty fun I got to dance, take pictures and celebrate my birthday. I didn't get to eat as much food as I would like to but overall everything went good. There wasn't one mistake. But my birthday is still on the way. And i'm not looking forward to it. I don't know why, but I don't really care about it anymore. None of my close friends want to do anything with me on my birthday. My mom hurt me with what she said.

But maybe it can still turn out ok. Maybe everything will play out fine.  My birthday is “My day.” and i shouldn't let anything stop me from enjoying it. My birthday is going to be ok…