Language Autobiography: Manna-Symone Middlebrooks

Since the beginning of civilization people have used language to their advantage. When invading or taking over a new land, the invaders had the upper hand because the others could not understand their words.  The invaders saw them as inferior. Language is still used in this same way today, but instead of individualizing and using their own language to an advantage, people find it necessary to change their language to match the power of the invader.

 Those who have power in language are the people who speak the standard form of the language. These people speak in a way that is accepted and understood by all who listen. They remove all traces of accent or dialect. No trace of individuality can be heard. These people give up their identity and individuality to become successful. From their actions one can assume that, to be a powerful and successful member of society, they have to speak in the standard and universally acceptable form of language.  All other ways of speaking and their speakers are inferior. 

My young mind could not begin to comprehend why they thought I was being disrespectful. I simply said, “Can I go to the park with Lucia, please?” How could a simple question be considered as disrespect? I hadn’t asked for anything inappropriate or unusual. So I stood there unsure of what to say, awaiting their next response.

On the heated porch of a small country house in Mississippi sat the children of my now late grandfather Green. Their faces were sent on content and laughter. The daughters all three of them raged in shades of skin color, or chocolate as my grandfather called it. The three girls sat in their rocking chair, rocking at a steady pace so that a light breeze would move synchronized with their motion. On the left was Christine. She was the milk chocolate of the three. Her clothing clung tight to her body, using the sweat that was pouring from her as an adhesive. In the middle was Joyce. She was the white chocolate. She too was sweating, but she made it a frequent habit to dab herself dry. To the right of Joyce, was Deloris. She was the dark chocolate and the heat was doing quite a number on her. Her skin seemed to be melting away from the skeleton it was molded on. The two sons sat on both sides of the group of women looking like dry skeletons.

I stood behind the rickety green screen door watching them. They were fascinating. Never in my entire life had I heard such a “twang” or essence of country in a person’s voice. They took what seem to be hours to me to breath in between words and years to breath between sentences. “Did yall heah wat they says bout Normajean, round down in Winona?” Her voice echoed in my head. My brain being wired by my mother to fix all grammatical errors that are spoken, rephrased the question the way it should have been said. Did you all hear about Normajean in Winona? I was only ten and I was speaking correctly. Why couldn’t she? Or was it me that was speaking in correctly?

I was still standing with my face plastered to the screen door, when Lucia stepped to the children. “ I’ms goin to the river yonder bhinde Ole Duncan’s.” Her words burned themselves in my mind.  Mentally, sparks were flying trying to reconnect find the socket where grammar and articulation were correct. I burst out the door and asked my question. Maybe, if they heard me speak they could see the right way to speak. “Can I go with Lucia, please?” 

It was a simple question. The question only required a simple yes or no, but that is not what happened. Their words came slow, strong, and countrified. “How dares you gon speeak toos us lak dhat. Didn’t yo mama rise you bedder. We’s elder dhan you.” Her voice was over powered by one that was heavier and owned by a man,“I’s kno yo mama teached you sum spect’. Youse a youngin. Can’t be commin round heah an talking like yous bettah dhan us. Talk rhight an doos it nhow. We’s ain’t gon take no despect from no youngin!” His voice faded into the now thick air. 

I stood there frozen. My mouth was open to speak, but not a word could bring itself to existence. I didn’t know how to speak without disrespect. I didn’t know how to abandon the way I had been wired to speak to satisfy another. My mind remained in contemplation and my body stood frozen.

My speech was not disrespect; it was demeaning. The words and the way that they were said, threatened the children. My actions were not intentional, but they were taken as so. A simple question had been blown out of proportion. I could not understand why it was that they saw my speech as disrespectful, but I did know that I did not approve. At that very moment I decided that my way of speaking had power and that because I, and others that primarily surround me approve, it was the right way to speak and I would use it.

The faces of the children were of belittlement and disgust.  I looked into their eyes and regained my innocence. They still stared at me. All of us, dumbfounded. I murmured a soft apology, “Sorry”. All eyes immediately met mine. I stood there unsure of what to say, awaiting their next response.

Standard language leaves people with accents and dialects dumb. Words that once had a specific definition in one dialect are now adopted and added to the standard language and their definitions are changed. The definitions are adjusted to fit the standard. In his essay “If Black English Isn't a Language, then Tell Me What It.”  James Baldwin highlights words such as “Jazz” that once carried a sexual meaning and was primarily used by African Americans, but now means fancy or expensive. The language conformed. It’s meaning changed along with those who used the words. This is an example of how language almost forces conformity upon us. It is not done in a harsh violent matter, but by changing the meaning of a word and its speakers others have to adopt this new way to continue usage. Their ideas about their language have to change to meet the norm, to fit in.

Language has power only because humans have given power to it. We fuel language and in doing that we also promote language inequality and conformity. We strip ourselves of individuality and make a system of superiority. Because we have done this people live their lives trying to reach the status of the invaders.