KiLLead

Reading the Handmaid’s Tale, we see the life of Offred and the few handmaid’s Offred references that live an exterminated life. This book has taken the idea of dystopian and made it a living hell for women quite literally having them be forced to act upon men’s will. With no questions asked there is nothing but submission to men in this world and they look to have no wonderful escape in this book. But the thing I often pick up from the book is the killing of many ideas, people, things and life before Gilead. A quote I want to bring up is from Chapter 22, pg. 133, that talks about power and that being stripped away. It reads.“Moira had power now, she’d been set loose, she’d set herself loose. She was now a loose woman.” It kills the thought and idea of something so small such as maybe wearing your skirt to a certain length or even saying something makes for Gilead to kill it. It’s hard to call this a society when things are running on questionable morals and ethics that you don’t believe in not one bit. The apparent reason we see Offred often going to the past and referencing her old life is because it was when she was alive and had fulfillment for the things she believed in. The visions of her are wiped clean when the power is gone and the republic you reside in is like plastic. No fate is a conspiracy, neither is there speculation for the people who may have killed the dream of the woman of Gilead.

Which is why I take note of the sanity of Offred, and I see a lot of parallels with me and her throughout chapters. I can see a fight for the system just like Offred can see but it’s promptly killed as the conscious thoughts of the society we live in take over. I need to be a better writer and learner but the things that stop me are the “smarter people” than me but I know I can just as or better than them. Which is why I feel I ask the question “Can you be?” I don’t know what that requires of me but the quest to let go of these voids consume me and I can’t seem to let them go as positive thoughts are killed very quickly. It often ends up with me going back to the glorious past and looking at the “good” times and it’s so hard because things were sunshine and rainbows as the material was simply easier. But the horizon of being better than I was years ago often leaves me jetlagged or having to recuperate. Even as the hard times pile up I think to the quote “I have failed once again to fulfill the expectations of others, which have become my own.” from Chapter 13, pg. 73, which touches on both of our struggles. Even though I’m not in a dystopian society run by men, it hurts to see someone stuck in their own head even as the life they need is a little distant. But the remedy is the peace in which the chaos of our own doubts brings, its beauty in the madness as in the end it will be rewarding. The quotes also bring up people who have expectations, but delivering is the thing you bring on your own even as other people expect them to be fulfilled just like you did. Who do you put the blame on when the people also put the blame on you and you’re right back to where you started which is in your own head? Looking at Gilead and reality, it’s a blame game and in the end you want to just go away for a little while. A quote about ending it all for good in Gilead touches on this as it reads “That was one of the things they do. They force you to kill, within yourself.” The dream is killed first and then with that the soul goes away with it as it just becomes too much to handle. The people in my life have great expectations for me and to deliver such expectations we have to force many things in order to get where we want. The expectation becomes both of our problems and once it’s forced it takes a toll on you as you want to succeed more than ever.

But even as this crazy feeling takes attachment to you have to not be afraid. This quote touches on this “Better never means better for everyone, he says. It always means worse for some.” from Chapter 32, pg. 211. The things you experience or go through are often not forever and could be worse, even as there is no hope. Think about the past but don’t get stuck in it as it will take over you. But just know that there will be good times even in times of Horor…