Embarrassment: Best Friend or Worst Enemy?

              It all started when I was graduating from middle school. Everyone else was excited but I was nervous as hell. I am a very shy person and when walking into a room without knowing anybody is a hell zone for people with personalities like me. This is how I became a student today here at SLA. As I come in through the door after walking home from school with a huge fever. Sweat is running down my face. I feel like there is a volcano exploding in my head.  As I run upstairs to go to sleep. I realized I left my phone downstairs. I was waiting for a call from SLA to see if I would get admitted or not and I waited everyday near my phone for two weeks. But I was really tired from the fever. It was spreading as quick as a wildfire. I just decided just to leave it because I had lost all hope of getting that call or even getting in. I woke up from my nap still lightheaded from the fever. I felt I was walking on clouds as I walked downstairs to watch TV. I grab my cell phone to check if I had any text messages. I opened my phone and it said I had a missed call. All a sudden my heart was beating really fast and the room started spinning. I wondered was this was call I was waiting for. I called the number back and a lady answered the phone asking do I still want to come to SLA. I was in shock. I didn’t know what to say but then I snapped back to reality. I said yes. She told me to come in to take a placement test then hung up. I just stared at my phone confused. I wondered if I got in or not because she just told me to come in to take a test so I didn’t know if that was a definite yes or not. Then I finally grabbed my phone and ran upstairs with my heart beating so fast. I called my counselor who was trying to help me get into SLA at that time. I waited for her to pick up. She picked up and I told her what happened. She told me I got in. I started screaming and shouting and called everyone in my phonebook. I knew all that hard work has finally paid off as I ran upstairs. I felt like Rocky running up those stairs to go on face book to announce I finally got in to SLA.

After waiting for a couple of weeks because I knew summer institute had started. I got out my dad car and I walked towards the door of SLA. I walked very slowly because I knew it was going to an awkward horrible day. I couldn’t find the door to the school. I only went there once. I was to scare to remember anything. I ran out of there as fast as I could. I walked in the door with the heaviest heart because I knew this was a hell zone for shy kids like me. I got handed a paper and was told to take a seat I turn around to see a sea of chairs and kids looking either angry or bored. I take a seat as quickly as I could. I had to wait there half an hour and a played with the piece of paper like I was given the best game in the world to play with. They told us to head up to the rooms we were assigned to. I walked up those stairs my feet felt like cinder blocks weighing a hundred pounds each. I knew something bad was going to happen. Then I realized I was I was lost. I didn’t know where the second floor was. I had to ask some random stranger looking at me like I was the dumbest person in the world because they pointed to the sign on the door the said the second floor.I ran down because I did not want to see the person face that helped me. I walked into the class and new faces stared at me with a “what are you doing here” expression. I took my seat as quickly as I could and I had never had been so embarrassed in my life. I sat there wondering if the day could get any worse. I sat there with all these unknown faces looking at me with a pissed off face.

I felt so little compared to all these kids and I was little enough already. I can feel sweat building up in my body because I was so nervous. The teacher had us all introduce ourselves and my voice was like a mouse barely squeaking because no one could hear me. My throat closes up when I get really nervous so there was no way I could talk any louder. We had to play games. I was ready to cry cause my shyness was overcoming me so much that I could barely move from my seat. I wonder how everyone faces looked so calm. I played the game but I tried to not volunteer as much as possible. But the teacher kept picking on me. I was so close to throwing my shoe at him because he can obviously see that I was shy. But when we had to go on our expedition it was really fun because I met some new potential friends. We went to Logan Square. It was really hot that day so the water was cooling us down but all of us had no idea to do. We just walked around the fountain what felt like hundreds to times.  Then it was all pretty much boring after that. But towards the end of that day I broke out my shy shell and made really good friends till this day. I found out a lot about myself a lot that day. I knew I could make friends easily if I just was myself. Though my day was a ton of embarrassing moments there were still a handful of good moments to. Even though I hate being embarrassed in the end it always take me to good places and learn new lessons.

The word “embarrassing” is what I can honestly say is the most used and known word in my life. Embarrassing things happen a lot to me. I can’t help it when a situation gets too much for me and then I can’t stand the fact anymore. Sometimes I get put into situations that I can’t handle. When things get really bad it becomes a hell zone for shy and easily embarrassed people like me. Some people can handle embarrassment easily and shake it off like it never happened. For other people that moment keeps replaying over and over again in their head. It never stops and they will never forget it. They fear that people will never forget and look at them differently.  Embarrassment can be your best friend and worst enemy. From my own experience it is my worst enemy but also my best friend cause always in the end they bring me to good places.