Blog Post- Q2 BM Vignette

Quarter two Benchmark was one of my favorite Benchmarks this year. It was a personal vignette. This vignette let me get a lot of feelings out on paper and softened up hard feelings. I had multiple connections to this benchmark and was very surprised that I didn’t mind sharing this story with my teacher.


Only If…


Lexus Forman


This day was a beautiful day. Walking out of school, the sun was shining, kids laughing, and my mom outside waiting to pick me up as usual (Opener-Magic Three). When I got in the car all I could feel was negative energy. I knew something was up when she didn’t say the usual, “What did you learn today, Lexus?” (Dialogue). I thought maybe someone had said something to her that got under her skin, or she got a dent in her car, you know, just a bad day. So, I asked if we could go get something to eat. We went to KFC and as I was “grubbing” on my food she sprung some devastating news on me out of nowhere. It was “Lexus… Grand mom is in the hospital because she is in a diabetic coma”. I dropped the greasy chicken, popped mouth wide open, and automatically started thinking the worst! (Magic Three). “Is she dying? Am I never going to see her again?”

We pulled up to hospital and I saw a swarm of people in front of the emergency room. I knew that was my family because we have always hated to be waiting in the emergency room with a whole bunch of angry sick people, who have been waiting to hear their names called so they can be relieved from their sickness and that room full of germs! I knew grand mom wasn’t doing to well when all five of her children were at the hospital, all her grandchildren were there except for AJ who lived in Atlanta, and a few people from the church too. By this time everyone had been in to see her but me. I hate hospitals! I tried every excuse in the book to keep me from going in there to see her. However obviously I did not win, so I sucked it up and went in there. When I walked in her room I could not believe what I saw. She was connected to so many tubes and needles. I knew that couldn’t be comfortable at all. I felt so bad because I knew I couldn’t do anything to help. I needed to get out that room; I just couldn’t bear the pain.

As I went outside looking for some comfort, I walked outside to a bunch of arguing. I knew I had a dysfunctional family, but right know, were they serious? I needed to get away, and plus I had to use the bathroom. So, I went into the lobby and used the bathroom. I was so overwhelmed and upset at the whole situation that I broke down into tears. At the time when we need each other the most, they wanted to argue. The only sane ones there at the time were my three-year-old niece and me. I was thinking maybe they could learn something from us.

By the weekend grand mom wasn’t doing any better. There was no progress made. By this time, I kind of knew that she was not going to make it. However, I stilled kept my faith and still kept my conversation with the man upstairs to pull grandmom through this. I woke up one morning and went down to the hospital to spend time with my grand mom. As walked in to my grand mom’s room there was a surprise… My cousin AJ! It was an awesome moment that we shared when he hugged me because I hadn’t seen him in two years because he lived in Atlanta. He gave me a little joy. He was the only one that could really make me laugh and anyone else for that matter. He didn’t only bring his luggage from Atlanta; he brought his joy and bandages to fix the family. When he was there was no arguing because every time he would feel a heated argument coming on, he would tell a joke. I think the family started to notice that this is not the time to argue, this is the time to come together because we all needed each other.

I woke up for school this one morning and the hospital called my mother and told her they wanted to speak to the family. I had the option to go to the hospital or to go to school. I choose to go to school because from watching soap operas, anytime a doctor wanted to speak to the family the sound effect “duh duh duhhhh” (onomatapeia) came on. Surprisingly, I hardly thought about the situation all day in school. When I walked out of school, I saw my mom standing outside her car, my sister and cousin in another car, and my uncle and aunt in the other. (Repetion for Effect). They all had on sunglasses, although the sun was beaming that day I knew for a fact that was not the case. I got down to the car, and my mom gave me the biggest hug in the world. I could feel her pain trickling down my back. I pushed her off of me and jumped in the car. I hate for people to see me cry because I think I’m going to be viewed as a weak person.

Grandma, I need you! Please come back. I don’t know how to make it without you! You were my rock, my soul, and my sanity. (Magic 3). I promise I will do anything you would like to do. You want to play cards? We can even watch those western cowboy shows you loved so much. I can say I am a pretty strong human being and some people even say I hardly have emotions, however I knew for this one I needed strength. After the news of my grand mother’s death, I knew I needed to go home, grope my bible, and pray till no end. (Magic 3). After I had done this I had no emotions. I didn’t cry at all, I just thought. This tragedy could not be amputated from my brain. When thinking about this, all I could think about is how I didn’t make her the brownies I had promised for millions of years, and how I never came over to help water the plants like I had promised. The thing that gets me is my grandma lived right across the driveway. I couldn’t do this for her anymore. Basically, I lied to my grandma! I wish there was a postman for heaven, so he can come pick up the diabetic brownies I made and deliver it to her mansion in heaven.

I was drowning in my guilt. The anguish had captivated my body and soul. All I wanted to do is sit in the bed and let the guilt suffocate me. I tried to convince myself that what I had to do was so much more important than watering plants and baking brownies. I was sure that going over friend’s houses and going to the park was more important. Then I came to realize that those were only excuses grand mom used to get me to come over and chill with her for a while. I never knew how much I would miss my grand mom once she was gone. I would give anything up to see my grand mom for just three minutes. Never will I take another human for granted like I did my grand mom again. I treat my mom like the queen she is now because I can wake up tomorrow and she can be gone! I would just love to be able to hug my grand mom right now and if you have the opportunity to, then don’t take any moment for granted.