Briannie's Monologue

Yes officer, I’m okay.

My story? You want to hear about the whole day?

Okay…

So I was walking home from school. From my fourth new school. I hated the school I currently attended. It sucked being the new kid every time. Everyone thought I was a weirdo but I really didn’t care. I was a 16 year old girl that could care less of what people thought about me. I didn't fit in with the others. Maybe because I was quiet and didn't like opening myself up to others. My favorite part of the day came up, leaving school.

After 10 minutes of walking, I finally got home. I seen that my mother was making my favorite for dinner, barbecued wings with mashed potatoes and broccoli. As soon as I came face to face with my mother she asked me how school was. I didn’t like when my mother would ask me how school was because i would give her the same answer every time. It was miserable. But I would always answer her. I respected her. So I just tell her my day was okay or that it was an awful day.

I was always completely honest with my mom. I never lied to her about how I was feeling. We'd been through so much together and she was my biggest supporter. My mother was pretty chill about everything which I loved about her. She would give the greatest advice and would always tell me to be my own person.  And that’s exactly what I did. My mom was like my best friend. I loved her with all of my heart. I never wanted things to end up the way they did.

It was just my mother and I living at another temporary home. We moved from our old house because my father began to harass us again after he had found us. My father never got over the fact that my mother left him, he would always come back. She left him because he was a drunk and always got fired from his jobs. He was a deadbeat. My mother couldn’t deal with it anymore so we decided to move every once in a while and hoped he never find us. It was exhausting and it took a toll on my mother.

I never had a close bond with my father because he would always judge me for the kind of person I am. He would always tell me to fix my hair. He would tell me to put some makeup on and wear girly clothes. Honestly, I believed that my father didn’t say those things as friendly advice. I believe he said those things so he could have something good to look at all day. Do you know what it's like for a girl to only see her father as a pervert. Of course you don't don't answer. I wish I could love him as any daughter would love their dad but I wasn't normal. I had the prevented and messed up father.

My father would always be really friendly with me, which is why I always kept my distance. I didn’t want to believe my father would look at me in that way but he did. And there was nothing I could do about it. He basically owned me and my mother by owning our fear of him. No one would ever know what ya like to live in constant fear.

Every time there was a knock on our door, I can see the look in my mother’s widened eyes that believed, Could it be my father?

Around 10pm, my mother was watching her lifetime movies and I was sitting at the dining room table doing my homework.

There was loud banging on our door and my heart almost jumped out of my chest. My mother looked at me and then slowly got up from the couch to go open the door.

Something in my gut told me, it was my father. The urgency and inconsistency of the knocks maybe gave it away.

My mother peeked through the peephole of the door and she immediately told me to go upstairs. I disobeyed her. I had to be brave.

She opened the door and tried to keep it somewhat closed but my father swung it open with excessive force.

As soon as the door swung open he began to say all of these crazy things. He was shouting so loud it felt as if my ears were gonna explode. He was drunk and high, like he always was. It was an inner demon he couldn't get rid of.

My mother kept saying that he had to leave and that he couldn’t be here right now. She was just as scared as I was but put up a better front.

My father grabbed my mother and began kissing her and caressing her. I just didn't know what to do I was frozen with shock. My mother got angry and pushed him off of her. Then, he seemed so full of rage.

My mother kept shouting at him to leave and the only thing I can do is stand there in total shock, I didn't  move. I couldn’t do anything. What I should have done was call you guys. I know that now. I'm sorry. I should've. Everything I learned about calling the police just flew away in this time.

After a lot of yelling at each other, I seen my father reaching to the back of his pants. It was a gun. He pulled it out and first pointed it at me, and began to threaten my mother. If she didn't comply with him he would shoot me. My mom started crying hysterically and began shouting, “Shoot me, not her.”

Tears ran down my face. I didn’t know whether my father was gonna pull the trigger or not.

He then pointed the gun at my mother and time stopped. It was as if everything was in slow motion. The five bullets that pierced through the air hit different parts of her body. She had fallen to the ground really really hard. I screamed and ran over to my mother. I kept repeating “Just look at me mom everything's gonna be okay.”

She then whispered “I love you Mariana.” and she took her last breath.

Oh no, I have no idea where my father is now. I was only worried about my mother.