The voice of your character is so clear: sophisticated, purposeful, with a dark edge. I could see and hear them just based on their voice. This is the opening pages for what could be a very long piece. I wished for more!
This text flows very well. I enjoyed the storyline and the evolution of ideas/themes builds on an obvious passion for the subject. Maybe this writing could have included more of a character/dialogue type of storyline. Overall, amazing job.
I really liked your attention to detail in your story and actually having a direction of where you wanted to go. There was a lot going on and not enough plot being established, so I was a little confused throughout it, but definitely took note of the expansive story you were going for.
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