Hope is Fading

Hope is fading 

This monologue selection was created based off the idea of a young girl being taken into sexual slavery. It tells the story from a one sided point of view which creates a void inwhich you can fill in with your own imagination. The monologues tell a story of a girl named achara who was taken from her home in a local orphanage and forced into the sex industry. She learns and grows there to use what shes got as a weapon and a gift. 

(forced to be a child prostitute in a way) a sweet and naive girl, learning more and more about the worlds truly dark colors, with her slim body in early bloom, she’s blossoming beautifully. She’s got dark black hair and beautiful brown eyes like milk chocolate that can make you melt instantly upon her gaze, she is tall and thin with a light caramel brown complexion. she looks upon the world with hope...but soon realizes that beyond smiles and laughter and the orphanage doors, the world is a completely different place, and she must to adjust if she wants to survive and make her way in it.

- Siras- 

(brother of the main character) 

Siras is a handsome,caring and protective boy. At the age of 13, his main goal is to take care of his sister in the orphanage and to try to get them into a new home. him and his sister Achara have been waiting for someone to adopt them for 10 years and he seems to be getting hopeless, but as his fathers always taught him, he must take care of his sister and try to keep her happy; “Thats what family’s do” he’d always say.

Achara

My name? Achara knulmba. Date of birth? Who remembers anymore? My story...where should i begin?...do you want to hear the real thing? or a sugar coated version...then again i don’t think there’s many ways to make my life seem happy. I’m a 15 year old woman, but i wasn’t when this all started. The year was 1940, two years ago today. I was taken from the orphanage that had sheltered me for the previous 11 years of my life “บ้านของเรายังหนุ่ม” is what the sign outside the large black brass gate read “บ้านของเรายังหนุ่ม” meaning the house of our youth. And it was, a house of laughter and learning and family, the orphanage owner, Mrs. haiaknuman treated us like her own children. We didn’t have a whole lot but for our small little home, we sure made it feel that way. My brother Siras and I had moved there when we were 2 years old, after the death of our parents. We didn’t quite understand at the time what was going on or where mommy and daddy went, but the way we saw it was that they walked out on us...and maybe it was better that way. We had grown accustomed to the ways of the orphanage, the morning schedule, sharing rooms with other children...we became apart of a family for once, since our was taken from us before we really got a chance to get attached to the idea. It was the night of January 1st, new years eve. We didn’t really stay up that night but then again we couldn’t fall asleep either. A creepy stillness lay over the orphanage like a curtain of black velvet and the only noise was of the vacant people still wondering the streets. 3:00 AM is when i heard the abrupt noise emerge from the down stairs living room. The events after that seemed to quick and too horrific to follow. Large men broke through the doors to the bedroom where i and 4 other children lay resting, ripping the young girls from their beds the men quickly got what they came for and stormed out of the house shoving each, tired, confused, terrified girl into their large vehicle....i was one of them.

Who are you? Where are we going?! Are you adopting us? is this how it works? but where is my brother? i don’t want to leave without him! wheres Mrs. haiaknuman, i didn’t get to say good by turn around! (Achara gets hit by a large man in black and shrieks as tears begin streaming down her cheek) Why can’t i ask questions? how am i supposed to get to know you?...if you aren’t trying to adopt me then where are we going? I WANT TO KNOW WHERE WE ARE GOING! (she gets slapped again leaving her cheek red and stinging, she screams in pain and begins to cry harder, she turns to jansia, a girl from the orphanage who had also been thrown into the large vehicle) where do you think they’re taking us Jansia? (she whispers) i don’t know either...i thought they wanted to adopt us, but maybe we’re being moved to a different orphanage...although i think Mrs. haiaknuman would have told us, or had us pack our bags. i know, i want to go back too, these men won’t take care of us...we have to find a way out. i don’t know how yet but i don’t feel safe and I’m scared jansia, what if they try to kill us? i don’t know if they definitely will but they might if we don’t cooperate, you seen how they hit me...i want to go home.

Where am I? Where in Korat? What am i doing here? My clothes? But it’s cold in here. I don’t want to. yes. what are you going to do about it? you can’t touch me like that! I’m only 13! (Achara begins to panic and cry, she doesn’t understand what is happening) NO! NO! PLEASE! Let me go! I won’t tell anyone just let me go! I’ll find my own way home you don’t even have to drive me! Stop it! you’re ripping my clothes! PLEASE! (Achara screams and begins to sob while begging for the man to stop) Stop it you’re hurting me! please! (she whimpers and shakes while the man rapes her) get away from me! i want to leave! HELP! SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME! THIS MAN IS HURTING ME (words are broken off into sobs as she screams for help, the man tries to silence her by yelling back and covering her mouth, she bites him) No! i can’t! i wont! because you are hurting me! and touching me! GET OFF! HELP! somebody please help me! (she sobs and gives up hope when she realizes that no one can hear her, she lays lifeless crying, weeping until the man is finished) i...i can leave? are you going to take me home? the men will? what men? the ones who...dropped me off...but i do not know them! please don’t let them take me! don’t you have a car? can’t you take me home? NO! with them is not my home! where is your door I’m leaving! NO! get off of me! (as she tries to leave the man grabs her by the wrist and prevents her from escaping) I just want to go home.please...

