Keystone Pipeline Monologue Project

In my World History class we’ve been learning a lot about the Keystone XL Pipeline, a proposed oil pipeline that would transport tar sands oil from Canada to Texas (for for information about the Keystone XL Pipeline see appendix below). The assignment was to write three (and preform one) monologues as three different characters talking about the pipeline. The hardest part of this project was finding a balance between showing and telling. 

Starlight (performance artist)

(enters carrying bongos and has flowers in hair) (hairy armpits) (the actress cannot shave for this to work) (if you have ever seen Rent, “Over the Moon” would be good reference)

Hello citizens of the world. I am Starlight, lover of the earth. 

There is a storm coming 

(ominous music) (bongo beat)

A storm...of blood!!!!!!!! 

(bongo beat) 

This blood will cover the land, cover its native people, cover our hearts 

(bongo beat) (cool dance move)

But, these rich rain clouds think they have us fooled. They tell us that yes, perhaps the soil will be stained with tan grainy blood, perhaps our mothers fingers will be reduced to nubs, perhaps the clear milk from her supple breast will be drained, but it is worth it.

Why?

So we can power our stainless steel appliances. So our cars can run faster, better, longer. Who cares if tar sands oil produces 3x more C02...thats what natural resources are here for right? For us to use as fast as we possibly can...they’re renewable, right?Oh 

(bongo beat)

Whats that? They’re nonrenewable? So why do we continue to deplete them?

So we can continue to wear away the hole in our mothers skin. 

Learn the facts, do not become sheeple, baa-ing at corporations as they shear you bare.

(bongo beat)

This next monologue is the one I chose to preform and film. You can view the video here.

Charles McMoneybags

(He is sitting behind an executive desk in a high backed leather chair with great lumbar support. He speaks on a solid gold telephone)

Ma’am, I can assure you that every tree we cut down will be replaced with three more...how long will it t-listen ma’am, I am a very busy man. I only want to help the American Economy...no I will not release my tax returns! How dare you!

(slams phone)

Fuckin hippies!

begins to furiously write. 

phone rings

Hello? What does he want? No. Send him away. I don’t care--I’m a very busy man.

hangs up

phone rings again

Hello? Oh for christs sake Kristen can you please send him away? Tell him I’m at an Obama fashion show, I don’t care. Kristen, I don’t pay you $25,000 dollars a year to let these liberal morons wrestle their way into my office! I am the CEO of the richest oil company in the US! I don’t have time for this shit!

(slams phone really hard, like he wants to kill someone)

writes furiously

phone rings

JESUS CHRIST KRISTEN YOU ARE FIRED! GET OUT! I KNEW I SHOULDN’T HAVE HIRED A WOMAN-oh my god I am so sorry Mrs. Rosenberg. No, I’m not at home right now, maybe Dora can let you in. I think she knows where the spare key is. You have a good day now. 

phone rings

Hello? 

gets exited-its none other than BARACK OBAMA!!!!!!!! 

(motions outside his office for Kristen to come in)

whispers

Kristen, clear my schedule.

Hello Mr. Obama, it is an honor to speak with you. Yes. I understand you are concerned about the environment, but you need to make a choice. If you want the support you had from the right in 2008, you’re going to have to sign off on this or else you are looking at a one term pregnancy. Listen, Barack, can I call you that? This is going to be like liquid gold. If you want to revitalize the US Economy, this is it! You’ve got the property taxes from the land we uses, you’ve go the boost of the local economies. Plus, pipelines are the safest way to transport oil! We’ve got guys out there 24/7 checking for leaks. Alright...I understand your concern...now I didn’t want to bring this up but you leave me no choice...I have some photos from your college years that I don’t think you would want the public to see, Mr. Barack O-Bong-a... You must not be a very good poker player because I am not bluffing. I’ll have my assistant fax them over right now. I would watch my tone if I were you...you have a good day now. 

(Hangs up, and smiles)

Character: Jenkins

Jenkins is a grumpy old man. He lives in a cabin in the woods and has been displaced by construction. He has lots of warts. 

the scene opens with Jenkins waking up from the sounds of bulldozers 

What is that....is it those damn commies? I knew this day would come.

Jenkins reaches into a box under his bed and pulls out a army uniform from the Vietnam war. He puts it on (it is way to big). He puts on the helmet which covers his eyes, so he must constantly adjust it. He pulls a shotgun out from the closet. He walks outside, shotgun pointed at the sky.

Alright you commie pigs...today is the day you die!

Aims gun at sky and shoots wildly

Sayanora! 

stops shooting

Who are you? Whats going on? What? Oh thats what all the commies say mr “Construction Worker” A pipeline? I dont even know what that is! Get out of my yard! What do you mean “eminent domain?” Sounds like a bunch of baloney to me. 

Hey!!! I said get out!! I know that our president, Mr. Richard Nixon, would not support this! I’ll call him right now!! If I could only find my rotary phone...Oh screw it. Get out of my yard!!! 

Didn’t you hear me?? Get out of my yard!!! What do you mean? How is this good for me? Where am I going to live? 

pause

How dare you!!! I have more time than that! I’ll have you know that my father lived to be 83! 

Get...out....of....my...yard!!!

shoots wildly. bullet ricashays off of bulldozer and shoots jenkins in leg. he dies. 

Appendix

-The proposed pipeline would run from Canada to Texas, making it one of the longest oil transportation pipelines in the world.

-The oil transported would be tar sands oil. This oil is very dirty and must go through extensive processing to be useable.

-Tar sands oil produces 3x more CO2 than crude oil. 

-The project (funded by private corporations) would cost roughly 7 billion USD.

-The pipeline would transport 800,000 barrels of oil per day.

-The pipeline would run over the largest freshwater reserve in the US. If there were to be an oil spill it could potentially contaminate our drinking water. 

Bibliography

TransCanada. "Keystone XL Pipeline Project." Keystone XL Pipeline Project. TransCanada, n.d. Web. 15 Oct. 2012. <http://www.transcanada.com/keystone.html>.

Mckibben, Bill. "Global Warming's Terrifying New Math." Rollingstone.com. Rolling Stone, 19 June 2012. Web. 15 Oct. 2012. <http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/global-warmings-terrifying-new-math-20120719>.

Beutler, Brian. "The Keystone Fight Is Uniting Tea Partiers With Environmentalists."TPM. N.p., 27 Feb. 2012. Web. 15 Oct. 2012. <http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/02/keystone-opposition-creates-strange-bedfellows-in-rural-america.php>.