Oh my god, there he is! The boy I was telling you about. Be cool, be cool.
Every time I see Tyler, it’s like 20,000 shots of dopamine gets released from my brain. He walks towards me and I lock my eyes into his, like a reminder to brush my teeth twice a day, every day -- just in case we get close. My eyes wander down to his lips, what a perfect pair of lips. I look at his arms, nice and strong. He walks away from me and I feel myself gazing at his butt. (Shakes head) Snap out of it Billy. If he turns around and looks down he’ll see you with that, and then you’ll be exposed. Fucking snap out of it!
(Pause. Billy is turned towards audience, but isn’t looking at them. He’s talking to his best friend Jor (h-or))
I know, I know, Jor. It’s wrong, I just can’t help myself though. He’s so sexy. And it’s not even like a, “damnnnn boy! Look at your body” type sexy, it’s like a, “damnnn boy! Your face, your body, your style is just a turn on.” And his personality just melts my heart. He’s perfect.
What do you mean “how does his personality melt your heart?” Like the way he--well, it’s more like how he--It’s like when you’re on a roller coaster. When you’re waiting in that long line and you’re preparing yourself for what’s about to happen. You finally get up to the gate and see the other people slowly pull off in the roller coaster. A few seconds later, you hear their screams--the beginning is scary and challenging, but in the end, you know they’re having a good time. Then, they come back, and they look so happy. The only difference with me is that I never get in the line, I’m too scared.
No, it’s not alright! I want him, but I’m too scared to tell him. I’m such a pussy.
You really think so? I mean, I kind of think I am. I don’t know, maybe you’re right. Ughhhh, I wish I had the balls to tell him.
No, I don’t! What if he looks at me like I’m crazy? Or what if he laughs and tell everyoneeeeee I’m gay? I can’t go through that humiliation. I mean, commmmmme on! How would you feel if your crush told everyoneeeeeee you liked him? Huh? (Sits down on a bench)
Yeah, that’s what I thought, but--
So, you’re saying you wouldn’t be humiliated?
(Pause. Billy is confused)
What the fuck? ...Why not?
So, you’re basically saying you wouldn’t be upset if the whole school, including your crush, knew you liked him? You wouldn’t be upset to know that everyone in school knew you were gay? You would instead feel relieved?
(Pause) Damn...you have guts. You know what, you’re right. I’m gonna rip a page out of your book, and tell him. I’m gonna tell him that I like him, and he’s gonna act normal and not tell anyone that I told him I liked him. Yeah, of course. It’s totally normal for guys to like guys. Yeah! I totally got this. Yeah, because it doesn’t matter if he laughs at me, or if he doesn’t. I had the courage to tell him, which is all that matters. But how do I do it? Oh myyyyyyy God (sits down and puts face in hands). It’s like one thing after another! Like, Jesus Christ! Can I get a freaking break!
(Pause and takes face out of hands) You’re right. I don’t need to take time out of my day to flip out about what to say, or if he’ll tell everyone. He should respect me as a human being who has feelings. He should acknowledge my courage and strength to even talk to him, so that’s what I’m gonna do.
(Gets up and walks over to Tyler)
Hey, what’s up?