Its all in the Voice

“Mugga.” said Tecarria.

“What?” I replied.

“Ya know, mugga.” she answered.

“I have no idea what you are talking about.”

“You is too white.”

            I never really thought about that, being “too white” that is. I had been going to Levering middle School for two years now. The school was located in Roxorough, which is why I went there, because it was my neighborhood school. However the majority of the kids were not my neighborhood kids. They always talked about places I had never even seen, like Diamond Block. I felt so left out. The kids that lived on “Diamond Block” were the poorer kids; the kids in my neighborhood were the richer.  In my middle school you could pick out whose parents made more than 50 thousand a year and whose didn’t just by their voice. There was a distinct language barrier between their neighborhood and mine, and it was that barrier that made my 7^th grade experience hard.

            I have always been a social person. I always had a lot of friends because I always made friends with people inside of my comfort zone, meaning the people from my area. When I began talking to the kids in my class I knew what kind of people they were. I knew what their parents did and what they would grow up like. It was more necessity then curiosity that I learn their “language,” or “Black English” as James Baldwin calls it. Being stuck in a room with twenty other kids five days a week means we need to talk, a least a little. According to James Baldwin after you speak “You have confessed your parents, your youth, your school, your salary, your self-esteem, and, alas, your future.” I couldn’t agree more. Before Levering, before those kids, I knew very little slang. I came from a family that spoke with very little slang. I grew up with kids that used very little slang. So, it was only natural that I used Standard English. When I talked I confessed my parents and my youth. So did they.

            I picked up a lot of slang during middle school. I learned a new language in a way. That was me confessing my school.

“It’s because she’s a trick.”

“What are you talking about? What is a trick?” said my neighborhood friend.

“Oh it means like a hoe.” I replied.

“Where did you learn that?” my friend asked.

“People at school, I guess.” I answered.

“You shouldn’t talk like that, it’s not you, it’s too ghetto.” said my friend.

            By the end of middle school I had changed my language. My neighborhood friends, speaking Standard English, heard my language and saw me as one of “those ghetto kids.” I never really knew how I felt about this. I mean on one hand I fit in at school, I had friends to talk to, and I could understand what they were saying, on the other hand my home friends didn’t understand me and even my parents had begun to notice, they would tell me not to talk like “those ghetto kids,” that their language was bad. I don’t feel like it was ever ‘bad’ just not the most professional. For instance when I had to go to my high school interviews, I spoke in Standard English because that is what showed the better side of my background. I feel like that was what James Baldwin was talking about your language, it shows who you are but different parts, standard being the better parts and informal being the not so good parts, or the ghetto. The only problem is Standard English is “too white” and slang is “too ghetto.” Now, in high school I feel like I have found a happy medium. Nobody tells me that I talk “too white” or “too ghetto” anymore. I feel like it’s partly because I have separated myself from all of my middle school friends and my high school friends do not use as much slang.

            I feel like my language today gives a decent representation of who I am currently, who I use to be, and who I will be, just as James Baldwin said it did.  I feel like this is true for most people. For instance, when I hear a person for the south speak, I instantly know that they are from the south or when I hear someone from parts of Philly or New York their accents are very distinct to what part they are from and the language they choose is very distinct to the type of person they are. Your language, in turn, is you more than your person is. Your voice is more of an impacting tool, than your body will ever be because you can see a person but until you hear them you will not know them.