Green Card

Avocado is sitting there all sad, and a fly comes along and lands next to him.*
Hola, little fly, I’m Bob. Nice to meet you. Ju know, I have a lot on my mind and I’d really appreciate it if you’d hear me out. You will? Gracias, señor. *deep breath, exhale* Well,  It’s been a couple weeks since I first arrived at this Whole Foods, and I mean, things were looking muy bueno. I wasn’t worried about a thing. Let me give you a little background on how I got here, little fly. My life began on an avocado tree not too long ago, maybe a month ago. Things were looking good m’hijo, really good. I had successfully snuck into the transportation box that I had spotted not too far from the avocado tree I dangled from. I felt my little avocado hairs stand on end as I fell from the tree to the box as the box loaded up the truck. All without any harm being done to me! I was on my way to Whole Foods! Hahaha, I couldn’t wait for the driver of the truck to start up his engine and drive me to the promised land. *pauses, sad look slowly developes* Sadly though, from the excitement I passed out unconscious and ended up here. I woke up and.. I looked around... and.. none of it even looked familiar. Yet I suddenly realized just what was happening. I had made it to the Whole Foods! Across the border! Freedom! ¡He escapado, he escapado! I almost let out a shriek but I can’t because there are customers peering into the box I’m chilling in, and I can’t just freak out at a human, you know, ‘cause like.... I’m a fuckin’ avocado! We can’t talk. Instead, my eyes fill with water as I feel the chills overcome my whole body. Freedom. It’s all real. Suddenly, I hear “Mommy? Why is that avocado so ugly? It’s all bruised up and looks like a little green turd.” Still smiling, I looked around at all of the flawless green fresh avocados and thought, “Who could she be talking about?” *pause, smile turns to blank face* I felt my smile slowly fade into a blank expression as I realize, ‘Ay dios mio, back on that stupid truck ride, the impact must have beaten me up a little. And, being beat up just a little is enough for me to become the avocado that nobody wants, the reject. What am I going to do..... ay dios mio... What shall it be like for me, sitting here as the ugly avocado of the group? Shall it be that day after day, people take one look at me and move right on along because they know there’s no way they’d want to give me a chance? Do I not meet the stupid standards of all the great fresh avocados that they sell here? This simply cannot be. It’s just not fair. But, hell mister fly, you’re just a little critter. You’ve got your own problems. Don’t worry about me, amigo. Fly on, litle fly. Fly on.


Comments (2)

Karoline Castillo (Student 2015)
Karoline Castillo

This is very different from the rest of the monologues. This story is very funny. The character does seem to be talking to someone else. As I was reading, I could imagine the avocado sitting in a box in the vegetable isle at the supper market. I usually get bored reading stories but I agree with Nia this one was pretty amusing.