I think you did a really good job with writing in your character's voice and staying true to that character throughout the story. The science fiction elements reveal themselves throughout the story, which gives a lot of incentive to keep reading, I think there are a lot of things about the main character and the world that you find out as you read that I like a lot. I also appreciate distinguishing speech patterns that you made for different characters and species, that makes the story seem more realistic. Really nice job, the story was awesome!
That was really good. There is no time wasted in this story, there is enough background and world-building to aid the thematics and characterization. I don't know if you've watched Ghost in a Shell, but I got mad vibes from this, especially with the whole "Am I human" dilemma. This is a real good example of "first chapter to a novel" done right. There are options for the characters, the duo, to take from here, but there is still a complete arc in terms of Dust's humanity becoming validated by the brash Gunslinger by the end. I'm interested in this, it's really cool. Awesome.
Well crafted story with a fairly interesting concept. The dialogue is a tad bit wonky, but overall this is the best essay grammatically I've read so far.
Comments (3)
Log in to post a comment.