Love Is All We Need

                                                        LOVE IS ALL WE NEED

I believe in love. The historical lust that was suddenly accepted because of God. Love has many forms. Not always good but never wrong. Sexually, romantically, and even hate. Some of our love stems from fear. It's love that gets me boxed up and hiding from an open window. It's love that makes me crazy enough to run outside in the middle of a thunderstorm at 1am and cry on the benches at 6. It's always stalking me. Haunting my flesh and making it sin. Giving me a thirst for action, love is always missing. It's like you could never get enough of it. I got some stories to tell....


Almost a decade ago, I met my dad. I can remember everything like it happened yesterday. My aunt gets into a car accident with my uncle. They make an connection with my mom. My mom then connect to my grandmother. There I am, sitting on my grand mothers couch. Staring at family pics knowing I'm not in none of them. Love hurts. It's dangerous to look at. I had this big smile on my face. A smile that was glazed in sweat created by nervousness.  Then my father came. The smile grew more. We took family photos and I even worked with him the next day. That's was the last time I ever saw him.    How can you love someone after two days when they been neglecting you for 12 years? It was my first heartbreak and I wasn't present to know. I believed every little bull shit of a lie that he told me. All the things he would do for me. All the things he hoped of me becoming. I could finally call someone dad without having that second thought. He never told me he love me. At Least, I don't think I ever heard him say that word . Maybe he did and I just forgot because I knew it was a lie.  It never really matter to me though because I already had a love growing on him. Now I'm heart broken again and calling random men "daddy". Love makes you do crazy things.

Butterflies drifted away. The sun stood still. My eyes never opened that day. How can love do me like this? How dare it take away my pride and  throw away my vision? Why did love make me blind? I never fell. I tripped on flat ground, treated it like a fall. I can't stop eating. Im gaining weight. No one's checking on me. My insecurities look so beautiful to me. If looks can be deceiving then why do we die from the same trick?

That day, love did not exist. It giggled at me while holding my veins tight. It embrace my body and ripped every man made thing off of me. It knew what it was doing. I am dumb and naive. I am dumb and wise. I am wise yet dumb. The setting was so perfect. It smelt so pretty. It felt so good. It read me like a  dog begging to go outside to pee. All it had to do was unlock a few things and put a leash on me. Now the door is open. I only wanted to rest. Love woke me up. It made my words seem like corny excuses so I had to allow it. Love assaulted me that day. I went out to celebrate. I wanted love to assault me again and again and again. I try finding it in many other forms. It died. If It can die than it must've lived at some point. For it to live then it must've been real. It is real because I was forced to believe in it. I know it exist. I feel it everyday. I use it everyday. I taste it twice a week and I listen to it once every five years. I believe in love.