I miss you - Best Personal Essay Ever
All I remember was standing there seeing his lifeless body laying on the bed. Covered with white sheets, I was afraid to remove it to see his face. What would be different if we stopped him sooner? I asked myself over and over again but knew that we were too late. I remember being at school, in the back office room with a few other people, getting ready to order some food. Playing with a pair of scissors and talking to everyone, I checked the time and I noticed that I have received a text from my mother. “He passed.” I didn’t quite understand what she meant by this so I asked her for confirmation, “What do you mean?” She replies with a heart stopping text “Grandpa left us baby, he’s gone. ” My heart sunk and broke into a million pieces. I didn’t really know how to react. I dropped the pair of scissors I was playing with and suddenly began to cry. I just sat there for a good 5 minutes crying my eyes out before the man told me to go talk to my homeroom teacher. I was brought to her by one of the girls I was with and I remember having my head down the whole time I walked. When I got to the room, all the teachers who was eating lunch together stopped to look at me and then asked what was wrong. I told them what had happened. I remember her asking me if I wanted to go home, and at first I said no. She then told me to go to lunch with the others and if I felt like I wasn’t going to be okay I could go back to her and tell her I want to go home. I walked into the lunchroom, still crying, unaware of the many heads that turned to watch me as I walked in. Certain people that I knew ran up to me and hugged me asking “What’s wrong?” “Are you okay?” “Omg, what happened?” I didn’t know how to answer and it triggered me so I began to cry harder. My friend Melanie brought me back to my teacher and I told her I wanted to go home. She allowed me to call my mother, “mommy, i wanna come home” she said “ok baby nemo is gonna pick you up.” And “nemo” is what we call my cousin. when he arrived to the school, He signed me out and i remember the office ladies saying to me “i hope you feel better honey!” before I walked out. I got into the car and my cousin looks at me and says “you ready?” i answered with “no” and he said “stop crying, everything's gonna be okay my dear” and I slowly stopped crying. I then remember pulling up to my house not wanting to walk out of the car. “Let’s go my dear” he said as he walked up the steps to my house with his head down. As soon as I walked into the door, the first person I saw was my Aunt Lisa and I ran straight to her and began to cry in her shoulders. She rubbed my back telling me he was in a better place and that I should go and comfort my grandmother. When it was my turn to say goodbye I could think of nothing but his smiles. My grandpa was always the one to make me smile as I was younger. I remember Christmas of 2006, I was afraid to open all my christmas presents. I cried until he would pick me up and put me in his bed and I would automatically calm down. He would pat my back and hum me a song in Cambodian, until I fell asleep. It breaks my heart everyday thinking about how life would be if we still had him with us, physically. My family probably would be more happy and more put together. He was such a great man, the strongest man I knew. I miss him so much. I felt like his death was my fault and that I jinxed it. Everyday since he passed away, I could think of nothing but the fact that it really could have been my fault. The reason why I thought it was my fault was because the day after I saw “The Fault in our Stars” he passed away.
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