College English Colin Memory Project

Posted by Colin Taylor-McGrane in College English · Pahomov/Rhymer · C Band on Monday, December 17, 2018 at 12:56 pm

After spending a few hours at my desk, my eyes drifted to the wall of my cubicle and my mind drifted elsewhere. I was twenty-eight years old, and I was sitting up in the captain’s quarters of my very own freighter. I might have even put my feet on the desk and my hands on the back of my head, however, I refuse to believe that I could have been that carefree in such a high risk job. I looked up and saw Miami, the city that made me the man I am today, I seem to remember always grinning whenever the great city came into view after seeing nothing but ocean for days. But my smugness soon turned to annoyance as I saw the US Coast Guard approach. Having done this job for seven years, this was far from my first encounter with the boys in blue. As their speedboats encircled my freighter, I sighed as I walked down to greet the officers. They boarded and scattered throughout the boat. I walked down to greet the head officer. I shook his hand and he went into his usual spiel “Hi I am here on behalf of the US Coast guard and I am here to conduct a mandatory search of your vessel for any unregulated commodities.” I rolled my eyes as he went on with his speech “unfortunately, recently, we have been unable to find the source of the influx of arms, so we will have to inspect the contents of your shipping containers.” My heart suddenly beat 10 times faster, there was no way that I could have possibly anticipated this.”What sort of products are you shipping?” he asked. “Farming equipment,” I lied. He opened one container and found a collection of tractors, hoses and pipes. I breathed, but immediately tensed up when he approached the second. He opened it, to reveal a few barrels of grain and some seeding machinery. He looked at the third shipping container which I knew was full of AR-15 rifles, and I could barely breathe. It was a miracle that he didn’t notice my shaking knees and sweat drenched forehead. But then, he looked back at me and said “you’re good to go!” All of the tension suddenly left my body and I looked back at my men and smiled. I should be grateful now that I don’t have to live in fear of the law, now that I live a normal life with a nine to five desk job. I should be grateful that I never had to feel so much tension in my daily life. Yet I can’t say that I feel any remorse for this memory. In fact, I honestly miss the moments when I feared for my life. Because I have not felt a single strong emotion since I got my new job. Though maybe I should be grateful? Boredom is preferable to the slammer.

Artist Statement

This piece was not written from my personal experience, but rather details a memory of a man going through an experience vastly different from my own. One aspect of my piece that was inspired by Margaret Atwood was the unclarity of the protagonist’s memory. When Atwood details Offred’s memory of the pornographic bonfire, she mentions that Offred does not know many of the details of the event. I emulate this choice by making the protagonist question whether or not he was so chill when in his old job. Ken Kesey also chose to have much of the connections between memory and present be done through questions. I chose to emulate this stylistic choice by having the protagonist yearn for his past life of crime.

Comments (2)

Leah Bradstreet

I thought your piece succeeded in showing the memory techniques explained in the Author's Note.
Why was this man a smuggler? Why trade it for a desk job?

Rebecca Snyder

Your piece succeeds in its ability to convey memory using techniques the other author's do. I think that these techniques blend well and are used strategically in your own story. I like the way you included his feelings for longing for this past life he had. It gives more depth to the memory.