Is Love Supposed to Hurt?

Everyone has someone they love. Whether it is a family member, friend, or significant other. Love is supposed to be one of the greatest feelings in the world. Loving someone means you are happy to spend time with them, do things for them, and feel safe around them. But what happens when being around a person you love starts to hurts? What if you’re always scared or gloomy when that person comes to mind? Is that still love?

Having such a relationship with someone is known as being in an abusive relationship. Most people have heard of such a term before, of being in a relationship with someone that is constantly manipulating or harming you, whether it be physically or mentally. This kind of relationship doesn’t only occur between 2 people that have romantic feelings towards each other. It can also happen between friends or family. Abusive relationships are very common. Mentalhelp.net states “Every minute, approximately 20 people are the victims of physical abuse by an intimate partner in the United States.” This is also backed up by the fact that there are about 27,000 calls made to the National Domestic Violence Support Hotline every month.

statistics from a survey about how many people had experienced any form of an abusive relationship

Abusive relationships are not exclusive to only mental trauma. Most of the time, there is a lot of physical abuse involved in these kinds of relationships. Though women are the more common victim of abuse, men are not in the clear neither. According to Mentalhelp.net, 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have been physically abused by a significant other. Abuse doesn’t recognize gender as much as we think it does.

Percentage of men and women physically abused in a current or past relationship

There are plenty of ways to recognize an abusive relationship. One of the most obvious ones is physical abuse. If someone ever physically harms you, then that is a big sign that points towards an abusive relationship, and the issue should be dealt with immediately. Another big sign is just the way you feel. If you feel like they are controlling everything you do, are careful about everything you say to them, or just feel upset in any way around someone. If you recognize signs like these then you should put some distance between yourself and that person.

Of course, leaving an abusive relationship is easier said than done. There are plenty of difficult situations people are in that won’t allow them to leave the relationship. But no matter how difficult it seems, you can get out of it. Maybe not on your own, but there are plenty of people out there wanting to help. Talk to someone close to you that you trust about your situation. If there’s no one that you’re still in contact with, then you can go to the National Domestic Violence Hotline for help.

reasons why people say that they have stayed in an abusive relationship

Abusive relationships have serious effects on the physical and mental health of the victims. Some of those can include sleeping troubles, weakened immunity, anxiety or depression, increased risk of heart attack or stroke, etc.

Abusive relationships are quite common. You or someone close to you could be in one and you might just not have realized it yet. I’ve seen people close to me deal with being in an abusive relationship on their own and when they finally told me, I felt horrible. I wish I had realized before so they didn’t have to be in that relationship as long as they were. But I can’t go back and change the past so instead, I’m trying to share what I’ve learned with others so they are not oblivious to what’s happening like I was. If you are a victim of an abusive relationship, you can talk to someone close to you or go to this site for more help. If you know someone that is in an abusive relationship then try to talk to them, but keep in mind, talking about things like that is not easy so be patient. Love is never supposed to hurt.

Annotated Bibliography