I really like how it showed multiple ages and then went to the present. I also think that the prologue was a great idea. It gave a lot of details about the setting. I also think the important note was such a good idea. I really like the story overall.
The opening framing - -the sense of fate around the burning of this building, and the promise that you will explain how we got to this point — is a gripping opening framing! If I recall correctly, you don't like writing dialogue, which is why this story was mostly narrated. I confess that I did wish for dialogue at times. Not saying you have to start writing it, but you may need plot lines that don't leave the reader wishing for conversation (like about that kiss!)
I think it was great how bold the choice you made with this story was. It's not always easy to pull off such a far-fetched, fictional world, but I think you did a great job with your vivid descriptions.
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