Hmm...i guess my hair’s a little longer... I’ve grown a little taller, the lines under my eyes have gotten a little darker, but nothing too noticeable; but...i can’t help but feeling that my changes go farther than skin deep. i know that outside i may still look the same, but when you look at my smile...its completely different. ( she reached over and turn the light switch off) This is the me that people would recognize the most around here (she takes her top off slowly examining in the floor length mirror, some bruises and scars going up her arms; a tear slides down her cheek) This is the girl i guess I’ve grown to be (she pulls her pants down while still standing in the dark room in front of her mirror) I never wanted it to be like this...but i was always taught to do as i was told...it goes without saying that i was not taught to be a piece of flesh, a bag of tools that all the clients use as they please...(the tears start streaming down her face and rolling down her mostly naked body) i always imagined my first time being something sacred and special...the fact that i can sit in front of this mirror naked and not look away amazes me...although i do not like what i see. this animal of a girl, this woman who changes at the flick of the light switch (she turned the light switch back on and tried to smile) It’s just not the same...i cannot smile when i feel no once of happiness anywhere within these sore beaten bones. At the flick of a light switch (she turns the lights off again) i go from insecure vulnerable child who longs for home again, to be held in the warm caring arms of a mother or father which i never knew...to the animal that moans and sucks and screws whatever holds the highest bid...and the worst part is...i have no control over myself...i am a slave to the greed of a selfish man who holds my fate...(with tears streaming down her face like a war just begun, each tear fell like empty bullet shells to the floor, she looked into the mirror with rage and punched it with her fist, and punched again and again and again until tiny pieces of her reflection lay shattered on the floor as well. she looked down into the remnants of the once long mirror and picked up a piece of sharp, thick glass which held the reflection of her face, she took it and pressed it lightly against her wrist, then shes pressed harder and harder) i don’t want to be here anymore (she begins sobbing) i can’t take this. i can’t do it anymore. i hate myself. i hate what has become of me. i want to go home(the more she repeated the words the quieter her voice became) i want to go home. i want to be with mom and dad again (she pressed her back against the door next to her and slowly slides down it until she is on the floor with her knees in her chest and blood dripping from her wrist onto the carpet) it’s time to go home...

what? I’ll be right out! I’m trying to get dressed! no! i don’t need help! i will be out as soon as i’m done! Appointment? no i wasn’t aware that i had one tonight? i...i can’t go! no honest! i really can’t! i umm... i don’t feel good! i think i might have caught something!...no not like a fever...something..down there. ya know, an STD, of course i’m serious, how do i know what those are? because some of the older girls have talked about them. No, i can’t go, your clients won’t pay for a diseased girl. you might not tell them but i will, i said i don’t feel good, let me rest. We have to handle i head on. a doctor. no i wont say anything i promise, i just need to go to a doctor! what if its something serious. no...i don’t care if the doctors a friend of yours, i need to get help! 

Jaidee, take me for a walk won’t you? why not? no i won’t try any funny business! i just need some fresh air I’ve been in and out of house all the time and i need some air. i know the boss wouldn’t like it but come on for me? (she took her hand and caressed his arm) it look like such a beautiful day for a walk! i know that you’d get in trouble but who said that the big guy has to know about it? (she pushes him against the wall and looks at him with her beautiful brown eyes then whispers in his ear) i know you wanna take me, and you know i can’t go alone so what do you say? ( looking nervous Jaidee gets the keys and waves them in front of her face.) you want me to do this for you? what do i get in return? (she ran her finger from his chest to his pants buckle then pressed herself against him she pulled his arm around her waist and began to kiss him; as he put the keys in his front pocket, she ran her hand from his chest to his belt buckle again and he pulled back to undo it, she stopped him) i can do it, I’m a big girl ( he closed his eyes as to enjoy the moment and she slyly slipped they keys from his pocket and punched him in the groins, he belted over and fell to the ground as she ran towards the door for a quick escape, he screamed  as she ran but she didn’t make it far, as soon as she got to the door, the knob turned and goddrick *guard* came in)

I don’t know what happened he fell, i slammed the door and he walked into it i guess, got him in the area...i don’t know I’m assuming. don’t touch me! 

Before we begin i want some privacy. Just me and the doctor. it’s a nasty site that i don’t think you’ll want to see Goddrick. (Goddrick leaves the room with hesitation and says he’ll be right outside the door) I don’t need a full examination. I just need your help. I know you are a friend of Goddricks and i also know that you are a man, i will do you favors, if you help me escape. And if you don’t? i will tell Goddrick that you tried to have sex with me. now listen, do you have a backdoor? nothing? a window, a secret room, stairs? (she grabs his tie and pulls him close to her face and kisses him) help me. (he grabs her hand and leads her to a room behind a wall, filled with gurneys, a dark dark room, shes scared at first because she doesn’t know whats going to happen, all she knows is that she can’t go back.) is this safe? where does it lead to? Ovlainche street? okay. something for you? what is it? (scene draws to a blank and the curtain comes up when she is on the street)

i looked around, i remembered vaguely seeing these streets on my way to different places, but it was different now. i was free in a way yet held down by my past. i knew i wasn’t totally in the clear, but i was more liberated than before. i walked the lonely streets sectioned off into alleys and dark corners you would hear about in scary stories. i didn’t know what to do now that i was free. i had always been told what to do...now, i had to think on my own...so what to do?...doctors, tests...or maybe, I’d find my way back to my old orphanage..