When I was younger language was a conflict in my home and it still is most times because I have to switch from English to Albanian and sometimes when I help my parents to English then translate to Albanian then when that's done I have remember to show my brother that he should speak Albanian because it his first language even if he has great understanding speaking should come first because it his culture. Then after that I have school and in the beginning for me language in school was quite difficult to speak to because sometimes the transaction it would confuse me I remember once being in class doing my work and teacher calls on me asking me Also what is the author saying in the text I say “He is saying that too much good thing is sometimes bad” and I thought I had answered right but the teacher and students are looking at me like I am a little green man from another planet and I am asking them take me to your leader.
I repeated myself again and as the word “He” came out my mouth I realized that I was talking Albanian they had right look at me like that as I tried to mumble up some sort of and apologize to my teacher while I heard the laughter of an entire class I just wished that I could end the day already. That was the first and not last time that I have confused my languages together I mix them up every once and a while because the constant switch between it has become a reflex if that's best way to word it so most time I will just talk and the switch just happens I really don't know why it happens but I have tried stop it best I can which has cause me to lose accent that people use to say that I used to have Twenty-four seven but a part of it I have and will never lose because it my connection to who I am. When I look back now to all mistakes I used make and the blurting out of Albanian in class while answering a questions I laugh because its who I am.
I would think that language is not just conflict for me in school but in other aspects of my life as well it some times its hard to articulate properly like people wish you to do or even find the right words to say when I talk. When I usually have a conversation or try to with my parents it end up with me halving it all ways
“Aldo did you do your homework yet”
“ Yes Why do you need me”
“ We are leaving come down and watch your brother down stairs”
“I will just go” “ Also what did you say I said come down stairs”
“ I said that I am”
I understand that seems like a normal back forth dialogue right there but if I had not translated it you would not have understood they time I had this conversation with my mother she did not understand me and not because I was far she could not here but because some words That I learned in Albanian I had forgotten or overpowered by the English. Its like when you have to fragrances together one is lighter and the other is stronger the lighter one will be overpowered by the stronger fragrance in the end as it always does that's what happens with my Albanian It get overpowered by the English and most of my vocabulary is diminished into a few phrases that even a novice could say with just few weeks of practice.
“ Aldo you know you don't sound Albanian at all right”
“ What does that mean I don't sound Albanian”
“I am just saying that you sound like a Greece who tries speaking Albanian, You are a wolf in sheep's clothing if you will ”