I like the way that your style changes between memory and the present. The scenes of memory are engaging and magnetic to the point that being reminded of the character's present feels daunting. Well done.
The balance of father and mother made this really well-rounded. There is reference to hard times and stress (playing with the wedding ring) but it's not too plotty, which allows the detail to shine and the characters to just breathe and be themselves. Like in INterior Chinatown, this could be the start of a big story… or not!
I really liked your descriptive language. It really gave the reader a clear idea of how things felt. I can see how you got inspiration from the mentor text we read in class that also used second person pov. I think the description of the characters personalities made them feel real.
It was very enjoyable to have it second-person. (I did that too) It is clear you got the inspiration from the Father and Mother writing. It was interesting to see and experience our character having a self-reflection moment through the moments we had with each parent.
I appreciate how intimate this writing style is. You do a great job at explaining character specific relationships. I also like how you used second person as it helped me imagine better, as if I was the main character. I liked the end sentence, and found it very poetic. Good job!
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