finding my voice

In chapter 23 of The Handmaid’s Tale. Offer is telling us how she comes to her senses. Between Luke and the commander, she realizes and is coming to a point where she doesn’t have a say in anything and feels taken advantage of.

The quote that stood out to me in chapter 23 was: “We are not each other anymore. Instead, I am his.” This quote hit me because it shows how Offred is no longer in a relationship built on love and equality. She is forced into a role where she’s owned and not loved. It’s not about the connection anymore; it’s about control. That shift from being someone’s partner to being someone’s property is heartbreaking, and it made me think of a time in my life where I felt like I didn’t have a voice either.
When I started volleyball in 9th grade, I was terrified. I had always been bigger than most of the other girls, and I thought that meant I wouldn’t be good enough. I was scared I wouldn’t make the team, scared people would judge me, and scared that my name belonged, so instead of speaking up and showing confidence, I let people run over me. I didn’t take up space, I didn’t ask questions, I didn’t play like I knew I could, I just tried to stay quiet and not get noticed, so I wouldn’t get embarrassed for being bigger and not knowing how to play volleyball.
That feeling of dimming yourself down because you didn’t think that you deserve to be there, reminding me of offered she’s in a society that doesn’t value her thoughts or feelings, she’s forced to play a role that just like I felt forced to play the role of being a quiet, insecure girl who didn’t want to mess up. Offered says, “ I am his,” and that line shows that she’s been reduced to someone’s possession. I feel like I was letting other people define me, too, not because they told me I had to, but because I was too scared to speak up. In chapter 23, Offred starts meeting with the commander, and they play Scrabble, which seems small, but it’s actually huge. It’s the first time she’s allowed to use her mind to speak freely, even if it’s just through a game, that moment reminded me of when I finally started to feel confident on the volleyball court. I remember one practice where I made a great serve, and my coach actually cheered for me. It was the first time I felt maybe I did belong, just like offers are still a tiny bit of power in those secret meetings. I started feeling a tiny bit of confidence in myself. But even then, offered knows she’s not free, she says, “I am his “because even though she’s allowed to play Scrabble and talk, it’s still on his terms. She’s still trapped in this world on the unspeakable. That’s how I felt,t tooLikeke I was only allowed to feel good if someone else permitted me. I didn’t fully believe in myself, yet I was still holding back. This chapter made me feel, and we think about how hard it is to find your voice when you’ve been taught to stay silent. Offered used to have a life where she was free, she had a husband, and daughter a job. Now she’s in a world she’s not even allowed to read. That loss of identity is something I felt in a smaller way when I started High School. I didn’t know who I was anymore. I was trying to fit in. I was trying not to stand out, and they made me feel invisible. Reading just a chapter helps me realize that even small acts of confidence matter. Offering to play Scrabble might seem like nothing, but it’s her way of holding on to who she used to be; it’s a way of saying I’m still here. For me, stepping onto the volleyball court and finally speaking up was my way of saying the same thing I’m still here I deserve to be seen. This quote also made me think about how her relationships can change from Power gets involved. To have a loving relationship with Luke, where they were equals. Now she’s in a situation where she’s being used. That shift is painful, but it reminded me of how important it is to be in spaces where you’re respected and valued. Whether it’s a team or friendship, or a classroom, everyone deserves to feel like they belong. In the end, this chapter showed me that finding my voice takes time. Offered is still trapped, but she’s starting to push back in small ways. She’s starting to speak up for herself more, but I was scared to speak up. But eventually I did, and once I did, everything started to change. I started to feel stronger and more confident and more like myself, just like I learned that even at your worst, you still find ways to hold on to who you are.