Descriptive Essay: Who I want to be or... should be!

I was running around the shed at my after school playing tag with my friends. My favorite teacher Ms. Desi decides to capture the moment with her huge, extremely expensive and professional camera. I really didn’t like how I looked in the picture because I was wearing hand-me-down clothes from an older friend and I stood out. I then ran around the fairly small shed, and bump into Aminada, meanest girl at the after school. I accidentally knock her over. After she got up she pushed me on the ground with all of her might. I got a cut on my elbow from the push and I saw red liquid oozing from the cut. I then realized it was blood and immediately started crying. Ms. Desi said she was in big trouble and had to go see the director of the after school program (my mom). After Aminada got back from the office she stomped towards me and said “I hate you and your family so much. Your mom got me in trouble at home, now I don’t have t.v. for a week! I am going to get your mom fired!” I replied with something I later regreted saying “You can’t get her fired she is going to quit and got to a better job!” At first I laughed in her face, but then I realized I was not supposed to say anything about my mom switching jobs. Her boss didn’t know about it yet. The Aminada went and told a teacher, who then told my mom’s boss.

After truth came out I realized what I did was wrong and it made me really nervous about the outcome. I should have been nervous. In my mind I thought, why would someone retaliate to such a stupid comment. As if Aminada could really get my mom fired for telling her parents she did something she wasn’t supposed to. I could have put my mom’s job in jeopardy. I always told myself “I did it in the heat of the moment.” However I knew that wasn’t true. I did it because I wanted to prove to that girl that I was bigger and better than her. But now that I think about it, I just gave her what she wanted... a chance to get me in really big trouble. Worst of all I stooped down to her lower level. I  was being just as mean as she was to me, and every one else there.

Quiet time, the time before our parents come and pick the kids up. I could feel in my gut that my moms boss had talked to her already. I was laying down, thinking about what severe punishment that I was going to receive when I got home. My hands sweaty and my stomach queasy I decided to tell my mom the truth when I saw her. I thought that maybe if I told her the truth my punishment wouldn’t be so harsh. But when I told my mom I heard the answer that screeched in my ears like nails down a black board. “I know all about what you did and I am going to let your father decide what your punishment will be.” these are the words that I didn’t want to hear. We got home and I saw my dad sitting on the couch watching football. I then walk over to him and stand next to him until he gives me my punishment. I stand there frozen with fear  unable to move a muscle. Then he speaks, “You know you were not supposed to say anything about your mother’s new job, so you have to stand in that corner for an hour and think about why you are in trouble. After that hour is done I want you to go up stairs, do your homework and go to bed.” By the time he was finished I was already crying, streams of tears coming down my face like the Nile river. I went and assume my position in the corner, did my homework and went to bed without dinner. I didn’t stop crying the entire night because I knew what I did was wrong.

When I look back on it, I realize I shouldn't retaliate to what people say if they don’t really matter. All my life I have cared what people think about me, what they say to me, or about me. Now that I realize this I thought my life would be a little more relaxing and smooth. If I don’t worry about gossip, bullies, or saying something I shouldn’t then I will be able to reach my full potential. Throughout my life I have noticed, I always get in trouble for something I shouldn’t, due to a bully.

One day when I was on my way home from the bus stop with my sister and “friends”.  We were all having a good time, making fun of all he teachers we despised. All of a sudden out of nowhere my “friends” started making fun of my sister. “ Kaia you have a is a$$ head.” one friend said “Yea you are sooo ugly.” another commented “You look like one of those troll dolls with he crazy hair.” I joined in, I only did I  because I wanted to be in the in crowd, a part of “the cool people”. When my sister and I  finally got home I noticed she started to break down into tears. “ Morgan I am your sister, why would treat someone you love like that. I am your little sister. Its not like you were just standing there, you I then realized how much I hurt her and decided something needed to change.

All my life I have always wanted to be in the “in crowd”. When I finally saw that what I was doing was hurting the people I love I realized that being cool isn’t all its cracked up to be. those people were not really my friends and never will be. Maybe I should just try to be myself and not try to be someone I am not. that choice is always better.