Insolvency and Ice-cream

Posted by Ayala Silverman in English 2 · Pahomov · C Band on Monday, November 21, 2016 at 10:26 pm

Why has God forsaken me? What did I do in my past life to be treated in this way? Am I in hell? Please, God, if you’re listening, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t wave hello to stupid Ms. Jeckles. I’m sorry I didn’t pick up that most likely flea-infested dog. I don’t know what I’ve done but I’m sorry. It’s not fair, I’m a relatively good person, I should have money. (small pause) Maybe I should ask mom. Yeah. She should understand where I’m coming from. (pause) Then again, maybe not. She might get suspicious because I never call her. Ooh, I could probably text her. (pause) Maybe not, she’s always calling me disrespectful and if I text her asking for money then she will never shut up about it. (pause) In that case, then I’ll have to go meet her in person and that is way too much work. But that means that I have to call her and then she’ll probably yell at me over the ph–

(ring) Hello? (pause) Mom? (pause) What do you mean I have no emotion when I answer the phone, I have plenty of emotions. (pause) Yeah, yeah, okay, fine. Actually, it’s a good thing that you called because I have a question to ask. (pause) I swear on my life that it’s important. (pause) Can you lend me some money? (pause) Because you’re my mother and you’re supposed to pamper me. (pause) But moooooom, I’m too old to be getting up and running around like that! (pause) It doesn’t matter that I’m only twenty years old, my back says otherwise. (pause) What’s it for? (pause) Ice-cream sundaes.

(pause) Why are you yelling at me?! (pause) So what if I have money in the bank? That requires leaving the house and interacting with the nasty bank people. (pause) Mom, I barely have two pennies to rub together right now and Swanky Sundaes is really effing expensive! (pause) I do not have to act my age! (pause) Don’t “Lee, please” me, you’ve never gone through what I’m going through right now! (pause) Mom, you don’t understand. Listen, waiting in line for ice-cream sundaes is fun. Waiting in line at the bank isn’t. (pause) What kind of question is that? Of course I have to go to Swanky Sundaes, where else would I get high quality ice-cream sundaes? (pause) Ew, Pete’s only has like three flavors.

(long pause) Wait really? You’ll pay for it? (pause) That’s not fair! (pause) I have paid you back for the socks. (pause) They’re called scarves and I paid you back for those too. (pause) Maybe you’re just old and forgetful. (pause) Okay, that’s not fair at all, you never actually gave them to me once you got them. (pause) AUGH! I’m too ice-cream-deprived to deal with this, mom. Can’t you just buy me ice-cream and yell at me while I eat it? (pause) Why do you keep telling me no? (pause) You get Stephanie ice-cream literally all the time! (pause) Who cares if she’s fourteen and doesn’t have a job? I’m still your child too! (pause) Oh my GOD, why do you always do this? You’ve told me a million times, you should know by now that I am literally incapable of doing that. (pause)(quietly) Lord help me. (normally, exasperated) For the last time, stop telling me to act my age!

Comments (1)

Lucien Hearn

I think that this is well written, but you could do with a conclusion. What happens exactly? Does the mom give her the money, does she not, does the daughter get the money but spend it on something else, etc. It's not bad to not have a conclusion, but if you are trying to imply that the cycle of the argument starts all over again, I would start from an earlier point, and make both sentences more punctuated. It also gets a tad repetitive. We don't learn much about the mother, nor the sister. We also don't know the setting.