Jump or Stay

Adowa Mohamed

The Bridge

(Talks towards the sky standing on a bridge)Dear God,

I am at the point where I just wanna go, life isn’t the way I had expected. People are always  talking bout “Oh its okay, it'll get better. Just wait and see. But I’m done waiting. Done looking and see what the future might have in store for me. I wanna go and I wanna go now I don’t know what to do. I just hate my life and everything about it. I feel like the world’s better off without me. Im better of being dead, no one wants me around anyways.


You said you’d always be here for me... but you’re not. *Sigh* Would anyone even notice? Probably not. God, if you’re out there, I’m tired, tired of being used and hated. I don't belong here. I don’t belong anywhere. I just can't stop thinking about how better off peoples lives would be without me. I mean, no one would care. Where are they, huh? The people who said they’d always be there for me... well they’re not and probably never will be. Okay. Continuing with life just isn’t worth it anymore. People don’t want me. Especially Alexis. “shakes head” *sigh* Oh how that girl would always think she was better than anyone. Always pushing me around.

(Looks to either side)WHY DON’T YOU PUSH ME NOW, HUH? PUSH ME OFF THIS DUMB BRIDGE, MIGHT AS WELL, YOU COLD HEARTED, BITCH. Always making me feel unwanted like I didn’t get enough of that already at home. You lied just like everyone else in my life. Telling me you’d always be there for me, and leave when I need you the most. You were my only friend, my best friend, and I trusted you.

(Turns back to God) God, I told that girl all my secrets and she turned them, every single last one of them into a joke. Said things like, “Ha Thats why yo daddy ain’t love you nor yo mama and left y’all in that house to die.” God, where is daddy.

You left me with mom and told me you’d be back. Told me you needed time alone. I don’t know why I believed you. You lied to me just like the rest of you people. How could you just walk out my life like that. *Sobs*

God, I give up.  (takes a step closer) I can’t .. I just cant. If I leave mom on her own what will she have then. I can’t treat her like these people have to me. She needs me. I just gotta stay strong, hold on the the good. God. But it's just so hard. *slowly begins to cry* Maybe some day I’ll figure out what I’m doing (sigh). But for now I know I can’t. Mom needs me just like I needed Dad. (gets off the bridge and sadly walks home alone kicking a rock.)